by Peiri Ann
He lays me on the bed and lets me run my hands through his addictively-soft hair. He pulls his shirt off of me and kisses my chest, breasts, stomach, and navel. Asking for permission first, he removes my shorts. He pushes me up on the bed so my feet aren’t hanging off.
He kisses my chin. “Don’t move.” Getting up from the bed, he walks over to his closet. I hear a rustle. He comes back with a couple of my favorite gold wrappers in his hand. He stops by the wall with the light-switch and turns off the big light. The small lamps on the nightstands remain on, like spotlights.
He returns, hovering, looking me over. I lick my lips, and his eyebrows rise.
“Can I touch you?” I’m craving his warmth and the feeling he provides.
“You can do more than that,” he says, eyes swirling, with his voice low and seductive. My toes tingle and I reach around his back, pulling him down against me. His body, against mine, is warm and soft. Nothing like the day when we first met.
I kiss him, and his kisses are sweet—not fully satisfying my need for him. He kisses my neck. I breathe, trying to control my nerves and these damn butterflies that make my bottom lip tremble and my legs slightly shake. All I can think about is wanting his hands on my waist and then him in me.
He kisses the other side with a little more force, hitting all of my vulnerable spots—with his lips following his tongue. The pressure and the pleasure causes me to grab onto him. His hands are on my thighs and his lips are making their way towards my sweetest spot. Hot.
You are really pushing it, Tracey. If you don’t calm down, I won’t be able to control myself. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing, and I am aware of every kiss as I listen to him in my head, still with a seductive voice. He kisses my panty line. Assuming he’s ready for them to come off, I lift. And they come off happily, not giving any struggle.
His hands on my thighs are warm and my breath catches. Kissing my navel, I can no longer feel his hands. I let out a harsh breath and he’s back above me. I am quietly panting as he stares at me with those ocean-blue eyes that had hypnotized me before with the circling of the sand behind them.
He kisses my lips. “You tell me if I go too far.” I look down and he already has his shorts off and the protection on.
I missed that. Not to mention, the feeling of him on me, the other day in the truck, did no justice.
I look back at him. “Okay,” I say softly and kiss his lips. He returns my kiss—slow and intimate. His arm applies pressure to the bed beside my head. He stops kissing my mouth, moving to my neck.
I feel the pressure from the push, and his hand grabs my waist, tenderly. It is more than what I was used to, but he takes it slow. My body shakes in satisfaction for a brief second.
It’s what I have been waiting for, but more than what I had expected. I moan out at times and he tells me to keep it down. Once I get used to it, we change positions, and at some points I take control and he gives the sexiest, manly moan I’ve ever heard.
Then he allows me the opportunity to feel his lips on my back, where I’ve never felt them, as his hands grip my hips in a less-familiar way. He speaks to my unknown in unfamiliar words, and it entices my excitement. He tells me he loves me, countless times. I’m forced to tell him in my mind, since my mouth won’t make words.
It was…beyond words.
14: Assurance
I awaken to the sun shining through the curtains, an arm still wrapped around me, and a body still pressed against my naked body. I turn over and look into green and brown eyes that are looking back at me.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He kisses my forehead. “Good sleep?”
“Yes.” I snuggle closer to him. He wraps me tighter. “You stayed.”
“Yeah.” It doesn’t sound remorseful. He sounds comfortable.
It makes me happy, him being here when I wake up. I kiss his chest wherever my lips place. I move up to his neck, then back down to his chest.
“What are you trying to do to me, Tracey, and at eight in the morning?”
“Shh…” I turn him over and climb on top of him, kissing his lips softly. I move to his neck, to his stomach, then to his navel. Hard rises against my stomach.
I look at him and he pulls me back up to him. He kisses my lips once and says, “Wait.”
Gone and back in seconds, he lays, moving me back on him and him in me.
It’s a little rougher, and less mouth to mouth kissing. A few loud moans escape and he covers my mouth with his hand—I bite it. Again, we explore multiple positions, each one feeling different than the way they felt last night. He gives it to me in a way that makes my body explode into shakes and shivers.
I feel nothing but the beat of my heart trying to pound out of my chest. Sexual satisfaction is an understatement. I’m hooked.
Nathan gives me a few minutes to stop shaking and catch my breath. He walks to the bathroom and turns on the shower water. I turn over to lie on my side, expecting him to get in the shower.
“Uh huh, no.” He picks me up from the bed, carrying me—naked—to the shower. He places me in the shower, stepping in with me.
I know this is not going to end well, watching the water run from his head down to his chest, stomach, navel, and…there. It’s staring at me, already wrapped up.
Nathan grabs my neck with his thumb under my chin. There is no force applied as he pulls me into his kiss. He has the double showerheads on—one that is over us and the one on the wall for the regular shower. The water feels good—hot—flowing through my hair, along with his touches and kisses. Then he offers me the cherry on top of my sundae.
Lifting me up and placing me on top of him, I wrap my legs around him. It feels like my life is complete. I feel…amazing.
It is slower than moments ago, and a lot more intimate. He pushes my back against the wall, giving me all of him as I consume it all. He kisses my mouth sweetly, sweeping in, requesting my tongue to join his. It does.
My arms are wrapped around his neck and my fingers run through his wet hair, while I moan against his mouth. He buries his head in my neck as he increases with more force, in and out of me.
Head back, and his now next to mine, I moan out—my lips brush against his ear—and he lets me, or he doesn’t care. He presses against me, looking up at me. There is a faint night-blue that lies behind his ocean-blue. My eyes widen. He realizes it and closes them quickly.
He places me down on the shower floor. “Go ahead and start washing up. I’ll be back in sixty seconds.” He steps out and returns in that time frame.
He washes me, and then I wash his back as he does his front. I take in all the skin I can, staring at him. It should be illegal for a person to look this perfect. We rinse off and he grabs us some towels, wrapping me first, then himself. He lifts me, carrying me to the bed. I almost pass out in his arms. Laying an extra towel over the pillow to soak up the water in my hair, he lays me down and kisses my forehead. He goes back in the bathroom, then, moving quickly, he goes to the closet and comes back to me, fully-clothed.
“I’ll be back. Go to sleep, and when you wake up, call me. I’ll take you to your car so you can get home to see your mom.”
“Where are you going?” I say through a yawn.
“I need to make a few phone calls. Something happened with the business and I need to check on it.”
“What business?”
“My father’s and mine.”
“Y’all own your own business?”
“Yes, it’s a high-profit manufacturing company. We can’t afford for things to go wrong. And I need to handle some family issues.” He looks over to the door. “Go ahead and get some rest. I know I wore you out,” he says with a cocky smile, then kisses my lips. “Watch some TV, if you want. I’ll be back shortly.”
He pulls the covers over me and I watch him walk to the door. There’s someone on the other side waiting for him, but I can’t see who it is. My eyes refuse to focus on anything but black as my lids slowly close shut. I pull the covers over m
y head, giving into sleep.
What have I done to deserve someone so perfect? I take a moment, staring into the darkness—a deep abyss that is placed in front of me on my journey home. The darkness stares back, tempting me to jump into it, not knowing what is below or if there is anything there. It seems as if I would fall forever—a never-ending fall. I hear it’s not when you hit the ground, but the fall, that kills you.
He pulls me into a kiss—my own person created specifically for me. Backing away, he looks at me with night-blue eyes. They aren’t evil or managed—it is what they stand for that makes them frightening. I try to speak, but my words get caught in my throat, choking me. The darkness starts to rise from the abyss, creeping towards us, slowly.
Night-eyes Nathan reaches out to take my hand and nods toward the darkness. I shake my head, knowing nothing good can lie in what you can’t see.
He smiles at me—a wicked smile—and touches my hand. It feels like fire, burning, and a knot grows in my throat, making it harder to breathe. I drop to my knees from the pain. He watches me as I crawl backwards, shaking my head.
Slowly he walks to me, his eyes showing confusion, but he doesn’t say anything. I beg him with my eyes—unable to speak—not to go, not to make us go. He kneels in front of me. He is beautiful, but it is the wrong kind of beautiful. He is beautiful to me, because he is supposed to be, not because of the way he looks. The front of his hair is slicked back, ending in points—sharp points—all over the back of his head.
He stares at me in a way that seems as if he’s trying to figure me out—head tilting slowly from left to right. He smells the air around me and backs up, slowly standing. His face loses all expression, the darkness creeps up behind, and he welcomes it with open arms.
Staring at me the entire time, he soaks it up, like it is his desire to be consumed. His mouth turns into a smile as I struggle to get up, to make it to him. I try to shout “No!” but nothing escapes, except for tears.
He sees them and is satisfied. He leaps, flipping backwards into the darkness and I see nothing else.
The choke is gone—I am able to breathe. I call his name, but he doesn’t return. There is a knocking sound. I look around, trying to place the sound, but nothing shows. It gets louder. I cover my ears against it, screaming out.
“Tracey, it’s okay! Wake up. It’s okay!”
Opening my eyes to Taylor sitting on the bed beside me, she is just as pretty as yesterday, with her hair pulled to the side, fishtailed over her shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
Taking a moment, I nod my head, realizing I was dreaming. How vivid and real that dream was. Then I realize I am still in only a towel. I pull the covers up to my neck. “Yes, I just had a crazy dream.”
“I’m sorry I just walked in, but you were screaming. Nathan sent me in here to check on you. Once I knocked on the door, all I could hear was hurt and feel pain.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m fine. I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
She starts getting up. “Thank you for choosing my brother. He really loves you.”
I look at her funny. “Why wouldn’t I choose him?”
“I know he has included you in on all the details, leaving out the worst parts. But it’s because of the worst parts why you wouldn’t. I admit, he has changed and is no longer the way he was. This is a good thing for all of us. And you do something to him—put that additional stitch in him that holds him together, take the night out of his eyes.”
She rubs her arms. “But just don’t misapprehend him. If he ever gets mad, let him. Don’t try to stop him or calm him down. He is strong and capable of many things. He is our family’s number one, and a lot of people fear him because of the things he’s capable of.”
She is freaking me out as she stares at me. “If you had a choice, I would tell you not to get involved with our family. But you’re here, and I appreciate you putting a smile on my brother’s face.” She pauses, looking towards the door. She turns back to me. “Just don’t try to control him. That may not end well for either of you.”
I say nothing, listening to her words. She walks from the room saying, “Get some rest,” before she closes the door behind her.
I know that Nathan is strong and I saw some of the things he’s capable of. I promised him and myself that I will help control him. So letting him spaz out is out of the question. Why would you let someone you love do something you know they would hate themselves for?
I close my eyes with her words, ‘He’s our family’s number one, and a lot of people fear him.’ I try to ignore it, but I’ll talk to him about it later.
I refocus my attention on last night and this morning—how last night was intimate and slow, speeding up only when our bodies got overly enthusiastic. His touch and kiss was full of passion, giving me the same thing when he loved on me in the shower.
Everything—everything—felt perfect. Thinking about it sends a pleasurable feeling through me. Where did he learn that stuff?
And this morning’s wake up—I mean, I knew I was getting something started, but I didn’t know the extent. That felt completely different. It felt like I was with a completely different person that cared about what we were doing, not just what we are.
Hard, rough, no intimacy in it at all, just what it was. And it brought me to another level, making my body feel good in ways I never knew possible. I felt feelings in areas of my body I never paid attention to. Thanks, Nathan.
The nightstand clock reads 12:40. How long was I sleep, and how long has Nathan been gone? I get up, no longer tired. I get back in the shower, trying to wash off Taylor’s words and that weird-ass dream.
The new shampoo and conditioner call my name, sitting on the built-in shelves of the shower. I wash my hair, loving that it feels weightless. I stand under the water for a while, letting the heat roll over me. I get out, dry off, wrapping the towel around me, and towel dry and brush my hair, then my teeth.
Nathan is sitting at his desk. “Hi, beautiful. You feeling better?” he asks, without turning around.
I smile, realizing how much I missed him. I want to run to him, but I have to control myself. I need to not act like a clingy girl. Pulling my hair up into a bun, I walk over to the side of the bed, sitting across from him.
“Hey. Yes.”
“Good.” His Mac is on, and he has a notebook beside him and a pen in his right hand.
I decide not to bother him yet, and put on my clothes. I finish and walk over, not able to stay away from him any longer. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his cheek. “What are you doing?”
“The figures for the new office opening in a few months.” He lifts one of my hands, kissing my palm. “My father wants them done by tomorrow, but I’m not going to be available to do them.”
“So you work for your dad?”
“Something like that. I own half, and him the other half. I work for myself but take instructions from him when he is overworked or too busy.”
“Do you go to school?”
“Not right now. I go back when I get bored.”
“You graduated?”
“Yes, many times. I have degrees in majors mostly related to business.”
“I’m thinking about going to school.”
“We can go after you graduate. We’ll look into a few schools and what you want to major in, before your break is out.” He talks to me, never looking up from his work.
We? “Yeah, that would be a good idea.” I think about his family and him being their number one, as Taylor put it. “I think I’m ready to meet your family.”
He turns to look at me and a half-smile forms. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, why not? I am going to be a part of it, right?”
He shakes his head. “You’re already a part of it.” He turns back around. “Give me a couple; I’ll be done shortly. We’ll do a ‘meet and greet’ before I take you home.”
I sit on the floor, leaning against the bed in front of the TV. Then I curse
myself for not grabbing the remote.
From my peripherals, I see the remote float and then land in my lap. “Thanks,” I mutter. It doesn’t freak me out; this ability is something to be expected. But turning dead people to dust, kind of caught me off-guard.
“They don’t have to be dead,” he says, low and amused, not lifting his head.
I ignore him, grabbing the magical remote, and scan through the menu guide.
Waiting on him to finish, I watch MTV’s Catfish, which oddly keeps my attention. Not sure why though. People are fooling other people that they meet online. Why?
I watch three full episodes of this, and it entertains me until Nathan sits beside me. He grabs my hand and his face shows concern.
“What?” I ask quickly.
“Don’t be mad,” he says. “But I’m not going to be able to stay with you tonight.” I open my mouth to speak. “I’ll be there when you wake up in the morning,” he says, before I can dispute. “But there are some things I need to take care of tonight.”
“Okay, so I’ll come with you,” I say convincingly.
“You’re not going to want to.”
“Why not?”
“You will be uncomfortable, the bond will take affect tonight. It’s why I feel bad about not being with you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because it happens sometimes after. I can feel it. It won’t be painful, but the pull may be a little unbearable for the two of us. Your need for me may cause an ache in your chest. Something like before, but you should be able to control it, because you understand it now.”
I’m quiet. I don’t like the thought of him leaving me. I don’t like the way it makes me feel.
“If you call me, I have no choice but to come. But I want you to understand that I have something I need to handle and it can’t go on pass tonight. I’ll continuously check on you and will return as soon as I finish.”
“Will people die?” I ask, calmly looking at his hand. The only question I could manage to try to figure out what is going on.