“About to wrap these gifts,” I reply.
“Without me?”
“Marcia, I didn’t know when you were coming home.” She recognizes Cooper’s gift and then understands my mood.
“Carmen, I know you miss him and things will work out in time.”
“I guess. I am going to stop by his house on Christmas.”
Marcia already knows this. “You should and let him know how you feel.” While walking down the hall, she says, “Give me five minutes to change and get my stuff.”
I turn on the season’s channel, so we can listen to Christmas music. I light the cinnamon candles and make more cocoa. Wrapping paper is skewed all across the floor: red with glitter snowflakes, white with green Christmas trees topped with a gold star. Bows of all shapes and colors are in a plastic bag. Ribbon is located by the scissors and tape. Marcia always buys what she calls a “special roll” each Christmas. This year she went with a silver paper decorated with different color balls. I actually purchased my own “special roll” to wrap the gift for the man I love. It’s a shiny royal blue with white markings that resemble snow falling from the sky. I eye a silver bow in Marcia’s bag of goodies that I will use for the top.
“I hate wrapping gifts.”
“Carmen, it is a part of the spirit of Christmas plus you get to spend time with me.”
Rolling my eyes, I say, “I rather pay someone to do this.”
Marcia bought her parents matching robes and gift certificates to two of their favorite restaurants. For my dad, who is obsessed with guns, he is getting a wooden gun cleaning tool chest, a Gunvault (the deluxe series) and a $500 gift card to Guns ‘R Us. My mother, who doesn’t take proper care of her apple products, will receive Louis Vuitton iPad case, Louis Vuitton iPhone case, Louis Vuitton notebook cover and a Louis Vuitton “Neverfall MM,” which is a large bag. It may seem like I go overboard, but this is the only time of year that my parents allow me to purchase items for them. For Cooper, I really hope he likes his gift. It is a Reed and Barton Hamilton Decanter set. The decanter is a crystal that holds 26oz of Scotch with four matching 12oz glasses. It is personalized with his initials CNJ, which stand for Cooper Nathaniel Jackson.
Later that evening Marcia and I exchange gifts. I give her a bath caddy that holds her wine glass, bar of soap and one of her nasty books. I also give her a gift set of Gucci Guilty, her favorite scent. Marcia knows me so well and she gives me a red Dooney and Bourke purse filled with all my favorite fragrances from Victoria’s Secret. Before Marcia leaves to go to Chesterfield, we have our traditional pre-Christmas meal. All we eat is junk food and top it off with a bowl of Rocky Road ice cream.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Nausea has hit me when I pull into Cooper’s driveway. I am so nervous walking towards the door. Beverly opens the screen and smiles at me. It has been so long since I have seen or spoken to Cooper. Seeing his mother oddly comforts me.
Beverly reaches for me and I hug her. “I am so glad that you are here, Carmen.”
Mr. Jackson walks towards us. “Carmen, it is so good to see you.” I smile weakly.
We walk inside. There is a seven foot pine tree in the far corner of the living room. The only embellishment is the white lights wrapped around it.
“Where is Cooper?”
“He is in his study. Everything will be okay,” Beverly says. Timothy gives me an encouraging smile.
Walking into Cooper’s study, I feel like I am going to faint, but he isn’t in here. The dark brown leather Kubus sofa on the back wall is empty, so is the matching chair beside it. A large mirror trimmed in gold is hung above the couch. Bookcases align the wall behind his desk, all jam-packed with reading material. His degrees are framed and hung where the bookcases end. I decide to place his gift on his huge oak wood desk. The desk lamp is on, computer screen is black. I notice a collage of pictures with me being the only subject. I never knew he took my picture, especially not when I was asleep. Picking up the silver picture frame, I smile. It appears that the glass has recent smudges on it. I wonder if he strokes the pictures the way he used to stroke my cheek. Maybe he doesn’t hate me.
“Put that down,” commands Cooper.
Startled I quickly turn around. Cooper is standing in front of me drying his hands. Instantly I place the frame down.
I whisper, “Cooper.” God, how I have missed him and now he is within reach. I fight the urge to run to him and observe his face, which is blank with cold eyes.
“Why are you here?”
Pointing to the gift, I say, “I wanted to bring your gift and see you.”
He crosses his arms, “You have seen me, now leave.”
This is so much harder than I thought it would be. Be brave, Carmen.
“I also wanted to talk to you,” I say. He looks livid. “I miss you and I am sorry for everything.”
He interrupts me, “It’s Christmas, a time you spend with people you care about, and they are down stairs.”
What have I done to this man? Tears fall. “Cooper I know you are angry with me, but please hear me out.” He walks past me and sits in his chair. I continue, “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I pushed you away. You loved me and I was too scared and dumb to embrace it. I don’t want to live without you. Please give us another chance.” He stares at me. “I love you. I am in love with you. If you take me back I promise I will never hurt you again,” I say.
Cooper stands up, I think he is going to hug me and we will make up. I am wrong. He walks past me and opens the door. “Are you finished?” he asks.
Am I finished? Speechless, I just nod.
He replies, “Then show yourself out.”
Beverly and Timothy are waiting for me at the end of the stairs. My tears let them know things did not go well. They look sad, but that’s nothing compared to how I feel.
“I am sorry Carmen, I thought everything would work out,” says Beverly unhappily.
“He is hurt and that’s my fault. I am not giving up. I will fight for him, for us.”
Timothy tells me not to give up and I reassure them that I won’t. We say our goodbyes and I drive to Chesterfield to spend Christmas with my parents.
Chapter Thirty
It is New Year’s Eve and the girls and I decide to stay in. We are in our pajamas, drinking white Russians, watching the count down. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. “Happy New Year” we say to each other. Starting the New Year with my friends is delightful, but I can’t help but wonder what Cooper is doing. There hasn’t been any communication between us since Christmas. I get my phone and reach out. Me: Happy New Year Cooper: Same to you Me: I love you
He never responds to the last text.
A new year brings new beginnings, so they say. My only resolution is to get Cooper back. But how? I need assistance, so I call Beverly.
She answers, “Hi, Carmen. Happy New Year, how are you?”
“I am okay. Happy New Year.” Silence. “I need your help with Cooper. He wasn’t pleased to see me on Christmas and we haven’t had any contact.”
“Of course I will help you, sweetie.”
Did she just call me sweetie? This is beyond bizarre.
“Carmen, don’t let my son’s stubbornness get you down. What do you want me to do?”
Who would have thought we would be working together? It still blows my mind.
“I need to see Cooper again, but one on one. Somewhere public, maybe he won’t be as cruel and tell me to leave.”
“That will be easy. I will tell him to meet me for dinner and you go instead. He will be on his best behavior in public. I am going out of town for the next four days. When I get back you will receive a text from me, once the plan is in motion.”
“Thank you, Beverly and have a safe trip.”
“Don’t thank me, just name one of your children after me,” she laughs.
“I have to get Cooper back first.”
“You will.”
We
hang up.
Wednesday afternoon, Marcia frantically calls me to ask if I can bring her a pair of cotton panties and her black pencil skirt. Apparently she miscalculated her menstrual cycle.
The floors at A. Werts have recently been polished. The sound of my black boots can be heard echoing off the walls as I approach the front desk. I stick out like a sore thumb, especially since I am wearing a simple black sweater with light denim jeans. My boots are below my knee covering the skinny bottoms of my jeans. I chose a leopard belt since it matches well with my scarf. My long wool black coat makes me look straight out of the Matrix, except for the animal print.
The receptionist shows she is not pleased with my appearance. Her name is Mika. She is a young Asian woman, with short black hair. Mika asks who I am here to see. I inform her that Miss Marcia Davis is expecting me. She looks doubtful.
After calling Marcia, she smiles and says, “Miss Davis is waiting for you.”
No shit. She proceeds to tell me where Marcia’s office is, but I cut her off since I already know where I am going. Walking down the corridor I pass many meeting rooms, all the outside labels read occupied. Finally I reach the section separated especially for the advisors. There are several small offices encircling a large portion of the floor. Marcia is sitting at her desk. Upon seeing me, she grabs the items from my hand and disappears into the ladies room. I sit at her desk and look out the window.
A voice says, “Marcia, where are you with the Brown account?” I know and love that voice—it’s Cooper. Turning around to face him, he looks up from the paper he was reading.
Cooper frowns. “Carmen, what are you doing here?”
God is he so fine. “Marcia needed my assistance, so here I am. How are you?” He turns to walk away. Nervously I say, “Cooper, please wait.” He stops and turns around. I know I only have a few seconds before he tells me to leave. Rising from the chair, I ask “Can we talk?” He shakes his head no, now I am standing in front of him. “Cooper, please.”
“I am busy. Don’t have time for you to waste.”
His face is firm. Before I can stop myself, I stand on my tippy toes and kiss him. At first he doesn’t react then pushes me away. He looks conflicted. Cooper then kisses me, his mouth hard on mine, our tongues embracing. My hands are around his neck and his are on my butt. He lifts me up and pins me against the wall. Oh, I just came. The kissing is intense and I don’t want it to stop. But as quickly as it started, it ceased. Cooper puts me down, something is wrong.
Looking at me with confusion, he declares “I have moved on, so should you.” He walks out of Marcia’s office.
With the kiss we just shared, it’s evident he hasn’t moved on.
Chapter Thirty-One
During my workout, my phone receives a text. Normally I would ignore it, but my gut tells me to check it out. It’s a message from Beverly.
Beverly: Meet Cooper tonight at Legacy Grill. Be there at 7. Good Luck.
Me: I will need it. Thanks again.
I have exactly two hours to get ready and there. I shower quickly and looking at my body in the mirror, I have lost some weight. Hopefully things work out for us, because I need some loving. As I look at my heart shaped Brazilian; I remember how Cooper loved kissing that spot. No time for daydreaming. After applying moisturizer over my entire body, I spritz Pink perfume over my wrist and then dab my neck. The scent is pure and clean. Hopefully my black lace panties with matching bra will be seen tonight. Once my makeup is immaculate, I put on my new black dress that has lace embroidery in the front. Sliding my black tights up my silky legs, I then buckle my Mary Jane multi-color python pumps to give my wardrobe some color.
My hair is going to be worn down in its natural wavy state. With only thirty minutes to spare I rush to the door where I put my long black wool coat on and retrieve the new red Dooney & Bourke purse Marcia gave me. I’m so nervous getting in the elevator, it feels like perspiration is about to take its toll, though the weather feels like negative two degrees outside. My hands are shaking while inserting the keys into the ignition. I wish I would have purchased the automatic starter, it is so cold. I rub my hands together through my black leather gloves while the car warms up. Tonight is the night and everything has to go well. I have hope we are going to make it work; after all, he kissed me not long ago.
Putting the car in drive, I get to Legacy Grill in no time. My body tenses when I see Cooper’s black Mercedes flash by me. He steps out in a fitted leather jacket with light denim jeans; some sort of pattern is on the back pocket. It reminds of the True Religion emblem, they hug his ass well. I lick my lips and think about my hands all over him. When he turns around, I see underneath the jacket is a light gray dress shirt, with a black vest over top. He doesn’t catch me peeking so I watch him from a distance for a little bit longer. Prior to walking into the restaurant, I observe Cooper through the window. He sips Scotch and looks at his watch. The watch I bought him. This makes me smile.
It’s now or nothing. Taking my coat off before he sees me, I place it on the chair.
“You are late.” He says while looking at the menu.
“Hi, Cooper.” Utter shock and confusion is written on his face.
“Carmen, I’m supposed to be meeting my mother, but for some reason I think you two planned this.” He motions for me to sit down.
“Yes, she told me you would be here tonight.” I say taking a seat.
“What can I do for you?” He can do a lot for me, especially to me.
“Why can’t you forgive me? Why can’t we move on?”
“I told you the other day that I have moved on. What didn’t you understand?”
The waiter asks if Cooper wants another Scotch and he orders me a martini and clenches his jaw.
“Don’t be quiet now, Carmen, you have gone out of the way to know where I am. So talk.”
“If you have moved on, why did you kiss me? We both know you felt something.”
He chuckles, “I kissed you out of pure boredom.” He is being an ass.
“Really, Cooper? You don’t have to be an asshole. I am trying and you aren’t. I know I fucked up and I have begged for your forgiveness. Hurting you was the biggest mistake of my life but you keep being heartless. If being with me isn’t what you want any more then honestly tell me.” God please let him just love me again.
“Carmen your actions have caused these consequences, you should have thought about this before you said unforgiveable things.”
I love him, but I am no one’s punching bag. Enough is enough.
Sighing and fighting back the tears I state “I am sorry things cannot be reconciled between us. I can’t keep doing this; you will always be the love of my life.”
The tears threaten to escape. Leaving my coat, I run out of the restaurant. Damn it’s cold but there is no way I am going to let him see me cry again. As I jump into my car, I can hear Cooper yelling my name. I slam the door and start the car. Since I am upset I double check the road before pulling off. All clear. I can’t wait to get home. I am freezing. Out of nowhere I see lights coming towards me. BANG! God it hurts so badly. Cooper is running towards me. I try to say his name, but nothing comes out. There is only pain, am I dying?
Cooper, my love. Then everything goes black.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Cooper
Oh my God, Carmen. “Someone call 9-11” I am screaming at the crowd. I reach Carmen’s car her eyes are weak. “Stay with me, baby. I love you.” She gives a blank stare and closes her eyes. “No.”
Following the ambulance to the hospital I call Marcia. She becomes hysterical as I tell her what’s going on. Giselle takes the phone from her and promises that they will call Carmen’s parents.
The Williams’ are such nice people and this is going to drive them crazy. They have already lost one daughter and now Carmen. No, I will not think that way. Carmen, my Carmen is a fighter. She will pull through she has too. Why was I such an ass to her? Yes she broke my heart, but all should have
been forgiven once she declared her love for me.
She poured her heart out on Christmas. The other day at the office we shared a kiss, that can’t be the last time we kiss. I couldn’t get over my hurt and she may be fighting for her life.
Waiting to hear something kills me. They will not give me any updates because I am not her husband. That will be changing real soon. Marcia runs into the ER, I wave her over. Her eyes are puffy and her hair is everywhere.
“Where is she?” she asks.
“I don’t know they won’t tell me anything.”
She frowns, “This is bullshit. I am going to get answers.”
Before she walks away I ask, “Did you call Christopher and Candace?”
“Yes, they are on their way. It was the worse call to have to make. Why did this happen? I can’t lose her.” She begins to cry and I embrace her.
Giselle approaches us. Marcia sees her and they hug.
Marcia says, “Now I need to get answers.” The two girls walk away holding hands.
Fifteen minutes later Marcia and Giselle are back.
“Cooper she isn’t in critical condition, but she is banged up real bad. When she wakes up she will be in pain. She has a concussion and two fractured ribs. Carmen should be able to go home in two days.”
A sense of peace fills me up.
“Thank God. Wait, how did you guys find this out?”
Giselle says, “When we put our minds together, nothing can stop us.”
Marcia says, “She loves you so much. She only wants you to forgive her.”
Looking Marcia in the eye, “I know and I love her too. I am going to spend the rest of my life proving that.”
They both say, “You better.”
The Williams’ arrive and they are told the good news. Christopher finds the doctor. Candace is crying tears of joy. “Cooper, thank you for being here. I am relieved that she will be okay. My heart couldn’t bear burying another daughter. She hugs me. “Things aren’t perfect in any relationship, but you always have to be willing to fight for the ones you love. Try to work things out because time is a precious gift,” she says. I tell her that I love Carmen and we will make things work.
Made to Love: Carmen and Cooper's Story Page 12