The Serenity Murders

by Mehmet Murat Somer

  I finally got to speak to Gül on the phone. Hesitant and nervous, she told me that my dream man Bahadır really liked me, and that if I was up for it, they were proposing to have a threesome. I listened with my mouth half open, unable to believe my ears. They hadn’t tried it before. She said she was ready to do anything to keep hold of the guy. The fact that Bahadır fancied me, and the idea of making love to him, were enough to sweep me off my feet, but I had a different sort of respect for Gül and I couldn’t imagine myself in the same bed with her, sharing the same man. I thanked her and told her I would think about it.

  I received an e-mail from my author Mehmet Murat Somer, from the land of sunny beaches, Rio de Janeiro, asking what had happened. “Have you sorted it out?” he asked. Of course, his life was bliss over there. When he got back, he’d augment all that had happened and write yet another novel.

  And I was going to buy Ponpon, who would show reproach for days after hearing the end of the story, of which she was a part but did not actually witness, a huge box of chocolates from the Gezi patisserie. She’d tuck them in her mouth one by one, close her eyes, and find peace in the sweet flavor spreading across her tongue. “Chocolate is just such a marvelous thing. I think it is mankind’s most important discovery. Believe me, it’s better than sex, more effective—and, it’s safe…”

  Like she said, everyone loves chocolate.

  Glossary

  abi: Short for ağabey.

  abla: Elder sister. Also expression of respect.

  ağabey: Elder brother. Also expression of respect.

  ağabeyciğim: The noun ağabey + dimunutive and affectionate suffix “-cik” (affectionate in this context) + possessive adjective suffix “-im.” Would translate into English as “my dear/darling brother.”

  ayol/ay: Exclamations traditionally used by women as well as effeminate gays and transgender women

  ayolcuğum: Ayol + dimunutive and affectionate suffix “-cik” (affectionate in this context) + possessive adjective suffix “-im.”

  ayran: Yogurt drink.

  bey: Mr., used after the first name.

  börek: Filled flaky pastry fried or cooked in the oven.

  çörek: A sweet or savory pastry

  effendi: Gentleman.

  gözleme: Hand-rolled pastry filled with a variety of fillings, sealed, and cooked on a saj

  hanım: Mrs., used following the first name.

  hünkar beğendi/ beğendi: Eggplant puree mixed with yogurt or bé chamel sauce and cheese, served with stewed lamb meat on top.

  kahve: Short for kahvehane, coffeehouse. A café open only to male customers.

  lahmacun: Round dough with spicy minced meat topping.

  mantı: Dumplings with minced meat filling.

  maşallah: “Praise be to God.”

  poğaça: Puff pastry.

  rakı: Anise-flavored spirit.