by Peiri Ann
Nathan tries to side-step me and I match his step. He looks at me like I’m challenging him. “Look, just calm down and let me handle it, okay?” He’s still shirtless, with his jogging pants on and no socks. His hair is tousled atop his head. He takes a moment and steps back, running his fingers through his hair.
He lets out a breath. “Handle it, Tracey—quickly. I can’t deal,” he says calmly.
“I will. Just wait,” I say, grabbing his hand and the tenseness eases.
I walk back over to the window, pushing it back open. Michael is still standing there and all the anger he feels is written all over his face. It hurts for me to hurt him…but not that much. “Tracey, please come down?” he asks calmly.
“Look, Michael. I know I said that when you came back we could try to work things out. But there have been a lot of unforeseen occurrences—well, rather, one huge occurrence and, unfortunately, I’m no longer available.”
His expression softens. “I’m not hearing that, Tracey. I can hear you have another guy there with you. And I know you are not that type of girl, although you hang around those types of girls.” He starts to get upset. “Have they influenced you, making you do these things—sleep around and have guys in your room?” He shakes his head. “Come here so I can talk to you. I won’t be mad,” he says through his teeth.
“This isn’t about you being mad. I’m with somebody else now and, no, I’m not influenced. I’m my own person and always have been. My choices are my own, and don’t down-talk my friends.” Only I can do that.
He stands there for a moment, staring at me. He shakes his head at the same time, rubbing his neck. “Don’t do this, Tracey. You and I have shared a lot of things that you couldn’t have experienced with this guy. I love you, Cey. Just…please come down. Let me change your mind. I can change your mind.”
I look at him for a second, staring at someone I was willing to wait for, and now, about to walk away from. His eyes are sad, and here I am about to make it worse. “I have to go, Michael.” I start to move away from the window and the shit hits the fan.
“What the fuck, Tracey!” Michael yells. “We are supposed to be together. I dropped everything, thought about nothing but seeing you when I got back. I just got back and the first thing I do is rush over to see you. Fuck that guy you have up there. Come down here and talk to me. Let me make this shit go away. I love you, Tracey.” His voice softens. “That guy can never make you feel the way I made you feel. No girl can do to my heart what you did. Come down!” He’s enraged.
I watch him spill out his angry feelings, until I’m pushed softly from the side. Nathan, in all his shirtless glory, has had enough. Standing in the window, he rubs his hand over his chin. I can feel his anger. Michael looks at him as if he is trying to recognize him and he is irritated by him.
“She’s not coming down, she’s not talking to you, and you’re not changing anything besides my mood. And it’s time for you to leave.”
“And who are you? The replacement? You don’t know anything about her.” Michael walks away from my window.
I turn to Nathan, ready to apologize. That is, until I hear banging on my patio door. Oh shit, he is really losing it.
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Nathan bursts. “Do not go downstairs. I’ll be right back.”
He starts to leave and I pull him back by his arm. “Wait, babe, calm down. Please?” He avoids looking at me. “Just look at me.” He does and his eyes swirl between a grey and a night-blue, like Scott’s the day he got angry. He immediately closes them and steps away from me.
“Tracey, just give me a minute.”
“I will give you a minute, but I want you to calm down.” I rub my hands on one of his, trying to push my calm to him.
He takes in a deep breath and lets it go, taking grip on one of my hands, pulling me close. “Thank you,” he says calmly.
I look up to him. He grabs my chin and lowers his head down, placing a soft kiss against my lips. “I know this guy means nothing to you, but I need to handle this. I’m not angry. I just need to talk to him.” Michael is still banging on the door, shouting my name. I don’t know what Nathan is capable of, but having demon’s blood in him says a lot, including his need to control his anger.
I smile. “I’ll come with you.” He gives me a look as if he wants to deny me the option. “I’ll just make sure you don’t kill him. We can walk down, hand-in-hand. I’ll let you do all the talking.”
“Fine.” He drags me to the patio doors. Michael is still banging. He stops, taking a few steps back as he sees us approach.
Nathan slides open the doors and steps outside. I’m behind him, holding his hand, helping him maintain his calm. “I understand you and Tracey had something…before. But whatever that was is now gone, passed. I advise that you accept her decision to move on and that you do the same,” he says calmly and with a stern tone.
“You advise?” Michael looks around Nathan to me. “Tracey, who is this guy?”
“Don’t speak to her.” His calm remains. “Understand she has moved on as she originally stated to you. She’s with me now. Whatever you and her had in the past has past. Deal with that, and move on.”
“Is that right, Tracey?” Michael asks me. I’m still standing behind Nathan. I peek around him, hearing him let go of an aggravated breath.
“Yes, Michael, what we had is over. I’m with him now. You should move on.”
“Okay,” Michael says, backing away slowly. “I understand.”
Nathan backs us into the house. “I’m sorry I left, Tracey,” Michael says, before he turns and jogs off.
Nathan closes the doors behind us, then looks at me. “Let’s go back to sleep, Tracey,” is all he says as we go back to my room. Michael replays in my mind with his ‘I love yous’ and hurt-filled eyes. Had he pulled this last week, things would be a world different.
I follow Nathan, lying down beside him in my bed. He lays on top of the covers, me under, and wraps an arm around me. “Whenever you want to hear ‘I love you,’ or if I don’t say it to you enough, just tell me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I felt the way your heart fluttered when he told you he loved you. I noticed your thoughts, and your desire to hear it from me and just to know that you’re loved.” He grabs my hand, locking our fingers. “The only reason I haven’t said it, was because I didn’t want it to feel weird to you—us fresh, and me already telling you I love you…but I do.” He looks at me. “I don’t care about anything else.”
“I’m really sorry about that.” I’m actually still stuck on the ‘him loving me’ part. I just have to play it cool. Though, I have realized I share those feelings.
“No need to be. I expect for other guys to want my girl.” He kisses my forehead. “I just don’t like it when they don’t listen. Thanks for helping me calm down.”
“Always.”
Day number three together, I have to share with Glen and Scott. Today, we woke up early to Scott calling Nathan’s phone. For whatever reason, he cannot be alone with Glen. Scott missed the memo explaining that’s what couples do. I’m going to get him Relationships for Dummies, because yesterday, he acted like we were obligated to hang out with them. They stopped by last night—again—and Nathan had to talk to him for like an hour to calm him down. They left as the sun was rising—four hours before Scott called.
Today, we travel to a nearby park, where we try to stay as far away from Glen and Scott as we can. I don’t mind staying outside, but it’s chilly, and I haven’t gotten enough sleep these last few nights. From Michael stopping by, acting like a total fool—he doesn’t attempt to call first, just comes right over, without an invitation, after he has been gone forever—and Glen and Scott’s frequent late night visits.
We leave the park to go to a restaurant. Scott is more into it today. He’s happy and it makes Glen happy. I’m content with that. It’s better than listening to them go back and forth about nothing.
I just can’t
wait for everyone to say they are ready to go, so we can go back to my house and I can pass out against Nathan’s chest. These late-night visitors are killing me.
Dropping off Scott and Glen, back at Scott’s house, we don’t get out immediately.
“You want to go to my house tonight?”
“What? Of course.” I hadn’t thought about going to his house, but the idea sounds perfect.
“Okay, we’ll check on Scott and Glen in the AM.”
“Is my whole break going to be filled with Glen and Scott?”
“No, Tracey,” he says, starting up the car.
10: Introductions
It’s early, maybe a little after eight. It’s a thirty-minute ride to Nathan’s house. He pulls into an out-stretched driveway with a big, beautiful white and black house at its end. It is all-white with columns that sit next to the entrance of the front door. Windows galore, accented with black shutters.
It looks like it goes up three stories, lined with brick at the bottom, and aluminum siding on its way to the roof. There is a long garage with two two-car garages in the middle and single car garage doors on the ends. Aligned on the roof of the garage are flowers, hanging beautifully from the gutters. His truck sits out front, and I smile when I see it, remembering my dream.
“You know, we could make that dream into a reality. Right now,” he suggests, letting up one of the garage doors and pulling in.
I’m intrigued. “I think you’re trying to get something started.”
“You’re probably right.” He smiles to himself.
“I’m okay with that,” I say, taking off my seatbelt and leaning over the armrest to kiss his cheek.
He turns and I kiss his lips instead. “Yes, definitely need to make that dream come true.” He grabs my chin. “But first, you need to meet my mother.”
I practically cough up a lung. “Say what?” I look over myself. I am dressed appropriately for a parent meeting. I just don’t know how I feel about meeting his mom. She might think I’m like, wrong for him or something.
“She won’t think that. If you weren’t my mate, she may, but knowing you are here for the long haul, she may love you more than she loves me.” He kisses me again.
“You think so?”
“Yes, love. Come on. We’ll go meet them, let them hug you, then go to my truck. I have somewhere I want to take you anyway. Then we can work on that dream, excluding the horn.” I laugh at that. That damn horn messed up my dream.
I get out of the car, looking down the garage at all the different types of cars. Why so many?
He leads me through the garage door. We walk about a block to get to the front door. Entering the house, his mother is waiting for us on the other side. She embraces me instantly and I hug her back, surprised. She becomes emotional, but her happiness shows. I don’t do well with emotional.
His mother is beautiful, with round eyes and a slim face. A lot of Nathan’s features came from her. She’s small, like me, just shorter and very cheerful. She expresses how happy she is that her son found someone for him, and how she wants me to be comfortable.
I reassure her I will be, and then his father joins us. No emotion showing in him or his voice, although he tells me how glad he is to meet me, but I can’t tell. Nathan stands off slightly when his father steps in, and it makes me uncomfortable.
“We’ll be back later,” says Nathan, directly to his mom. He doesn’t look at his dad. “I just wanted to bring Tracey by to meet you.”
“It is nice to meet you, Mrs. Newcomb.” I smile. I like her. She is kind and pretty. She reminds me of Nathan, in the way she speaks.
“Nice to meet you, Tracey,” his dad says, uninterested, and leaves without waiting for a response.
O-Kay, huh. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home. It’s beautiful,” I tell his mom.
“Oh honey, it’s my pleasure. Now, you both be careful. Nathan, don’t stay out too late.” She grabs his hand, then gives me another big hug. I hug her back.
“We won’t, mom. Don’t wait up for me, okay? Get some rest. I love you.”
She replies with the same, and we leave to walk out the front door and head to his truck. Once inside, I’m reminded of when he had dropped me off. It was just days ago but seems like an eternity. “So where are we going?” I ask, for conversation sake. At this point, I really don’t care.
“You’ll see when we get there.” He turns on the radio and we drive for about ten minutes, until he pulls the truck in front of a lakefront. It’s beautiful. The water sways with the wind and splashes against the bank. It sounds amazing. Apart from the water, it is quiet, and it seems like we have the area to ourselves.
Shutting off the truck, he sits back, but only for a moment, before he reaches over, pulling me near him. I position my body so that I’m facing him. “It’s beautiful out here, Nathan.”
He looks back at me. “Mm, nah, I see something that looks better.” He moves close, kissing me deeply.
There is passion behind his kiss. I move closer so that I can give him just as much as he’s giving me. I run my hands through his hair, loving the way he sneaks his hands under my shirt to touch my skin. He pulls me as close to him as I can go, then moves against me so that I’ll lie down on the seat, as he moves to kiss my neck.
He lowers, and as he does, the buttons from my shirt pop—on their own—exposing my skin, inch by inch. His warm breath against my skin replaces the cold air. Every other kiss, I feel his tongue circle against me, before placing his lips on that same area. I grab his arms—to suppress the urge to moan out against the feeling of pleasure it provides.
I don’t want to do anything to make him stop. It feels so good. He pushes me up, towards the door of the truck, as he kisses lower, down my stomach. He makes sure he covers every inch of it, awaking my nerves and exciting me. Trailing kisses to my navel, the button of my jeans pops open and I let out a soft gasp.
“That was an accident,” he mutters, with his lips against my abdomen. He comes back up to kiss my lips.
“I’m not complaining,” I say against him.
Kissing me again, he says, “Is this better than your dream?”
“Yes, much better. Nice scenery too.” The moonlight seeps through the car just right, touching his face at all the best angels. He is beautiful.
“No, Tracey, you are.” He looks down at me and then at my opened shirt. He closes it over, without buttoning it. He starts to get up.
“No,” I say, grabbing his shoulder and sitting up with him. I straddle his lap. “Don’t stop. I’m not ready for it to be over. Let me keep dreaming.” He looks at me like I’m saying more than the words that came from me. I kiss him softly, but only once.
And then something happens—every desire I feel starts to pour from me and I dive into a seductive kiss. My kisses become deeper and more aggressive, demanding his tongue to sweep inside my mouth as mine does his.
My right hand stays on his neck and plays with the hair on the back of his head. My other plays with the helm of his shirt and the waistline of his pants, my fingertips frequently scratching lightly at his skin.
From his mouth, I move to kiss his cheek, then it meets his earlobe for the first time. I take it in my mouth, nibbling it lightly, then sucking on it, before moving to his neck.
His breathing becomes heavy and his hands move from my back down to my butt, grasping it tight. I make out with his neck and one of his hands moves to cuff my breast. His huge hand grabs onto my right breast with just enough force, firm but not too tight, yet not too soft. His head tilts to it and he starts kissing it. My spots tingle when he removes it from my bra, taking it into his mouth, kissing it and sucking on it lightly. Leaving it out, he moves to the other. I tilt my head back, towards the ceiling of the car, accepting the pleasure his mouth brings to my skin.
I close my eyes, moving my hands to his, as he massages, kisses, nibbles, and sucks me. I’ve never felt anything like it. I softly moan out, and as the kisses and touches start
to fill with more aggression and force, my moans grow louder. I grab his head, lifting it to kiss me.
He grabs onto my waist and I mindlessly roll my body slowly against his. He moves out from the seat, and the next time I move against him, I feel nothing but hard—rock hard—and it sparks pleasure inside me. I stay pressed against it, the grind of my lower-body slowing.
He lets out a low, deep, quiet, growl-like moan against my mouth and I kiss him harder. I want more of him. Both of my hands are in his hair, pulling him harder, closer. It’s soft, like the rest of him, like his lips against mine.
I move my body to readjust myself. He’s not having it, pulling me hard against him. Hard presses against me and my body spasms. I moan loudly against his mouth and his eyes shoot open, showing that bright, ocean-blue that hypnotizes me.
He stops kissing me and pushes me towards his knees. “Stop, Tracey,” he practically whispers.
“Go, Nathan,” I whisper back, already knowing where he is going with this. “Don’t, Nathan.” Don’t stop.
“Tracey.”
I let go of an aggravated breath. “Nathan.” I really don’t want to hear it. He always has to mess up the good moments.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Well, don’t. I trust you. I want you. Just let me have you. I’m not going anywhere and you’re not going anywhere. Right?”
“Right.”
“Then let me have you.”
“Calm down, Tracey.” He pecks my lips, then moves me to sit back up in the seat, putting on my seatbelt. He did that just to keep me from attacking him. He sits back up, laughing. “You want to come back here tomorrow and watch the sun set?”
“Yes.” I’ve never watched the sun set.
“There is a spot a little farther down where we can set up and lay out in front of the water.”
“I think I would enjoy that,” suddenly over my urge to attack him and make him give me what I wanted.
“Good.” He starts up the truck and says, “Fix your shirt,” as he pulls out.