by Lois Greiman
Despite the pain obviously caused by the movement, his gaze turned abruptly to hers. "Do you care, Charm?" he asked softly.
Breath jammed in her throat, but fear was suspiciously absent. "What did you say before?" she whispered. "Back by the fire. What did you say?"
The whole world seemed to have gone silent as they stared at each other, but suddenly Raven turned his attention abruptly away. "Don't you have somewhere to go, Bodine?" he asked stonily. "Somebody's grandmother to swindle, maybe?"
"Matter a fact I... don't." Clancy shrugged with a grin. "Guess I'll just stick with you kids."
For a moment, Charm thought Raven would say more, but he turned stiffly to hobble up the steps toward the door.
"How are you feeling?"
Charm stood beside Raven's bed. Beside her, to Raven's grinding irritation, was Clancy, looking freshly washed and characteristically handsome.
How did Raven feel? Like an overblown idiot. His leg was stiff with swelling and pain, and his head ached as if a Sioux raiding party were bolstering their courage there with fire water and war drums. "Fine," he lied. He thought he did it quite well, considering his exhaustion and his irritation over his companions' long absence. Not that he hadn't wanted them gone. Charm did need clothing, but the idea of Clancy accompanying her on a buying spree somehow set his teeth on edge, regardless of the good that would come of it.
Raven did his best to concentrate on his mission. He'd sent a telegraph to River Bluffs, estimating their arrival time as best he could, and he'd purchased two tickets for the Yankee Belle. It would leave early next morning, and he had more plans to make, but his thoughts were confused by the sight of Charm in a newly purchased gown. It was pale green, like the color of aspen leaves in the early spring. It fit snugly across her breasts and abdomen before flaring away from her hips. A less disciplined man might imagine Clancy watching her as she turned for his approval. "I hope shopping was to your satisfaction, Charm."
She bit her inner lip. "You were more than generous."
"I think a bride at least deserves a decent trousseau." God, she was beautiful, standing there very still, her small face solemn.
"Damn right," Clancy said, breaking the mood with his usual aplomb. "I tried to talk her into buying this little lavender gown, but seems yer bride's too modest. Fit her like a glove." He shook his head with a grin, as if just the thought made him happy.
Raven clamped his teeth, and decided to wait to kill him.
"Cut down to..." Clancy raised his hand to his own chest to indicate the low decollete, then broadened his grin and shrugged. "Anyhow, it looked damned good. But she didn't want to spend any more of your money." He chuckled. "Lucky fer you, I'm the kind of pal I am, Joseph, and knew when t' spend it." He lifted the bundles wrapped in brown paper then shook his head again, looking perplexed. 'Told her you was flush." He turned his charming grin to the girl. "He's not much of a detective, though I did my best t'teach him. But he's got him some luck with the cards. Ever seen him gamble, Miss Charm?"
Her face looked strained as she watched him, Raven noticed, and felt his gut tighten. If Bodine had touched her, he'd take him apart piece by piece and enjoy every minute. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to ask Clancy to accompany her during shopping, but he'd needed his old partner well out of the way to achieve his ends.
"Are you all right, Charm?" Raven asked.
"Yes." Her eyes were a cool green this evening and very wide. He could easily fall into those eyes and found, not for the first time that he wanted to. Wanted to let go of all the restraint he had maintained for so long.
There was tension in her tone, and distance in her manner. It shouldn't bother him, but somehow the world seemed cold and rather empty when she held herself apart from him. "Scared?" he asked softly.
For a moment he was certain she would deny her feelings, but she drew a soft breath through her strawberry lips and graced him with the suggestion of a self-effacing smile. "Yes."
For a moment nothing ached but his heart. Truth and a smile, from a woman who shared little of either.
"I won't let anything happen to you." His own words were very quiet, and seemed foolish, since she was, after all, the one who had saved him. "I'm sorry we'll have to stay here. The doctor thought traveling would be a bad bet in my present condition."
"I don't mind," she said, looking younger than he knew her to be.
The room was very quiet for a moment—then, "She's too good for you, Joseph."
"Go away, Bodine."
"Oh! Almost forgot. Got something for you too." From the bundle of packages, Clancy selected one flat parcel and tossed it to the bed. "Can't hardly go runnin' round with your... leg hangin' out." He laughed.
"Don't think I'll be running for a while." Raven turned his gaze languidly to Clancy's. "But I suppose some thanks are in order."
"Never mind," Bodine said, laughing again, "since it was your money. So, what should we do now? Hey, how about a little game of chance? Just the three of us. Five-card stud?"
"Bodine."
"Yeah?"
"Get the hell lost," Raven said flatly.
"I'm not askin' to share your bed, Joseph, just her company, and only for a while. Is that so much to ask from yer best friend?"
"Remind me to expand my circle of acquaintances."
Clancy chuckled. "What do you think, Miss Charm, a little poker?"
"I'm... I'm afraid I'm quite tired." She looked nervous and had erected that careful wall she could put up so efficiently.
The room seemed suddenly very still, as though she had said something so scandalous that it shocked them all speechless.
Clancy whistled low. "Lucky man. Well..." He tossed the remainder of the packages to the bed. "I guess it's good night, then."
Surprisingly, he actually exited without any further ado, splashing the room into absolute silence again.
The two stared at each other. Charm blinked. Raven cleared his throat. "He didn't touch you?"
"No!" She said the word very quickly and raised her gaze abruptly to his. Raven felt the contact as a sharp jab to his heart. "No," she said, more slowly now. "He was a perfect gentleman."
Jealousy was an ugly emotion and very bitter. "Let's just say... gentleman," Raven corrected, taking a deep breath and keeping his tone even. "The word 'perfect' makes it all a bit unbelievable."
She smiled. And here he'd thought the sun had already set. But no, the room seemed suddenly filled with light.
"Clancy's not as frightening as I thought."
I love you. The words almost escaped him, but he held them back, knowing better. Love was a strangling bond and rarely returned. He knew that well, had learned it at his mother's expense. "Actually, he is."
She drew a soft breath between her perfectly white teeth. He watched the inhalation, knowing it shouldn't be fascinating. "What?"
Raven scrambled to remember his line of thought. "I said, actually Clancy is that frightening. Don't trust him."
She stared at him for a moment then shrugged lightly, lifting one shoulder in a delicate expression. "He cares about you in a way."
"Really? What way might that be? The kind that gets me hanged?"
She laughed again and took a step forward. What the hell was he supposed to do now, with the pain spreading upward from his leg and downward from his heart to converge at his groin in a cacophony of agony? Don't come any closer, he wanted to warn, because he couldn't be responsible for his actions if she came within reach.
"You know..." She was standing at the edge of the bed. His bed. Raven could feel himself begin to sweat. "All my life I've been warned that men want only one thing."
There was, it seemed, just enough room for her to settle her hips lightly beside his on the straw tick. Good God!
"I think Jude was wrong all along," she murmured.
"About what?" To Raven's ears, his tone sounded rather strange. Tight somehow.
"About men. I think he was wrong." She reached out, touching his stu
bbled cheek. Despite what he'd said to Clancy, despite his own admission that he was only accompanying her for the money, she believed he wanted more. Needed more. Needed her. Or did she only want to believe? "I think... I think I can trust you."
"With what?" Raven asked breathlessly.
With my heart, Charm thought, but habit and caution kept her from saying it. She took a deep breath. "I know it's not... I know it's not a real marriage." She scowled and looked away, unable to hold his gaze.
He said nothing, and she felt her tension increase. With all her heart she wished he would deny her words, say she was wrong. Their union was real. Very real. The kind that held two people together for eternity. The kind a woman could depend on, to protect her, to cherish her, to allow her to cherish in return. The silence was sickening. All certainty fled. He didn't care for her, never had. "I'm sorry about everything," she whispered. "I didn't want to trick you into marrying me. I was just..." Why didn't he say something? Why did her chest feel so tight? She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, then pursed her lips and set her resolve. She was being an idiot. Obviously he didn't share her feelings and resented being trapped here with her. Jude had been right; women were fools when it came to men. Charm straightened her back. "We'll have the marriage annulled."
Raven tightened his fists. "It... can wait."
She swallowed, wishing she was a thousand miles away and that she'd never met this man. "I think it would be best to take care of it right away."
"Traveling might be safer for you as a married woman," Raven said. "And more respectable, of course. No one need know that we don't..."
His words stopped abruptly. She waited, holding her breath, feeling frozen with fear. "Don't what?" She couldn't stop the whispered question.
"Don't share a bed," he answered huskily.
"But there's only one." She watched his nostrils flare and his fists tighten. What did it mean?
"Neither of us wanted this marriage, Charm. There's no reason to pretend otherwise."
Never had she experienced pain quite like what she felt now. It reverberated from her heart, hindering her every breath. What a fool she was. "No. Of course not. I was simply afraid Jude would shoot you."
His nostrils were still flared, though his fists had loosened a smidgen. "I appreciate what you did, but there's no reason we should both suffer the rest of our lives because of Jude's irrationality."
Suffer the rest of their lives! "No. Of course not." She turned away, hoping to reach the door before she fell apart. "I'll look immediately into getting it annulled."
"Charm!" His hand caught hers suddenly. "Not tonight!"
Did she imagine the sharp edge to his words? And if she didn't—what did it mean?
"Please." He loosened his grip abruptly, as if feeling foolish for his act of drama. "Don't bother. Not tonight."
There was something in his tone, something, but she didn't know what.
He dropped his hand away as suddenly as he'd grabbed her. "If you're afraid that I'll... that I'll take advantage of the situation..."
"No." No, she certainly didn't think that. After all, he had fought to keep from being bound to her. There was no reason to think he would allow himself to be trapped now.
"Then why not rest tonight?" His fingers had curled against his palm, not quite forming a fist, but almost. "You must be tired."
"Yes. I am." Exhausted. Tired enough to die. To want to die. To wish she'd never been.
"Why not lie down, Charm? I won't... I won't touch you."
"No." She turned away from the bed. "I'm sure you won't. I just think it would be best to resolve this... situation immediately." She was almost to the door, had almost forced her legs to carry her that far.
"Charm!" His voice was strangely husky, and she turned, locking her gaze on his face. It was shadowed by dusk and whiskers, making his thoughts unreadable. "Please. Not tonight. We've shared a bed before, with no harm to anyone."
She hesitated, trying not to fall under his dark spell. How could he know the harm he had caused her? How could he know she had almost learned to trust, only to find that trust led to a pain she'd never anticipated? But he'd never said he wanted to marry her. Indeed, he'd always been honest in his wish to be rid of her.
"Just tonight." His voice was not demanding, not frightening.
She tried to reach for the door, but her fingers refused to move to the handle. "I suppose I shouldn't leave you alone," she whispered.
"No."
She glanced at the floor and then toward the portal she had almost reached. "I can... I can nullify the marriage tomorrow."
He said nothing, but she could feel his tension, and she drew in a shaky breath, wondering how to hold back the tears. Wondering why they were there, behind her lids, filling her head.
"Charm, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Her answer hadn't sounded quite right. She cleared her throat. "Just tired."
"Come and lie down."
She hesitated for several moments, torn between the desire to run away and another desire, something stronger, something unthinkable. "Perhaps I should sleep in the chair."
"You mean snatch."
"What?"
"You don't sleep, remember?"
"Oh." She felt worn and frazzled, weary beyond the boundaries of her body, and without thinking, she could remember how his hands felt against her flesh. How they had soothed the ache from her muscles and lulled her into blissful sleep. "Yes."
"So couldn't you risk not sleeping in bed, since you'll be able to keep an eye on me all night?"
She opened her mouth to object, but he hurried to override her words. "I'm hurt, Charm. What could I do?"
He'd confused the issue. The question was no longer what he would do, but what she would do. She finally lay down without a word. The room was quite dark now, the ceiling blank and white.
"I thought you trusted me."
She didn't look at him. All the reasons someone might try to hang him were rushing ruthlessly back into her mind. "What do you mean?"
"You didn't take off your shoes. Planning on a speedy retreat?"
She squeezed her eyes closed. "Leave it alone, Raven."
"Raven again." Silence followed. "Charm?"
She couldn't answer, and fought back the humiliating agony of tears.
"Charm." He was closer suddenly. "What is it? Have I done something wrong?" Damn! She was crying. "Charm."
She felt his breath against her cheek, and there was nothing she could do but turn into his arms.
"You're crying," he said, sounding shocked.
She tried to bury her face against his neck, but he held her back and brushed his fingertips across her cheek. The wetness smeared warm and salty to her lips. His fingers skimmed across them, and she shivered with feelings so deep they nagged at her soul. She must run away, she must! For now he would learn the truth. She'd committed the unforgivable sin. She'd fallen in love.
"Why?" he whispered. "Why are you crying? Please." The single word was little more than a warm breath against her face. The kiss, feather soft, felt no more substantial. "Don't cry." He kissed her again, beside her mouth. "Tell me what I did." His voice was husky, and he kissed her eyelid now, which was wet. "I'll undo it, Charm. I swear I will."
Never had she felt anything that ripped at her soul like the feel of his kisses against her love-starved skin. She couldn't move away, though she knew she should.
He kissed the bridge of her nose, where a tear had made an erratic escape. "What have I done, Charm?" His question sounded anguished.
"Nothing."
He kissed the corner of her mouth again, but suddenly he stiffened. "Clancy, damn his hide! What'd he do?"
She failed to immediately follow his line of thought.
Raven jerked away, rage possessing him. "I'll kill him!"
"No." She reached for him in desperation. "Clancy didn't do anything," she whispered and leaning forward, kissed his lips.
It was a magic never before exper
ienced by either of them. It seared them like lightning, burning their flesh, confusing their thoughts, and suddenly they were clasped together in each other's tight embrace, feeling the heat and raw energy sizzle around and through them. Their tongues met, clashing in a gentle joust of sensation. Raven pulled his mouth away but only for a moment, and now his kisses rained across her cheek to find her ear. Charm shivered, feeling the tingling trail of his caresses curve across her ear in tiny nibbles of desire.
She was breathing hard. Her eyes were closed and her back arched. Every nerve was vibrating for his attention, and now his kisses fell lower, down the length of her throat to her collarbone. She shivered again, and when his lips reached the tiny hollow in her throat, she gasped. His fingers touched the buttons at the back of her gown, peeling it open. His lips left her flesh.
"No," she moaned.
"No?" he breathed, sounding hopelessly weak, but pulling his hands away with great effort.
"No!" she repeated, but drew his face back to her and kissed him with all the passion that smoldered within her. "Don't stop. Please."
For just a moment he waited, staring into her eyes before he pulled her into his embrace again. Nothing was held back now. Sheer desire took control, desire for touch, for feeling, for unity.
Her dress fell away from her shoulders. Raven followed its exit with kisses, running the length of her right arm, down to her shivering fingers, then back up, over the delicate, cringing bend to her shoulder. Charm drew it toward her ear, unable to bear the titillation, yet certain she would die if it stopped. And now he kissed the rounded swell of a breast. Never had she imagined she would burn so. Never had she thought she would need to feel his flesh against hers as she did now.
Her hands were trembling, but moved slowly along his sides to hug him to her. And then she kissed his chest, between his left nipple and the empty chain. Her hands slipped lower, and she closed her eyes, feeling the heat of his flesh sear her senses. She pulled him closer, pressing her half bared bosom against the solid mass of his torso.
Raven's moan was like a tonic, splashing hot excitement into her already overheated system. She tilted her chin up, kissing his chest again. His second moan was accompanied by the hard grip of his arms about her. Charm felt the backwash of her own warm breath against her face and knew she was far past control, deep into the raging flood of desire. But his head was thrown back now, and she could feel the steely tremble of his arms about her. Such strength there, and yet she made him shake. She kissed his nipple, and the tremor seemed to rip from his body directly into hers.