by A. C. Meyer
But during a romantic song everything changes. I feel that electricity again. Butterflies in my stomach. A cold shiver down my spine. I look around and see nothing. Lais is talking to some hot guy who is hitting on her. I keep dancing alone until I feel an arm around me and hear a husky voice in my ear.
I try to pull away but he won’t let me.
“Stay with me, Mari. I want to dance with you,” Cadu whispers in my ear and I can’t say no. I can’t speak, actually. I’ve gone mute and my legs feel like they’re made of Jell-O. If he let go of me, I’d fall down like a rag doll.
He keeps me close to him. He’s warm and even more muscular than I expected. He probably works out a lot to have a body like that and it suddenly makes me feel insecure. Feeling his hand on my waist isn’t cool. He will be able to feel all the fat I’d rather stay hidden. Shit.
I feel him sniffing my hair. He breathes deeply and pulls me closer. That’s when everything around us fades away and we’re the only ones left. He holds me with one arm and the other caresses my neck, my hair, and my face. The music goes on. Lais and that other guy are right beside us, kissing like nothing else matters, and I’m at a club dancing with my hot boss, unable to figure out what to do next. It changes everything, but even though it scares me, I just can’t help it. His touch is sweet, delicate, and warm. It’s like he’s trying to get to know every inch of me without being too invasive for a first date.
He turns me to him, holding my waist again. I can barely hear the music in the background. Then, he sings in my ear again. It’s a song about desire and unjustified and unexplainable feelings. It’s almost dedicated to me, like what we are experiencing here defies any explanation. I couldn’t give one if I tried.
His mouth explores my ear and down my neck. His touch is very gentle, but causes some of the strongest sensations I have ever felt. His mouth leaves a trail of soft kisses where his beard scratches me.
Hours pass by and I don’t even feel the time pass. When I realize how late it is, it’s only because Lais is calling me, telling it’s time to go.
“Babe, I’ll take you home,” the guy she was kissing tells her, but she shakes her head and smiles.
“There’s no need. It’s really far from where you’re going. Besides, I’ve already texted the taxi driver who’s coming to pick us up.”
They keep talking, and Cadu turns me back to him.
“Stay with me, Mari?” he asks, scaring the hell out of me.
“Stay with you? I don’t . . . I don’t usually . . .” I try to explain I’m not as easy as the women he usually dates, but he interrupts me.
“No, pretty. We won’t do anything but what we’ve been doing. I just want to have you in my arms a while longer. I’m not ready to let you leave.” His voice is even lower and he looks me in the eye, seeming anxious for my answer.
“But then . . . how will I get home . . .” I say, and he interrupts me again.
“I’ll drive you.”
“I live quite far, Cadu,” I explain, but he shakes his head.
“Not by car, you don’t. Even less if you’re on a motorcycle. Please?” he asks, and I can’t say no.
“Lais, you go ahead,” I say to my friend.
“OMG! What? Are you sure, honey?” she asks, surprised by my unexpected behavior.
“No . . . but I can’t refuse . . . I don’t even know why,” I say and she smiles. “I just need to be with him a little bit longer.” She looks at me looking surprised, then nods and hugs me.
“Call me if you need anything” she says to me and then says to him, “If I didn’t know she knows you, I’d never let her stay, but since you’ve known each other for a while . . .”
“Don’t worry. I’ll call.” We say goodbye and she leaves for the taxi with the guy, whose name I find out later is Rodrigo. I turn to Cadu, who is smiling, showing off his dimples. “What now? The bar is about to close,” I say, trying to figure out where he wants to take me at three in the morning.
“Are you hungry?” he asks and I smile in acknowledgement. He smiles back, pulls me into a tight hug, and says in my ear, “Come on. Let’s grab something to eat.” Holding my hand, he pulls me to the exit. I feel light by his side, as if I could fly.
This is definitely the most amazing moment I have ever had with someone in my entire life. Cadu makes me feel all these emotions, and I feel like I’d go anywhere with him if he asked.
Cadu
I’m an experienced man, I’ve dated actresses, models, successful businesswomen. But in all this time, none of them has made me feel like I do now with Mari. I may be repeating myself, but she is special. She’s sweet and fun, and I have never been with someone who treats me like she does, like I’m an ordinary guy.
Not that I’m a celebrity or anything. But most people are very careful around me because I’m the editor in chief of one of the best-selling magazines in the country. But not her. Mari treats me like she would treat any other guy.
We leave Barzinho holding hands. It’s a bit chilly now, since it’s the middle of the night, and I feel her shiver by my side. I pull her closer and keep her warm with my body. We walk to the parking lot holding each other and I curse at myself for deciding to come by motorcycle. Thank goodness we won’t be going very far.
We stop by my motorcycle and she gives it a frightened look. I expected a compliment but she surprises me once again.
“We’re riding this?” she asks, and I’m shocked when she calls my Harley a this.
“This is a Harley, and yes, we’re riding it,” I say, giving her the helmet. She looks from me to the helmet as if she has no idea what to do with it. “You wear this on your head, pretty,” I joke and pinch her nose.
She laughs and says, “I know, it’s just I’ve never worn one before. I don’t know how to put it on.” She lowers her eyes, her cheeks turning bright red, and I feel my heart tighten.
“Come here, I’ll help you,” I answer and she comes closer. I take the helmet from her and put it on her head, smiling all the while. When she’s ready, I wait for her to climb on the back of the motorcycle. I feel her soft hands on my waist and before I start it, I say, “You need to hold me closer or you’ll fall.” She comes a bit closer and I smile. “Closer, pretty. Hold me like I’m your teddy bear,” I joke, and she laughs.
“You’re too big for a teddy bear, and not nearly soft enough,” she snaps back, and I shiver when I feel her body glued to mine, holding me tight.
“I’m a muscular teddy bear,” I joke back and she laughs.
“That’s just it. I’d never own a muscular teddy bear,” she says, and this time I’m the one who laughs.
“And why is that?”
“Just look at me. I’m not exactly the definition of fitness, Cadu. I hate going to the gym,” she says, and I can sense a bit of insecurity in her comment.
“And you don’t have to. You’re beautiful just the way you are,” I say and hold her hand. I start the motorcycle and go to Leblon, to my second favorite place in the world.
My home.
We ride the motorcycle throughout Rodrigo de Freitas Lagoon, and though I love the wonderful view, all I can think about is the hot body I’m holding on to. I’m nervous and the butterflies in my stomach transform into a flock of crazy birds. I have no idea where he’s taking me but, like he said, I don’t feel ready to say goodbye to him either. While I feel the motorcycle buzzing under me, I think about how things are going to be from now on. I’m elated, but I’m also scared. He is my boss after all, and I have no idea how we’re going to do things from now on.
We drive until we reach Leblon. He parks in the garage of a fancy building near the beach. After he stops, we climb off the motorcycle and he helps me take off the helmet. While he puts it back on the motorcycle, I try to straighten my hair, which is probably a mess right now. I shiver nervously but when he turns around and looks
me in the eye, I’m lost. His gaze is intense. I’ve never seen anyone look at me like that. I feel like he’s trying to figure out all my secrets. His eyes wander to my mouth and when I think that he’s finally going to kiss me, he just licks his lips, smiles, and gives me his hand so I follow him. I’m confused, attracted, and bewitched. None of the other guys I’ve dated have acted like this around me, and I feel . . . seduced.
We hold hands and he takes me to the elevator, presses the button to the top floor, and turns to me. I smile and he smiles back. Pulling me closer, he rests his forehead against mine.
Breathing deep, he says, “Oh, Mari . . . what am I going to do with you?”
Before I can answer, the elevator opens its door and he holds it open so I can walk out. Then his hand is in mine again. We walk through a small corridor with only two doors, one on each end of it. We walk to one. He takes a keychain from his pocket and opens the door. Of course, I nearly faint when I see how breathtaking his apartment is. It’s so beautiful and so nicely decorated that I just stand near the entrance, fearing I’ll accidentally bump into something and break it. I’m as clumsy as a bull in a china shop.
He walks around the room and when he realizes I’m not following him, he turns around and gives me a funny look.
“Do you like it?” he asks, looking at me strangely. I’m confused as to what he means.
“Sure. It’s beautiful. I’m just . . .” I stop, not knowing how to say it.
“You’re just . . .” he urges, arching an eyebrow.
“I’m a little clumsy. I’m worried I may break something.”
His expression changes and he smiles, showing off his dimples.
Our Lady Protector of the endangered single women, help me not to fall for a man with dimples!
He walks to me, his smile wide and bright, and before I can say or think anything else, he takes me in his arms and lifts me as if I were weightless.
“Oh,” I whisper, still scared. He holds me against his chest, walks through a large corridor, and goes into the kitchen.
He puts me down carefully, then runs his hands up my arms and shoulders, and up until he reaches my face. Cadu never looks away, and when he caresses my face, he comes closer and kisses me softly on my forehead. My legs shake and the birds and butterflies in my stomach are at war, making me feel like I could faint at any second now. He slowly pulls away and smiles, then takes a deep breath again and walks to the refrigerator.
I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve never been like this around a woman before. All I want to do is to take care of her, touch her, smell her perfume. We haven’t even kissed, and yet I know that when we do, it will be unlike any other kiss because Mari is different. When she stood in the living room and looked around, I mistook her confusion for interest. I rarely bring anyone over unless I’m throwing a party or a gathering, but when it happens, women tend to look around the house and wonder how much things cost. I still feel like laughing when I remember her innocent confession that she was afraid she might break something. She’s lovely and so different from the women from my world. How come I never saw it before? How could I not see what has been literally in front of me the whole time?
I want her, but I’m scared at the same time. It’s not about sex, I know that now. And I know that falling in love with her would be easy, but the question is: am I really ready to fall in love?
I go to the fridge and get the ingredients to make an omelet, and when I turn around she is standing still, playing with her hands. We have barely talked, just stood there, feeling each other’s presence. It’s like words are unnecessary. But I know we need to talk, even if it’s just small talk. Damn! I feel like I’m fifteen all over again.
“Why don’t you put on some music to listen to while we eat, Mari?” I point to the stereo right behind her. I love music, and every room in the house has a stereo.
“Sure. Any suggestions?” she asks, smiling.
“No, you can choose. Do you like omelets?” I remember to ask.
“I love them.” Still smiling, she faces the stereo. I watch her take a look at the playlist until her smile widens.
“Find anything you like?” I ask. She hits play and music fills the room.
“Oh, Cadu, so much good stuff! I love all kinds of music. Pop, Brazilian music, rock,” she says, sitting on a stool at the island in the middle of the kitchen, while a romantic song comes out of the speakers. It talks about finding someone who can bring lost feelings back to life, even among so many people.
I try not to focus on the lyrics but they describe exactly how I feel right now. That brunette angel has completely bewitched me, and I need to cool off or I’ll end up proposing to Mariana before the night is over. Jesus! Where did that come from?
She continues making small talk, talking about the music she likes, and I follow her, trying to put some order to my messy thoughts. When the omelet is ready, I serve it with orange juice. I offer some bacon, but she refuses.
We talk while we eat and I ask more things about her, like what she likes and the places she likes to go to. It’s a relaxed conversation, and she tells me about her friendship with Lais—the girl who kissed Rodrigo earlier today—her love of music and the fun family get togethers she has. Mari is relaxed, funny, and clever. Out of the office, she is completely different from the competent and serious employee I know. She tells me a story about a friend’s dog that makes me laugh so hard it brings tears to my eyes.
“You are so different from my assistant Mariana,” I joke, and she blushes again. Seeing her face turning pink like that drives me crazy.
“Oh, Cadu . . . it’s my job. I know you need someone competent to help you out. I couldn’t possibly tell these stories to amuse people while I’m there,” she says and laughs, but her eyes seem a bit sad.
“What is it? You don’t like it there?” My stomach clenches at the possibility of her not liking working with me.
“No, that’s not it. I love my job. I learn a lot from you and I love what I do.”
“But . . .”
“No buts.” She smiles, trying to end the conversation.
“Say it, Mari.” I’m curious now, and worried. Could she be using me to get a promotion?
“I just have no reason to be nice to people there. I don’t know anybody that well,” she answers and smiles, but I feel like there’s more to it than what she’s saying.
“And why is that?”
“Um . . .” She thinks, then says, “Everyone there is so different from me. I talk to everyone and, don’t get me wrong, I . . . I’m just not sure I’m the type of person they’re used to having as a friend.” She smiles and I lose myself for a second. “But I don’t want to talk about work. I have a confidentiality contract signed by my boss, so I can’t say much about the company, I’m sorry,” she concludes, then smiles. I can’t help but laugh at her joke.
We stay there in the kitchen talking, laughing and playing while the music plays on. Our conversation is light and relaxed and Mari can talk about anything. Then she yawns and I check the clock. Wow! Five thirty in the morning!
“Come!” I jump off the stool and she gives me a sleepy and confused look. “I want to show you something.” Mari looks at the kitchen clock and starts to protest, but I stop her.
“Wow, Cadu! Five thirty! I have to go home!” I lift her in my arms again and she laughs.
“I’ll drive you later, but I need you to see something before you go.” She laughs harder and I take her to the back of the apartment, where my bedroom is. I open the door still carrying her and she looks straight to the large window.
“Wow, what a view!” she says, and I put her on the bed. I sit behind her and pull her against my chest, and we both watch the sun rising from the window. The view is really beautiful, with the Leblon beach down below. The sky is colorful and as amazing as an impressionist painting.
&
nbsp; I grab the stereo remote control and, just like I’d planned it, the perfect song starts playing. And then I decide to do what I’ve been wanting to do the whole evening.
Mari
Cadu leads me through a long hallway. He opens the door and we walk into what I presume is his room. Then I lay eyes on what must be the most beautiful view I’ve ever seen.
“Wow, what a view!” The sun is rising and the sky is filled with colors that indicate the dawn of a wonderful day. He puts me on the bed and pulls me into his arms while we watch that landscape that leaves me speechless. I’m exhausted due to the sleepless night but I wouldn’t change this for the world. He makes me feel protected and special. I really hope he’s not like this with every girl he meets . . .
I feel Cadu moving and he grabs a remote control. He turns the stereo on and the perfect song invades the room, creating a unique moment.
That vibe I feel whenever he touches me comes back full strength. He’s as breathless as I am. He turns me around and his eyes lock on mine. We’re quiet, but those expressive eyes tell me everything I need to know. He pulls me even closer, his chest touching mine. His hands hold my face and he comes near my neck, smelling my perfume. He’s not only beautiful and seductive. He’s the sexiest man I’ve ever been with. He provokes me and makes my body shake in response to him. If I was attracted to him before, he owns me completely now.
Cadu kisses my neck slowly, making a trail with his lips. I sigh and let out a low moan. Then he somehow makes me lose all track of myself, of limits and of shame. He bites my neck softly, sending goose bumps that go from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. That’s when I send all shame to hell and I push him to the bed, covering his lips with mine in a crazy kiss. We’re a mess of hands, lips, and tongues and all I can hear is our endless moaning. He holds my hair and kisses me deeply, pressing me harder against his body. When I let go of him, he flips us over and covers my body with his, leading the most wonderful kiss of my life. My mind screams, lock the door and throw away the key! I’m never letting him go!