Elizabeth.
She looks at me from across the road with wide eyes¸ her mouth hanging open as she clutches her chest. A second later she collapses.
“No!” I shout out as I jump out of bed. Just like the last nightmare I had with her in it, it takes me a second to get my bearings and realize that it wasn’t real.
“What the fuck are you shouting for?” Rodney grumbles, obviously pissed off I woke him up.
I wipe the sweat off my eyebrow and work on regulating my heart rate. “Nothing.” He doesn’t ask any more questions and rolls over on the couch and passes back out.
God, it felt so real, so vivid. It seems like each nightmare I have with her in it gets worse and worse. I rub the back of my neck with a shaky hand. With as frequent as they’re becoming, I can’t help but get a bad feeling about it. My actions have directly and indirectly caused her deep emotional pain. So much so that she thought her only way to stop the suffering was to take her own life. Maybe I’ve already killed her.
I’ve just parked the car and am on my way to see Elizabeth. Rodney and Bruce didn’t question me much when I told them I needed to go out. Honestly, I get the feeling they might be keeping their distance after their ass beatings and my showdown with Cal. They kept eyeing me up all morning and didn’t try to push my buttons like they usually do. They’re supposed to be the hired badasses that watch over me, and now they are walking on eggshells around me. It almost makes me laugh.
Pussies.
After my dream last night, I had to see her. I have to know she’s really okay and is going to hang in there until I can end all of this. I’ve never felt about a woman the way I do about her. I’ve had women in my life, but I’ve never cared this much. There’s just something about her that’s almost indescribable. It’s not one particular thing I can point to that makes her amazing. It’s just her as a whole. She’s the blood in my veins, the air in my lungs. I wouldn’t be able to function without her in my life.
Tyler lets me into the SUV after knocking on the window. “How is she?” I ask him.
“She’s not great, but she’s okay.”
“I need you to kill the feed so I can go see her.”
He sighs. “I don’t think that’s a very good idea, man. Last time you almost got caught in there.”
“I didn’t ask if you thought it was a good idea, now did I?” I ask sternly. My patience is wearing thin and he’d be wise not to push me. He opens his mouth to protest more, but I cut him off. “Look, I’m going to call Turner and give him an update, then I’m going in there to see her. You can choose to kill the feed or not. I don’t give a shit. I need to see her.” My eye contact is unwavering, daring him to argue with me again.
After a few moments, he surrenders and hands me his phone. “This is Turner,” I hear through the receiver.
“Hey, it’s Matthews.”
“Matthews,” he says with a tired sigh, “why are you there?”
“What? I just stopped by to give you an update.” I know he’s not buying my bullshit, but he’s not going to talk me out of this either, so he should save his energy. He lets out a frustrated breath.
“What’s the update?” he asks in a monotone voice.
“Cal stopped by the house I’m staying at. He’s getting a little antsy to get the job done. I have two weeks now.”
“Two weeks? You need to buy us some more time.”
My hand rakes roughly over my face. “I don’t think I can, sir. I’ve done everything I can short of blowing my cover to push this out. They’re not going to buy it anymore. What’s going on with the plane and money? Have you traced any of it back yet?”
“We’re really close to getting a solid lead and connection.”
“What’s the hold up?” My voice rises a bit in frustration over the lack of progress. “You’ve been close every time I talk to you. I’m doing my part and gathering all the info I can to point you in the right direction. The fact that there’s been no definite connection is starting to piss me off.”
“I know. We’ve traced the plane back to a businessman named Henry Williams. The money has been well laundered, so we’re still trying to pinpoint the exact source.”
Henry Williams. For some reason that name sounds familiar. “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve heard that name before.”
“Well he runs a legit business which is why this just isn’t adding up. We can’t figure out how or to what extent he’s involved with Cal.”
“Hmmm.” I tap my foot on the floor of the car trying to figure out why I know this name. Not having a lot of time to waste, I move on and decide to think on it some more. “Did you talk to my buddy at the DEA?”
“Yep, good call, Matthews. His name is Jose Gonzalez, 34 years of age, and has connections with a group called los Malvados. Translation: The Wicked. The DEA says they can’t pinpoint the leader, Jose is as far up as they’ve gotten in the hierarchy. He’s been watched for a while in hopes he’ll lead them back to the drug lord.”
“So I guess now we have to link this cartel to Cal somehow, right?”
“Yep. Easier said than done, obviously.”
“Do you think the money will go back to the cartel and link them?”
“At this point, that’s what we’re hoping for.”
We end the call and I turn my attention back to Tyler. “Alright, I’m gonna go see my girl now.”
He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t think I’d be able to talk you out of it. I think Cal came home last time because the feed went out. That means he’s either watching it constantly, or has someone else doing it. I recorded her when she was watching TV. She doesn’t move around a lot, so it was perfect. While you’re in there, I’ll stop the live feed and play this in its place. No one should know the difference and hopefully Cal won’t show up.”
I look at Tyler with appreciation. This is really important to me, and I’m thankful he understands that. “Thanks, man.”
“Yeah, yeah, now go.” He waves me off and starts clicking some buttons on his computer.
With a small smile on my face, I feel lighter knowing I’m going to see her in a few seconds. Not able to wait a second longer, I pick up the pace and run toward her house.
WITH MY HAT pulled down low, I run down the street and up the side of the house and around to the back. When I’m in front of the door, I don’t know if I should knock or just walk in. I look around to see if anyone can see me back here and knock. The anticipation of seeing her has me on pins and needles as I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet, waiting for her to greet me. The door opens slowly, and I can’t help the wide smile that spreads across my face when our eyes meet. She looks better than she did the last time I saw her, and that gives me hope.
“Hey,” I say. It’s such a casual statement when our reality is anything but.
She smiles softly at me. “You’re here.” The relief in her voice isn’t lost on me.
“I had to see you. Can I come in?”
“Oh, yes, of course.” She moves out of the way and allows me to enter. I watch her as she closes the door behind us. Her back is to me as she pauses. The hesitation concerns me and makes me wonder if I made a mistake coming here.
“Elizabeth.” My tone is gentle, coercing her to turn and look at me. She complies and the look on her face causes my heart to crumble. The sadness consumes her, but there’s a new emotion there too.
Shame.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” She looks down and shakes her head. I walk over to her and cup her face in both of my hands forcing her to look up at me. “Talk to me.”
She holds her breath and lets it out in a rush. “God, I’m so embarrassed you saw me like that,” she whispers, roughly wiping away the tears that refuse to be held back.
“You shouldn’t feel embarrassed. Do you know how thankful I am that I was here?” My thumbs rub back and forth under her eye. I couldn’t care less how she looked. I’m just glad I was here to stop her.
“It was so
stupid of me.” More tears fall from her eyes and run down the back of my hand.
“Hey, it’s okay now.” My arms wrap around her and hold tight. Her body shakes and I feel the sorrow rolling off of her with each shudder, hiccup, tear, and gasp for air. I’ll gladly absorb it. I’ll take every ounce of pain if she’ll let me. “Let’s sit down and talk.” She nods against my chest and I kiss the top of her head before leading her to the couch in the living room.
After we’ve sat down, she lets out a deep sigh. Her fingers rub beneath her eyes to remove the makeup that has streaked her flawless face. “Ugh, I’m such a mess,” she says as she continues to wipe at her cheeks.
“Stop it.” I grab her hands to stop their movement. “Every time I look at you, you steal my breath away.” I lean in and pause, needing her confirmation this is okay. She nods just the slightest bit, and that’s all the acknowledgment I need. My lips connect with hers and it’s like fireworks in the dark of night. One simple touch and I’m lost and home all at once. I’m completely lost in her—to her—and find solace whenever she’s around.
Soon, her lips are parting and I take advantage by slowly sliding my tongue between them. An involuntary groan vibrates in the back of my throat when her tongue reaches out to touch mine. My hand travels up her neck and through her hair where I hold her to me. It’s been so long since I’ve felt her, tasted her that I feel like a starving man. I push back every carnal instinct that’s telling me to lay her down and strip her bare right here, right now. After a minute or so, my restraint is hanging by a thread and ready to snap at any moment. Disconnecting our lips, I place a small kiss to the tip of her nose and rest my forehead against hers. “I think we should talk a bit before we get carried away.”
She nods but then sits up abruptly, startling me. “Oh my God, Alex. The cameras. Cal has cameras in here and can see us. You have to leave.” She gets up and starts pulling on my arm. Her eyes are wide and frantic as she tries to get me to leave.
“Relax, sweetheart. He can’t see us right now.” She stops tugging on my arm and furrows her eyebrows in confusion.
“What do you mean?” She slowly lowers herself back down onto the couch.
My hand rubs the back of my neck trying to relieve the stress that’s building. I don’t want to lie to her, but I can’t tell her everything right now. “I can’t really go into it, but I have the ability to disconnect the feed while I’m here.”
“Why didn’t you come sooner? Where have you been this whole time?” she asks. Now that she’s in a clearer state of mind, I can see the wheels spinning in her brain trying to piece together everything that’s happened.
“I didn’t think it was safe, and I’m staying in an abandoned building right now,” I hedge.
“What do you do during the day? I know you’re supposed to assassinate Hutchison, but what’s the plan? Why aren’t there people following you? Are you in danger?” It’s like the dam containing her curiosity explodes as the questions pour out one after another.
Shaking my head, I say, “I want to tell you everything, trust me, I do. All I can tell you is I’m buying a little time while other things get worked out. They think I’m out doing research and setting things up to kill Cal’s opponent, but I’m not.” She opens her mouth looking like she’s going to ask more questions, but I cut her off. “Please don’t ask more questions,” I plead. Her mouth closes and she examines me briefly before deciding not to push the issue.
“When is Cal coming home?” I ask. The video might be off, but I’d still be in a heap of shit if he came back and saw me here.
“A couple days. He’s off campaigning.” The tension in my shoulders eases slightly knowing he won’t be coming home soon. Now I can relax a little and enjoy my time with Elizabeth before I have to go back to reality.
“You don’t go with him anymore?” I hadn’t seen her in any of the recent campaign videos, but I’m curious to know if this is temporary or permanent.
She shakes her head. “Aaron thought I was too much of a liability after I froze on stage and had to be escorted off.” Her gaze shifts down to her hands where she’s fidgeting with a piece of string on her shirt.
“I saw that. What happened?” I’ve wanted to know ever since I saw it. I know the press put out a statement claiming she was being treated for exhaustion, but I don’t buy that bullshit.
She bites her lip and shakes her head several times. “You have things you can’t talk about, and I have mine,” she says just above a whisper. Her bottom lip quivers as she holds in the tears.
I grab her arm and gently pull her into me. Leaning back, I hold her while her head rests on my chest. “You don’t have to tell me,” I reassure her. She nods her head. “So, do you want to watch some trashy TV? I’ve got way too many brain cells right now and need to kill a few off,” I joke with her. I want so desperately to make her laugh and smile, and it works. Her body shakes slightly as a small laugh leaves her lips. It’s fucking music to my ears.
“Sure.” She grabs the remote and scrolls through the DVR listings. To my horror, there are pages of Housewife shows on there. “I haven’t been keeping up with my shows,” she offers up in explanation.
“Why not? You realized how God awful it is?”
“Uh, no.” Her tone changes from lighthearted to somber. “It made me think of you, so I couldn’t bring myself to watch it.”
And now I feel like the biggest ass.
“I’m so sorry, Elizabeth.” I reach out to comfort her again, but she shakes her head so I stop.
“I’m tired of living in the sadness. It’s eating me alive. Now that you’re here, I want to move forward and let go of all of that, okay? If I don’t, I’m going to drown in it.”
“Okay, from now on, we only talk about good things.”
“Exactly. Now, let’s destroy some of your underused brain cells,” she teases with a little smirk before leaning back into me. In this one moment I see and feel it. The girl I know and love. I rest my chin on the top of her head as we turn our attention to the TV.
We only watch about fifteen minutes before we’re sitting facing each other, bantering back and forth like we used to. There’s light in her eyes, her face is animated, and most importantly she looks happy. It’s the best I’ve felt since all hell broke loose six weeks ago.
Damn.
It feels a helluva lot longer than six weeks. Before, I swear we’d been apart for an eternity, but sitting with her now, the time away from each other vanishes. Almost like it was a dream or some distant, vague memory.
We’re both quietly laughing when our eyes lock. An all too familiar electricity courses between us and our laughter quickly dies. The darkening of her eyes and lust filled expression matches my own.
“Come here,” I demand softly. When she’s close enough, I grab her by the back of her neck and guide her to straddle my lap. My mouth crashes into hers, needing to taste her sweet lips. I could do this all day long and die a happy man. A little moan passes through her lips, which spurs me on. My tongue slides into her mouth to deepen the kiss. Her tongue meets mine eagerly stroke for stroke. The little sounds of pleasure she makes are about to drive me crazy as my dick strains against my pants. She moves her hips slightly, grinding down on my hard on. With everything she’s been through, I want to make sure she has a clear mind. I don’t want to move too fast, blue balls be damned.
“Wait,” I say breathlessly while pushing her away by the shoulders. Her lips are red and swollen from my attack, making me want to do nothing but devour them again. Closing my eyes so I can stay focused, I continue, “I don’t want to rush this. You’ve been through a lot the last couple days, and I just want to make sure you’re—”
“Please, Alex,” she interrupts. “I need this. Make me feel alive.” My eyes fly open to look at her. With those words I’d expect to see desperation, but I don’t. Passion radiates from her incredible emerald eyes, and what little restraint I was holding on to snaps. She doesn’t have to tell me twice.<
br />
She leans in to kiss me again, but I dodge her mouth in favor for her neck. I’m going to take this at my pace and worship every inch of her body. I want her to remember each place I’ve touched and tasted so when she’s lonely at night, it’ll be this moment she goes to for comfort, warmth.
Reassurance.
Reassurance that there’s someone who cares for her deeply. Someone who will go to the ends of the Earth to make her happy and keep her safe.
My mouth trails kisses up her neck excruciatingly slow as I grip her hips and pull her closer to me. A gasp rushes out of her mouth when I suck on the spot behind her ear. Her hands fist in my hair, pulling on the ends. “Alex,” she says on a moan.
I kiss her jawline and she tilts her head back to give me better access. My hands move inch by inch up her sides, over her ribcage, and graze the side of her breasts. Reaching out, I cup both of her perfect tits in my hands and gently squeeze them. She grinds against my cock again, obviously looking for some relief. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll get you there.”
Pulling away from her neck, my gaze lands on the buttons of her shirt as my fingers begin undoing them. “What? Not going to rip this shirt off of me?” I look up and am met with a challenging smirk. She arches an eyebrow at me when I don’t move or say anything. Not being one to back down from a challenge, I grab both sides firmly and rip it apart. She looks down at her exposed chest and back up at me through her eyelashes. She bites her lip and that’s my undoing. Between seeing her plump breasts covered in a sexy black lace bra and the naughty look on her face, I need her now.
In a flash, I flip her so she’s lying on the couch and I’m hovering above her. “You sure know how to test a man’s control.” Her only response is a coy smile. I pull the cups of her bra down, exposing her nipples. Leaning down, I attach my mouth to one as my fingers pinch the other. I groan in appreciation as she arches her back in response to my touch.
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