by Peiri Ann
“Honestly,” he starts, “when I saw him in the woods, I knew he was going to try and do something. I just didn’t know what at the time. And I dropped the ball. He was happy I did, which he told me. He also informed me, regardless of my efforts, he would take Tracey.”
He lifts his head. His face is expressionless. “I told him he could try. He reassured me he will with a pat on my back.” He shifts his weight. “We changed the subject to talk about your father’s death. And he asked about Tracey—her abilities. This went unanswered.” Of course it did. “He asked about the family. I kept my answers short—until he began talking about you, Taylor.”
Justin sits up, which makes Taylor sit up. He turns his full body. His eyes are fully black. Whoa. “And what was it about?”
Okay, I am really missing something.
“That’s what I’m curious to know. What is it that you owe Roehl, Taylor?” Nathan sits up straight, moving me to do the same.
Taylor looks between the two of them.
Justin gains a demanding tone. “Speak, Taylor.” I jump at the startle from his voice.
Taylor reaches for his hand, but he moves away. That’s harsh. She trembles slightly, then turns to Nathan, who is still calm. He really is hard to read. I didn’t even know there was a problem until he said something.
“Nathan,” she starts.
He puts his hand up. “Before you speak, I just want to let you know, it had better be a damn good reason.”
She looks at Justin. “I agree with him,” he says as the darkness fades from his eyes.
Taylor looks torn, and I can tell, whatever it is, she doesn’t want her brother to know—or Justin, for that matter.
I scoot closer to Nathan, wrapping his arm around mine in case what it is pisses him off. Taylor looks at me thankfully.
Nathan gives me a look as if I’m choosing her over him, although I can feel him un-tense. I’m not choosing; I just don’t want him to blow up.
“We are waiting, Taylor,” Justin says impatiently.
She takes a deep breath but still doesn’t speak. I confirm for myself that procrastination runs in the family. I too am growing impatient. It has to be really late and this has already been a long-ass day.
“Nathan, I did go to Roehl,” she finally responds—after minutes tick past.
“Why?” Justin cuts in harshly.
“I needed something taken care of.”
“Like what?” Nathan says forcefully. She looks away from him to me. “Say it!” he demands angrily. I rub his arm and he reluctantly calms, shaking his head.
“I needed you to kill your father…after what he did to us.” She looks at Justin, who isn’t moved, then back at me.
She breathes. “I asked him to help me—” She pauses, looking for the word. “—entice you.” She looks at Nathan, and he just stares at her. “I knew she would be okay,” she speaks in a rush. “I knew nothing would happen to her. I wanted him dead, and I couldn’t do it myself.”
Nathan brings his hand to his face. “Taylor, just tell me what you did—and calmly,” he adds.
She places her hands in front of her. “I did go to him—with a request. It started out with me asking him for someone with an ability that would help me kill him. He told me ‘no,’ but would, instead, get you to want to kill him.”
“But he already wanted to do that,” I interject, getting looks from everyone.
“He did, but he wouldn’t have done it soon enough. Nathan takes his time…I didn’t want to wait.” Nathan doesn’t say anything. “So we agreed to—” She takes a longer pause, lowering her head. It irritates me. “—go after…Tracey—to anger Nathan.”
Each word comes out like its own sentence. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“Tracey, I am so sorry. But I knew you would be fine; I knew Nathan would help with whatever happened.” Her eyes fill.
Mine do the same.
“Finish,” Nathan pushes quietly. How can he take any more of this? What more could there be?
“I know about Eddlen coming to you and doing what he did. Nathan killed him, which stopped any further plans of using him. I needed something stronger than my story of what happened to me and Justin, so Roehl created Tracey’s dreams.” She stands. “It worked out perfectly that our father was as crazy as he was and actually followed through with his own thoughts of wanting to kill us.”
She walks over to me and I move closer to Nathan, not wanting her to touch me.
“Taylor,” Justin says softly, grabbing her attention.
She cringes. “Baby, I am so sorry.” Her voice cracks.
I start moving from the bed, letting go of Nathan’s arm. Whatever I was helping, by holding him, floods out.
“How could you, Taylor!?” Nathan shouts. “How could you trust him!? Why would you go to him!?” His voice booms against the walls of the room. “We are family, and he was going to die anyway! You don’t hold a smidgen of patience!” He looks at her through low eyes. “All you had to do was tell me, ‘Nathan, we need to handle this now,’ and the shit would have been handled.”
He stands from the bed. “You want to know something, Taylor?” he says in a softer tone. “It wasn’t Roehl seeing Tracey tonight that sparked his interest. Don’t get me wrong, hearing her and tasting her made him want her. But because you had already sparked his interest and she is with me—and you know how Roehl feels about me—he had wanted her before now.”
He pushes both hands through his hair, leaving them at the back of his head. He’s trying to calm himself down. I can feel him shifting through anger and calm, and then…
He blows up. “What the fuck were you thinking, Taylor!?” He is loud, making the air shake in the room.
I start to walk over to him, but he leans over. Five seconds pass and he yells as he rises, the entire bed coming with him. It flips roughly through the air. I duck as it flies over me. It hits the wall—with a loud crash from the bedrails. I run over to him.
He looks at me. “Don’t, Tracey.” I have to—he’s shaking.
Justin runs over to Taylor, pushing her behind him. I continue towards Nathan, just not as quickly. His hands are balled into fists and his jaw is locked. He looks from me to Taylor. His eyes are dark as he walks over to the wall opposite them. Anger is ruling over his calm.
“Nathan, please. Just hear me out,” Taylor begs from behind Justin.
“What is there to hear, Taylor!?” he yells in a deep voice. “What could you possibly have to say? Look at what you’ve done. As if enough shit was not going on. I’m not that hard or heartless. The many times I would have killed him, if you would have only asked me. What would have made this time any different? Why bring her into it?”
“Nathan, I—”
“You were selfish! You only thought of yourself!” he shouts, cutting her off.
“No!” She matches his yelling voice. “I did it for us!”
“Us? Who—you and Justin?”
“No, the lot of us.”
“How? How could that have been for us? You said it yourself—he could walk through her classroom, right? Follow her home. You brought this on.” He says calmer, “What happened to you? What did he do to you?” He pauses. “No, a better question is: what did you give him?” It’s said from the back of his throat, full of anger.
I’m a foot away from him, and he puts his hand out to stop me.
“Don’t stop me, Nathan.” I’m still trying to move to him, but there is a barrier holding me back.
“Wait, Tracey. Just let her answer the question.”
Taylor moves from around Justin. “I will answer, but only after you accept Tracey.”
Nathan’s anger roars inside of him. He fights against it, enjoying the feeling and hating it at the same time. He drops the barrier and I run to him. I grab his face for him to look at me. He turns to me, but his eyes are closed.
“Tracey, I need to know her answer.”
“No, baby. You need to calm down. Let me help
you.” I push my hands from his face to his neck. “Look at me.”
He opens his dark, night-blue eyes. “Tracey, why would she do that?” His eyes shake. He looks away from me and towards Taylor. “Not you, Taylor.” He almost whispers, “Everyone else, I can accept would do it. Everyone else can cross me. But I never thought you would.
“And what makes it all so much worse is, you went after my heart’s utmost desire. You risked my heart for yours to be better.” He moves me to the side, and Justin is pushed to the wall and pinned there.
Taylor squares off. “Nathan,” she says firmly.
“What did you give?” he says through his teeth in a growl. I reach for him, but I can’t move. I look over to Justin and he’s struggling.
Taylor starts crying. “Blind him, and take away his hearing and speech.”
Justin silently screams, searching with blind eyes, until he calms against the wall. I can only imagine the pain he is going through.
“I am growing impatient, Taylor.” I watch a tear roll down his cheek. His hands are out at his sides. They start to turn that dark, reddish color.
“Me. Uncontrolled. I promised I’d take care of a few things for him. And that I would convince you to come back.” Back?
“Why?”
“I needed him dead,” she speaks through shaky tears.
“Why not come to me?” The ‘convince you to come back’ clearly was not a shocker.
“Excuses don’t matter, brother, but—” She wipes her tears. “—I love you, Nathan, and I never thought he would come back. I didn’t think about him wanting her.” Her tears return. “I was selfish and thought only of my needs. I am sorry.”
She steps up to him, and another tear falls from him. His hurt eats away at me, and I want nothing more than to comfort him.
“We are family and I love you,” she expresses to him. “I’m not going to ask you to forgive me, but continue to stand with me. You know I’m not going to be able to do whatever it is he is going to require of me.”
Nathan lets go of Justin and walks backwards to me. I stand still, while Justin stands, waiting for Taylor. He looks pissed.
Nathan grabs my hand and kisses my cheek. “I’m sorry I did that to you.” He is calm—as if nothing happened. I say nothing.
He looks back at Taylor as he walks us from the room. “I have no love for you, Taylor, and I will not help you. You are as good as dead to me,” he says calmly. “See you at breakfast.”
We walk into the hall and he picks me up, rushing us to his room. He closes and locks the door behind us.
I sit in his bed against the head board with his head lying in my lap. It’s dark and quiet.
Five minutes of me rubbing my fingers through his hair, he breaks. He screams out through clenched teeth—a hurtful, roar-like scream—then wraps his arms around my waist tightly. I say nothing, just hold him and stay there.
Epilogue
Nathan and Scott
“I know. I told her not to worry about it. I’ll stay around and you’re there while y’all are at school,” I answer Scott’s question about Roehl.
I hate that this Roehl shit had to happen right before Tracey had to go back to school. I gotta admit, Taylor was right about him being the type to go after her—even while she is at school. But he wouldn’t try it, not something that easy.
He would test me first to see how far he could push me before he actually tries to take her. Not that I would let that happen.
“You could always get in with us for the last few weeks.” Scott has been trying to talk me into going to school with them.
It is not a good idea, because I and high school, with the girls Tracey goes to school with, would have a bad ending. “Yeah, right.” I rub my hand over my beard. “Tracey will end up killing one of those girls, just for looking at me like they want me.”
He laughs, throwing his head back. “Yeah, Tracey is spicy.” He sobers. “We’ll get this figured out. How’s Aunt Nati holding up?” ‘Nati’ is what he calls my mother.
“She’s doing better. She knew it was going to happen one day—we all did. It’s hard on her, dealing with losing him, and I hate that I had to hurt her. But, honestly, enough was enough. She’ll be better soon. Aunt Cent will help her through it.” My Aunt Cent—their school’s nurse—lost her mate two years ago.
“Yeah, I remember when she lost Donald and it was hard on her too. Aunt Nati is actually taking the loss better than she did.”
I nod. “I think that’s because of the many times she almost lost him before.”
“Maybe.”
My mom is taking my father’s death better than we all expected. We all know she is hurting though. When she sneaks away, we can hear her cry out for him. Or, she walks along the edge of the water for hours, never looking away from the sun. It’s hard to see her like that again, but she’s been doing a good job at holding it all together.
“Speaking of figuring things out…you finished erasing Glen’s memory?” I ask Scott, sitting on the couch in the living room.
He looks at me like I’m being an ass. “Very funny. Where are they, anyway?”
“Helping my mom with the flowers in the front. Tracey has been trying to stick close to her, feeling guilty about her losing my father. Glen joined her a little while ago.” I look at my phone vibrating again. It’s been going off because of some shit that happened with Olar. “Why can’t you keep up with your girl?”
“What do you mean?” he asks bleakly.
I sense his discomfort and it amuses me. “How don’t you know where your girl is?”
“Why?”
I shrug. “Just asking. But, seriously, you really need to stop treating her like that.” Scott and Glen are better after their talk at the beach. But things are still off with their relationship. It seems forced.
“Don’t start on that bullshit, Nate. Treating her like what?”
“Hiding things from her, then telling her, then erasing it. You are going to damage that girl’s brain. It’s bad enough you took away her choices.”
“Fuck’s that supposed to mean!?” He’s getting worked up, so I push it further.
“Come on, Scott.” I smile at his anger. “You know what you did. You bonded with her before she even knew you well-enough—making her obligated to you before she knew what she was getting into.”
He’s sitting on the loveseat and leans over onto his knees. “I know. I don’t know. You know I didn’t want this, and she is not the easiest person to talk to. I did fuck her, before we even had a real conversation, but I couldn’t help myself—better yet, control myself. I’ve been going to school with the girl forever.
“I’ve always noticed her, but didn’t feel a real attraction to her, until I saved her from busting her ass when she was about to fall down the stairs. She was soft and smelt good, and in looking at her and feeling her, I felt that stupid drop of my heart. I let her go, trying to seem calm, hoping when I stopped touching her, it would go away.”
That was real stupid of him to think. “Did it go away?” I ask sarcastically.
“Don’t be a dick. I got around the corner and felt my breath taken away, like they described what happens when you meet your mate. Shortly after, my heart started to beat again, but differently, and I became aware of her. You talk about how Tracey is calm and down-to-earth. Well, Glen is the complete opposite. She’s always revved up, always either trying to argue or get fucked. There isn’t an in-between.”
I laugh. “This comes back to you not being able to control yo girl.”
“So you don’t have to deal with going back and forth with Tracey? Even after you all bound?”
“No. Tracey doesn’t do back and forth, unless she thinks I’m hiding something from her.”
“And you are hiding something from her.”
“I may be, but back to you and Glen.” I’m not talking about me and Tracey. “Your taking away her choices will cause confusion in her.”
“Glen and I are fine. S
top worrying about us and focus on the possibility of yo girl choosing another guy.”
I sit forward, staring at him. He really just went there. “You know, if it wasn’t for you and your fucked up relationship, I wouldn’t have to worry about that.”
“Take that up with your disloyal sister, not me.”
“Scott, you’re a little too comfortable coming at my family.”
“But it’s okay for you to come at mine?” His head jerks as he speaks.
“All I’m saying is—” I sit back. “—you need to start handling your relationship better. Your girl is crazy and confused, and if you would have done things the right way, a lot of shit would have been avoided, including my girl being influenced. And since you want to talk about possibilities, if you don’t get yo shit together and start focusing on y’all’s needs, instead of her want to fuck. Don’t be surprised when she dives off a mountain in an attempt to kill you and her.”
He jumps from the loveseat, coming at me full-speed. I stand, catching him by his throat before he can attack. I lift him, and slam him hard on the floor. I smirk cockily as I loosen my grip. “Don’t get yo ass whooped, Scott.” He pushes my hand away.
“That won’t happen,” he says, rising from the floor, replying to my original statement as he pushes me back.
I don’t retaliate. “Watch yourself, Scott. We’ll see,” I say, sitting back down on the couch. “You just need to get yo shit together. I can’t keep saving all four of us because you can’t figure it out.”
“Everything that happened was an accident.” He sits back down. “I’ve apologized for it. I know I messed up and went about everything the wrong way. And no, she is not accepting, and it’s the bond forcing her to accept me. I get that!” he says forcefully. “I just don’t know how to fix it, yet. But we’ll figure it out,” he says calmer.
“Figure what out?” Olar asks, joining us.
“Nothing. Just discussing our lovely relationships,” I answer him.
“Okay, so have you figured out what you’re going to do about Tracey and Roehl?”
I shake my head. “Just wait for right now.” It is a bad situation, and being honest with myself, I don’t know what his plan is. But I know he will do anything to get what he wants. I also know that I will murder him, trying to get what’s mine.