by Heather Rae
“You don’t understand,” I bit my lower lip.
“Oh yes I do. Those emotions make you human, love. Once you stop feeling them, once you become numb, you might as well shut yourself off from the rest of the world.”
“I don’t want to see his face tomorrow.” I gnawed harder at my lip.
“You and I both know that there will always be things we have to do regardless of whether or not we desire to do so.”
He caught a long strand of my hair and wound the tight curl around the length of his finger before giving it a soft tug.
“Yeah, well I wish none of this had ever happened. He’s such a monster.”
“I know, but what if you were stuck in a relationship with him years down the road, and then found out the type of man he was? This is a fucked up situation, Nikkia, I give you that. Things could have ended in a different manner though.”
“Don’t think for a second I haven’t thought that,” I sighed.
“And you are not going to walk into that courtroom alone. You are not alone in any of this.”
“I know.” I continued to gnaw at my lip.
“If I may digress…” the corner of his mouth lifted and I nodded my head at him. “Part of me feels as if I owe you another apology.”
“Wha- what the heck? Why?”
“For kissing you. I should say I’m sorry but I can’t bring myself to do so.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I enjoyed it too much, and I wanna do it again.”
“Oh.”
As his mouth descended on mine, I didn’t object.
~~11~~
At 6am, I stood in the middle of the kitchen, sipping my tea and staring out the kitchen window. The pot of coffee had finished brewing and I had already readied Matt’s to-go mug. Mrs. Michaels had volunteered to babysit the kids for me and was due to arrive at the house any minute. On the inside, I was a nervous mess. I just wanted the day to be over with.
Would Tavius argue and spew filth at me? Would I be asked about Dre and his illegal activities? Would I face any repercussions? What about overhearing Tavius’ conversations? How did my life become so damn messy?!
“You look great,” Matt said from behind me, startling me from my thoughts.
“I thought if I at least looked put-together and in control…” I shrugged and turned around to face him. I wasn’t ready.
The powder blue silk shirt was tailor-made to fit his large arms and broad shoulders, and it fit him perfectly, worth every penny he had spent. An intricate knot of silk settled at the base of his throat, the silver clip keeping it neatly in place. Silver bars dotted the cuffs at his wrists and his large feet were encased in Italian leather loafers. I couldn’t help but openly stare at him.
Matt cocked his brow at me as he slung his suit jacket over the back of a barstool. He crossed the room, his nose focused on his morning brew. He lifted the mug to his smiling lips.
“Thanks,” I had finally managed to say.
“And thank you!” His laughter filled the kitchen as the doorbell rang. “Must be Unk and Auntie.”
As he dipped out of the kitchen, I let out the breath I had been holding. Here I was, about to testify against my son’s father and probably send him to prison for a very long time, and I had been mentally undressing a man that I barely knew; the same man that I was sharing a home with. Matt was a man I would have never considered getting involved with on a personal level; he was also a man that had already proven, with just one kiss, I could come unglued.
“This is not the time, Nikkia,” I reminded myself and slurped down the remainder of my tea.
Matt was quiet as he drove. During the ride into town, Mr. Michaels reviewed potential questions that both defense and prosecution would ask. I nodded and answered as I twisted my fingers together in my lap while silently praying again, for a speedy trial.
“Answer honestly, Nikkia.”
“Oh I won’t lie,” I sighed and glanced out of the window. “Not for him.”
“Just remain calm. Don’t lose your head.” Mr. Michaels tried to keep me at ease.
“Right.” I glanced at Matt before falling silent.
We parked and headed into the courthouse. After passing through two security checkpoints, Mr. Michaels led the way to the designated courtroom. The hall we walked seemed endless. Right outside the huge oak doors I paused. Matt caught my hand and gave it a squeeze as I glanced up at him. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath as he reached for the door.
The audience rows were filled with some faces vaguely familiar to me; but my dark eyes narrowed and focused on only one face as I walked down the aisle with my jaw squared and set. Tavius’ eyes were filled with rage as he stood.
“No good bitch!” Tavius shouted at me. “You will pay for this shit!”
I felt Matt’s hand press into the small of my back, urging me to my seat on the opposite side of the courtroom. My spine stiffened as I sat down on the hard wooden bench. I glanced across the room as two bailiffs grabbed Tavius as he continued to curse and shout. I ignored it all; tuned it out and turned it off.
Docket information was read as the Honorable Judge Malloy presided over the courtroom. Before opening statements had been made, the judge immediately fined Tavius for contempt due to his outburst. He issued a warning; Tavius cooperated.
As my name was called, I approached the stand without looking at a single person. I placed the palm of my hand on a bible and raised the other in the air. I listened intently then gave my reply before sitting.
“Please state your name for the record,” Mr. Rhodes, the prosecuting attorney, spoke.
“Nikkia Miles,” I responded.
“Miss Miles, what is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Jones?”
“We were romantically involved with one another. We have a child.”
“How long have you known one another?”
“Approximately 2-3 years now,” I estimated.
“And just how did you meet one another?”
I provided how our initial meeting occurred and proceeded to state how Tavius had pursued me, despite the objections from the defense. Rather simple questions, but I understood my answers painted a picture.
“Had Mr. Jones ever exhibited violent behavior?”
“We had our disagreements just like any other couple. I would not describe them as being violent, but he was a controlling man, insistent on doing things his way,” I answered.
“Did Mr. Jones ever hit you or physically harm you in any way?”
“Yes.”
“When was this?” Mr. Rhodes asked.
“The day of the shooting,” I straightened.
“Please tell us what had happened.”
I sighed heavily and ignored the faces that stared at me intently.
“I had just ended a brief conversation with Dre Carter. I was crossing the salon, headed in Tavius’ direction. From the look on his face, I knew he was angry, I just didn’t know why.” I rolled my shoulders and kept my eyes focused on the attorney.
“What made you think he was angry?” he asked.
“One moment he had been smiling, the next it was as if someone had wiped the smile away. He immediately launched into a verbal attack, cursing me and questioning me in front of everyone in the salon,” I answered and shifted slightly in my chair.
“Questioning you regarding what?”
“He wanted to know why Dre was there, how I knew him, and accused me of sleeping with him,” I cleared my throat.
“Were you?”
“No sir. Dre and I share a child together as well, but we had ended our relationship a long time before Tavius and I started seeing each other.”
“Continue on, Miss Miles.”
“I denied involvement with Dre. Tavius responded by shoving me away from him. I fell, slid across the floor and into one of the workstations. I heard him screaming at Dre; Dre shouted back.”
I reached for the glass of water. I took a long d
rink and closed my eyes for a moment. I set the glass down and looked directly at Tavius.
“The shooting occurred at this time?”
“Yes. Tavius had a pistol in his hand; I don’t know what model it was. He started firing at Dre, who shot back.”
“Objection!” The slick overweight defense attorney shouted.
“No further questions from me, your honor.” He nodded his head at me. “Your witness.”
I waited for the attorney to approach me. I felt a little bad for him. Clearly he had been in over his head taking on Tavius’ case. I was sure Tavius had glossed over the truth and never admitted the truth to his own lawyer. Sneaky, no good, heartless bastard; how could I have been so foolish to love such a man?
“Miss Miles, just how can you be certain that Mr. Jones was not acting out of self-defense? If there was all this shouting and arguing going on, could you not be mistaken?” Mr. Slick and Sweaty insinuated.
“There is nothing wrong with my vision, sir.”
“A man’s life is on the line, Miss Miles. People make mistakes all the time.”
“Objection!”
Before the judge could respond, I interjected.
“I’d like to respond to your statement by saying this. MY life was on the line at that particular moment in time. My children’s, Mr. Jones’ own son and Dre Carter’s daughter, lives were in jeopardy at that moment. Mr. Jones placed no value on our lives, or the lives of the innocent people in or around the salon when he pulled out his pistol and openly fired! Yes, people make mistakes and I fully agree with second chances. But when you intend to kill someone, want to take a life…”
“Miss Miles?”
I glanced over at the judge with angry tear-filled eyes.
“Yes, your honor.”
“I am holding you in contempt. I will remind you that you will answer questions appropriately as they are directed. Do you understand?”
“I do, your honor.”
“Very well. Please strike and disregard Miss Miles’ last response to the defense. We will take a fifteen minute break then reconvene with Miss Miles on the stand.”
I walked out of the courtroom with my chin held high. In the foyer I was met by Matt, shaking his head. I didn’t care. I would give every last penny to the court if I had to. The weight of the world I had been carrying was much lighter.
It was unfortunate and a waste of taxpayers’ monies that the defense had drawn out the trial and testimonies for three weeks. I had to revisit the stand twice to answer additional questions from the defense. While I attended daily, I remained outside the courtroom. I hated the mere sight of Tavius. I despised listening to others testify that they had witnessed nothing. They had all went on to speak highly of Tavius. And it sickened me. The way my brain worked, I would have thought my words alone would have been damning enough for Tavius. I’m sure they were but the almighty dollar was much more appealing to his defense lawyer’s eye.
When the announcement came that the jury had reached a verdict, I had been hesitant about attending. I wanted to put this part of my life behind me once and for all. At the same time, I needed the closure. I needed to hear, to be sure, that I would not have to live in fear. Safety for my children, as well as my own, was of the utmost importance to me. I sat in the very last row of the crowded courtroom as a hush came over the people in attendance.
“We the jury find the defendant, Tavius Jones, guilty of all charges and all counts made against you, including attempted murder, child public and reckless endangerment, and unlawful discharge of a firearm in occupied space.”
“Mr. Jones, I hereby sentence you to be remanded to Alturas Penitentiary to await your sentencing date. Court adjourned.” And the gavel banged.
The world was beginning to right itself. Tavius had been transferred to a facility where he would spend the next 50 years of his life. He could not harm my children or me. Sleep was to come a little easier for me.
What was I to do where Matt was concerned? We had bottled what had been brewing between us as the trial was going on. He hadn’t made a move to kiss me again, and neither one of us discussed it. Now with Tavius locked away, the risk of him threatening or harming me had greatly diminished. There really wasn’t a need for me to remain living under Matt’s roof. We could both move on with our lives.
Matt must have been thinking the same thing. After dinner was finished, dishes done and the kids were tucked in bed, Matt passed by my bedroom and knocked on the door.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah. Everything okay?” I asked and closed the book I had been reading, folding the top corner of the page.
“Come down to the living room.”
I sighed and slid off the bed. By the time I got down stairs, Matt had popped open a bottle of wine. Two wide goblets sat on the coffee table, full of the sweet red I had become fond of. He had a fire blazing in the corner, which had quickly made the spacious room toasty.
“Have a glass of wine.” Matt picked up a glass and offered it to me as I sank down on the large sectional.
“Thanks.”
I sipped and tucked my feet up under me. He sat down, an arm’s distance away, and swallowed a large mouthful of wine.
“So you wanted to talk to me?” I twisted so that I could look at him directly.
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “It is about our current living arrangements.”
“Funny. I was thinking about the same thing earlier.” I chewed my lower lip. “I can make some arrangements if you give me a week.”
“Really?”
“It shouldn’t take me longer than that to find something suitable for us.”
“Something is always available in the city.”
I hadn’t really considered the city as an option.
“Yeah. I’ll, um, give the Campbell’s a call tomorrow. There is a chance they may still have my old apartment open.” I sipped my wine and looked away from him.
“It’s possible.”
Uncomfortable silence settled between us. I had thought it had been one of the most difficult conversations I ever had in my life. I shook my head and drained my wineglass as I stood up and looked down at him with my hands fisted on my hips.
“You know what? I’m gonna save both of us some trouble. In the morning I’ll just take the kids and go to a motel for a week until I find us something better. I would hate to be a nuisance to you.”
“Your words, not mine.” He glanced up at me.
“You came to me. You wanted to talk about this, but it’s like pulling teeth to get you to communicate with me right now!” I stomped my foot at him.
“What do you want me to say, Nikkia?” He set down his wineglass and stood, towering over me.
“Whatever the hell is on your mind, Matt!” I jabbed my finger to his chest.
“A lot is on my mind but I don’t think you’re ready for half of it.”
“Try me!” I shoved at his chest.
I stared up at him waiting for a response. I had given him a full minute. Still, he had said nothing. I shook my head and backed away from him.
“I will never be able to thank you for all you have done,” I spoke quietly. “I wish nothing but the best for you.”
I left him standing in the living room. He didn’t call after me, nor did he follow me. In my bedroom, I picked up the telephone as I sat down on the middle of my bed.
“Mr. Michaels? Hey, it’s Nikkia. I need one last favor from you. I’m sorry, make that two.”
I had looked up as Matt took over the doorway.
“Can you call Shay for me? The kids and I need to stay with her for a week or so. Yes, everything is okay here.”
“You do not need to stay with your friend, Nikkia,” Matt growled at me.
“Yeah I do Matt. Yes, Mr. Michaels, I’m sorry. The second, yes, would it be too much of an inconvenience for you to come pick us up? Tonight, yes. The sooner the better.” I sent an icy glare Matt’s way as he strolled up to the foo
t of my bed.
“Give me the phone, Nikkia.” Matt held out his hand.
“Of course I am fine, Mr. Michaels. With Tavius in prison, there is no need for me to continue to stay here with Matt. Oh no, this was a mutual decision.”
I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes. I slid off the bed as I tossed the telephone at Matt.
“Hello? Hey Unk. No. Of course not, just a slight misunderstanding. Yes. I agree. I hope so. I will let her know. Talk to you soon. Good night.”
Matt had disconnected the call and walked around the bed to replace the handset on its charging dock. His large hand quickly encircled my wrist before tugging me out the doorway. Since I didn’t want to wake the kids, I refrained from screaming and fighting him until we were back downstairs and he slammed me onto the couch.
“You bastard!” I had yelled at him.
“I’ve been called much worse.” He had cocked his brow at me as he held me, pinned down to the soft cushions. “How about we start over again?”
“Get OFF!” I twisted beneath him to no avail.
“Or you can listen while I talk.”
His hand encircled both of my wrists, my arms stretched above my head. My body was pressed against the back of the couch. I had no way to get free from beneath him.
“I told you I would leave,” I had whispered breathlessly.
“See, that’s the problem, Nikkia. I really don’t want you to leave.” A slow smile spread across his lips.
“No. You said…”
“Actually, I didn’t say much of anything. You jumped to conclusions, sweetheart.”
“But you…” My mouth opened then snapped shut. He had a point.
“Stay here with me, Nikkia. We can work out the details or hell, I don’t know, figure it out as we go,” he said as he relaxed his hold on my wrists. “But don’t go.”
The fingertips of his free hand trailed down the flesh of my arm leaving behind goose bumps. They skimmed across my shoulder, up the length of my neck, only to cradle my jaw. His thumb stroked my lips apart as his head lowered.
“Don’t leave me.”
As his mouth took possession of mine, I had no reason to go.