Turner better start figuring this shit out soon because I can’t pull off another stunt like today or they’re going to know something is up.
IT’S BEEN A week since I’ve been able to check on Elizabeth. After my “failed” attempt to kill Hutchison, the guys have been watching me like a hawk, so I couldn’t risk it. I want nothing more than to take her from that monster right now and run away with her. I have to fight the impulse to do so every day I’m not with her. But I know it won’t solve the problem, and as much as it pains me to leave her there, I know I have to for the time being.
Today is the first chance I’ve had to head to her house. And even though I won’t be able to actually see her in person, I can’t help but feel excited just being near her, to see her in some way. When the cab drops me off down the street, I pull my baseball cap down so my face is hidden and walk toward the SUV. I knock on the window to get Tyler’s attention. He unlocks the door when he realizes it’s me.
“How’s it going, man?” he asks once I’m in the car.
“I’ve been better. Where is she?” I don’t want to make conversation. I just want to see my girl.
He hands me the monitor he was watching. “She’s in the kitchen sitting at the island.” A sharp pain hits my chest when my eyes fall on her. She’s sitting on my favorite stool, elbows resting on the counter, head hanging low. She looks so fucking sad.
Defeated.
And it kills me knowing I’m responsible for some of that. I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and take away all her pain. To live a normal life where it’s just her and I and there’s no threat to her safety and no secrets between us. She doesn’t move for what feels like hours and I start to think the video froze or something. Finally, she slowly gets up, walks over to a cupboard, and gets a glass out. While she’s filling it with water, I notice something sitting on the counter I didn’t see before since her body was blocking it. I can’t quite make out what it is though.
“Can you zoom in on that right there?” I ask as I point to the screen.
“Yeah, we can take a still image and blow it up from there. Hold on.” He reaches behind my seat and pulls out a laptop. By the time he’s got it fired up, she’s already grabbed the item and is taking it upstairs.
“She’s leaving the room. Switch the cameras,” I tell him, anxiety clear in my voice. Call it one of my hunches, but something just doesn’t feel right.
“There aren’t any cameras in the hallways. We’ll have to switch to each room and find her.” He starts flipping from screen to screen until we find her in the room I used to stay in. It makes me wonder if she goes in there often. The thought alone takes the air out of me, knowing she’s holding on to us. She sits on the edge of the bed and so many memories flash through my mind. All the sleepless nights I’d spent staring up at the ceiling wishing I could push my feelings for her to the side. But at the same time wanting to be with her so damn bad. The night she came to me when she was upset and asked to sleep in my bed. I got to hold her and comfort her without apology. But none of that lives up to the moment when she gave herself over to me completely.
For as long as I live, I’ll never forget a second of when we were together. Every sigh and each moan that left her lips is permanently etched into my mind. In that moment, we were one person, expressing to each other things we may not have been ready to say out loud. Now I could kick my own ass for not manning up and telling her I love her.
“What is she doing?” I mumble, squinting my eyes as I bring my face closer to the screen. She’s sitting in the middle of the bed as she holds the item from the kitchen out with one hand, glass of water in the other. That’s when I figure out what it is.
A bottle of pills.
Concern immediately prickles up my spine as she stares at the bottle for several minutes. “What are you doing, sweetheart?” I whisper. As if she heard me, she sets the glass down between her legs as she pops the top off the bottle. She dumps a handful of them into her palm and stares at them again. “No.” There’s no fucking way she’s about to give up like this. I won’t let her. She takes the dozen or so pills in her hand and tosses them back into her mouth.
“Kill the feed!” I yell to Tyler as I push the door open and sprint as fast as I can toward her house.
“I don’t know if I can before you . . .” I can’t hear the rest of his sentence over the pounding of my feet on the pavement and my heart in my chest. My hat flies off my head as I race down the street. My legs burn as I dig deeper, running faster than I ever have before. The adrenaline pumping through my veins serves as the fuel needed to push my body harder. All of my concerns about the mission fly out the window as I do everything humanly possible to get to her as fast as my legs will carry me. I don’t give a shit if I get caught at this point. She needs me, and dammit I’m going in for her. Once I reach the front door, I don’t bother knocking. I turn the handle, thankful it’s not locked, and rush up the stairs to the bedroom. My chest heaves up and down as I stare at her lying quietly on the bed. Her eyes cut over to me, and her face drains of all remaining color. She looks like she’s seen a ghost, and, in a way, I guess she has.
“What are you doing to yourself?” My voice chokes on the last word. Seeing her like this is tearing me in two. I walk over to the bed and grab her gently by the arms before hoisting her off of it. She’s a little unsteady on her feet, the pills starting to work their way through her system. I scoop her up behind her knees and carry her to the bathroom before setting her down. “You need to throw up and get this shit out of your system. Can you stick your finger down your throat?” She doesn’t say anything and just looks at me with tear filled eyes while shaking her head back and forth. I’m sure seeing me standing here is a shock to her, but we need to focus on her first. “Sweetheart, if you don’t do it, I’ll have to call 9–1-1 so they can pump your stomach at the hospital.” That seems to snap her out of it.
She turns toward the toilet on shaky legs and sticks her finger down her throat. After gagging a few times, she finally starts to expel the contents of her stomach. Seeing all the pills floating in the water absolutely guts me as the reality of the situation settles in and the adrenaline starts to fade. I’m fighting back the urge to destroy something to get rid of this feeling eating away at me right now. Why would she think this was her only option?
When she can’t get anymore up, she collapses on her ass and sits back. I start counting the pills in the toilet, seeing fourteen.
“How many did you take? Do you think it was more than fourteen?” I’m recounting when I don’t hear her answer me. Turning around, I see her staring at me with wide eyes as tears run down her face. “Oh, Elizabeth,” I say on a sigh. Sitting down in front of her, I don’t know what to say. Out of all the times I imagined seeing her again, none of those visions went down like this.
“You’re—you’re d-dead,” she says, the rawness of her throat causing her words to come out only above a whisper. I shake my head.
“No, they just wanted you to think that.” What little composure she was holding on to snaps like a rubber band stretched to its limit. She crumbles, sobs consuming her whole body. My arms wrap around her and I pull her into me so she’s sitting on my lap. Her hands fist my shirt like letting go will make me magically vanish. “Shhh, I know, I know. It’s okay. I’m right here,” I whisper into her hair as I gently rock her back and forth. I know I don’t have long, but she needs me right now and I’ll be damned if I’m not here to comfort her. She continues to sob uncontrollably, my body absorbing them as she trembles in my arms. I hold onto her tighter, hoping that I can take away her hurt and pain. After about thirty minutes or so, she finally leans back, her crying having subsided.
“How?” It’s the only thing she asks as she searches my face for answers. I probably shouldn’t tell her, but looking into her sad, green eyes, I know I have to say something. Her finger comes out slowly to trace the line of my jaw, her green orbs full of amazement and disbelief. I swear
she doesn’t believe I’m really here. Knowing how my absence has affected her hurts more than actually being away from her.
With a sigh, I start. “It’s kind of a long story.” She doesn’t say anything, just stares up at me expectantly. “That day you were going to leave there were a couple guys outside waiting on me. As soon as I left the house they grabbed me. I tried to fight them off, but they knocked me out and the next thing I remember is coming to in this small, dark room. I was tied to a chair listening to you on the other end of the phone. God, you sounded so scared.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and run the back of my knuckles down her face. “When one of the guys put the gun to my face, I thought that was it. I was going to die. I’ve had a lot of close calls, but none of them terrified me like that moment did. You know why?” I ask her. She shakes her head ever so slightly. “You. In those last seconds, you were the only thing I could think of. How I wouldn’t get to hold you, see your beautiful smile, hear your amazing laugh. But right before he pulled the trigger, the guy pointed it at the wall and missed me.”
She buries her face in my chest. “Oh God, Alex. You have no idea how horrible that was—it is.” She starts to cry again, like she’s reliving the moment.
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
“But why?” She pulls back waiting for my answer. I want to tell her everything; who I am, what I do, but I know I can’t.
“Cal wants me to assassinate Bill Hutchison.” Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open. “He’s losing and wants him taken out so he can win the primary.”
There’s a slight hesitation that crosses her face before she diverts her eyes. “Are you going to?”
“No,” I say firmly with a shake of the head.
Relief.
It washes over her in a huge wave and some of the tension leaves her body. “Elizabeth, what was today all about? Why?” It pains me to ask her this, but I have to know.
Her eyes close as a single tear spills over. “I can’t live like this anymore. First, you died, then other stuff happened. It’s just gotten too hard.” Her lips quiver as she struggles to maintain her composure.
“What got too hard? What happened?” She shakes her head. “Talk to me,” I plead.
“I can’t. I really don’t want to talk about this right now, okay?” It’s clear whatever haunts her is buried in the darkest parts of her soul. The pain and sadness pouring from her eyes tells me that the wounds she’s trying to conceal are still too fresh, too deep to talk about out loud. As much as I want to shake it out of her, I resist and pull her to me and kiss the top of her head. I want her to know I’m here for her, that she doesn’t have to carry the burden alone.
“Okay.” I sigh in frustration. How am I supposed to help her if she won’t tell me what’s wrong? I don’t want to upset her any more than she already is, so I leave it be for now, only adding, “Promise me you won’t do something like that again. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Snuggling deeper into me, I hear her breathe me in. “I promise.” There’s a quiet conviction in her voice that makes me believe she means it and won’t make another attempt. I’m still worried, but it brings me a little peace of mind. After a moment she whispers, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. I just need to know you’re going to be okay so I can concentrate on getting you out of here.” She nods into my chest. “Let’s get out of this bathroom. I’ll get you some water and you can relax.” I stand and begin carrying her to bed when she protests.
“Wait, I need to rinse my mouth out.”
“Okay.” I spin back around and stop in front of the sink. “I’m going to set you down, but I won’t let go.” I stare into her eyes through the mirror, hoping she knows I mean that in more ways than one. With my arm wrapped securely around her waist, I hold on to her as she swishes around some mouthwash. Once she’s finished, I scoop her back up and carry her to bed and set her down before retrieving a glass of water. She gulps most of it down. “How are you feeling?”
“My throat is a little raw, but I’m fine.” Rubbing her cheek, I think about how damn lucky I am that I was here today. The fact that I could have lost her makes me feel nauseous. “I spend a lot of time in here,” she confesses, referring to the bedroom that was mine.
“You do?” Her admission does weird things to my emotions. On one hand, it makes me happy as hell she wanted to stay connected to me—to us—in any way she could. On the other hand, it tears me up thinking of her sitting in this room, grieving over what she thought we’d never have again.
“Yeah, I can still smell you on the pillow. I won’t let the cleaning lady come in here.” Her voice is tight with emotion and I know she’s trying to hold it together.
I lace our fingers together and rub the back of her hand with my thumb. “I love you, Elizabeth.” This is definitely not how I thought I’d tell her for the first time, but I can’t let another second go by without her knowing.
Looking into her eyes, I see a tiny spark in them letting me know she’s still in there hidden beneath the sorrow. “I love you too.” My heart has never felt so full in my life. A small smile pulls at the corners of my mouth. Leaning in, I kiss her softly on the lips. She responds immediately kissing me back. I’ve missed this—missed her—so damn much it hurts. To have her soft lips against mine is fucking heaven. I forget about all the obstacles laid out before us and just savor the moment, breathing her in like she’s my last breath. Not wanting to push things, I pull back and rest my forehead against hers.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she says in a strangled tone. “You have no idea how many times I prayed for this. Prayed that it was all just a dream and I’d wake up and have you here with me. Now that it’s happened, I’m scared to death it’s not real.”
Cupping both cheeks in my hands with our foreheads still pressed together, I say, “I know what you mean, sweetheart.” I wished for this day too. “But I’m here and we’re going to get through this, okay?” She nods her head and I kiss her again quickly, not able to resist the urge. I pull away and grab both of her hands. “I need to get going before someone realizes I’m missing. It’s very important that no one knows I saw you today, okay? You need to act like you normally would.”
“But you just got here.” Her body stiffens as if she’s about to panic. “Can’t you stay awhile longer?” The pleading look in her eyes almost does me in.
“I wish I could, but I can’t.” Bringing her left hand up to my mouth, I place a kiss on the back of it. The tension slowly eases from her body as I continue to rub her other hand with my thumb.
“Okay, but when will I get to see you again?” The sadness creeps back over her features, making me feel guilty that I have to leave her again.
“I’m not sure. I have people watching me, but I’ll come over as soon as I can.” She moves forward and gives me another kiss. A few moments later I stand up and start to leave when her next question causes my steps to falter.
“How’d you know I had taken all those pills?” Shit, how am I going to explain that? I don’t turn around to face her, afraid my expression will give me away. I hate lying to her, but I can’t tell her everything yet. It’ll put her in more danger, and I’m not really sure how deep all of this with Cal and the cartel goes.
“I was finally able to sneak in and see you and saw the empty pill bottle on the bed.” Looking over my shoulder at her, I see her weighing my answer. She must believe me because she doesn’t question me further.
“I love you,” she says quietly.
Walking back over to her, I capture her lips with mine. “I love you too,” I say against her mouth. As much as it kills me to leave, I turn and walk out before I’m tempted to stay.
While I’m so fucking happy to have seen her, and even more relieved that I stopped her from making a huge mistake, I can tell she’s keeping something from me. Call it a hunch, but I could see it in the depths of her eyes. Whatever it is, she doesn’t want me to know, and
I would bet my life Cal is responsible. Seeing her this broken has me more determined than ever to make that fucker pay.
I’M WALKING TOWARD the road, sticking to the trees that line the driveway to provide me with some cover. I’m almost to the street when I hear a car pulling up. Sinking down to a squatting position, I hide, waiting to see who it is. When I get a glimpse of his face, it takes all of my inner strength and then some to not march up there and beat him to a bloody pulp. The only reason I don’t is because of Elizabeth. I don’t know if I can keep her safe if all hell broke loose right now.
Cal walks briskly to the front door, and once he’s inside I make a run for it. I need to get back to the SUV and see why he’s home.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Tyler shouts at me when I slide back into the vehicle.
“Is the feed on?” I ask, ignoring his question since I think the answer is pretty damn obvious.
“No, I had to kill it to keep anyone from seeing your ass, remember?”
“Hurry, turn it back on,” I demand as I stare at the blank screen. After a few seconds the monitor lights up with video of Elizabeth in the bedroom I left her in, but now Cal is with her.
“What the hell is this, Elizabeth?” Cal seethes at her as he holds up the empty pill bottle.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Her voice is completely monotone.
“Let’s see.” He places his hand on his chin as if he’s in deep thought. Watching him be condescending toward her is pushing my patience. “This bottle was halfway full this morning, and now it’s empty. Where are they?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe they spilled out somewhere and I didn’t notice.” It’s like Cal zaps all the life out of her. The small flicker I saw while I was with her is now completely extinguished, leaving only this hollow woman I don’t recognize. It’s actually scary watching her mood shift so quickly.
Uncovered by Truth Page 4