by Peiri Ann
“And what would that be?”
“Minding my business.”
“You’re working on getting something started.”
“I’m working on getting to know you better.”
“Um.” As if he has an idea.
I pull back. “What?”
“Nothing. Your dad just got out of the shower. He’s coming here.” He turns to me. “I’ll see you later.” He kisses my lips sweetly. “Let me know if you need me.”
He’s gone out the window before I can respond. I turn around and see that he took the curtains and his clothes with him.
When I turn back around, my dad is walking through my door. “Hey, ladybug. Start getting ready to go.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“Why are you standing in the middle of the floor? And why does it smell like smoke in here?”
Good question. “Umm, the window is open—it could be coming from outside. I was going to the dresser to get some clothes.” All I can picture his him loving on my mom. That is disgusting.
“What’s wrong? Everything okay?”
No! “Yes, I’m just going to get in the shower.”
“Okay, your mom and I will be downstairs when you’re ready.”
I get in the shower, then put on a dress. I put my hair in an up-do, because my dad said it is supposed to be hot today. I slide on my flats, and some jewelry that match my shoes.
Walking into the kitchen, I greet my mom. “Good morning, Mom.”
“Good morning, honey. Did you have a good sleep?” She sounds perky. I clear my head.
“Yes, I did. So what’s on the agenda for today?”
Dad answers. “First, find out what time Nathan will be available so I can fit him into our schedule. I have a feeling that once he comes around, I’ll lose you for the rest of the evening.” Sounds about right.
“What makes you say that?” Pointless question.
“Just based on what I saw last night. He looked as if he was asleep and you were laid across him, questioning him about leaving. He asked you if you were comfortable and you said yes.” He tries to imitate my voice. “He replied that he was fine, just sitting there on the couch…something like that.” He’s smiling ear to ear.
“And what else did he say, dear?” Mom is eating this up. I’m mild-faced.
“You asked him if you were taking him away from what he was doing. And—this is why I like the guy—he said—”
“I know what he said, Dad,” I say, irritated.
“Awe, ladybug, I don’t mean to embarrass you. It’s just that you two were so cute. And I hadn’t seen you with a guy before and loving him. Makes me feel funny just saying it.” He shakes his shoulders, like he has a chill.
“He’s pretty cute too, honey.” My mom pinches my shoulder.
I smile at them both. “And now that that’s over, I’ll go call Nathan. I’m thinking 3pm.”
“Ladybug, I was just joking.”
“I am too, Dad.” I walk to the family room, just now remembering that he still hasn’t given me his number.
Nathan? Nothing. Nathan?
Yes, baby?
What time are you going to be finished?
I’m not doing anything but hanging with Taylor until you need me.
Tell Taylor I said ‘hi,’ and come by at six.
Will do.
We drive for hours to the Speedway race track that Dad says Mom has been begging him for years to take her to. I’m not that into racing, but I’m sure it will be fun to watch the people around me get pissed about their person not winning.
I pay little to no attention to the race. My phone is buzzing out of control with all the girls asking me with questions about the fair, Pepper, where Glen and I have been all break, and who is the new eye candy people saw me with.
I go back and forth with Rachel, explaining a little of nothing. Then Jennifer texts me, and she is more interested in Pepper. Angie calls and I tell her to text me, because I can’t hear over the crowd—she wants to know about Glen and Scott. Apparently, she likes Scott and is mad that Glen didn’t ask her if she was okay with her dating him. Petty.
The race is over before I know it. Everyone in our section is angry, even my mom. I guess our person lost. On our walk back to the car, she complains about how the drivers were cheating.
I’m half paying attention, still in my phone, telling the girls we will catch up when we get back to school on Monday. That isn’t enough, because they continue to text, telling me I blew them off, and I spent no time with them this break.
Little do they know I have better things to do.
My dad stops by a fast food restaurant for something light to snack on, before we head on our hours’ drive home. I am overly happy when we get back in the car, anticipating seeing Nathan. I miss him.
“You ready to head on home, Tracey?”
“Yes.” I don’t hesitate to answer.
“I wonder why that would be.” Ever since my dad saw Nathan and me last night, he will not stop teasing me about it. It’s irritating, but I’d prefer that he accept it than be against it.
I take the ride home with Mom and Dad going through ‘Nathan and me’ jokes. It makes me miss him more—continuously hearing his name.
Calm down, Tracey, I tell myself. You’re going to see him soon. My chest starts to ache.
We arrive home thirty minutes before Nathan is supposed to come over. Me and my mom shower, and put on new clothes. We were dirty from the seats and the spitting men. Disgusting!
My dad is making some type of roasted chicken with stir-fry veggies, and his own punch.
I haven’t heard from Nathan yet. Nathan. Nothing. NATHAN! Nothing.
My dad walks in my room. “Hey, ladybug. You heard from Nathan yet? It’s almost six.”
“Not yet. Just about to call him.” I look at my phone, sitting on the dresser.
“Okay.” He walks out, closing the door behind him.
I walk over to the window, looking around outside. Why aren’t you answering me?
A sharp pain tinges my knee. I look at it; nothing is there. The same pain attacks my stomach. I wrap my arms around it, in an attempt to comfort the pain. It becomes unbearable and I fall to my knees, hunched over.
It goes away, but after minutes had ticked by. “What is going on?” I say, lifting myself from the floor.
I’ll try again. Nathan. Still nothing.
I walk downstairs. It’s after six now and my dad is setting the table. He calls us to eat and I sit down, staring at the plate next to me.
“Looks like your boy-toy is a no-show, ladybug,” my dad says with a smile.
My chest starts aching uncontrollably. “No, something is wrong,” I say in a worried voice. Something is definitely wrong. NATHAN! I yell in my head. I still get nothing.
“Eat your food before it gets cold, Tracey. He’s probably just running a little late,” my mom says, trying to comfort me. It’s not working.
“No, Mom, something is wrong. Really wrong. I can feel it.” And I can. My heart is going crazy with pain and want and need. My head starts to hurt—no, pound—out-of-control.
Where the hell are you? I say angrily.
Neither my dad nor my mom says anything as I contemplate things in my head.
The door knocks and I jump up from my chair, running to it.
“Slow down, ladybug. Wouldn’t want you to break anything,” Dad yells behind me.
I make it to the door, opening it with an exaggerated whoosh. Hope thrills in my chest.
I see Taylor and Rose, and I can take no more. The pain becomes excruciating. I drop to my knees, no longer able to bare it. Tears fill my eyes.
Taylor wraps her arms around me to pull me from the floor. “Come on, Tracey. Try to pull it together. We cannot have your parents see you like this. We need you to come with us to find him. Okay?”
I can’t speak as she pulls me from the floor. Holding my face in her hands, she wipes my eyes and I nod. Going over in my head
, Pull it together, Tracey, pull it together.
The ache in my chest is not alleviating, nor is the pounding in my head.
Taylor looks at her sister. “Rose, help her.” Help me with what? She can’t make Nathan appear! Or can she? I think furiously.
Rose walks over to me. “I can take it away, but only for a few minutes. We have to hurry, because if you break down, your parents might not let you leave,” Rose whispers in my ear.
“I have the story already together. Just agree and nod. Try to smile.” Taylor matches her quiet.
I nod, and I feel Rose’s hand on the small of my back. The pain reduces, but it doesn’t go away completely; it just becomes sufferable.
The three of us walk to the dining room, where my parents are still seated at the table. Rose’s hand is still on me and Taylor says “Hi.” She introduces herself as Nathan’s sister.
“Well, their whole family is full of beauties,” my mom blurts.
“And I have to say the same for Tracey’s.”
My mom blushes. “Thank you, Taylor.”
“So what happened to Nathan?” My dad asks suspiciously.
“Nathan feels really bad that he let Tracey down and he apologies. He had to finish some work at the office for the new building he’s opening in Washington. He won’t be back until much later, after he completes the business plans. He asked me and Rose…” She points to her sister. “…to come by and take Tracey out—to make it up to her. But we didn’t know we were interrupting dinner. Our apologies for the intrusion,” Taylor follows quickly.
“No need to apologize. So Nathan is doing work for your father’s business?”
“It’s Nathan’s business. He’s expanding it. Our father only owns a portion.” My dad’s eyes go wide.
“Umm, Dad, can we all talk about this later? I’m sure Nathan would want to be the one to tell you about himself and his business. And I want to go out with Taylor and Rose.”
“That’s fine, Tracey. Go ahead. Just be back at a reasonable time,” my mom interjects, before my dad can ask another question.
The three of us turn, rushing through the door and out to Taylor’s car. Rose helps me in the backseat. The instant she takes her hand from me, the pain comes stabbing back. I buckle over, falling to my side against the seat. I move in the fetal position, trying to contain the pain. Shit is not working.
“Just hold on, Tracey.” Rose closes the door.
Taylor pulls off after Rose reenters the car in the passenger seat. The drive is smooth; although, she is flying. She must have the same car as her brother.
“This isn’t a good sign, Taylor,” I hear Rose speak.
I can’t open my eyes because the pain is too excruciating, and every time I open them, everything becomes blurry, the pain worsens, and I can’t focus.
“Shut up, Rose. Everything is fine! We just need to find him.” There is a pause. “Tracey, I need you to find Nathan.”
What!? “How am I supposed to do that?” I say through clenched teeth. Find Nathan? I can’t think past the hurt. “He’s not answering when I call him.”
“Okay, Tracey, I know you are in pain. But I need you to calm down and focus on what I am saying.” Pause. “Okay, Tracey?”
“Okay,” I respond, only so she will leave me alone. Listening to her, thinking about Nathan, and this pain, is too much to bare.
“Breathe. Stop holding your breath. You have to breathe through the pain. It makes it easier for you to cope with it.” I’m not trying to hear that. “Come on, Tracey. We need to find Nathan. He may be in trouble!”
She’s right—I do need to find Nathan. Now that I think about it, he’s probably the reason I’m in pain, because he’s in pain. Nathan, I cry out in my head. Please be okay. “Okay, Taylor, just give me a minute.”
“No time. The longer we take, the less time he has.” I let go of my breath and pain rushes over me. So much pain, everywhere, all over me. My hands, my head, my legs, my feet, my back, and the worse—my chest.
I start panting. It makes me feel light-headed.
“No, Tracey, slower. Breathe slower.” I slow the breaths—through the pain—and slowly my vision clears. “That’s it, Tracey, very good. Now, there are only two pains I need you to focus on. These two pains will act as navigation to find Nathan. It’s like, following your heart. But you need your brain to tell you where your heart needs you to go.” She looks back at me, only for a second, then turns back towards the road.
“I understand.” Grabbing the handle on the door, I sit up, thinking about the pain in my chest.
It’s horrible. It feels like my heart wants to explode out of my chest by the way it’s pounding—the ice-cold blood pumping through it, rushing too forcefully through my veins. I feel it all as the blood flows.
I try to focus on the pain in my head. It’s not as bad as my chest, but it too is agonizing. Focusing on them both together makes my body shake.
I try to focus on where my heart is, and it’s clearly in my chest. That was stupid.
“How is it going, Tracey? I need something.”
I throw my head against the back of the seat in frustration. Taylor is really impatient.
My hand starts to burn vigorously. I look at it, full-black, and the vines are thick, running up my arm.
I tell myself I want to find Nathan. Seconds later, my fingers spark with fire. “What is going on, Tracey? Are you lighting—oh my gosh, is that your hand? Tracey, your hand is on fire!” Rose is hysterical.
“Tracey, you all did!?” I am not ready to have this conversation right now.
“I know how we can find him,” I say, sticking my hand out the window and wanting the fire to help me find Nathan. Fire snakes from my hand, probably freaking out the people around us. I pull my hand back in the window after it snaked from my palm. It takes the form of a real snake that is about the size of my entire leg. It’s fast.
“Follow it,” I say hurriedly.
Taylor wastes no time, and I put on my seatbelt. I watch the snake of fire slither quickly through the streets and around cars on the freeway. It’s faster and Taylor is trying her best to keep up. I can feel it against the cold ground as it moves. It feels like it wants to find Nathan just as bad as I want to.
“You will explain this to me once this is over.” Taylor swerves through traffic.
We drive for an hour. My need for Nathan increases, confirming something is wrong. We arrive at a small cottage, when Taylor finally slows down.
“Are you sure it brought us to the right place?” Rose is scoping out the place before we get out. Her doing so makes me wonder where the guys of the family are. Why is it only the three of us?
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
“That’s what I have been trying to figure out since I came out of the bathroom,” Taylor answers.
“What?” I ask dramatically. The bathroom? A sledgehammer is banging against my forehead, and although I want to hear more details about what happened, I decide against it. “Never mind. We’ll talk about that later. Did you see where that fire snake went?” I ask, looking around the grass and in the trees, but not seeing it.
“No, and that is what we are going to talk about later. You, me, Nathan, and that fire snake,” Taylor responds in an exaggerated voice.
I open my black palm, wanting the fire to come back to me. We walk around the small cottage before deciding to go in. Walking up the steps to the front door, the snake of fire comes back to me and enters my palm. I almost ask it if it found him, since it was gone for so long. But that seems silly, especially with Taylor and Rose here.
We step in, the door squeaking closed behind us. It becomes pitch-black. Not even the moonlight can enter through the boarded up windows.
“Taylor?” I call out to her.
“Tracey,” she returns my call.
“Rose?” we say at the same time.
“Yes,” Rose responds quietly.
There is no light. I try to focus my eyes on something. I
get nothing. None of us have moved since we walked into the cottage.
If I could only see… We are wasting too much time. I blink again and red moves in my peripheral vision. I blink again and it’s gone. What is going on?
I turn my head slightly, to see what it could have been, but I see nothing. I blink once more and it returns in the form of a human. I gasp, jumping away from it, startled.
“Tracey, what’s wrong? Where are you?” the strange figure speaks to me, with Taylor’s voice. It doesn’t move; it just looks around the room quickly.
I stare at her for a moment, remembering her body shape. It is Taylor, just not in Taylor’s skin. Or skin at all.
“I think I can see you,” I think out loud. “But, you’re…red.”
“Like heat vision?” Rose’s voice asks from behind me. I brace myself before I turn around. Slowly turning, there she is—in all her red-glowing glory.
“I guess you could call it that.” I’m still trying to make sense of this.
“Wait…” I turn back to ‘red Taylor,’ standing with her arms folded in front of her chest. “You’re telling me you have heat vision too?”
“No, but this isn’t a good time to discuss it. But I do believe this may help us move from this spot.” I look around the room. I can see objects. I can’t make them out, but at least I can see them, maybe because they give off heat. I don’t know. I just know I can see them.
“Okay, you lead the way.” Yeah, should have seen that coming.
“Umm, can one of you stay at my side?” I say nervously.
“Tracey, let’s just go.”
I don’t know where to go. I think for a minute, deciding to let the pull of my heart direct me. “Okay, I’m going out on a limb here, but I think we should go down.”
Taylor responds quickly, “You’re right.”
“I’m not feeling good about this, you two.” Rose pauses. “It feels like something is wrong.”
“It’s her ability to sense situations and occurrences,” Taylor informs.
“That doesn’t make me feel good,” I say apprehensively.
“We got you, Tracey. Anything happens, we’ll take care of it. You just hide somewhere.” Taylor’s red figure looks in my direction. “From all of us,” she utters quietly.