I laid on my bed, under my thick comforter as my AC spilled icy cool air into the room. Heath was out and I decided to cuddle up in my room. I hadn’t slept there in a while, so it was nice to be back. I turned over to my side and stared at my phone on the bedside table. I then picked it up, deciding to Whatsapp Salimah.
We had been in constant contact ever since, she was my support. She was just as confused as I was in terms of the love triangle. She loved Heath, and she understood my love for Jake. But she was very proud of me for giving up Jake and focusing on my relationship, and most importantly school and work. We were in an interesting discussion about my sudden bout of sickness. She believed it was more to it than just heart break and that’s when she imparted something I never in a million years would have ever considered.
Me: No, Sal, no! That can’t be rite!
Sal: It makes perfect sense.
Me: No! It doesn’t, cuz I still get my period.
Sal: Lots of women still got their period.
Me: Not right now. I’m still in school. I can’t handle that responsibility. You mad!
Sal: Just take a test, Reese. Better to be safe than sorry.
Me: ok. Ill get one.
I couldn’t possibly be pregnant. It was absolutely, completely, entirely ludicrous to even think that I was. I was on the pill. I know it wasn’t completely foolproof, but no! I couldn’t accept that!
I got up and got dressed, rushed into my car and drove to the nearby pharmacy. Surprisingly enough, there was Kai, buying Protein. Jesus! No, I don’t wanna deal with him right now, nor do I want him to know about my pregnancy scare. I knew in my heart of hearts that I wasn’t pregnant, but I just wanted to ease Salimah’s mind.
I bent my head and docked away from Kai behind one of the shelves. I looked on at him as he cashed his protein. He was clad in his usual vest and cargo shorts. He craned his neck back, scanning the area before he collected his receipt. He then picked up the tub of protein and left. When the coast was clear, I padded up to the cashier with two tests in hand and cashed it.
I got home and rushed to the toilet with one of the tests. I knew it was better to wait ‘til morning for the first pee as the HCG would be high in concentration, but fuck it – I just couldn’t wait to debunk this ridiculous theory.
I sat on the toilet, holding the stick in place and began to release, trying my best to aim properly on the damn thing. Finally, after I managed, I covered it up and placed it down. I then washed myself up and looked at my reflection in the mirror, suddenly feeling a little scared. Oh just relax, I kept telling myself. Deep breaths. Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! Moment of truth.
I picked the stick up, closed my eyes as I continued to breath. Okay. Here goes. I opened one eye, then the other staring at the result. Wow. I felt dead. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. How? The stupid thing read invalid. Damn! All of this bloody heart failure for nothing.
Luckily, I had bought two tests just in case, so I retrieved the other one. Feeling much more relaxed this time. In fact, I was hardly thinking about it. I wasn’t scared anymore because for some odd reason I felt like I was just being paranoid earlier. It’s cool. I drank two glasses of water, waiting for my bladder to refill, and took the test when it did.
As I was about to pick it up to read the result, my phone chimed. I left the test on the bathroom counter to get my phone from my bedside table. What a coincidence, it was Salimah asking me about the result. I returned to the bathroom with my phone in hand, not really paying attention to the result of the test and snapped a picture and sent it to her via Whatsapp.
Salimah called me instantly. “Oh my God! Reese, what are you going to do?” She cried.
“What are you talking about, Sal?” I questioned.
“Didn’t you read the test?”
“What? I…” I trailed off, taking notice of the two pink lines on the test. My phone slipped out of my hand, crashing hard onto the floor. I could faintly hear Salimah calling out to me over the line, but I was gone. I was totally mentally gone. A loud ringing sound began to pound in my ear. “You’re fucked.” I whispered to myself. “Totally, completely and utterly fucked!” I screamed out ‘NO’ so hard, I think the whole neighbourhood heard me. I fell to my knees and began crying hysterically. “No!” I kept repeating, pulling hard at my hair. “No, this can’t be fucking real.”
I heard my phone ringing again, it was Salimah. “Sal.” I sobbed, sniffing in between heavy breaths. “Reese.” Sal replied and then paused as if lost for words. “What are you gonna do?” She continued, having finally found the words.
“I have to take an ultrasound. I don’t know how far along I am. I… what if it’s his, Sal?”
“Whose? Jake?” She asked in astonishment.
“Yes. What the fuck am I going to do?”
“How soon can you schedule an appointment?” Sal asked.
“Right now! I’ll message you.” I replied and hung up. I began googling and calling nearby sonographers, and got through to an appointment for the next day. Thank God. I’d have to go into town and get it done, but it had to be!
I heard Heath’s car pulling up in the driveway and I grabbed the tests, along with their packaging, and threw it in the trash, sticking it far down to the bottom. I washed my hands and walked downstairs to the front door to greet him.
“Pieces, hi.” He smiled, as he walked through the door.
“Hey, Heath.” I returned the smile, along with a peck on the cheek. “How was it?”
“It was fantastic.” He chirped. “I hope you come along next time.”
“You know I’m not very fond of Sara, so I’d pass.”
“Suit yourself then. Are you okay? You look a little pale. Still not eating?” His questions made my stomach tie up in knots, apart from its already nauseating feeling. Pregnant, me? Of all people, me? Why? I love kids, but it wasn’t the time. I had so much ahead of me to do, and now it’s like… I felt so broken. Everything shattered. It felt surreal. I have a tiny human growing inside of me. Wow! So many emotions ran through me. I just looked down at my stomach and placed my hand on top of it. I didn’t even know you existed until a few minutes ago and now you’re already making me feel ‘some type of way’.
“Reese, are you okay, mate?” Heath looked at me strangely. I sprung my head up and yanked my hand away from my stomach. “Yes!” I replied, harder than I should have. Subtle, Reese. I was having a moment right in front of Heath. Am I nuts? “My stomach just feels a little, um, gassy.” I said it without thinking. Gassy? Of all the excuses!
I went to bed that night unable to sleep. So many things racing through my mind. How far along am I? If I am far along, does that mean the baby’s Jake’s? If it’s Jake’s, what do I do? If it’s Heath’s, what do I do? I know for a fact Heath would want to have it, he loves kids. Should I even tell any of them?
I started thinking about what it would be like having the baby for both Heath and Jake, and what it would mean for me and my relationships, school, future career, life! I was distraught.
Heath wrapped his arms around me, startling me and bringing me out of my thoughts. He nuzzled into my neck and kissed it. “Good night.” He whispered and I replied.
Jake and Kai were at a bar called Zola’s Pub in West End Park. Inside was dark with a soft red light that glowed throughout. Rows of pool tables laid neatly on one side while tables and chairs laid on the other. A couple people occupied the pool tables while others sat around the bar counter. It was relatively quiet, apart from the knocking of pool sticks and balls, and the music playing: Shiner by Indian Summer.
They were seated at a high table in a secluded corner. A pitcher of whisky sat in the middle of the table along with a bucket of ice and their two half-filled glasses. “I can’t fucking do it.” Jake slurred, taking another sip of his whiskey. “I’m suffocating. She’s only been back two days and I wanna fucking scream just looking at her sickening banged up face.” Jake spat.
“Dude, I swore I s
aw Reese today at the pharmacy.” Kai uttered, as of only remembering just then.
“Which one?” Jake asked suddenly attentive.
“Hacksaw’s by the old gas station.”
“What the fuck were you doing there?” Jake asked puzzled. “And what the fuck was she doing there too?”
“I went to get my protein. You know Hacksaw’s sells the best for a nice price. Anyway, I was thinking the same thing too. But I could have seen wrong. She didn’t acknowledge me so…”
“I miss her. How’d she look?”
“To be honest, really sick. Looks like she hasn’t been eating.”
“Really?” Jake asked in astonishment and Kai nodded his head. “You think I should call her?”
“You ready to do something about Kin?” He deadpanned
“Fuck you, Kai.” Jake smirked and gulped down his remaining whiskey.
The next morning, I shot up from Heath’s bed just as I remembered I had my ultrasound. It was pretty late, later than I had expected. I yanked the comforter off and I scooped up my phone from the bedside table. I jogged downstairs to see Heath laying on the sofa with his laptop sitting on his extended legs. He looked up at me.
“Eh, you’re up.” He smiled. “There’s breakfast in the microwave for you. I went to Charleston and bought paninis.” He singsonged.
“Oh, thanks.” I smiled. “Um, I’m heading out today, okay?”
“Really? Where to?” He seemed surprised.
“Mall.”
“Alright. Have fun. You need any money?”
“Uh, no. Thanks, I’m good.” He then shrugged his shoulders and turned back to his laptop.
After I got ready, I still had some time to kill before my appointment, so I opted to go to Kings Mall. The sonographer was located in town not too far from there.
While sitting at the fountain where most of the teenaged kids hung out, my eyes fell on him cruising through the mall. Tall, broad shoulders and defined cheekbones, that unmistakable bone structure and one-sided smile. His perfectly imperfect teeth glimmering as he smiled. Long legs striding to Vie de Café, the coffee shop on the ground floor of the mall. Yep, Jake Cavanaugh was looking as fine as ever, with his much longer, wilder hair, walking with a guy that I didn’t recognise. My heart pounded, I felt it in my throat. I began to shake, I didn’t know how to react. I was a nervous wreck.
“Hey.” Someone called out behind me, startled, I spun around. It was a really handsome, guy with dark chocolatey skin and a smile that showed off all his teeth, and boy, they were beautiful teeth.
“Hi.” I answered timidly.
“You look familiar. You from around here?” He asked.
“No, no. Not really?”
“Whoa, beautiful accent. Where you from?”
“Trinidad. But I go to school here.”
“I’m Malcolm.” He replied with an extended arm. I smiled and took his arm, shaking it, completely forgetting about all the drama in my life. “I actually just moved here. It’s nice to finally get to talk to a pretty girl.” He sat down beside me.
“Ha, where are you from?” I asked suddenly becoming a little relaxed.
“Florida.”
“Really? What brings you to Dillcaster of all places?” I asked genuinely intrigued.
“School. I’m gonna start the Film Academy in September.”
“Serious? I go there.”
“Whoa, that’s awesome!” He beamed. “I’m staying by an aunt in West End.”
“Wow, got a rich aunt.” I joked.
“Yeah, well her husband is the Dean at Dillcaster.” I paused in thought, feeling absolutely confused, my forehead crinkling in the process.
“Mr. Greyman?” I asked with furrowed eyebrows.
“Yep, that guy.” He laughed.
“Wow, thought he was gay or something.” I laughed and so did Malcolm. He was pretty nice, and friendly.
“So you got a boyfriend? Girlfriend?” He enquired.
“Boyfriend, yeah.” Couple weeks ago I had more boyfriends than I should.
“Cool. My girlfriend is trying to come before the semester starts.”
“Oh that’s nice. Well, I have an appointment to get to, I’m so sorry, but take my number if you like.” I informed him and entered my number onto his cell phone for him to save.
“Wait you didn’t tell me your name.” He called out.
And without warning, as I was about to reply, I heard Jake’s voice call out to me, “Reese?” I slowly turned around, dreading to see his beautiful face up close. Malcolm looked at me, confused at what was happening. I gasped when I laid my eyes on him clad in his blazer, V-neck jersey, skinny jeans and a pair of pointed toe shoes. His hair was completely tussled and made him even sexier. I gulped, unable to say a word. My lips parted, as I was about to say something but then I pursed them and bolted, running straight past him. I couldn’t. I was already pale and underdressed – and pregnant. I couldn’t have him see me in such a state.
As I broke through the front door of the mall, I began feeling the buzz of my phone in the back pocket of my jeans. I pulled it out, of course, it was Jake. I ignored it and headed to my car in the parking lot. I jumped in, started the ignition and headed to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room, my legs shaking. I was so nervous. I looked over at the other very pregnant mother as they waited on the seats provided. Will that be me in time? My eyes glanced at every maternal poster on the grey coloured walls. It was quiet, apart from the mellow sounds of Lifespan by Vaults playing, and the buzzing of the filter inside of the giant Aquarium that took the length of the wall opposite me. The round table before us had medical-related pamphlets and magazines. I bent my head, my fingers pressed against my temple as I drowned in worry and fear. “Singh?” I heard a modulated voice broadcast. My heart jumped, or at least it felt like it did. I shot up, to see the sunken-eyed nurse staring at me. “Doctor will see you now.”
I followed her through the archway and down the brightly-lit corridor, towards a brown door that was labelled ‘Dr. Bellum’. She then walked away, leaving me to enter the office on my own. I knocked and heard a female voice respond, “Come in.”
I pushed through, even more posters were on the walls, along with charts and medical figurines. Dr. Bellum was sitting behind her large wooden desk, writing on a notepad. She looked up at me, placing her hand out, directing me to one of the two chairs that sat before her desk. I complied, timidly falling onto the seat. “So, what seems to be the problem?” She was pretty soft-spoken. She then looked up at me. Her wide-brimmed glasses falling off her crooked nose. She readjusted them onto her rounded eyes. She then passed her hand through her glossy, dark hair.
“Um…” I began, trying desperately to find the words. I felt childish and unable to explain myself. “I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. I’m not quite sure how far along I am.” I suddenly blurted.
“Okay…” She responded as she scribbled her notes into her notepad. “When was the date of your last monthly period?”
“Uh… the twelfth.” I responded and she looked up at me.
“That was a few days ago.”
“That’s the crazy part. I’ve been having my regular periods.”
“It happens.” She shrugged. “Well, let’s find out, shall we.” She got up from the desk and led me behind the partition where an exam table stood near the Ultrasound Machine. She gave me a paper gown, directed me to the toilet and told me to strip.
I came back out, feeling the cold air on my lady parts as I laid onto the exam table. “Bring your knees up.” She informed me and I complied.
She asked me a few questions as she placed the blue gooey gel on the top of the long-ass probe. Holy shit balls what is she going to do with that? Ew, it has a condom on it? Nope, not today! “Um, what is that for?” I asked with wide eyes.
“This is used to detect early pregnancy that a normal sonogram wouldn’t be able to. Don’t worry, it’s no bigger than an average-
sized pee-pee.” She smiled. Did she just refer to penises as ‘pee-pees’? “Relax. It’ll feel a little cold at first and weird, but it’ll be over before you know it.” She reassured me, and before I could respond, she stuck it inside. Whoa, that gel thing was cold, and god damn this didn’t feel like no regular pee-pee! She pulled out instantaneously. “That’s it?” I asked, completely confused.
“You are much, much further along. You don’t need this. I have to do a transabdominal ultrasound.” She then told me to put my legs down and to raise my gown.
She placed more of the blue gel on the end of the other transducer probe and placed it on my stomach. Damn, shit was cold! She began passing it around and freezing the images and entering some stuff, showing me the head and heart. My eyes welled up with tears. This is real. The baby is real, very real. I was amazed, shocked and anxious all at the same time.
“You’re eighteen weeks pregnant.” She informed me. “Do you have a doctor?”
I shook my head. “I never really got around to that. I’m just a student here, was not planning on any of this.” I replied, knotting my fingers together.
“Here.” She handed me a piece of tissue to clean up myself. “Well, I suggest you get one, and start taking your vitamins. Here.” She handed me a call card. “Dr. Edwards is a really good doctor. He would take great care of you and the little one.” She smiled. “Good luck.”
“Thank you.” I breathed. The little one. Her words echoed in my ear and I placed my hand over my stomach.
I then cleaned up, made my payments and walked out of the building. My mind so unaware of everything around me as I drowned in my thoughts. I sat in my car, silently, in deep thought. Eighteen weeks? There it is huh? The thing that’s going to destroy all that I have with Heath, including my reputation. He’s gonna know the truth. It was time to let Jake know that I was carrying his baby, and that I didn’t even know how to begin to go through with an abortion.
In The Spur of Heath (The Spur Series Book 1) Page 26