by HELEN HARDT
He tensed up, his brow furrowed. “Melanie, I love our relationship exactly the way it is.”
“That’s not what I asked you. I believe you. I believe you love me and you love our relationship as it is. But tell me honestly. Is there something inside you that would love to see me naked, bound, ready for your pain and pleasure?”
He swallowed audibly, and my eyes were drawn to his Adam’s apple as he did so. Still, he did not respond.
I knew the answer. If it were no, he would have no problem saying so.
But Jonah could not lie to me, any more than I could lie to him. Our love bound us, not just physically but emotionally.
Now I knew the truth.
The only question up in the air was whether I could give in to his deepest desires.
I wanted to try.
I surveyed the wall where the straps and paddles hung. He had given me a slight slap with his hand, and though it had made me uncomfortable, I hadn’t hated it.
“Tell me how it makes you feel, Jonah,” I said. “How did it make you feel when you slapped my behind?”
He sighed. “Melanie, do you really want to go there?”
I drew him toward me, cupped his cheeks, and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you. That will not change. Now I want to know you. Deeply. Please tell me. What do you feel when you slap me on the ass?”
He closed his eyes for a moment. After a few timeless seconds, he opened them. “No one has ever asked me that before.”
“Really?”
“That surprises you?”
“Yes, very much. I love you, and I want to know everything about you. Everything you feel.”
His lips fell into a beautiful smile. “That must be the difference, then. None of my other partners ever loved me.”
I shouldn’t have been so surprised. He had told me as much when we first discussed his enjoyment of BDSM activities. He hadn’t told any of them that he loved them, and apparently they hadn’t loved him either.
“Does that mean you don’t have an answer?” I asked.
“It’s not something I’ve ever put into words, Melanie.”
“Could you try? For me?”
He rubbed his temple, sighing. “For you, I will try. I would do anything for you, Melanie. Anything at all. And although I’ve always known that, I don’t think it hit me with full force until right now. For you, I will try to put this into words.”
He took my hand, rubbing my palm with his thumb. “I see you looking at those instruments on the wall. Yes, I’ve used them, but no, I don’t always use them. Sometimes I only use my hand, as I did on you. But whether I use an implement or my hand doesn’t seem to matter. When I use a prop, it’s for the submissive’s pleasure, not my own. I get the same pleasure no matter what I use. It’s like the riding crop, or the paddle, or whatever I use becomes an extension of me. As it comes down on the submissive’s flesh, I feel it as if it is my own flesh touching hers.”
I closed my other hand over his. “That’s fascinating. I never would’ve known.”
“I’m not sure I knew it consciously myself. Not until I just put it into words.”
“What else do you feel?”
“Although I am the one inflicting the pain, I feel it. I feel it in my hand. The sting, the tingle. It travels through my fingers, up my arm, and into my entire body. It soaks into my groin, and my cock grows hard.”
I nodded.
“And then the redness of the submissive’s flesh… I feel that warmth in my own body, and sometimes, when I looked down at my chest, I become red as well, even though no one has slapped me.”
His words had a dark beauty to them, and although I still didn’t quite understand his full motivation for the play he enjoyed, I was beginning to see a little more clearly.
“In a way,” he continued, “it’s not all that different from normal vanilla sex. When we’re close, Melanie, and you become wet for me, I can feel your arousal, even before I touch you between your legs.”
“I understand. I feel your arousal too.”
“When I’m taking control over a submissive, my arousal becomes almost…” He shook his head. “It’s primal, but in a different way than you’re thinking. I can feel my adrenaline rushing through me. It’s not that I want to physically hurt my partner, at least not in a bad way. But those endorphins that my partner emits as the pain turns into pleasure somehow transfer to me. When she begs for more, my arousal intensifies and comes to a boiling point.”
“From a medical standpoint, that makes sense,” I said. “A person in pain will produce endorphins. They act kind of like… Well, like narcotics. They block the pain receptors and can cause euphoria. But that doesn’t explain why you get those feelings as well.”
“Not from a physical standpoint, no. What drives me is producing it in the person. The feeling of being in complete control of someone else’s pleasure. Something in me opens. I feel every slap of the riding crop, every prick of the needle, every burn of the melted candle wax on the submissive’s flesh.” He closed his eyes. “It’s arousing to be so in control yet so out of control at the same time.”
I squeezed his hand. “I never knew it could be like that.”
“For me, it feels good. It feels right to me to be in a dominant role, to know that another person trusts me that much. But I’ve learned something, Melanie. Although I love being in control of someone else’s pain and pleasure, and though I feel every bit of it myself as if it is happening to me, I have no more power than the person I’m dominating.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it’s not so much about power. If she doesn’t like what I’m doing, she can stop the scene at any time. If I don’t like how things are going, I can stop. It really doesn’t have anything to do with power. The power is equal between us.”
Jonah’s words struck a chord within me. Power. That was the problem I was having with this, with surrendering to him. I was afraid of giving up my power.
But if what he said was true, I wouldn’t be giving up any power, and neither would he. The power would be equal between us. All I needed to do was trust him—trust that he would never harm me.
And I did. I trusted Jonah Steel with my heart, my life.
Now was the time to take myself back.
Chapter Eighteen
Jonah
Melanie stared at me, her green eyes as beautiful as ever, nibbling on that luscious lower lip of hers. That red lip, the lip I had taken between my teeth and bitten on so many occasions, that I had run my tongue over, that I had kissed with wild abandon as well as soft sweetness.
She was beautiful, my Melanie. Beautiful and strong and brilliant.
She had asked me questions in her innocence, and I had answered them to the best of my ability. Had I made a mistake in doing so? I had to believe that I hadn’t. If we were meant to be together, we had to know each other unequivocally. There could be no barriers between us.
I understood that now.
And now I had the answer to the question she had asked at the beginning of this conversation. Was there a part of me that wanted to see her naked, bound, at my mercy?
She probably already knew the answer.
I had fought my baser desires, and I knew I could be happy just making love with her for the rest of our lives. After all, making love took many forms. If my intimate time with her was simply vanilla sex, I could handle that. Giving her up was not an option, and it never would be.
But now was the time for me to be honest. She trusted me, and I owed her that much.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her peachy cheek.
I pulled back.
“I hope this doesn’t scare you,” I said, “but the answer to your original question is ‘yes.’ There is a part of me that longs for your submission. I hunger for it, Melanie. I hunger for those feelings that I have when I’m taking control of another person, but not only because it’s so arousing for me. It’s more than that. It’s because this i
s part of me, and I want to share with you everything I am.”
She smiled. “I can’t say I understand every bit of it, but I want so much to make you happy.”
She fingered the beautiful diamond choker around her neck—the one I had bought weeks ago, the one I had originally planned to give to her as a formal collar, denoting the Dominant and submissive relationship between us.
I had decided to give it to her anyway, regardless of whether we ever had that kind of relationship. It sparkled around her alabaster skin, and I knew no one else could ever wear it, no matter what kind of relationship she and I ended up with. The piece was made for her. No matter what happened between us, I hoped with all my heart she would never remove it.
“I want to make you happy too, baby. So no pressure. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this room. I was being honest when I told you I hadn’t used it in years and that I had eventually planned to get rid of it.”
“I believe you. But if this is a part of who you are, you shouldn’t have to get rid of it for me. It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to do that, and I don’t want you to.”
“I understand,” I said, “but we don’t have to use this room. I am perfectly happy making love with you the way we normally do in our bedroom.”
She smiled. “You said ‘our bedroom.’”
I returned her smile. “It is our bedroom, sweetheart. Everything in this house is yours as well as mine. I can’t imagine ever wanting another woman.”
She stroked my cheek with her soft fingertips. “And I can’t imagine ever wanting another man.”
I leaned forward and took her lips with mine, sliding them open with my tongue. She met my kiss with sweet eagerness. The kiss became more passionate, and when I finally broke it to take a breath, her green eyes were alight with fire.
“Show me, Jonah. Show me what you do in this room.”
I groaned, and my cock thickened beneath my jeans. At least now she knew what she was asking. “Are you sure, baby?”
“I’m sure. Just be gentle at first. I’ll need to go slowly.”
“God, of course. I don’t ever want to harm you. Please tell me you know that.”
She smiled. “I do know that. I believe you with all my heart, and I trust you, Jonah.”
I clamped my lips onto hers once more, and this time the kiss was ferocious, fueled by lust and passion. She began unbuttoning my shirt with her slender fingers, and my heart pounded.
We undressed each other slowly, and when she was naked, her beautiful body bare to my view, I felt, for a moment, that I could be content just looking at her. Basking in the beauty of her, the happiness she had brought into my life, the trust she gave me so freely. The love.
I could see the love in her eyes, and I hoped with all my heart that she could see the same thing staring at her from my own.
My cock was thick and hard, already aching for release. But I would do as she asked. I would show her a little bit of what we could do in this room, of how we could create amazing pleasure for each other.
I wasn’t ready to put her on the table. For now, we would use the bed. The headboard was made of brass with posts perfectly situated for binding. I went to the wall and chose two silk scarves. Silk was never my first choice, because it was harder to untie in case of an emergency, but it was soft and feminine, and after what Melanie had been through during her abduction—being bound with rope and duct tape—I thought silk the best thing to start with.
I would only bind her hands to the headboard and leave her feet free.
I took my dominant stance, standing over her. “Lie on the bed, Melanie. Facedown.”
Her swift obedience surprised me, and my heart melted even further. Here was a woman who loved me, who didn’t understand everything that I was about, but wanted to please me nonetheless.
I swept the soft fabric over her body. “These are silk bindings, Melanie. I’m only going to bind your wrists to the bedpost this time. If you’re uncomfortable at any time, you just tell me to stop, and I will. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” she replied.
The silk caught on my calloused fingertips, but I swiftly went to the head of the bed, took one of her wrists gently, and bound it to the post, not too tightly but enough that her hand wouldn’t slip through. Then I repeated the action with her other hand.
“Does that feel all right?”
She nodded.
“I need you to answer verbally.”
“Yes. Yes, it feels fine.”
I sat down next to her on the bed and caressed the soft flesh of her ass. “Are you nervous, baby?”
“A little,” she admitted.
“Do you want to continue?”
“Yes,” she said unequivocally. “I want to continue.”
“I’ll use my hand this time, unless you want to try something else. Some of the riding crops feel nice.”
“No, just your hand. And start slowly.”
“I love you,” I said. “Thank you for letting me share this side of me.”
She smiled, and the curve of her lips was so beautiful that my heart nearly burst. I was still caressing the globes of her beautiful ass, aching to slap her.
So I did.
She jerked just a little but didn’t say anything.
I smacked her ass again.
And again. And as I did, I felt the tingle through my own body, from my hand, up my arm, traveling outward. My cock tightened. Her ass shone a gorgeous shade of light pink.
“Okay so far?”
“Yes.”
“You’re so beautiful, Melanie. Your ass is so rosy.” I leaned down and kissed her soft cheek. Then I slapped her again.
And again.
My cock stiffened further.
“How does that feel?” I asked.
She turned her head and bit her lip. “It’s…painful…sort of.” But she wiggled her ass. “Again, please.”
Slap! Slap! Slap!
The light pink turned to deeper rose.
So beautiful.
I inhaled and smelled her arousal—that heady scent of apples, ginger, and female.
I climbed behind her and pushed her knees forward so her ass was in the air. I gave each cheek another slap, and then I leaned down to taste her gorgeous pussy. She sighed as I swiped my tongue from her clit all the way up to her asshole. Then I went back down and smacked her ass one more time.
She jerked under my slap, but let out a moan. A deep moan. A moan I had heard many times before.
Her moan of pleasure.
It was happening.
She was beginning to surrender.
And God, it was driving me crazy.
I sucked at her pussy again, slapping her with one hand and then driving two fingers inside her wet heat with the other. I tongued her tight hole and still slapped her ass.
She whimpered beneath me. “Jonah, God. I need to come. I need to come so badly.”
So did I, but I had a lot to show her first.
“You don’t come until I tell you to, baby.”
A muffled whimper was her response. I continued to fuck her with my two fingers, adding a third because she was so wet, so responsive. As I continued to lick her asshole, I went a little longer between slaps. Her ass was so gorgeous and deep pink now. I felt the heat of her flesh through my own body, the pleasure-pain of the stinging, the tingle of a thousand needles jabbing into me.
I had to have her.
“I want to fuck you now, baby,” I said. “I’m going to shove my cock into you, and when I start to come, I want you to come with me.”
Chapter Nineteen
Melanie
“God, yes, please,” I said breathlessly.
He jammed into me. My ass still stung from the spanking, and now as he thrust in and out of me, my entire body quaked. This was why he enjoyed pain play—the tingling, the point where pain and pleasure were indistinguishable. I had found that point.
I wanted more.
He thrust and he
thrust, and I was on the verge of coming, but I held myself in check, determined not to come until he told me to.
He pumped above me, thrusting upward, taking me, making me completely his.
Then he pulled out, waited a few timeless seconds, and said, “I’m going to plunge into you now, Melanie, and I want you to come. Come, baby, with me.”
He surged deeply inside my pussy, and I imploded. My entire body prickled as the orgasm floated through me like a hundred shooting stars.
My whole world became my pussy. Everything I felt in my center I felt throughout the rest of my body. The pleasure ran through my body, coursing through my bloodstream and out my fingers, and then came lancing back, pulsing into me with the strength of a tidal wave.
Jonah groaned above me, clasping my hips, so deeply embedded inside me that we were like one.
I was so in tune with him I could feel the tiny contractions of his cock.
When my orgasm finally began to subside, I pulled at my hands, trying to release myself. I wanted to turn over and touch Jonah, wanted to look into his eyes and tell him how much this had meant to me.
But he had other ideas.
In a few minutes, he withdrew, came to me, and unbound me. I turned onto my back and gazed at him, his dark eyes afire.
“That was amazing, Jonah. I never knew.”
“Baby, that was only the beginning.”
He got up from the bed, rummaged through one of the boxes, and came back with a satin blindfold. He tied it around my eyes.
“Stay on your back, baby. I’m going to bind your wrists to the posts again.”
As soft silk whispered over my breasts, my nipples hardened, and my pussy began to throb. I had just had an earth-shattering orgasm, and I was already ready to go again.
I had no idea what to expect. Again, he didn’t bind my ankles.
For a while nothing happened, and just as I opened my mouth to speak, something touched my nipple. Coldness burst through me.