by Jani Kay
“What?” Beckham and I yelled out.
“Could it be possible? Could Jake be Jacqui?”
“What?” I shrieked again, sounding like a broken record.
It wasn’t possible. Or was it?
What if she were right and Jake was none other than Jaqueline, the girl who’d had a crush on me in high school, who’d tried to convince me to have sex with her in a forceful manner?
I sucked in an alarmed breath. Ha! So much for pushing my past away and starting fresh. There was no escape really. Wherever we went, we took our demons with us. Even if we believed we’d left them behind, they lay there dormant until one incident could make it all come rushing back.
Like now.
The carefully constructed world I’d built for my new self had well and truly come crashing down around me.
Chapter 23 — Levi
I stood outside the door of Montana’s apartment, wondering if it was a wise move to go there at all. She’d stomped on my heart but I was still worried about her.
As part of damage control, Dad had released a statement to the press and board members about the situation, assuring them it was nothing more than lust and working long hours together on a secret joint project that had led to a one-night stand.
In a way I was relieved that the truth had come out. When we'd started our fuck buddy arrangement I’d thought my heart was immune, but of course that had changed. But even if I had my whole family and all the board members’ approval, it was Montana herself who didn’t want more, so I was screwed anyway. She held my heart and my dick hostage, and I needed to talk to her.
Just as I went to knock on the door, I saw that it was slightly ajar, and I could hear people talking inside. Montana and a man, both their voices raised. My heart twisted and my stomach dropped to my shoes. Was that the reason she was done with me? Was there someone else she liked more and that was why she’d dumped me so unceremoniously?
I froze and listened to the guy’s voice.
Jake?
Fuck.
Had I been set up by my lover and the TV guy all along? Were they masterminding this together so he could get a scoop? My blood raced hot through my veins.
What could Montana possibly see in Jake Monroe? I didn’t think he was her type. I was. She’d fooled me into believing she didn’t really like him, but maybe that was just a front to hide her true feelings. How could I be so fucking stupid?
Pushing the door open I stepped inside, fists by my sides, ready to punch something . . . someone . . . anything.
I hated being lied to and played for a fool. But even more, I hated that Montana and Jake had done it so effortlessly all because I was blinded by love. That was exactly the reason I’d never wanted to fall in love, never succumb to being ruled by my fucking heart.
Of course my heart hadn’t listened to my brain. It had done exactly as it pleased, leaving me in a fucking mess. A mess I didn’t know how to deal with.
They say that usually life finds a way to test our worst fears. Clearly, the universe had figured out my weakness and was punishing me for it.
Shuffling closer to the voices, I held my breath and listened. It was wrong but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to know what the fuck was going on and maybe I’d find out soon enough.
“Jake, please.” Her heartfelt plea rattled me.
“I’d rather see you dead than with Levi.” Jake’s voice sounded measured and demanding.
What the fuck?
Adrenaline rushed through my veins and my ears pricked as all my senses heightened.
“Don’t look so shocked.” Jake laughed but it sounded humorless. I wished I could see her. “I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, Monty. How dare you throw that in my face and choose somebody else?”
“Jake . . . Jacqui, oh my fucking God. Is it really you?” Her voice was thin and strained.
Who the hell is Jacqui?
Jake smacked his lips together. “Better believe it, sweetheart.” I could just imagine the smirk on his face. “I know your secrets. I’m sure Levi would find them riveting. Still think he’d want to have sex with you when he finds out what you did?”
What secrets?
“You’re being ridiculous.” Montana sounded angry. “Levi and I are over, so you have no reason to involve him in this.”
I couldn’t just stand there, shifting from one foot to the other, and listen any longer. I bolted forward into the room, making my presence known by planting myself between Jake and Montana. My fists itched, so I opened and closed them a few times, stretching my fingers wide in an attempt to keep calm.
“Well, hello.” My gaze went from Montana’s face, with her big, round eyes to Jake’s face, with his eyes narrowed and his lips pouting like a petulant girl’s. “Since my name is being thrown around, I’m sure you won’t mind me being part of this discussion, will you?” I said sarcastically.
What had Montana been hiding from me? What did Jake have to do with all of this?
“Levi,” Montana said, catching her breath. “How long have you been here?”
“Long enough to know that Jake seems to be threatening you. I don’t care that you think we’re over; I’m not letting some creep come to your apartment and—”
“She’s over you, Levi, didn’t you hear that part? Your little affair has been exposed.” Jake’s lips curled into a snark. What did women see in him? “I’m disgusted by how you used Montana as your pleasure toy and now she won’t find a job anywhere. But luckily she’s got me to look after her.”
I threw back my head and laughed. Jesus, it felt good. I hadn’t laughed in days. “Listen, pretty boy, you’re the one who tried to fuck us over, but now you want to be the knight in shining armor? I don’t think so.” I folded my arms across my chest and stared Jake down.
“The press and social media are all over this,” he said with a sneer, while pointing an accusing finger at me.
I shrugged. “As if I could give a fuck.” I turned to Montana and gave her my best megawatt smile. If I acted confident, maybe she’d give me one more chance. I needed another shot—one where we could openly be in a relationship—and I wasn’t giving up easily. “That doesn’t change anything between me and Montana. I should be thanking you because you’ve just helped us by sharing it with the world, so now we don’t need to hide any longer.”
“Both your careers will be ruined,” he huffed.
“That’s what you wish.” I smirked as I gave him an update. “That’s so fucking last century, dude. My PR team have turned around this ‘exposé’ to show the world that we can all win if we work together, so good luck trying to break us.”
Montana still hadn’t said another word. She was pale and her lower lip quivered.
“Baby, are you okay? You look as if you’re in total shock.”
She stared at Jake as if he had horns growing from his head. Why couldn’t she take her eyes off him? My neck heated under my collar and I tugged at it to get the air flowing so I could breathe again.
“Babe,” I repeated when she didn’t answer. My brows knitted close together, and I gritted my teeth.
She closed her eyes and held up her hand, signaling for me to stop. My insides knotted and my mouth went dry.
“Go. Both of you. Just please leave me alone.” Her voice was firm and unwavering.
“Both of us?” Jake asked, clearly not ready to depart. But neither was I. Something was going on that I still hadn’t figured out. I didn’t feel as confident that Montana would give me that other chance I was there to beg for. My heart twisted painfully. Had I already lost the only girl I ever wanted?
Montana swallowed hard and nodded. Her eyes brimmed with tears, and I wanted to rush to her and pull her into my arms and whisper reassurances into her ear, then kiss the fuck out of those trembling lips. Instead, I stood there dumbfounded. Every time I saw her cry it completely undid me. Granted this was only the third time in a year, but I couldn’t stand seeing her so unhappy.
Jake grabbed hol
d of Montana’s arm and jerked her toward him. His expression was hard and cold. He lifted her face to his with his index finger and thumb as if I weren’t right there watching. “Don’t you know what hell I’ve been through so that you would love me? Are you telling me it was all for nothing?”
“Hey, let her go,” I barked. At first he ignored my request, but then I growled, “Let. Her. Go. Jake.” I wasn’t playing games.
He got the message. His arms dropped to his sides, but he kept his gaze firmly on Montana.
“Please, Ja . . . Jake. I need time to process this.” She was staring at him too, but not in the same way as she used to stare at me. That was different. I craved for her to look at me with that intensity again, but right at that moment, she only had eyes for another man.
Fuck. I raked a hand through my hair, feeling as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. There’s definitely something between them, and I can’t lay my finger on it.
My brain raced at a hundred miles per hour, trying to figure out why Jake had such an effect on Montana. She seemed transfixed, her mouth hanging slightly open as she scrutinized his face. She licked her lips, and I noticed small beads of perspiration on her upper lip and brow. It was the same sheen she had after wild sex and usually I kissed and licked it off her face, tasting the saltiness of her skin on my tongue. I didn’t like one bit that it was happening to her while she stared at Jake.
“You’re a man,” she said, stepping closer and running her fingertips over his cheeks and jawline.
“That I am. Fully functional too.”
I cleared my throat loudly and then coughed, but they seemed lost in the moment; Montana riveted.
Jesus, was he going to take his dick out and show her? I couldn’t stand the thought. Not because I was afraid that Jake’s dick could come anywhere close to the length and girth of The Monster, it was just . . . well, I didn’t want Montana checking out another man’s cock. Not that day, not fucking ever.
Montana rubbed her temples. “I seriously have a massive migraine. I can’t even think straight. And this is all too much. Please show yourselves out.”
With that, she pivoted on her heels and disappeared, leaving Jake and I with our dicks in our hands, so to speak. Jake and I glared at one another. Neither of us would leave without ensuring the other was gone too.
“After you,” I said, holding the front door open for him. He stepped outside and waited for me to follow him. With a smirk, I pulled the door closed behind me, making sure it was locked. If I wasn’t going to be in there with Montana, neither was he. Not negotiable.
Chapter 24 — Montana
I wasn’t kidding when I’d said I had a migraine. I mean, who wouldn’t, with everything I’d been through in the past few days.
Still reeling from Jake’s revelation, I was unsure how to handle this so as not to piss Jake off. Jacqui had a mean streak when she didn’t get her way. Red once wouldn’t let Jacqui drive her dad’s convertible so she’d slashed the car’s tires. I wouldn’t let her kiss me at the party and she’d spread rumors that I was a lesbian and my mother a crack whore.
Jacqui wasn’t someone you crossed without suffering the consequences. She may have turned into a man, but she hadn’t changed underneath all of that. I’d seen it in Jake’s eyes and it frightened the hell out of me.
The best way I could protect Levi was to stay away from him. I shuddered to think what Jake—who now had considerable more means than she did back at high school—would do to Levi.
Or to me.
Jake’s words echoed in my head “I’d rather see you dead than with Levi.” It wasn’t an idle threat or a turn of phrase he’d just used randomly.
I went back to the front door and dead-bolted it. I wasn’t taking chances.
Once I’d swallowed two tablets for the headache, I turned off all the lights and lay on my bed with my phone. I had to call Red.
Just wait until she hears she was right all along when she suspected something was off with Jake.
The phone rang out and went to voicemail. I tried twice more with the same result. With a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and replayed everything from the moment Levi had appeared in my living room.
God, he’d looked so damn good in the track pants that sat low on his hips and the tight T-shirt that accentuated every ripple of his six pack, sending my heart a-flutter just with a smile. All I’d wanted was for him to hold me and make me feel safe like he always did, but that would’ve been suicide in front of Jake.
Truth be told, I couldn’t imagine what Jacqui had been through to become a man. But Jake wasn’t my type. Never would be.
Levi. Levi was my type. Him and only him. Yet I could never have him.
Was this punishment for my sin? An eye for an eye?
A shudder ran through my body.
I jolted upright when my phone rang. I was almost afraid to answer it, but then I saw Red’s face on my screen and sighed with relief.
“Babe, what’s up?” She sounded as if she’d been running a few miles.
“Bad time?” I said. Maybe she was at gym.
“Nope. Just said goodbye to Beckham.” Her words came in short bursts as she caught her breath. “Damn, can that man kiss? I can’t believe you never tried it. I’m breathless.”
I laughed out loud. Red never failed to lift my spirits, regardless of what else was going on in my life. Of all things, I regretted that we’d lost touch for so long. The universe knew better than I did what I needed. Apparently I needed a friend although I’d believed I could go it on my own. Life didn’t have to be so lonely and I was glad that I’d found her again.
“He was saving all his kisses for you, hon,” I said, meaning every word. As much as I admired Beckham, I couldn’t imagine us kissing. Levi however . . .
Don’t go there, Montana. Forget about Levi’s kisses.
“You called three times. Anything wrong?”
“You were right about Jake,” I blurted out, bursting at the seams. How I even managed to stay calm and not shout out the news was a miracle. “I’d forgotten how perceptive you are.”
“I was?” she shrieked. “How?”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “Jake was Jacqueline. She had a sex change. Can you fucking believe it?”
Red gasped. If she was breathless before, I presumed this knocked all the air from her lungs. “What the fucking fuck? I was right!”
I chuckled. “Yeah, that about sums it up. Who would’ve thought?”
“Jacqui gave me the fucking creeps. I couldn’t understand how you managed to stay so nice to her after everything she did.”
“Hmmm.” I rubbed at the spot on my chest just above my heart. “That’s because I learned that if I pissed people off the consequences could be far worse.”
“Oh yeah. For a moment I forgot about your dad.”
“Let’s not go there,” I said, my voice catching. I couldn’t deal with those memories on top of everything that was happening right then. My head still wanted to burst open and now I felt nauseous, too.
“Tell me what happened tonight. Don’t leave a thing out.”
She listened as I recalled everything with only an occasional curse word interrupting me. “The whole thing sounds like a bizarre episode of a soap opera. What are you going to do now?”
I scrunched my face and pulled my shoulders up. “What really puzzles me is why she’s . . . I mean he’s obsessed with me after all these years. It’s freaking me out.”
“Sounds like a deadly crush. Maybe you should talk to the police?” Silence fell between us as I considered the option. I didn’t want to have to deal with making statements. Plus, I was allergic to cops. “You still there? Jake did threaten your life, Monty.” Red’s voice was laced with concern.
“What if I’m wrong and I’m blowing it completely out of proportion?”
“What if you aren’t?”
Damn. She was right. But worse: what if Jake harmed Levi? He’d sure given it his best shot with the expos�
�, but that was tame for the type of revenge Jacqui had meted out before. My gut told me he was capable of so much more.
“I’m assuming Levi doesn’t know about Jacqueline?”
“No.”
“You’ve got to warn Levi.” Her voice was stern. “Tell him about your past and about Jake.”
“I can’t. I don’t want him to know how fucked up—”
“Montana! Listen to me. Talk to Levi. He’s so fucking in love with you, and he has a right to know.”
“No, he doesn’t. I meant it when I said we were over. There’s nothing Levi needs to know if I’m not fu . . . fucking him anymore.”
Red chuckled. “You said fucking. I never thought I’d hear that word from your mouth in a sexual context.”
Good Lord, if only she’d heard the filthy words that tumbled from my lips when I was with Levi. How I begged him to fuck me. My hand covered my mouth. A tingle went straight to my core and my cheeks were hot.
I needed Levi to take away all the bullshit by fucking me hard. I missed The Monster desperately. Hell, who was I kidding? I missed Levi so much my heart ached.
But now more than ever I had to give Levi up. For his own sake. If Jake harmed Levi, I’d never be able to live with it.
Chapter 25 – Montana
Startled, I sat upright in my bed. What the hell were those noises? It sounded like water and it sounded as if it was close—more like gushing. Shit.
Leaning over, I found the lamp switch to turn on the light, but nothing happened. I fumbled in the dark to find the flashlight I kept in the nightstand drawer in case of emergencies.
God, I hoped this wasn’t one of those situations where I had to get out of the building in my pajamas, or rather lack of sleepwear in this case. Since I usually got myself twisted up in clothing because I was a restless sleeper, I’d taken to sleeping in the nude, especially in summer. Even with the AC at full blast, my skin had felt sticky in the humidity, and I hated the restriction underwear placed on my body.
Finding nothing in the drawer, it hit me that I’d used the flashlight in the kitchen a while back. Damn.