“Why would she think that?” He was the kind of man who drove women crazy, the kind of man who could have anyone he wanted. He had good looks that would last into his sixties, a physique that would make him lean and strong until his final days. And he had a legacy that would live on long after he was gone, a brilliance that would still shine from the heavens.
“I told her I would never remarry.”
“Oh…” It was far too soon to think about those things, not when we’d just gotten together, but the idea of having an expiration date was painful…because I’d already fallen so hard.
“I told her that a while ago,” he whispered, like he could read my expression. “Before you.”
I tried not to look too relieved, but my expression probably betrayed me. My hand went to his chest. “So, it’s on the table? Someday?” I didn’t need wedding bells tomorrow. I didn’t need a family right away. I just need to know it was possible.
His hand moved to mine. “Yes.”
It had taken so long for us to get together that I had been afraid it would be another hurdle, that he was fine having a relationship, but marriage was off the table…because his last marriage was such a nightmare. My fears were assuaged, and now I felt relaxed again, like my life was really getting the happily ever after it deserved. I’d paid my dues, kissed a couple frogs, even married one…and now all that shit was over.
“You want to go on a hike tomorrow?”
The sexiest man in the world was beside me, half naked, his eyes on me. “I’d rather stay in bed all day, to be honest.” I didn’t mind taking the boat out to fish or taking a hike into the wilderness, especially when Derek was around. But now that this man was finally mine, there was only one thing I wanted to do.
He didn’t smile with his lips, but his eyes lightened noticeably. “I thought you might be sore.” He wasn’t a gynecologist, but a physician all the same, and he’d guessed correctly.
I was incredibly sore. I hadn’t been fucked like that…ever. “I don’t care.”
Nineteen
Deacon
My car dropped me off at the bar, and I walked inside, wearing a charcoal gray suit because I’d been in meetings all day. There were other men dressed similarly, but I always felt awkward wearing something sleek to a casual bar. Plus, it was just uncomfortable, especially in the summer heat.
“There he is.” Tucker was already there, and he raised his bottle in the air. “To the man who grew some balls.” He took a drink.
I sank into the chair, ordered my beer, and ignored what he said.
“So…” He leaned forward.
I took the beer from the waitress and brought it to my lips.
He waved his hand, like he was encouraging me to speak.
“You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”
“Nope.” He drank from his beer.
“Isn’t it weird since you dated her for a while?” I’d never really asked him. I’d just assumed it was okay since he encouraged me to be with Cleo.
He shrugged. “I’m not going to lie, I wanted to be the guy that ended up with her. But you guys make more sense than she and I ever did. Well, not exactly. Actually, I think she and I are practically the same person. But whatever the two of you have…she and I never could have had that.” He held his beer. “It’ll be a little weird for a while, but in time, we’ll forget about it. The important thing is, you guys are together.” He raised his beer to clink it against mine. “And that makes me really happy.”
I tapped my glass to his. “Thanks, Tucker.” I’d told him he could date Cleo, but it had bothered me the entire time. Now it was his turn to say it was okay…even if it bothered him. He could easily get angry with me for lying in the first place, or at least not realizing my feelings, but he didn’t. He’d invested a month in her…and that was my fault. “You’re being really understanding of the whole thing.”
He shrugged. “You’re my little brother. It’s impossible to be mad at you.”
“I don’t remember that being the case when we were young.”
He chuckled. “You were more annoying when we were young.”
I smiled slightly.
“For real, you and Cleo are great together. I’m glad it worked out…even if it took forever.”
“Thanks.”
He looked across the bar for a moment, letting the conversation settle before he turned back to me. “So…” He waggled his eyebrows.
“So?” My own eyebrows furrowed.
“How’s the sex?”
I dropped my gaze to the bottle. “Tucker.”
“Come on, we’re brothers.”
I shook my head.
“You know, Cleo and I never really did anything…except kiss a couple times…maybe some touching over the clothing…in case you didn’t know.”
I didn’t want to think about my brother kissing Cleo.
“Is she taking it slow with you too?”
She was just as eager to jump into bed as I was. Her response was a good memory, and it made my lip curl in a slight smile. I’d been a dick to her, but she forgave me instantly, took me to bed without a single reservation, let me come inside her without even asking for my paperwork.
Tucker smiled. “I see that grin.”
I drank from my beer to cover it.
“That’s a big fucking no.”
Tucker would figure out everything on his own or he would keep pestering me for answers, so I decided to fold and give him enough to fulfill his curiosity. “After the game, I went to her apartment to work things out… It happened then.”
“Damn. Definitely didn’t take it slow.” He chuckled and drank from his beer. “You were definitely the man she wanted…kinda romantic.”
I didn’t tell him she’d only dated him because I’d hurt her. That seemed cruel.
“You guys skip the condom too?”
“Tucker, come on.” I’d shared details of my sex life before, usually when he pestered me because I wasn’t vocal about my private life, but Cleo was different. And I felt like telling him anything was a violation of our connection, of our intimacy.
“I’m not asking how nice her tits are, man.”
“But you asked about her ass.”
“Well…” He shrugged. “Come on, that thing is—”
I stared at him.
“Sorry. Anyway, I’m not asking anything like that. This is guy talk, locker room talk, you know. I’m your brother. This is an important relationship to you. I guess I’ve never really felt like a part of your life in any other way since I’m incapable of understanding your research and I don’t live the billionaire lifestyle. But women, sex, relationships…that’s something I can be part of, that’s something I can relate to. Come on, who was the one who basically pushed you two together?”
I stared at him as I felt the condensation on my fingertips.
“She probably didn’t tell you this…but after we broke up, I went to her apartment and told her to be patient with you.”
My eyes narrowed on his face.
“We’d had that stupid conversation in the bar that pissed you off, when you said you would never do anything, regardless of how you felt about her. So, I told her about it, told her that it would be a bumpy road, but you did have feelings for her.”
Now I understood why she’d confronted me so unexpectedly.
“I’ve been cupid for the two of you, alright?”
“No…I didn’t know that.”
“So? Give me something.” He drank from his beer.
I was quiet for a long time, gathering my thoughts, trying to think of a way to describe my relationship with Cleo emotionally rather than physically.
Tucker continued to drink his beer, quiet.
“Cleo is the only person in the world who gets me. Or at least, the only one who’s tried. It’s always been easy with her. You know, the kind of relationship where you can say nothing for a really long time, and it doesn’t feel weird. Valerie used to get pissed off at me be
cause I didn’t communicate enough, dragged me to therapy because I needed to change, because I was the problem. Being with Cleo proves that I was never the problem, that even though she’s not like me, she accepts me exactly as I am. And that feels…” I couldn’t find the right words to describe it. “Indescribable.”
Tucker’s eyes softened.
“The emotional connection between us has always been there. When we first met, I was a dick to her—like I always am. But she saw the good in me when other people didn’t, and she tried to help me, because that’s the kind of person she is. She saw past all my problems and saw me for who I really was. I found myself staring at her because her beautiful face hypnotized all the neurons in my brain. I found myself missing her when I didn’t see her. I found myself…a best friend. It’s real, it’s true, it’s…rare.” I stared at the table. “I’ve always been attracted to her. I’ve always thought she was beautiful. But this was the only relationship I’ve ever had that’s evolved backward, where we got to know each other first before we slept together. I didn’t know what our physical relationship would be like, if it wouldn’t be as strong as our emotional connection.” I remembered our first kiss, the way it made me feel, the way it made me burn white-hot. “But it’s just as strong…”
When I was finished, Tucker smiled. “That’s beautiful, man.”
“Might be stronger, actually…” I’d wanted to be with her regardless of how the sex was. If she wasn’t a good lay, I wouldn’t have cared. I would have taught her how to be better. And if it never got better, that would have been okay too. Because our relationship fulfilled me so much that I didn’t want to be with anyone else. Even if the sex wasn’t exactly to my liking., it wouldn’t matter. But that wasn’t a problem for us. She loved to be on top of me, loved to rock her hips and grind in the sexiest ways. She loved to grab my ass and pull me deep inside, like she could never get enough of my dick, no matter how much I gave it to her. And when she was on her hands and knees, she arched her back so deep and bounced her ass back at me, shaking her cheeks in the sexiest way I’d ever seen.
She was the best lay I’d ever had. But I didn’t tell him that, of course.
He nodded. “That’s great. And Derek already loves her…it’s perfect.”
I’d never given it much thought before, because I didn’t intend to bring a woman into my life again. Cleo got to know Derek as my friend, and it was a happy coincidence. But she did have such a connection with my son that it was obvious she cared for him on her own, that it had nothing to do with her feelings for me. They spent a lot of time together on those long flights, coloring, talking. They just clicked. “It is perfect.”
“Mom is gonna be happy,” he said with a chuckle.
She would start planning the wedding now.
“How does Valerie feel about it?”
I wanted to picture a future where she wasn’t mentioned, where she was so far in the past that we simply forgot about her. But the truth was, as long as Derek was under eighteen, I would always have to deal with her. She would never go away. “About what?”
“You and Cleo.”
I released a heavy sigh.
“That doesn’t sound good…”
“Valerie is a bitch. I’ll just leave it at that.”
“Well, you can’t just leave it at that.”
“I guess Derek talks about Cleo a lot, and that pissed off Valerie and made her ask questions.”
“She’s worried Cleo might replace her as Derek’s mother.”
“No, she’s worried Cleo will replace her.” But yes, that would probably become a problem too. “She started asking me if I was sleeping with her…”
“Wow.”
“I said no and hung up.”
“You lied?” he asked in surprise.
“It was the truth at the time.”
“Ah…” He nodded slightly.
“She continues to control my life. She continues to keep her leash around my neck. Cleo is going to talk her into coming for a visit, to show how nice it would be to live close…and I have to lie about Cleo.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“At first, I said no. I’m not going to pretend that I’m not with the woman I’m crazy about. But Cleo…convinced me otherwise.”
“I mean, it makes sense. Bringing Valerie out here to see how hard up you are for another woman while her son thinks she’s a queen is not the best way to get her to upend her life and move all the way across the country. You already won the breakup, and you’d basically be rubbing it in her face.”
I stared at him blankly, not understanding the phrase.
Tucker picked up on the look. “You moved on quicker than she did. Not only did you move on, but you hit the jackpot with Cleo. It’s just going to make Valerie feel like shit. Most of the time, that feels good, posting pictures on social media to show how happy you are in the hope she’ll see it. But since you share Derek…you can’t really do that.”
No, she was too spiteful. “I’m not looking forward to it.”
“So, if you get her to move out here, that’ll continue to be your plan?” he asked incredulously.
“No. Fuck that. Once she’s settled, we won’t hide it anymore.”
“A move across the country is pretty far. She probably won’t leave again.”
“Hopefully.”
“She’ll like it here. It’s a big change, but Manhattan is a great place to settle. Everything’s always open, you meet interesting people constantly, the women are hot…”
“I don’t think that’ll appeal to her.”
“Well, there’s a ton of rich billionaires too.”
“Now that’s exactly what she’s looking for.” But I couldn’t imagine why she’d need any more money…after taking half of my bank account.
“Maybe Cleo could set her up with one of her clients. You’d be off the hook.”
I shook my head.
“Why not?”
“Because Valerie’s a bitch, and it would be a disservice to them to introduce them to her.”
“Oh, that makes sense.”
“She’ll have to find someone on her own, and I’m sure she will.”
“Since Cleo can’t date her clients, what are you going to do about that?”
I didn’t know she’d told him that. “I offered to move.”
“Man, that sucks.”
I shrugged. “She loves her job. I’m not going to ask her to give it up.”
“There’s no way for you to stay and keep seeing each other?” he asked. “Sign something?”
I shook my head. “She made it sound like it’s a fireable offense.”
“Geez…that’s strict.”
I thought it was harsh too, but it did make sense. If she was dating residents in the building, it would eventually create tension, and that might make owners leave. But since I was the only one and it was a long-term thing, I thought they should make an exception…especially since Cleo was so good at her job.
“When are you moving?”
“Not sure. It’s the beginning of our relationship and we’re pretty quiet about it, so there’s no rush right this second. People have no idea, and I don’t know how they would ever figure it out. I hardly see the other residents. I think most of the residences are second or third homes.”
“Yeah, you’re probably fine. Does she sleep over?”
“Yeah. She brings a change of clothes and leaves her stuff in my condo. I bring it to her whenever I go to her apartment.”
“Incognito…sexy.”
I didn’t feel like I was getting away with anything. My job wasn’t on the line. Hers was. “If anything ever happened, I would take care of her. Hire her as my personal assistant and pay for all her legal fees from the lawsuit that would be thrown at her. But I know she loves her job…and I can’t replace that.”
“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “That’s the one thing money can’t buy. But it also shows how she feels about you, if she’s willing to risk eve
rything.”
I’d just made dinner and sat at the table when she texted me. I’m coming up.
I moved back into the kitchen, grabbed another plate, and slid half my dinner onto the dish.
She walked inside a moment later, not knocking, just walking in like I asked her to. She carried her laptop and a folder of papers, like she was here for business instead of pleasure. “Hey.” She was in a tight black dress with short sleeves, rocking her pumps like it was no big deal.
I loved it when she wore black. “Hey.” I got to my feet and circled my arm around her waist, my hand gripping her lower back as I pulled her in for a kiss. My other arm wrapped completely around her shoulder while my hand slid into her hair, kissing her like it’d been weeks since I’d seen her rather than a day. But I loved kissing her, loved feeling those plump lips against mine.
Her arm moved around my neck, deepening the kiss, her lips slightly parted as she breathed into my mouth.
I rubbed her nose before I pulled away.
Her eyes were heavy, like my touch was enough to turn her mind into a blank slate. “I love that you never wear a shirt…” Her hand glided to the top of my abs and slowly stroked down, her fingers rising and falling over the grooves.
“Now I’ll never wear one again.” I turned back to the table and pulled out her chair.
She smiled before she took her seat. “This looks good.”
It was vegan tacos, with asparagus, mushrooms, limes, and lots of avocado.
“You don’t have to share your dinner with me, Deacon.”
“There’s more in the kitchen if I’m still hungry.”
She picked one up and ate it. “You’re sweet.”
Whenever I was around her, I wanted to make her life easier, wanted to take care of her the way she took care of me. I wasn’t a fan of her diet, judging by the wrappers that still popped up everywhere. I never said anything because that would make me look like a judgmental prick, so I kept my mouth shut.
“What did you want to show me?” I finished my tacos quickly, usually inhaling my food the second it was ready.
The Man Who Has No Heart (Soulless Book 2) Page 18