by Lucy Evanson
She nodded and turned to walk up the steps. After a word to the secretary at the big desk, she went upstairs and knocked before opening the door to Edward’s office and poking her head inside. He was hard at work, hunched over a ledger, but as soon as he looked up his studious expression was replaced with a broad smile.
“Darling!” His voice was warm and deep, and he came around his desk to greet her with a hug as she stepped into the office.
Wrapped in his arms, she felt safe again, as if the terrible events of the previous day were only an illusion that he could dispel with a simple touch. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest, taking a moment to savor his closeness. Everything’s going to be fine.
“What’s the matter, Katherine?” he asked. “You seem upset.”
She backed up a step and took a deep breath to compose herself. She still hadn’t found a way to talk easily about what had happened to Sam; even the thought of what he had gone through brought tears to her eyes. Just say it fast and plain, Katie. Get it out.
“Somebody attacked Sam while he was coming home yesterday,” she said. “They beat him and left him for dead,” she added, her voice hitching at the awful words.
“He died, then?” Carter asked.
“No, thank God he survived,” she said. “But barely. The Tiltons found him and brought him back to the farm, and we’ve been tending to him ever since. The doctor says he’s lucky to be alive.”
“Yes,” he said. “Very lucky.”
“Edward, it was a bunch of miners that attacked him. Do you know anything about that?”
“No. Why would I?”
“Well, it just seems to me that there must have been some reason behind it,” Kate said. “I mean, people don’t just go around trying to kill each other like that, and I thought you might have heard something.”
Carter looked down at his desk and shuffled some of the papers that lay there. “Nope. Not a thing.”
Kate lowered her head, searching to meet his eyes with hers. “Honestly? Because for the life of me, I can’t imagine why anybody would want to hurt him.”
Carter snorted. “There are always reasons why some men attract trouble,” he said. “Who knows what he might have gotten himself into? You said he was coming in from town, right? Could be that he lost money gambling, or maybe he had an argument in the saloon.”
“That doesn’t seem like Sam,” Kate said, shaking her head.
“Well, perhaps he got a little too interested in somebody else’s woman,” Carter said. “That’s probably the reason right there. Some men just never learn to respect boundaries.” He looked up from his paperwork and stared at her. His gaze, which had warmed Kate so often in the past, now seemed to stab at her like a cold wind.
Sam likes you, Becky had told her. Kate felt as if the floor was giving way beneath her. Am I the reason Sam was beaten within an inch of his life? It was like a great crack had suddenly appeared in the bond that she shared with Edward. Or at least, the bond that she had thought they shared.
“Edward, what are you saying?”
“I’m not saying anything. It’s just that trouble comes to a man who can’t keep his hands off other people’s property.”
“Is this about me? Did you do this to him?”
“Now, what reason would I have to do something like that?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” she said. “You were upset about what happened the other night when Sam…when he rescued me.”
“I wasn’t upset that he rescued you,” he said. “Don’t be silly. I just didn’t like his behavior afterwards.”
“Are you responsible for what happened to him?”
“Of course not. I would never dirty my hands that way,” he said.
“But did you have it done? Were those your men?”
His eyes, which had once reminded her of the lush green of the fields, now were like pebbles of jade, hard and cold. “I had nothing to do with it,” he said flatly, his jaw clenched. “But things like that don’t happen by accident. I’m sure that boy got what was coming to him. And if he’s smart he’ll get the message.”
“Edward, you’re frightening me.”
“You have nothing to be afraid of,” he said. “But I’m through talking about him. He shouldn’t be bothering us anymore.”
Kate picked up her purse and turned for the office door.
“Where are you going?”
“Home. Where else?”
“You’re just going to leave now?”
“Somebody has to look after Sam,” she said.
Carter’s eyes flashed with a fury that Kate had never seen, not in him nor in any other man. “You’re going to tend to that half-breed when we’ve just been going round and round about him?! Are you out of your mind?” he shouted.
Kate could feel her heart pounding as if it would burst through her chest, and she fought to tamp down both her fright and anger. “Edward, you have no right to speak to me like that,” she said, the tremor in her voice only hinting at the emotion boiling within her.
“I have every right! You’re my wife!”
“Not yet I’m not,” she said. “And after today I’m not sure that I’ll ever be.” Kate dug deep within and found the strength to turn and walk out without a glance back at Edward, who remained behind his desk shaking with anger.
“You stay away from him!” she heard him shout. “I’m warning you! I’m warning both of you!”
She quickly went down the stairs, ignoring the stare of the secretary and nearly running out into the street to where her brother waited with the carriage.
“That was fast,” Jake said, hopping down and hurrying over to her side to help her up. “Is he going to be able to find the guys who did it?”
Tears leaped into her eyes, and as Kate got settled she pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve. Deep breath, now. For some reason a memory of her mother flew into her mind and Kate clearly remembered being a young child, so upset about some now-forgotten incident that she could hardly speak. Her mother had crouched in front of her, gently stroked her cheek, and told her that if she slowly counted to ten in her mind, she’d be able to explain what had happened. Sure enough, it had worked like a charm. Kate closed her eyes and slowly counted, and when she reached ten she had calmed down considerably.
“Edward won’t be able to help,” she said, wiping her eyes. She threw a glance toward the front door, which remained closed. For now. “Let’s go home, Jake.”
He reached over and patted her on the arm. “Don’t worry,” he said. “We’ll find out who did this. Just like Dad said, justice will be served, either in this life or the next. You’ve got to believe that.”
As the carriage began moving, she couldn’t help glancing behind at the office doors, as if Edward were about to burst forth like a wild animal giving chase. For a moment she thought that she could see him silhouetted at the window upstairs, but then the figure disappeared. She turned back toward the front and settled in for the ride home, lost in thought and not saying a word until they arrived.
After Jake helped her down from the carriage, she went inside and had Mary pack a lunch basket.
“Has anybody been up to see him lately?”
“Becky was just up there again about an hour ago,” Mary said as she closed the basket and handed it to Kate. “He said he was going to take a nap.”
“Well, if anybody needs rest, it’s him,” she said. She made her way back up the hill and tried to open the door to the cabin as quietly as possible, but the creak of the wood split open the silence. As she stepped inside, Sam rolled over to look at her.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, only briefly glancing at him before her gaze fell to the floor.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” he said. “I’m sore as hell. Pardon my language.”
Kate smiled weakly at him. “I brought you some food,” she said, moving to the table and beginning to unpack the basket. “Are you hungry?”
“
Yeah, I guess I could eat a little something.”
Kate unwrapped a piece of fried chicken and a thick slice of bread, still warm from the oven. She went to Sam, who sat up in bed and took the plate from her.
“Sorry to eat in front of you like this,” he said. “You should have brought something for yourself and we could have had lunch together.”
“Don’t worry about that,” she said. “With so much going on I surely couldn’t eat a thing. But don’t mind me. You need to keep your strength up.”
Sam nodded and started to eat; if an appetite was a sign of improving health, then Kate could see that he was on the mend. She went to the table and sat down while he ate; she didn’t want to make it seem like she was watching his every move, but she couldn’t keep herself from staring at him as he wolfed down his lunch.
Her conversation with Edward had chilled her to the bone, and in spite of the day’s warmth, she felt a chill. It was like she had a black cloud hovering over her, about to burst forth with a hellish storm at any moment, and with every passing minute she found it harder and harder to contain.
“Kate, what’s wrong?”
She glanced up. She had become lost in thought, and the look on her face must have given her away, she realized. Sam’s plate now held only chicken bones and bread crumbs, and she could see the concern on his face. As if he had nothing to worry about himself; now he’s worried about me.
“Sam, I feel absolutely horrible about this, but it’s burning me up inside,” she said as she stood up. “Ever since I found out, it’s been torturing me. I have to tell you something. Something awful.”
He rose up on one elbow, a small grimace twisting his mouth as he did so. “What is it?”
“I think I know who attacked you,” she said. “Or, at least, I know who put those men up to it.”
“It was your fiancé,” Sam said.
Kate’s jaw dropped. “You knew? I mean, Edward denied it, but when I spoke to him this morning, I just got the most dreadful feeling that he knew all about it. That he was behind it, even.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was Carter,” he said.
“But why would he do that? Have you two had bad blood between you?”
Sam smiled and eased himself back down to the pillow. “We had a little argument the other day,” he said. “He didn’t send those guys because of that, but it probably didn’t help.”
“What were you arguing about?”
Sam’s warm eyes met hers. “He thinks I’m trying to steal you away.”
Kate felt herself instantly grow warm, and she had to draw her gaze away. “Edward never mentioned that to me,” she said quietly.
“I’m sure he didn’t,” Sam said flatly. “He probably didn’t want to put any ideas in your head. But that’s why he sent those guys after me.”
“Sam, if you thought Edward was behind this, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say anything?”
He looked at her a long time before speaking. “Kate, this may be difficult to understand,” he said. “But I couldn’t just run to you and tattle on him, like some schoolboy who got his book stolen. This is something between him and me, man to man.”
“Well, not anymore,” she said. “I’m going to put a stop to this if it means I have to go talk to the sheriff.”
“Kate, I understand what you’re saying, and I know it must seem crazy,” he said. “But this is something I have to handle on my own.”
She leaped to her feet. “You men are so frustrating! You could have been killed out there!” Kate spun on her heel and began to pace back and forth. “And even after that you’re still saying you have to go it alone. Don’t you know you’re not alone?”
Sam stared at the floor. “Kate, I appreciate that. I don’t think you know how much it means to hear that,” he said. “But your fiancé is a coward. And cowards can be very dangerous sometimes. For your own sake, I don’t want you to get involved.”
“I’m already involved! And he’s not my fiancé anymore,” she blurted. The words surprised even her, although Sam was the one whose eyes widened. She let herself fall into the chair and dropped her face into her hands. Her mind was spinning. All the emotions that she’d felt in the last few days were churning inside her like a pot about to boil over. She’d been terrified both by the men in the alley and by Edward in his office this morning. She had fought off her fear only to have it replaced by the dread of what might have been, as she imagined Sam lying bleeding and broken out on the roadside. She had been humiliated by Edward speaking to her as he had this morning, and was embarrassed that she’d ever seen him as her future husband. Now, sitting across from the one man who had done so much for her—and whom she had treated badly on more than one occasion—Kate realized that it was true. She could never marry Edward now. It was over.
“He’s not my fiancé,” she repeated, as if to herself.
“What are you saying?” Sam asked. “You’re not going to marry Carter?” His voice was thin and quiet, as if he were almost afraid to voice his thoughts.
Kate took in a deep breath and let it all out slowly, like somebody who was admitting a great personal defeat. “No, I guess I’m not,” she said. Her chin dropped to her chest and she covered her eyes with her hand. “How humiliating. I’ve been so naïve.”
“Kate, everybody makes mistakes,” he said. “Some get engaged to the wrong man. Other people choose bad names for cows.”
A little laugh jumped out of her throat. “Well, I guess that’s true,” she said. “The more I think about it, I would have truly regretted marrying Edward, sooner or later.”
“Well, maybe not. You could have had a nice life,” Sam said. “He’s rich. He’s got his own business.”
“I don’t care about any of that,” she said. “Leave it to me to pick the wrong man first before I find out what I really wanted,” she said.
“Well, at least you found out before the wedding.”
A grim smile drew itself across her lips. “I guess I got lucky.”
“So what kind of man do you really want, then?”
“I want a man who I can rely on,” she said. “A man who will watch out for me. A man who will…who’ll be there for me when I need him,” she said, her voice dying at the end as her gaze slipped back to Sam’s face. I’ve been such a fool, she thought. All this time, have I been looking for what was right in front of me?
She pulled the chair over to the side of the bed and sat down. Sam smiled at her and his eyes glittered like black diamonds, throwing sparks of light toward her. Neither found the need to talk as they simply sat with one another.
With an effort she pulled her eyes from his and let her gaze drift over his face. Sam bore the scratches and bruises of a man who had been put through hell, though his soft smile showed no sign that he was in any distress whatsoever. He hasn’t complained, hasn’t snapped, hasn’t said one cross word. It’s like it meant nothing at all. How could he be so strong?
She felt the urge to lay her hand upon his cheek and had to restrain herself from stroking the side of his face. But why not? What’s stopping me now? Whether for good or for ill, there was no reason to hold back the feelings that she found building up inside her. She was a free woman again.
“My poor Sam,” she said, and she laid her hand against his cheek. Now he let out a sigh, as if in pain; his eyes closed and he swallowed hard. She could hear his breath quicken and was about to draw back her hand when he raised his own and placed it over hers. His touch was warm and soft, yet full of the strength that she had wondered at earlier.
Sam drew her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers, her palm, her wrist. Kate felt the blood racing in her veins as his lips trailed over her skin, and her own breath grew quick. He opened his eyes and his gaze pierced her like a spear that touched her very core; she felt as if she should look away, as if it were forbidden to watch him while his lips danced over her flesh. She looked down and felt him squeeze her wrist gently, pressing it against his mouth.
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“Look at me,” he said. “I want to see those beautiful eyes of yours.”
“Sam, I can’t,” she whispered. “When you look at me like that, it’s like you’re seeing everything I have, everything I am.”
“And what if I want everything you have?”
She returned her gaze to his.
“Do you?”
He reached up and grazed the side of her face, letting his hand slip down the side of her neck. His skin was rough and warm, and Kate trembled at his touch.
“It’s okay,” he said quietly. He pulled her close until she could feel his warm breath against her skin. His lips brushed against her. “After all this time…for so long I’ve wanted to tell you,” he murmured, his mouth close to her ear. He kissed her cheek softly, and she trembled.
“What are you saying?” she whispered.
He kissed her again, just below the ear. “I want all of you,” he said quietly, his mouth close and his breath warm. “Don’t you know? Haven’t you always known?”
Her eyes closed as his mouth dropped down and he began to leave a trail of kisses over her throat.
“Tell me,” she said. “I want to hear it.”
“You’re the only girl for me,” he said. “You’ve always been the one for me. I knew that from the minute I first met you.” He took her by the shoulders and backed her away slightly so that he could see her face. His eyes, glittering like gems, bore into her again with an intensity both terrifying and thrilling at the same time.
It was as if she had forgotten how to breathe. She almost felt dizzy as the air raced in and out of her lungs, and she brought one hand to her chest to soothe the heart that was pounding so strongly.
“Do you really mean that?”
“I once thought that I would make something of myself all alone, because that’s what I was. All alone. And then when I met you, I thought…maybe I won’t have to be alone anymore.” His voice strained as he finished the sentence, and as he swallowed hard, she squeezed his hand. “You see that book over there?” he asked, nodding toward the leather-bound journal on the table. “That was my five-year plan.”