A Widow Plagued

by Allie Borne

  “Twas as if I was in a dream. I recall rushing down the steps to the hall and several servants looking up to me as I came. They all heard me, but they dropped their head and went about their work. Rushing into the kitchen, I found Millie.

  “'Please, Millicent,' I begged. 'Thou must aid the Lady. She is bleeding! She will die! Thou must help her.'

  “Millie placed a calming hand on my arm, then turned me back toward the solar. Together we climbed the stairs while the servants pretended to not notice. By the time we returned to the solar, Lady Sanders was dead.

  “'I will send for the priest and a nurse maid,' Millie said to me woodenly, then covered Lady Sander's broken body with a sheet.

  “I remember hugging Hannah too tightly against me and her tiny, kitten cry. I ran with the bairn to my room and held her on my bed, frightened for what the Lord Sanders might do about his dead wife's bastard.

  “By nightfall, the wet nurse arrived and was able to coax Hannah into feeding. I sat close by her side, taking the child from her whenever she was finished. Lord Sanders did nothing. He did not acknowledge Hannah, nor did he deny her.

  “Twas not so different from any other female infant, really. My mother named her Hannah and we all went about our business at raising her a lady. Hannah never knew the story of her birth, and I never wish her to.”

  Sara looked up at Gavin. Gavin stared back at Sara. They had more in common than he had realized. “I will do my best to keep Hannah's lineage a secret...Tell me, how did ye come to be married to Lord Sanders?”

  Sara sighed. “My father's land is a small parcel, but it is valuable. It runs along a tributary. Whoever controls the tributary, controls the goods that come into and out of the region by boat. Lord Sanders was able to ship goods quite cheaply and made a tidy profit.

  “My cousin arrived one day and demanded the land be turned over to him. He insisted that Lord Sanders had no rightful claim. Sanders married me to protect that claim.”

  Gavin nodded. “It seems, then, that Sir John will likely be meeting us at Windsor . He has some claims to make against Lady Hannah, and he, no doubt, will relish doing so in front of the court.”

  Sara gasped and leaned toward Gavin. “Please, we must stop him.”

  “Ye told me he said as much to thee at the creek. Why, then, didst thou risk all our safety by meeting with him tonight?”

  Sara shook anew. “He said he needed only one small favor from me. I thought that if I met him, I could find out more about what he planned.”

  “Did ye?”

  “Aye,” Sara dropped her head.

  “Speak,” Gavin prompted.

  “He asked whether we had consummated our marriage. I refused to answer, and he laughed, assuming we had not. I-I told him that we had shared a marriage bed, but he was unconvinced. He moved towards me to lay hands on me. It was then I ran and had to escape his man.”

  “He thinks to take ye for his own,” Gavin growled. “He will not.”

  Grabbing Sara by the arm, Gavin whistled softly. Thomas jogged up to await Gavin's orders.

  “Keep watch over the wagons for the remainder of the night. Ye can all take turns sleeping in the wagons tomorrow, while we travel.” Thomas nodded, and returned to monitoring the perimeter.

  “We should be safe enough. I'd wager Sir John will move his men to beat us to the king.”

  “Ye'll stay with me tonight,” Gavin stated, guiding Sara towards the men's wagon.

  “I'll be fine with the others-”

  “Nay-ye are my wife and ye'll stay with me.”

  Gavin lifted her onto the wagon's small ladder, and she climbed into the small space. Just as in her wagon, a feather tic took up nearly all the floor space. Sitting down with a flop, she leaned to remove her leather turn shoes.

  “Sara?” Gavin hedged.

  Sara craned to look up at his darkened, towering figure.

  “How fares thee?”

  Sara sighed. “I will be well. Sir John can malign me as he so wishes...Tis Hannah that worries me.”

  “I can protect her, Sara. The only folk who could state for certain Hannah's legitimacy are her sires and they are dead. She was born within wedlock to Lord Sanders, and thus she is his daughter, just as Elizabeth is mine.”

  Sara sighed and stretched out on the mattress. “I will pray the king sees it that way, Gavin.”

  “If I have my way, the king will never hear a word about it,” Gavin growled, seating himself next to Sara and pulling off his tall boots.

  Sara smiled. Gavin turned to her and the light from the moon revealed his frown. “I'll not chastise ye again for running off, Sara, but I would have yer word ye will never do so again. I can nay protect ye if I do not ken where ye are.”

  Sara's frown matched Gavin's. “I promise I will not leave without telling ye first,” Sara swore. She knew she had been foolish and naïve in thinking she could take on Sir John alone.

  “Sara...”

  “Aye, Gavin?”

  “I cannot protect ye and Hannah, if our marriage is annulled.”

  Sara shivered. “Sir John states he will kill ye to marry me. He couldn't possibly think-”

  “Aye, he has already proposed we have not consummated this marriage. We must make our marriage complete afore we face the king. I will lie with ye tonight.”

  Sara's sharp intake of breath indicated her surprise. “It has not yet been six weeks since Elizabeth was born. Millie said we should wait until then.”

  “Are ye still bleeding?”

  “Nay...”

  “Then tis time enough.”

  Gavin began removing his clothes as a soldier might don armor for battle.

  “P-please, Gavin, I have had a very trying day and, and I am frightened.”

  Gavin paused in removing his chauses and looked into the darkness of the wagon, toward Sara. Grunting in response, Gavin pulled Sara close to his side. Laying back with her upon the tic, he whispered. “We live in a time of war, plague, and pestilence. Most days will be trying days. Most days will give us something to fear. We cannot wait to live our lives free from such. We will grab what happiness that we can, when we can.”

  “I think we should wait,” Sara whispered.

  “I think whenever we do this, ye will be frightened. I think we have risked much already, waiting as long as we have. I dare not wait longer.”

  Sara lay back against the feather tic and sighed.

  A long silence ensued. Then, Gavin again sat to remove his chauses. Thus disrobed, he rolled onto his side and found the bottom hem of Sara's gown. With two hands, he easily slipped it up and over her head. Quickly, he pulled a thick blanket over them both, to protect against the night's chill.

  Sara shivered as Gavin pulled her bare frame firmly against his naked body. Cupping her bottom with his free hand, Gavin hugged her tightly, giving her time to adjust to the sudden intimacy. Several minutes passed before Sara relaxed her muscles.

  Gavin rewarded this gift of trust with a slow kiss. Sara's lips softened to his and Gavin lessened his hold, using the available space to press gentle kisses along her brow, nose, and jawline.

  “Mmmm,” Sara hummed in contentment, prodding Gavin to roll her onto her back. He reached out to caress her breasts and covered each pink tip with his tongue in turn. Kissing his way back up her neck, he plundered her mouth once more. Sara responded, opening her mouth and welcoming his caresses.

  Gavin’s arm slid beneath Sara's neck, and he deepened the kiss. Sara felt hot and flushed. Her focus became the intimate sensation of Gavin’s tongue within her mouth and the hot throb between her legs. Moaning, she lay back against the covers as he relaxed his arm.

  Before she could feel the cool air against her skin, Gavin ran his hand across her stomach and between the cleft at the apex of her legs. Sucking in her breath, Sara tried to sit up. “Relax, Cara Mia, relax, My Dear,” Gavin whispered in her ear. “Ye feel so good. I just want to touch ye.”

  Sara relaxed and let the sensations t
ake over. Her body flooded with heat, and her thighs fell open wantonly. Rising above her, Gavin eased himself within her. She was tight and pulsing about him. He forced himself to move slowly, reminding himself that he took her, not for pleasure, but for sealing the sanctity of their marriage.

  Sara's hips rolled, seating him deeply within her moist, wet channel. Rocking into her, Gavin lost his prized control. She was everything feminine. Her soft warmth enveloped him. Instinct took over. Pumping himself into her, he shuttered as his seed poured.

  Gavin regained his senses to find he had collapsed atop this wife. Rolling to the side, he ran his palm along her cheek and felt it wet with tears. Peering down at his young wife, aghast, he cupped her wet cheek. “Have I harmed ye, Sara?”

  Sara shook her head. “N-no. I am fine.”

  Gavin wished he could see her face, to assess the truth of her statement. Instead, he sighed and pulled her closer to him. “If I have done something wrong, thou must tell me.”

  “I am fine, Gavin. It has just been a long day.”

  “Well, rest well, My Dear.”

  “Good night,” Sara whispered. She knew not what to do with her body. Gavin had not let her go, but cuddled her against his form. His hand remained over her private area in a proprietary gesture. Sara’s emotions swirled. She could not make sense of how she felt. She wanted to cuddle closer and leap out of bed simultaneously. She felt guilty for having met, wedded, and bedded a man all within the same year of her first husbands death.

  And yet, it felt good to drift off to sleep feeling safe and sated. Stretching, she placed a small space between herself and Gavin before drifting into a fitful sleep.

  Chapter 8

  All the King's Men

  The day before they arrived at court dawned grey and drizzly. Quickly, Sara slid from Gavin's embrace and donned her kirtle. Slipping from the men's wagon, Sara dashed over to the women's. Pulling Elizabeth from Millie's grasp, Sara snuggled beneath the quilt to nurse. She was cold and confused as to how she felt about her feelings for Gavin. Today, she would stay warm and dry with Elizabeth in the wagon. Roused by Sara's entrance into the wagon, Hannah donned her cloak in preference for the fresh air.

  “What?” Hannah challenged, when Sara eyed her dubiously. “I cannot abide riding in the wagon. The way it sways makes me ill.”

  Sara said nothing but rolled back over. Millie laughed. “She's smitten, is all. Let her have these few months to feel over the moon for the young man. Courting is such a short time in a young lady's life, before all the demands of womanhood come crashing down about her. Ye can't deny the girl a bit of starry eyed romance, can ye now, My Lady?”

  Sighing, Sara responded. “Nay, I do not. I just don't understand it, is all. I never had stars in my eyes, when it came to a man. They are very base creatures. I just don't see how Hannah can nay see that.”

  “Ach, do nay act like ye did not sneak back into this wagon after being with yer own bonny groom. Besides, she can see the frailties in most men. But for now, she can nay see it in Sir David. If she is truly blessed, she'll always have a blind spot for her man. Tis the only way to forgive him all his frailties. We can also hope that he will do the same for her.”

  Sara sat up and looked at Millie. “Ignoring other's weaknesses can be dangerous,” Sara looked pointedly at Millie.

  “Notignoring, my pet,forgiving. These are two different things. We can acknowledge the faults in others and still forgive them their trespasses, as they, we hope, forgive us for those times we harm them with our mistakes.”

  Sara felt chastised, and for good reason. She had not given any quarter to Gavin for his cursory treatment of her, nor had she examined her own behavior.

  “Put on yer cloak, Lady Sara; ye ride with me today,” Gavin's voice called out from the foot of the wagon.

  Sara looked over at Millie, her face stricken. Millie winked. “Ye'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, My Lady.”

  Handing the milk drunk Elizabeth to Millie, Sara sighed and slid from the wagon. She never had understood that saying. Why would anyone want to catch a fly?

  Gavin enjoyed the feel of Sara's backside against his hands as he lifted her up unto his horse. Swinging his leg up and over the beast, Gavin pulled Sara back onto his lap, her legs off to the side. Despite his mixed feelings towards her, Gavin lusted for Sara with ever-growing intensity.

  Slating his lust last night had only seemed to fan the fire within his gut. Having no privacy with Sara would surely drive him mad. Gavin cantered up a bit ahead of the group to give them solitude for speaking. Yet, he held his tongue for several long minutes, relishing the feel of her backside against his thighs. The smell of her skin in the morning reminded him of heather, when the dew still clung to its tiny leaves. It was all he could do not to nuzzle her neck, so close it swayed before his mouth.

  How could he still ache for her so, knowing she could barely stand to be in the same space with him? Even now, she sat stiff, straight-backed on his lap, avoiding any unnecessary contact. As much as Gavin longed to break past her cold exterior, he refused to give in to her.

  Gavin new Sara wanted him to concede to her wishes and annul Hannah's wedding contract with Sir David. Yet, as head of the household, he could do not such thing. The contract was in everyone's best interest, whether or not Sara understood. Besides, if he allowed her to sway him now, his position would be weakened throughout their marriage. Twas better to stand ground now, than fight an uphill battle later.

  Thomas had laughed at him when he'd used that analogy the night before. “As long as ye see marriage as a battlefield, My Lord, thou wilt be taking casualties. I was married to my Ana for fourteen blessed years afore the plague took her. Marriage is nay a battle, My Lord, tis a yoke. Ye and yer lady wife are like two oxen, joined with a yoke. The more ye pull in opposite directions, the more the yoke chafes and weighs on ye both. I should know. Ana and I did nay choose to marry.

  “Those first two years were a might rough, I'll tell ye true. Yet, when we started working as a team, our burdens became lighter, the work easier. After about eight years, we oft forgot the weight of the yoke, fore the ease with which is allowed us to carry our load together.

  “That's all ye need, My Lord, a way of moving and working together. She is not yer soldier to order about and ye are not simply a knight, bound by some code of chivalry to cater to her every whim. Ye are a team, ye ken?”

  As much as Gavin loathed being compared to a pair of oxen, the thought stuck with him. He had to find a way to work with Sara. Thus far, they had been looking after their individual goals, rather than forging a path together. That stopped today.

  “Sara, I have decided to stop treating ye like a soldier and start treating ye more like a lady ox.”

  Sara's head whipped around, and she squinted her emerald eyes at Gavin in wary confusion. “What I mean to say is, ye are my wife, not my soldier, and we must work together to carry our heavy load.”

  “As much as I appreciate being elevated to the lofty status of 'lady ox', I am not so certain I follow yer reasoning, My Lord.”

  Sara bit her tongue. Why was it so important to her to be clever with this man, rather than try to understand what he was saying? Didn't she want him to communicate with her? “What I meant to say, Gavin, is that I don't quite understand.”

  Gavin grunted and continued. “If we are to run a household together, we must see it as a task that takes us both moving in the same direction. If ye pull one way and I pull t'other, we will stay in the same place, with only a kink in the neck to show for our troubles.”

  Sara laughed, finally understanding the analogy. “So we are like two bull-headed oxen, is that it?”

  “Aye,” Gavin chuckled, “we are.”

  Sara sighed and leaned back against Gavin's chest. “Well, then, 'Lord Ox'. I do believe I am tired of this pain in my neck. Where shall we go from here?”

  Sir Gavin's heart soared. Twas not an impossible task, taming this woman, he supposed.
Wrapping his arm about her waist, he pulled her more tightly against him.

  ~

  “I do nay feel safe bringing our wagons into the city,” Gavin pulled up short at the top of a rise. “T'would be near impossible to protect them amongst the teeming masses therein. I also have qualms about sleeping within the city's filth and disease.”

  Sara nodded, feeling an uneasy churning in her stomach. “T'would it be possible to pay a local farmer to use his outbuildings and still sleep in our wagons?”

  “I'll send Thomas to inquire about. We can always use one wagon to ride to Windsor, then leave the other with an inn keeper, I suppose.”

  Sara shrugged, she knew nothing of city life and now that the visit to court was upon them, she hoped desperately that their encounter would be brief and uneventful.

  Adventure was well and good in theory, but the reality was something else all together. She wanted her children to be safe and secure. By this time tomorrow, she hoped their future would be well protected. The king had the power to turn her entire world upside down, if he so chose. She prayed that he would be too caught up in this war with France to care two wits about the small country estate.

  Thomas had returned within the hour, having bartered an agreement with a local inn keeper. “He says with court being in session, his inn is full, but he has an available out building we can use to store our horses and wagons. His price is steep, but fair, considering how much he could make, boarding horses in our stead.”

  Gavin agreed, and they moved up the road.

  The cock crowed the next morning, just as the small entourage pulled from the over-sized barn. They had all barely slept, in anticipation of the big day. It had not been a problem to rise and dress long before the break of day. Sensing everyone's ill ease, Elizabeth had been up half the night, insisting on nursing and snuggling with her mother.

  Lady Sara feared there would be dark circles beneath her eyes, when she made her curtsy to the king. Mayhap the great hall will be dimly lit, she smiled to herself. Elsewise, a poor showing I'll make,indeed.

  Gavin and Sir David had both opted to wear the blue tunics for which Lord Sander's household was known. They had shined their boots and scabbards the night before. Knowing they would have to surrender their swords at the door, they also polished them until they glistened. Thomas and James would ride on the wagon bench and wait outside the castle gates, while the family entered on foot.