Burdened (A Burdened Novel)

by Peiri Ann

  “Why?”

  “It doesn’t matter. When you love and trust someone, you love them and trust them…no questions asked.”

  She stares at me a while before she says, “I should have listened to Scott first?”

  “That probably would have been a good idea. You don’t even know what he had to tell you. Scott loves you, Glen. He is a little weird about it, but know that he would give his life for you, even before you knew him well enough.”

  “Okay, maybe you’re right. You want to come with me back to his house?”

  “No. And by the way, is there anything you’re forgetting to tell me about you and Scott?”

  She looks at me from the corner of her eye. “Why do you ask?”

  “Just curious.”

  Don’t meddle, Tracey.

  Not meddling is not fun.

  Don’t. Plus, I want you to finish so I can tell you the sky is red and see if you believe me.

  From the guy who just told me not to meddle.

  “Tracey, are you listening to me?”

  “Yes, Glen.” No Glen. Stop distracting me, Nathan. “Look, I really think you should go to Scott and hear him out. Then kiss him. At least it will make you feel better.”

  I stand up, hoping she will do the same. She doesn’t. “What, are you in a hurry? Do you have something to do?” You would not ask me that question if you knew what was waiting for me upstairs.

  Trying to not seem anxious I ask, “Did you still want to talk?”

  “I don’t know. I’m just not ready to go over there yet. You just made me feel bad for being a jerk and not listening to him. And knowing that he loves me…well, he hasn’t even told me that he loves me.”

  “Do you love him?” I don’t know what to say to get her out of here.

  “Yes,” she says quietly, like she is answering herself.

  “Well?”

  “Do you love Nathan?” What is it with these two asking questions about me and Nathan? What do we have to do with them?

  “Yes,” I answer slowly, knowing more questions are to come.

  She nods, looking away from me. “So have you all, umm?”

  I raise my eyebrows when she looks back at me. “What are you asking me, Glen, and why are you asking it?” I don’t like where this is going.

  “Just answer the question. You know what I’m asking.”

  I’ll answer her, then I’ll kick her out, because she will go on and on. She will carry on about this all day. Plus, I was about to ask her the same thing.

  “Yes,” I say quickly.

  “When?”

  “Recently.”

  “Okay, details.”

  “None.”

  “Why?”

  “Not. Telling.”

  “Boooo.”

  “It’s time to go, Glen.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I have comp—” The door knocks, cutting me off. Now who could this be?

  Glen and I walk over to the door at the same time. She opens it, and there’s Michael in all his not-giving-up glory. Damn. Not now!

  “Michael? What are you doing here?” Glen asks in a disgusted, yet surprised, voice.

  “Hi to you too, Glen. Tracey, I need to talk to you.”

  “No, Michael.”

  “What?! Why are you not surprised to see him?” Glen asks, even more surprised.

  “He stopped by the other day. Nathan and I were here. It was the day after the first time you and Scott stopped by.”

  “Well, aren’t you full of secrets? That would have been some juicy information that you left me out of,” Glen says with an attitude.

  “Come on, Glen, not right now. Don’t you think we both have enough going on?”

  “Tracey, forget about that. Can I please talk to you?” Michael interjects.

  “Michael, now is not a good time.”

  “Well, your new stud isn’t around, so it seems like a perfect time to me.” Little do you know.

  “Michael, please don’t. I’ve already told you I’m over you. You need to move on. I really don’t want to hurt you.”

  Michael shakes his head roughly and walks through the door forcefully, pushing back Glen and me. This is not going to end well.

  I fall back against the floor, and Glen’s pushed against the wall being smashed by the door.

  “Tracey, you—” he points his finger, “—are going to talk to me. You know you want to.” Anger is in his voice.

  “No, she won’t.” As I’m trying to get up, Nathan comes around to the foyer.

  Michael rolls his head and eyes towards the ceiling. “Where the hell did you come from?”

  Now Scott is at the opened front door, looking for Glen I assume. He scans the room, locating her first, and pulls her from behind the door. “Michael, what are you doing here?” The question of the week.

  Nathan helps me from the floor. I stand in front of him.

  Michael rubs the back of his neck. He and Scott had been good friends before he had left. “What’s up, Scott? I just need to talk to Tracey.”

  “That is not a good idea, Michael,” Scott says in a friendly-warning voice, as if Michael was about to jump from a high cliff into a lake of green water.

  “I understand she has a guy right now.” He turns to me. “But if I could just talk to you for a moment.”

  “Okay, talk, because I really want to hear why you are about to risk getting your face smashed in,” Glen states in an obnoxious tone. Everybody looks at her. “What? I’m just curious.”

  Nathan’s hands move around my waist. I can feel him getting worked up. I wrap my hands around the top of his, and he moves to grab them, exhaling into my hair.

  I look up at him. You okay?

  I will be after I get the opportunity to smash your ex’s face. He is really pushing it, Tracey.

  I know. I don’t know what his deal is.

  “Look, Michael,” Scott starts, “we all clearly aren’t going anywhere, and you’re not going to get Tracey alone without my cousin being there, so you—”

  “Wait…he’s your cousin.” Michael is stunned, much like I was when I’d found out.

  “Yes, I am. And you need to leave.” Nathan’s voice is deep and venomous. “Like now.”

  “Dude, are you threatening me? Because that would not be a good idea.”

  Nathan moves forward and I stand still, not wanting him to move closer. “Michael, just say what it is you want me to hear. Like Scott said, no one is moving,” I say calmly, really not wanting to clean blood off my floor today.

  Michael looks back at Scott, who shrugs his shoulders and directs his attention to Glen. Michael looks at me and steps closer. “That’s close enough.” Mr. Over Protective is on edge.

  What is he going to do, babe? Not like we are going to let him touch me.

  He lets out a frustrated breath against my head. I want to laugh.

  “It’s private, Tracey. I don’t want everyone in our business.”

  “Well, Nathan already knows about you, and since you and Scott were best friends before you left, I’m sure you told him everything.” Which kind of makes me feel awkward about Scott. “And Glen is my best friend, so she knows everything. So, we all know each other’s business, so you can just say it.”

  Michael smiles. “You told your new stud about me?”

  Is he serious? Nathan thinks, pissed.

  I shake my head. “Michael, if you have nothing to say, you can just leave. We have things we need to do.”

  “Okay, look Tracey, I can’t let you go. I came back for you. I need you back. Let this jerk go and come home…and be with me. We shared a lot of things together. I knew you first—all of you.” Nathan’s pulse jumps in his hand.

  “Despite the fact that I left,” Michael continues, “there was nothing wrong with our relationship. You promised me, when I came back, we would get back together. Right?” He pauses. “So drop him and come back to me.”

  The moment Michael is finished, a car pul
ls into my driveway that looks just like my mom’s. The shit is really about to hit the fan. Mom will freak out for me having people in the house, and the fact that it is three guys and only two girls.

  Nathan moves from behind me to stand at my side. Scott does the same with Glen. Michael just stands in the middle of the foyer, looking like a sad puppy. Glen is looking at me with the ‘what you gonna do face?’ I juggle rushing to close the door and leaving it open.

  My mom usually goes through the garage door, but pulling up to the house and seeing her front door open would definitely change that. Seconds pass before she walks in. “Tracey, what is going on? And why is everyone in my house?” She looks only at me. Her voice is even and demanding an answer.

  I’m on the verge of panic, and a bad case of ‘word barf’ is about to come out. “Mom, I am so sorry.” I want to explain, but I don’t know how to explain. I’ll go into introductions, but I don’t know where to start there either.

  Her eyebrows start rising as she waits for me to get it together. “Okay, Mom, I’m sorry.” My heart starts beating hard as my panic grows. Nathan places his hand on my back, helping to calm me down. I let out a breath, thankful. “You know Scott and Glen—I go to school with them. And that’s Michael—we used to go to school with him. And this is Nathan—my boy…friend.” I break up the word, not sure if ‘boyfriend’ is the correct term.

  “You don’t sound too sure about that, Tracey.” My mom looks at Nathan. “At least he’s cute.” She smiles, and I blush.

  Nathan steps forward and introduces himself. “Hi, I’m Nathan. I’m trying to be your daughter’s boyfriend but it seems she is still making up her mind.” He steps back to my side. “I would have taken it as confirmation had you not pointed out how unsure she sounded.” He smiles through the end of his sentence, still looking at my mom. “It’s nice to finally meet you. What should I call you?” He sounds good speaking to my mom. His voice is smooth, with less base, like he uses with everyone else.

  “Karen is fine. Nathan?” she asks, making sure she got it right.

  He nods, and she smiles a motherly smile at him. She turns to Glen. “Hi Glen.” Then to Scott. “And hello to you. I assume, since you are standing close to Glen, that you are her boyfriend?”

  Scott looks at Glen for confirmation. She nods. He turns and smiles. “Yes ma’am. I’m Scott. May I also call you Karen? Nathan is my cousin.”

  “O-Kay, I wasn’t expecting that. Nice to meet you, and yes, that will be fine.”

  “Hi Mrs. Warren, how was work?” Glen asks cheerfully.

  “It was fine, Glen. Thank you for asking.”

  My mom then turns to Michael. “And whose boyfriend are you?”

  I put my palm to my face. Why did she have to ask that? Glen chuckles from her side of the foyer.

  “Well, I used to be Tracey’s boyfriend, before I left for New York. And now I’m trying to get her back,” Michael answers confidently.

  Mom looks from me to Nathan, then back at Michael. “Well, I hate to say this, but Tracey has never before introduced any of her male friends to me as her boyfriend. And considering she did it for him,” she nods her head towards Nathan, “I wouldn’t spend too much of my young life trying to get something back that is already gone.”

  Michael’s face falls. He looks back at me and then walks to the door. “Thanks for the advice.” He walks out the door with his head down. I feel nothing.

  “I hope I didn’t hurt that young man’s feelings. I was just being honest.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Mom.”

  “So, now that introductions are out of the way, anyone care to tell me why all of you are here? I do not like people in my house when I don’t know about it.”

  “That’s my fault, Mom. Glen came over and we were talking. Then Michael showed up, all aggressive-like, at the same time that Glen and I were getting ready to leave with Nathan and Scott.” And within that lie, lies some truth. “Michael wouldn’t leave, and Nathan and Scott stepped in. Then you drove up.”

  She nods her head. “Why would that boy get aggressive?”

  I shrug. “I guess he didn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer.”

  She looks at Nathan. “And how do you feel about that?”

  “It didn’t sit well with me. And if I can be honest with you?” She nods. “Before you arrived, he was about to get his face smashed. I didn’t like the way he spoke to and treated Tracey,” he says strongly. I wince at his ‘face smashed’ remark.

  My mom looks at him, turning up the corner of her lips as if she is deciding on something. She does a quick nod. “Okay, that works for me.” She smiles at him, then looks at me. “I know you said you all were getting ready to leave. But would you all like a snack first?” She finally walks past us, and we all relax.

  “No, Mom. That’s okay. We’re just going to go. I’ll see you when I get back.”

  She walks back around the corner. “Okay, Tracey. Nice to meet you, Nathan. Make sure you come back around so we can talk, okay?”

  Nathan peeks at me, then looks back to my mom. He smiles. “Yes ma’am.”

  “Umm, I don’t know how I feel about this talk,” I say, skeptical.

  “Tracey, keep your schedule clear for the next couple of days. Your dad will be home and we have some things we would like to discuss with you.”

  Panic rises. “Okay, Mom,” I respond, without turning around as I walk out the door, following Glen and Scott. Nathan is behind me. He says ‘goodbye’ and closes the door.

  “Umm, so who’s driving? Considering that we weren’t actually planning on leaving. I left everything in the house,” I mention. This was not a part of my plan for today. I also wasn’t expecting my mom to come home this early. I guess it is a good thing that Glen popped in, because she was a good excuse for us all being there.

  “We can walk to my house and get my car. I don’t know what you all want to do. We can’t go to Nathan’s house, because there is a family meeting over there.” Meeting? For what? And why isn’t Nathan there?

  “Wait…” I turn to Nathan. “Where is your bag? And your clothes were laid across the chaise.” My panic increases.

  “I’ll take care of it, Tracey,” he reassures me.

  Glen steps up to him. “How are you going to take care of it? Walk back up to the door and say, ‘Hi Karen, I left my clothes in Tracey’s room.’”

  He looks at Glen, then over her head at Scott. “I really wish you would talk to your girl.”

  “And I really wish you would provide him some breathing space,” I say to Glen. She looks at me with evil eyes. She is too comfortable in his bubble. My bubble.

  Scott pulls her back. “Let’s start walking while Tracey and Nathan try to get his stuff out.”

  I watch them walk away. “We are going to walk away too. I’ll go up and stash my things. I’ll be back in less than three minutes,” Nathan says quietly.

  “Okay.”

  We walk to the corner and across the street. Nathan disappears and comes back in less than three minutes. “You smell like my perfume.”

  “I know. I had to spray some in your room and the hallway, because it smelt like me.”

  “Good job.”

  16: Deceived

  Scott stays at least ten blocks away from us. This is going to be a long walk.

  “So, I’m the first guy you’ve ever introduced to your mom as your boyfriend?”

  I feel my cheeks warm. “Yeah, I don’t introduce my mom to guys. I haven’t cared much about her meeting them, especially if I wasn’t sure they would stick around.”

  “So you met my family; I met your mom. I think we can make this official, so the next time you’re introducing me and what I am to you, you won’t have to think about it.”

  “So us meeting each other’s family is what makes us official? What about the whole having sex part?”

  “Hey,” he throws up his hands, “you’re the one who’s uncertain. I know what you are to me.”


  “And what is that?”

  He throws his arm around me. “You’re my mate, my girl, my love, my heart—and my future wife and mother of my children, when we are both ready.” He double steps. “No confusion here.” This is free-and-relaxed Nathan—light voice and not intense. This ‘him,’ makes me incredibly comfortable, like he’s normal.

  “Clearly,” I say. “But I wasn’t confused. I just didn’t know how to introduce you to her. Like I said, I’ve never done it before, and I didn’t know how she was going to react.”

  “She was cool about it. Not a hair out of place. I think she likes me.”

  “She might. I think she just thinks you’re cute.”

  “Do you think I’m cute?”

  “I think ‘cute’ is an understatement. When God made you, he was breaking all the limitation rules.”

  “You think God made me?” he asks, more serious.

  “Of course. Who else?”

  “Well, considering I’m half demon and all.”

  “It’s not what you’re made of, it’s what you make of yourself. You make who you are—no one else. We are not who we are because of where we come from or what people make us out to be, but because of what we want to be.

  “You’re not a demon,” I continue. “You just possess demon behaviors, but you know that, you don’t let it consume you, and you’ve bettered yourself—which means you were made by God and not by a demon.”

  He doesn’t respond. I stay quiet too, holding onto his hand that hangs over my shoulder.

  My mom’s words start playing back in my head. I can’t imagine what it is that they want to talk about. And keeping a clear schedule for two days? When my dad comes back, we usually do things as a family, staying out all day or going away for a few days.

  To be without Nathan for a full day makes me remember that ache in my chest.

  “What are you thinking about, babe?”

  “Keeping a clear schedule.”

  “Why?”

  “Because most of the time, when my dad comes home, we either go away or are gone for the entire day.”

  “So why are you worried?”

  Clingy me is breaking through. “I won’t see you. And I can’t figure out what they could possibly want to talk to me about. That didn’t sound good at all.”