He didn’t respond right away, but he gazed at her, his blue eyes slowly moving over her features. She’d never been looked at quite like that. And then he said, “‘she knew I could not choose but gaze upon her face, and she forgave me that I gazed too fondly on her face’.”
She blinked and blinked again. “That was beautiful.”
“That’s by an Old Earth poet named Coleridge. Do you have a favorite poem in your book?”
“I’ll show you!” She dragged her satchel off the floor and started pulling out the contents. “I know it’s in here.” She laid her gloves and knife on the table.
“Here it is.”
“Do you always travel armed?”
“What? Oh, that. No, I needed it on the journey. Boy, was I glad when that was over!” It seems she was out of the drink. “Can I get another one of these? Or I’ll drink one of theirs since they’re too busy dancing.”
“I think you’ve had enough,” and he laughed. It was a gorgeous laugh.
“Your laugh is just as beautiful as you!” Something is not quite right. Did she just say that aloud? She looked at him and tried to focus. His eyes twinkled at her. Such blue, blue eyes. Like the mid-day sky.
“What was I looking for? Oh, right. My book. Here it is! I found it!”
He took the book gently from her hands. “Let me see. You’ve got this page marked.”
“Hmm. Oh, yes. I like that one especially.”
“A Browning poem. ‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, I love thee to the level of every day’s most quiet need, freely, purely, I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life’.”
“You should be a poet,” she murmured, leaning toward him. “You said it so perfectly.” She was tired. She laid her head on his shoulder. “You smell nice.”
She heard him laugh, but it seemed far away. Maybe she’d just rest a moment. She wasn’t certain, but she thought she heard him say, “be still, my heart.”
The next morning, she was fuzzy, but the memory of her poet warmed her. She couldn’t stop smiling.
Gem announced her to be a great embarrassment. “Who takes a nap in a club?” She sprawled on Amina’s bed, frowning. Sighing for about the hundredth time, she said, “I just can’t believe you.”
“Why? He was perfectly charming. And gorgeous. He knows poetry. How many men have you met who know poetry? The way he looked at me, it was so deep, like he could see straight through me. What if it’s real, and he could be special? He thought I was special.”
“You’ve been reading too much poetry.” Gem sat up suddenly. “That’s one thing that’s been bothering me. You’ve been walking around the campus buried in that poetry book, reading it in the garden where anyone can see you, and then some stranger happens to show up quoting all the nonsense. It’s suspicious.”
“Well, I liked him. I felt things looking into his eyes that I’ve never felt before.”
“You don’t know what you felt because you were halfway through your Twist. Be careful. Please.”
“I will. Besides, I may never see him again.”
“I don’t want you to be hurt.”
“You have an issue with men and trust.”
“That’s not what this is about.”
“Have you ever been hurt by someone?”
Gem shrugged. “I left it in the past. I won’t bring it into my present. In my culture, we don’t say aloud the name or history of anyone we want to forget. We erase them.”
“Except it does affect your present and your future if it colors your opinion of every man you meet, and you miss out on love.”
“We’ve got training, so let’s go. Just be cautious. Don’t be swept up by all the flowery words and brooding glances.”
When Amina got to the gymnasium, Captain Withes took her aside for their one-on-one training.
“Today, I’m going to help you mask your thoughts and emotions.”
“I’m definitely ready. Gem says I broadcast.”
He led her to some floor pillows in a quiet corner. “Sit here across from me.” They settled down cross-legged, and he sat close enough their knees touched. “Now, this may seem uncomfortable at first, but I want you to simply think as you normally would. I want you to think of a place or a person who is dear to you, and I’m going to simply listen. I won’t probe, but if you’re broadcasting too loudly, I’ll be able to pick up your thoughts.”
“That’s scary, someone being able to hear my private thoughts.”
“That’s the whole purpose of this exercise. It not only protects you personally, but it is vital for your GIPS training. We don’t want confidential information compromised. Ready?”
“Ready.” She closed her eyes and tried to relax. She opened her eyes and found him staring at her. Yikes. “I can’t relax with you staring at me.”
“Sorry. I’ll close my eyes. Try again.”
“I’m thinking of Aldernon.”
“Don’t tell me what you’re thinking of. Defeats the purpose.”
“Sorry.” Sigh. “Ok, I’m ready.”
“I’m seeing fields of red grass and yellow-weed. A horse in the field. Meg.”
“Great Gravity! I’m terrible at this!” She opened her eyes.
Captain Withes was smiling warmly, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “What you aren’t doing is shielding. I’ll show you what I mean. I need to hold your hands.”
He held out his hands, palm up. He had nicely shaped hands with long, slim fingers. She slid her hands palm down over top his. Tingles raced up her arms as his fingertips brushed the bottoms of her palms. Her breath hitched. She glanced up at him quickly, hoping he hadn’t noticed. His expression was neutral. Whew.
“Amina, I’m going to show you how to mask. I don’t want you to be frightened. Just relax and watch like you’re watching a holo-vid disc. I will send you your thoughts as I received them, the fields and your horse, Meg. But I will also show you how the mask looks in your thoughts.”
“I don’t understand.”
His hands squeezed hers gently. “I promise I won’t hurt you. Trust me.”
“I do trust you.”
“I’m beginning now.”
She felt pressure and then a presence in her mind. She gasped as images, her thoughts, appeared in her mind. The rolling fields. Meg’s tail swishing. It was as clear as if she were there. Homesickness welled up in her, and tears began to trace down her cheeks. She felt like she was holding back the thoughts, only allowing them to go so far. An invisible cord was tied to the images, holding them, controlling them. Then the pressure eased, and the presence was gone.
“Open your eyes.” Captain Withes said quietly.
She did and found herself gazing straight into his. His eyes held such warmth and tenderness. A breath shuddered from her. He reached out one hand and traced the tears on her cheeks. Her skin tingled everywhere he touched.
“I miss it sometimes so much that I ache with the missing.”
“I know.” He smiled a little crookedly. “I wish I didn’t have to put you through more, but now you need to try to mimic the cords.”
She took a deep breath. “Ok, I’m ready.”
He let her hand slip out of his. This time, she pictured Derick in her mind, his laughing face. She tried to picture the cords, tried to think of the image of Derick being held back.
“I see a man. He’s laughing. Derick.”
“Seriously?”
He laughed. “You did better. It took longer for your thoughts to become clear. We can try it without the cords. Can you handle another merge?”
The emotion after the last merge was so strong. But this was important, necessary. “I’m not giving up yet.”
“Ok, then once again.”
They reached for each other. She tried to steel herself against the sensations. He watched her this time, and she was unable to look away. His eyes held hers as his fingertips brushed her palms. How
was she ever going to get this right when she could barely focus over the sparks running through her? She closed her eyes.
He sent the thoughts to her with a veil blocking the outside edge. It was the opposite of the cords. Instead of holding the thoughts in, the veil blocked the thoughts from view. It felt different. The images of Derick were protected, treasured.
“Open your eyes.”
“I understand that one better. I think I’m getting this.”
“That’s good. Now it’s your turn. Think of something light and bright. Something that makes you happy. See if you can keep me out.”
She closed her eyes and thought of Miss Pringle and the yummy smells of the confectionary shop and the comfort she always felt there. He didn’t say a word. When she opened her eyes, he was staring at her again.
“Did you get any of that?” she asked him.
“Not a thing! You did it!” He beamed at her.
She laughed. “Finally.”
“This is where it’s tough. Think of something ugly. Think of something you don’t want to touch or a place you don’t want to go. The worst of the worst. The stronger the emotion, the harder to mask.” He took her shoulders in his hands like he did to make an important point. “I want to see you succeed. I’m just listening, not probing. Trust me.”
Her darkest, worst thoughts? Trust would have to run deep to open those to him, to risk him seeing those thoughts. Just the possibility of letting those thoughts out had them gnawing at the back of her mind. The emotion would ravage her. “I’m ready.”
She bowed her head, physically distancing herself. She thought of her father’s rage. The feelings that rage inflicted on her. The contortions of his face that terrified her and turned him into a monster. Her body shook with it. She veiled it as best she could. She tried valiantly to hide these thoughts. When she was spent, gasping, she looked at Captain Withes’ face and knew she failed.
He was white as if all the blood had drained from his face. His eyes were wild with pain. He shook with emotion. “Amina,” he ground out, his voice taut.
She reached for him to soothe him. She ran her hands over his shoulders, over the sides of his face. “I’m ok. It’s ok. It’s not real. Just thoughts. They can’t hurt me.”
He groaned and grabbed her waist, holding her still, his tortured gaze boring into hers. “I can’t send those images back to you. I can’t hurt you like that.”
“I’m ok,” she repeated. “You showed me the skill. I’ll do lots of practice with Gem.”
“For now, but I will have to test you.” He shuddered. “Your father better hope I never meet him. It’s inexcusable.”
“It wasn’t always that bad. He had moments of temper. I had other things, good things, that helped me.”
“You amaze me more every day.”
Surprised, her eyes flew up to his. The warmth she saw there reached deep into her belly, and she was suddenly very aware of her hands on his shoulders and his hands on her waist. She felt heat flush her skin. “I have World View next. If I don’t go now, I’ll be late.”
He grinned. “We wouldn’t want to upset Sheralyn. She might pop a hairpin.”
She laughed and appreciated his effort to get things on a more even keel. As she was leaving, she paused and turned back to look at him. They’d connected today. He’d been inside her mind, literally saw her darkest thoughts. She saw him wounded by her pain. It was heavy, and the emotion wasn’t easily shaken. The words by Browning came to her mind, “two hearts beating each to each”.
On her way to World View, she realized she didn’t have her poetry book and couldn’t remember when she had it last. Sheralyn would be livid! She raced back to her room, but it wasn’t there. It wasn’t in her satchel. Wait! That’s where she’d had it last, at The Shuttle. She must’ve left it there. She’d just have to be late. No way was she going without that book.
Chapter 5
Rushing into The Shuttle, she saw Reece sitting at the bar talking to another man.
“Reece,” she called. “Thank Gwana you’re here!”
“Good day, Sleeping Beauty!” He turned and nodded briefly to the man he’d been talking to. When the man stood, she had to crane her neck to look at him. He had a red dragon tattooed on his neck, and he glared at Amina as he ambled into the back of the club.
“I’m sorry if I’m interrupting, but I’m in a terrible hurry. Did you see my book after I left here last night?”
“Worry no more, I have it right here.” He pulled it out of his jacket. “I was hoping to return it would give me an excuse to see you again.”
She smiled shyly and glanced up at him through her lashes. “You don’t need an excuse.”
“That’s good because I can’t get you out of my mind. Where were you headed? May I walk you?”
“Yes. Just back over to the GIPS headquarters. I wanted to apologize for falling asleep last night. I hope I didn’t drool on your jacket.”
He laughed. “Not at all. It was a first. I think you may be the most unique woman I’ve ever met.” He reached out and gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
“Thank you.” Who cares if she’s late to class?
“So, tell me about your friends last night. I was so distracted by you, I’ve rudely forgotten them.”
“Gem and Katlin. We’re in the same squad. Gem is telepathic and Katlin is a linguist.”
“And you? Do you have an Ability as well?”
“I can levitate. Of course, there’s also Sari who can fly, and Mara is an empath. Our captain.”
He smiled into her eyes. “How long before you fly off to save the system and leave me to pine for you?”
“We’ve got a couple more months to go. We’re going to be learning stealth, self-defense, and survival in our next series of courses.”
“I hope you’ll see me again? I’ve found you, and I don’t ever want to let you go.” His gaze turned fierce, the blue of his eyes flashing. He stopped again and took both of her hands in his. “Barnes said it best, ‘the better that my longing you may know, the greatness of it throbs from sun to sun. Here within the sunlight beats my heart. I’m not asking you to finish, but – to start.’” He kissed the tops of her hands. “Amina, would you consider making a start with me?”
“How romantic you are. I would like that, to make a start with you.”
“Until I see you again, Sleeping Beauty.”
She floated into her class.
“Where have you been?” Sheralyn asked with a squinty look.
“I had to get my book. I’m sorry for being late.”
Gem eyed her. Mentally she asked, “what’s with the glow?”
“I saw him again. Reece. He returned my poetry book. He’s a dream.”
“You watch out. The thing about dreams is --”
“I know! They’re not real. But he’s just perfect for me Gem.”
Amina found it difficult to concentrate on her courses. Her head was full of Reece. She saw him three more times in the garden, and each time he quoted her a poem more romantic and emotional than the last.
Running to the garden, her heart leaped when she saw him waiting at their bench. He lit up and moved swiftly to meet her, holding her hands up to be kissed.
“Each day it seems longer before I get to see your beautiful face. How are you, Sleeping Beauty?”
“Breathless! I feared I would miss you. I had to run all the way. We’ve been so busy with our survival training. It is astounding what can be eaten in the wild. We’re learning what is edible in every climate, every planet. My head is so full I’m afraid it will burst!” She laughed with excitement.
“Have you seen your ship yet? Do you know which model it is?”
“No, actually. I know her name, Sunstar-3. And I know it’s one of the newest in the fleet.”
He tilted his head with a faraway look. “That is interesting.” Turning back to her he grinned. “I’m anxious to hear all about your flight simulations.”
&n
bsp; “I’m looking forward to that, but it’s more along Sari’s interests. She’ll be the pilot.”
He glanced up over her head, and she felt him stiffen, his hands tightening their hold. “We have an audience today. Who is that man standing by the fountain?”
“That’s my captain, Kindel Withes. The other girls call him Kindel, but I keep things more professional.”
He remained silent, watching Captain Withes with suddenly piercing, cold blue eyes. She studied him. This strange intensity transformed his beautiful face. He reminded her of a hawk, and she’d seen hawks dive on their prey. She shivered.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I’m jealous for the short time we have. I don’t want to share you with anyone. Why do you refuse to go out to The Shuttle with me? Or to an eatery in town?”
“It’s not a rejection, Reece, I promise you. We’re learning the waltz in World View. I’m completely exhausted by the end of the day.”
“I live for these moments with you in the sunlight, and you fill my dreams. Is it so difficult for you to make time for me?” His eyes flashed. He squeezed her hands until it hurt.
She tried to pull away. “You’re hurting me, Reece!”
He immediately released her, shut his eyes, and took a haggard breath. When his eyes opened, she saw remorse.
“You scared me.”
“Forgive me,” he whispered. “How true are Byron’s words, ‘there be none of Beauty’s daughters with a charm like thee, and like music on the waters is thy sweet voice to me; Oh, to adore thee with a full but soft emotion like the swell of the deep ocean.’ Please, say you’ll meet me tomorrow.”
“Yes.”
Late that night, she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t forget the coldness in his eyes. The fear even for a moment left her reeling. Every time her eyes drifted closed, she dreamt of a great hawk chasing her with talons outstretched and ice lightning shooting out of furious blue eyes. She had to face the doubts that niggled at her mind. It was time for her to use her head. What had Gem said? Don’t get swept up by the flowery words and brooding looks. She sat at her desk and used one of her holo-vid chips to record two columns: what she knew about Reece and what she didn’t.
Sunstar: Amina's story a YA scifi romance (Peacekeepers Book 1) Page 4