by Joan Jonker
Agnes’s grin stretched from ear to ear. ‘I’ve missed yer, sunshine. The place has been as quiet as a bleedin’ graveyard without you nattering away all day.’
Kitty looked at the young girl standing by the table. ‘And you’re Jessie, are yer, queen? Well, I’m glad to make yer acquaintance. How are yer settling in here?’
Jessie grinned. She only had to look at Kitty to know she was going to like her. ‘I still can’t find me way round yet ’cos there’s so many rooms. But me mam said it’s only natural, and I can’t expect to learn everything in a couple of days.’
‘I’ve been here five years, queen, and I still haven’t learned everything.’ Kitty’s chuckle turned into a full-blown laugh. ‘I got used to the house in a couple of weeks, but I’m blowed if I can get the hang of some of the people who live in it.’
‘I’ve got a few tales to tell yer later, over a cup of tea.’ Agnes pursed her lips and nodded her head to infer that what she had to say was ripe for the telling. ‘Yer see, it doesn’t pay to play silly buggers and take days off, ’cos yer miss all the excitement.’
‘I didn’t get sick on purpose, queen, I couldn’t bleedin’ help it! And I wouldn’t have stayed off if Mr Robert hadn’t been so idimant.’
The housekeeper’s head fell back and she roared with laughter. ‘I didn’t know Mr Robert was sick as well!’
‘He wasn’t sick.’ The cleaner’s eyes narrowed in puzzlement. ‘He wasn’t, was he?’
‘You said he was!’
‘I never said no such thing!’ Kitty looked at Jessie for support. ‘I never said he was sick, did I, queen?’
Jessie was really enjoying the exchange. She didn’t know what it was about, but she did know that since Kitty arrived the kitchen was a much warmer place. But she thought it wise not to take sides. ‘I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening.’
‘I think yer’ve gone soft in the head, Agnes Weatherby. Yer’ve missed me that much yer’ve gone doolally.’ The cleaner adopted a dramatic expression. ‘Yer should be down on yer hands and knees thanking me for coming back in time to save yer from the men in white coats. Them what cart people off to the looney bin.’
‘Don’t be getting carried away, Tilly Mint, yer’d never make a Greta Garbo. And it was you what started all this by saying Mr Robert had been so idimant!’
‘That’s not the same as saying he was sick, is it? Bloody hell, girl, yer can be as thick as two short planks sometimes. It’s a good job yer can cook, ’cos yer’d never get a job doing anything that needed brains.’
‘So although idimant sounds like a sickness, it isn’t?’
‘Of course it’s not, yer daft ha’porth! Ooh, do I have to spell it out for yer? Idimant means, er, means, er, means determined, like, yer know.’
‘No, it doesn’t! Adamant means determined, sunshine, and that’s the word yer were after.’
Kitty looked puzzled, then the penny dropped. ‘Well, I’ll be buggered. Yer’ve been pulling me bleedin’ leg all this time, and I fell for it. Yer daft nit, we could have had the landing and stairs done by now!’
Agnes kept her face straight with great difficulty. Oh, how good it was to have the little woman back. ‘Yes, and you won’t half cop it off Miss Edwina if the landing and stairs are not done before she comes down to breakfast. Yer’d better get yer overall on, and yer skates, and go like the clappers. Jessie’s got all yer cleaning utensils ready and she’s waiting for the off. Just tell her where to start and make sure there’s nothing lying on the floor when the family come down. Mind you, there’s only two up there. Mr Nigel went out early with his father, and Miss Abbie left just before you came. And eh, guess what? Miss Abbie had her breakfast in here. She said it was more homely than sitting on her own in the dining room.’
Kitty screwed up her thin face. ‘Aggie, will yer shut yer cake-hole, please? Or are yer keeping me talking deliberate, like, so I get into trouble with the queer one?’
‘Now would I do that to you, who’s me best mate! If I hear one raised voice out there, sunshine, I’ll be out like a shot with me broom in me hand and clout anyone who dares to upset yer.’
‘Come on, queen, let’s go.’ Kitty winked at Jessie. ‘Once Aggie starts gabbing there’s no holding her. She’ll talk till the bleedin’ cows come home, only stopping for a breath every now and again. She can’t help it, though, poor bugger. I reckon when she was born, instead of crying, she came into the world reciting her two times table.’ She pulled Jessie to a halt at the bottom of the stairs, to add, ‘And d’yer know what, queen? She never did get past her two times table. Ask her what three times three are and she’s got to count them on her fingers.’
Agnes crept out of the kitchen behind them and watched as they walked up the stairs. Kitty was holding her long black skirt up so she wouldn’t trip up on it, and the sight brought a smile of affection to the housekeeper’s face. ‘The elastic’s gone in the leg of yer knickers, Kitty,’ she called softly. ‘I can see yer’ve got yer best blue ones on today, is it someone’s birthday?’
Kitty’s head went down as she lifted each leg in turn for inspection. Then she spun around and stuck her tongue out. ‘Thought yer had me there, didn’t yer, soft girl? Well, as yer can see, I’ve got me pink ones on and the elastic has got more bounce in it than you have, so there, clever clogs.’
Agnes looked at the far too thin legs, and filled up with emotion. How anyone with so little flesh on them could come out to work every day, and work hard, was beyond her. She deserved a bloody medal, and that’s a fact. But the housekeeper knew the last thing Kitty wanted was pity. ‘Just look at the state of yer legs! They remind me of knots in cotton.’
Just then they heard a door closing on the landing and three pairs of eyes looked up to see Edwina walking towards the stairs. ‘Oh, I see you’ve decided to show your face today, Kitty.’ There was no smile, no greeting and no enquiry about the cleaner’s health. ‘Am I to be told why you are so late starting, and setting a bad example to the girl?’
While Kitty and Jessie stood rooted to the spot, afraid to even blink, Agnes stepped on to the first stair. ‘Oh, they’re not just starting, Miss Edwina. They’ve been hard at it for nearly an hour now. I’m sure yer’ll find the dining room meets with your approval, and the two cloakrooms. It’s a wonder yer didn’t hear them moving the furniture about – I could hear them from the kitchen! Still, I expect yer had a busy day yesterday and being overtired yer dropped into a deep sleep.’
Edwina didn’t quite know how to react. She’d look a complete fool if she made an issue out of it and was proved to be wrong, but she was sure there’d been a hint of sarcasm in the housekeeper’s voice. ‘You can rest assured that I will check it has been done to my satisfaction.’ She made her way down the stairs, a hand trailing lightly over the wide mahogany bannister. ‘If I am not satisfied there will be some explaining to be done.’
‘I’m sure yer’ll find everything gleaming.’ Agnes, following closely on Edwina’s heels, turned to give a thumbs-up sign to the woman and girl standing halfway up the stairs with their mouths agape. ‘I’ll bring yer breakfast through now, and Miss Victoria’s, ’cos she should be down any minute. And I’ll eat me hat if yer tell me yer can find a speck of dust anywhere.’
‘Holy sufferin’ ducks! I’ve bleedin’ well had it now!’ Kitty wiped the back of a hand across her brow. ‘There’ll be a layer of dust on everything in there, and the Missus will go over every inch with a fine-tooth comb. She’ll be on her hands and knees looking for something to complain about and I’m the one that’ll get it in the neck.’
‘Why?’ Jessie asked. ‘She won’t find any fault with the dining room ’cos me and Aggie gave it a good do. We used that much elbow grease, we were sweating cobs when we’d finished. It looks a treat and everywhere’s shining so much yer can see yer face in it.’
Kitty studied the fresh, pretty young face before cupping it between her hands. Standing on tip-toe, she kissed one of the rosy cheeks. ‘Oh, thank
you, queen, yer’ve saved me life. And me mate, Aggie, of course. I love the bones of both of yer.’
Jessie grinned. ‘Aggie said yer’d be made up. She wanted it to be a surprise for yer.’
‘It was a surprise all right. Trouble was, she should have told me before I nearly had a bleedin’ heart attack! I really thought I was for the high jump.’ Kitty’s thin face broke into a smile. ‘Still, all’s well that ends well, eh? And I’ll tell yer what, queen, I’ll pay you and Aggie back with interest.’ Looking a lot happier, the little woman jerked her head upwards. ‘Let’s get up there before Miss High and Mighty comes out of her room. I’ve faced one dragon this morning, I don’t fancy facing another. Especially one what breathes bleedin’ fire.’
‘Yer do a good job in the garden, Pete, it looks a real treat.’ Alf Higgins breathed in the fresh air, feeling better than he had done for years. Standing beneath fruit trees in beautiful surroundings, with two men to talk to – well, he felt uplifted. ‘Yer’ve got it well set out with the orchard, vegetable plots, lawns and flower beds. It must have taken years to get it in shape like yer have.’
‘I worked for the people who lived here before Mr Dennison bought the house. So it’s nigh on twenty years now. And I’ve been lucky with me bosses, they’ve let me have the run of the garden, to do what I like.’
‘Every man to his trade, Pete, that’s my belief,’ Robert said. ‘I’d never had a garden before I came here and didn’t know one plant or bush from another. And as I know my limitations, I was happy to leave everything in your capable hands. As Alf said, the garden is a treat, and I spend many hours either sitting in it, weather permitting, or gazing through the window and admiring your handiwork.’
‘It’s not like work to me, Mr Robert, more a labour of love. I’m at peace with meself out here, and I can think of no other job I would get as much satisfaction from.’ He began to chuckle. ‘My wife says I think more of this garden than I do of her. And when I told her the flowers don’t nag me like she does, she threw a cushion at me.’
‘It could have been worse,’ Robert said. ‘The cushion could have been attached to the couch!’ He raised his brows at Alf. ‘Do you want to come and have a cup of tea, or would you prefer to spend more time out here?’
‘I’m enjoying the fresh air, as long as I’m not in Pete’s way.’
‘Not at all. I’ll bring him in when Aggie calls me for me morning cuppa. He’s better filling his lungs with fresh air than his ears with women’s chatter. Twenty minutes’ break morning and afternoon, that’s enough for me. Yer won’t get nicer people, or better workers, than Agnes and Kitty. Their only fault is that they are of the female sex and inclined to be talkative.’
‘I happen to be glad my wife is of the female sex,’ Alf laughed. ‘I’d look well being married to a feller, don’t yer think?’
‘It would raise a few eyebrows,’ Pete admitted. ‘But I’ll say one thing for yer wife, and Agnes, they’re a right pair of comediennes. Sometimes the things they come out with have me doubled up with laughter, and they’re sitting there poker-faced. That makes it even more comical because their expressions are funnier than the jokes!’
There was a look of pride on Alf’s face. ‘Kitty has always been full of fun; even when times have been hard she’ll think up some lark to put a smile on me face. She was very pretty when she was young, as dainty as a doll. And she could dance the legs off anyone.’
‘You’ve got a good wife and a good marriage, Alf, so you have a lot to be thankful for.’ Robert gave him a friendly pat on the back. ‘And now I’ll have to leave you because I have a few calls to make today. But I’ll be back in time to run you and Kitty home, save you waiting around for trams.’ He looked knowingly at the gardener. ‘Perhaps you could bring a chair out in case Alf gets tired standing.’
‘I’ll be all right, Mr Robert, don’t you worry about me. As long as Pete doesn’t mind, I’d prefer to watch him. It was always a dream of mine, when I was young, to have a garden. And this is the nearest I’ve ever got to it.’
‘I’ll have yer pulling carrots up if ye’re not careful,’ Pete joked. ‘I’ve had orders off Aggie that she’d like some for the dinner tonight, as long as they’re big enough.’
‘I can see you two are getting on well, so I’ll be away.’ Robert waved a farewell and hurried to the car. His first call was to be to a jeweller’s in the city to choose a present for Maureen. He had in mind a gold, heart-shaped locket that he could have engraved with their names on the back. Either that or a gold wrist-watch. As he switched the ignition on, Robert told himself he would have a better idea when he was in the shop and could look at several pieces of jewellery before deciding. If it was up to him, he would buy both a locket and watch, but he knew Maureen would refuse to accept two expensive gifts. She was a proud woman who guarded her independence, and for this he admired her. The fact that he had money meant nothing to her; she liked him for what he was, not what he had.
As he drove down Smithdown Road, Robert told himself he must put a couple of hours in at the office to keep on top of things. And, of course, to see how Nigel was faring. He wasn’t going to interfere, but he wanted his son to know he was interested in what he was doing. Then, after lunch he’d keep his promise to Abbie and make a call to the Jamiesons’. Milly would be at work, but her mother, Beryl, should be home in the afternoon preparing a meal for the family. He knew he would get a warm welcome, he always did. There’d be a cup of tea in his hand before he’d had time to sit down. And it was a house he could relax in, and go back to being Bob Dennison, who had once been the proud owner of a horse and cart.
‘Go down the garden for us, sunshine, and tell the two men that the tea is up.’ Agnes lifted the heavy iron kettle and poured boiling water into the dark brown teapot. ‘And tell Pete if he doesn’t get a move on, and the tea is stiff, it’ll be his own fault.’
Jessie pulled a face. ‘I’ll tell him the tea is ready, Aggie, but I won’t tell him to get a move on ’cos that would be cheeky and he wouldn’t like me for it.’
‘No, ye’re right, sunshine, and I’m out of order encouraging yer to be cheeky. If yer mam knew, she’d have me life.’ Agnes opened a drawer and took out a tea strainer. A pet hate of hers was finding tea leaves floating on the top of her cup. The only time she didn’t use the strainer was when Tilly from next door told her fortune from the tea leaves left at the bottom of her cup. Not that anything Tilly ever forecast came true, but it passed an hour away and was a good laugh. ‘Just give them a big smile, sunshine, and ask them if they’d honour us with their presence.’
When Jessie had left, Agnes turned to where Kitty was sitting at the table. ‘She’s been well brought up, that girl, and a credit to her parents.’
‘She’s not half pretty, as well.’ Kitty was sitting on the edge of her chair so her feet wouldn’t dangle, and she was resting her elbows on the table. ‘That blonde hair and bright blue eyes will have the fellers chasing after her in a year or so. And another thing, Aggie, she’s a damn good worker. I’ve only got to ask her to do something and it’s done before yer can say Jack Robinson. She leaves me bleedin’ standing, I can tell yer.’
‘I should think so! She’s twenty-five years younger than yer, sunshine.’
‘Did yer have to say that, queen? Now yer make me feel as old as the ruddy hills! I know I am as old as some hills, but yer don’t have to remind me of it.’ Kitty curled her fists and rested her chin on them. ‘Ay, queen, just out of curiosity, like, who was this Jack Robinson feller? And who was it said he could work that fast yer eyes couldn’t keep up with him?’
‘How the hell do I know! That saying is as old as the ruddy hills yer were on about.’
‘That’s another thing, queen. How does anyone know how old hills are? I mean, like, the only way yer’d really know is if yer had a shovel and yer built the bleedin’ thing yerself!’
Jessie came running in then, her childish giggle bringing smiles to the faces of the two women. ‘Th
ey’re coming when they’ve scraped the dirt off their shoes, Aggie. And Pete said to remind yer that he likes his tea strong enough to stand the spoon up in.’
‘Yer can tell Pete to sod off, sunshine, ’cos he’ll get the tea as it comes out of the pot.’
‘I heard that, Aggie.’ Pete took off his peaked cap and hung it on the hook behind the kitchen door. ‘If yer loved me like ye’re always telling me, yer’d make sure I get me tea exactly as I like it.’
‘Fussy bugger!’ Kitty clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth. ‘Yer don’t have to worry about my Alf, Aggie, ’cos as long as it’s wet and warm, he’ll drink it.’
When her husband smiled down at her, he was seeing the eighteen-year-old girl he’d fallen in love with. ‘We don’t have much option, do we, pet? On hard-up days we’re counting the flipping tea leaves!’
‘Well, sit yerself down, Alf,’ Aggie told him. ‘Seeing as ye’re a visitor, yer can have yer tea weak or strong, whichever yer prefer. And as a special treat I’ve made a batch of scones which I’m now going to take out of the oven. Butter them while they’re still hot and I guarantee they’ll melt in yer mouth.’
‘Ay, you, don’t be spoiling him!’ Kitty waited until her husband was sitting beside her then linked her arm through his. ‘And yer can keep those greedy eyes off him, Aggie Weatherby, ’cos he’s mine.’ She laid her thin face against his shoulder. ‘Aren’t yer, love?’
Alf pretended to give this very serious consideration. ‘Now yer know, pet, I’ve always said I wouldn’t swap yer for all the tea in China, or all the money in the world. But I’ve never said nothing about Aggie’s hot scones, now have I? I mean, like, yer can’t say yer prefer one thing when yer haven’t tried the other! According to you, these scones are out of this world, so I think I should consider me options before making a statement.’
‘Don’t start getting big-headed because ye’re sitting in a posh house, Alf Higgins, comparing me to hot scones. The bleedin’ scones will be wolfed down in five minutes, while I’ll be here for ever. So think on in case I turn the tables on yer and find meself another feller what will appreciate me.’