There was something I needed to do before anything else. I swung by the store to make a purchase of my own and pulled up to cemetery, flowers in hand.
I knelt in front of Abbey's grave, and swiped some tears away with my hand before composing myself. I didn’t know her, but we did have something in common. Blake. And although I was still reeling from hearing the circumstances surrounding my parents’ death, I think it was the closure I needed. It hadn’t been Abbey’s fault. And I didn’t blame her. But I had to talk to her and let her know what I was feeling.
"Hey honey. You probably weren't expecting me. When I was here last I didn't know anything about what you went through. Blake gave me your letter to read. I have to tell you I was mad at you when he told me what happened. It tore my whole world apart but I definitely do not blame you. I wish for Blake's sake that you had let him help you. He would have done anything in his power to protect you. He loved you so much."
I breathed in the fresh air deeply. The breeze was picking up and specks of water landed on my face and clothes.
"I hope that you have found peace. I know you thought you were doing what was best. So I just wanted you to know that I'm not angry anymore. I forgive you.
I love your brother. I haven't told him yet. But I will. He's a good man, and I will do everything I can to make him happy. Just like you wanted. I won't let him slip away, I promise."
I laid the flower on top of the soil and stood to brush myself down. In coming back here I felt like I could really move forward now.
My phone buzzed. James. He's flipping out thinking you've gone. No answer on your phone. Gran won't tell him anything. And you're not at home. Please tell me you haven't left and not said goodbye.
Been to the cemetery. Home in five.
I looked at my phone and sure enough there were ten missed calls and two voicemails from Blake. I didn't want to listen to them. I just had to get home.
"Where is he?” I asked James as I hopped out the car.
"I tried to stop him but he went to the cemetery after you. I told him you would be back soon but he didn't want to wait."
"Damn it. He drives me fucking crazy." I laughed and threw my hands around in frustration.
"You're not going to break his heart are you?" James was worried. I didn't even want to know what he'd had to deal with the past twenty-four hours.
I shook my head. "No, hopefully I am going to help heal it. I love him. Pure and simple. And I know it's strong enough to get us through this." My voice was firm and insistent. I knew what I wanted. And that was Blake. James smiled, pulling me into a bear hug and kissing my cheek. "Go and get him babe. Take this." He closed my hand around the cold metal and waved me off.
Minutes later I was pulling up to Blake's house. His car wasn't in the driveway so I had made it here before him. I gripped the key James had given me and opened up the house. Immediately it felt like I was home. It smelt of Blake. And citrus. A warm comforting feeling wrapped itself around me and I took off my coat, laying it over the back of the sofa. I paced up and down the living room mindlessly. Any speech I had practiced on the way over here went out the window when I heard the door slam shut. I swallowed hard to try and push my heart back down to my chest.
"Cassie? Cassie?” He shouted loudly, his deep voice echoing throughout the whole house.
"I'm in here," I shouted back, my own voice cracking with emotion. Breathe. One, two, three.
"Oh thank god, I thought you'd left. And I felt so sick like I was gonna throw up there and then. I went to the cemetery but you'd already left. Please just hear me out." He begged. He didn't even let me reply before he carried on talking, crossing the room as he spoke. "I am so, so sorry for hurting you. I hate myself for it. I should have trusted you, and told you everything from the start. I was just so scared of what I was feeling at first, and then how you would react when you found out. I’ve never spoken about it before and I found it hard to believe that you were there for me no matter what. No-one has been before."
I tried to talk but he held his hand up signalling he had more to say.
"I love you. I love you so much and I know we can get past this if you just say you will take me back. I swear I'll spend my whole damn life trying to make you as happy as you make me. You mean everything to me. Being without you these past few weeks has been like someone has switched off all the lights and I couldn’t see a fucking thing. I can't take back what my sister did, the hurt it must have caused you but I'll do whatever I can from here on in to protect you from any more pain."
His piercing blue eyes found mine and were holding them in place. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to.
"Say something, my stomach's in knots here." He pleaded.
I frowned trying to think of the words that would best get across how I was feeling but I came up empty handed. Instead they just rolled out.
"I love you too. I just told your sister that I wasn't going to let you go. That I was going to make you happy because that's what she wanted. And what I want. You have to be honest with me about everything. Please don’t ever keep something from me again. If we can talk it out, we can get through anything. Just say the word and I will be right there whenever you are hurting to share your pain with you. I promise. I can’t fight the feelings anymore. I need you." I smiled up at him through blurry eyes and he let tears drop before wiping them away.
"God, love has turned me into a blubbering idiot. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I am so lucky to have found you, Cassandra Wilson." He pulled me close and wrapped his strong arms around me.
"I'm going to keep reminding you of that every day. You'll be sick of hearing it." I assured him. My hands went round his waist and I buried my head into his wide chest as far as I could.
"I'll never get sick of hearing it sweetheart. You are the only one I ever want. You make it all worthwhile."
Epilogue
Eight months Later
The cool breeze picks up and I pull my sweater round my shoulders trying to stop the chills running through me. But I don't think it's down to the wind. Blake has asked me to meet him here. In the clearing at the side of the road that heads straight into town. The place he brought me on our first date. And the place we have visited many times since just to catch an hour together alone.
We have needy friends who can't get their shit together. Laurel and James have been creeping around each other for the past eight months and even after numerous attempts at matchmaking from Blake and I, they still haven't managed a repeat of their one night together.
Gran had another heart attack not long after Blake and I got our own shit together. It's still a long standing joke that it was the shock of finding out about us that caused it to happen in the first place. She is getting better slowly, but I spend a lot of my time with her and in between that, running the florist and Blake's job we haven't had a whole lot of time to just, be. That's what tonight is about he told me.
We are both healing each other. I miss my parents everyday and he still finds it hard to talk about his sister. But he does, because he wants me to know her. We continue the tradition of putting a flower on her grave every week because it helps us to deal with it.
He still makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. And I still look at him and want to tear his clothes off. And when he wears those shirts with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, much like he is doing now as he appears from behind the trees, I get all hot and bothered, and have to take a few breaths to calm myself down.
"Hey sweetheart," he says as he reaches me and plants a kiss on my forehead. I reach up and grab a fistful of his shirt, pulling him into me and crushing my lips against his. He moves his hands down to cup my butt and stumbles slightly as I jump into his arms. I wrap my legs around him tightly and glide my fingers through his hair. I cling my legs to him so he can run his hands all over my body and moan as he parts my lips with his tongue, sending my blood pumping round like that damn freight train. He pulls away breathless, pa
nting and rests his forehead against mine. "Marry me?" he whispers so low I'm not sure if I heard right.
"What?" I squeak, needing him to repeat his question. My legs unclamp his waist and slide down to settle on the ground, but they aren't steady enough to hold my weight so I cling to his arms as tight as I can.
He reaches into his jeans pocket and pulls out a little blue box that I have seen a million times in films. This is really happening. He lowers himself onto one knee and I feel like I'm going to faint so I'm still clinging to him. "I kinda need to move my arms for this baby."
"Sorry" I mumble and move my hands but I'm so nervous I don't know what to do with them and I end up just fiddling with my cardigan buttons. He reaches out and grabs my hand, "Cassie, you've completely changed me for the better. I want to carry on being the man you deserve. Let me spend forever showing you how much you mean to me. Marry me?"
He looks up at me eyes sparkling, hands shaking, waiting for me to agree to forever. Can I give him that? The answer is a resounding hell yes, and a smile plays across my lips. I give my answer and fling my arms around him. He pulls back and grins at me with the smile that shows all teeth and those cute dimples, and I know then that this man will be my happily ever after.
Acknowledgements
To my wonderful husband who put up with me whilst I ignored him to concentrate on writing this book. Who knew it could be so hard to write a book whilst working full-time? I don’t know how people continue to do it but I have such an appreciation for the amazing authors that do. To the fantastic beta readers who gave me some great feedback on the first drafts on this story. I couldn’t have done it without you.
To the girls at work who put up with me talking endlessly about Cassie and Blake and the life I was creating for them. And to all the people out there that have taken a chance on reading this book: Thank you. If you’ve got any feedback then I would love to hear from you.
Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ghendersonbooks
Email Me: [email protected]
Sneak Peek at James’ story Sweet Reflection coming out late 2013.
Chapter 1
Eight months ago
James
Cassie’s talking to me but I’m not hearing anything that is coming out of her pretty little mouth. My eyes are fixed on the girl who just entered through the door behind her. It should be illegal to look that damn sexy. Her long blonde hair is pulled to the side revealing her bare neck and shoulder that are just begging to be kissed. Her body is wrapped in a short tight sparkly dress that stops in the middle of her thighs and my eyes sweep down her long tanned legs, and end at her ‘come fuck me’ shoes. I am instantly hard thinking about her in my bed with just the shoes on. Cassie follows my gaze, “She is who you slept with that night? The cute blonde?”
Cassie’s voice is too high but I don’t notice her expression because my eyes are busy watching this beautiful angel from a distance. “Yep,” I say proudly, knowing Blake is probably thinking the same thing as me: I am a lucky bastard. Cassie’s hair in my face distracts me as she whips her head round to glare at me, “Well douchebag that cute blonde is my best friend Laurel so you had better sit the fuck down before I kick your arse from here to the Caribbean!" She spits out her revelation and stalks across the bar to find Laurel. Blake howls with laughter and slaps my shoulder, “You are in for it now, she looked like she was going to punch you. I hope she does. You deserve it.”
I know he’s talking like that because I flirt with Cassie. I can’t help it. It’s just in my nature when I see a beautiful woman. And Blake’s girlfriend Cassie is gorgeous. I shake my head, “If I had known she was her best friend I wouldn’t have done it.” Even I don’t believe the words that are falling out my mouth. And I know Blake definitely doesn’t. He raises an eyebrow, “You can save the apologies for Cassie, mate. I know you, don’t forget.”
I nod and nurse my beer wondering what’s taking them so long. I glance around the bar trying to distinguish between the faces. Then I catch them out of the corner of my eye and they are heading in our direction. My heart starts beating a little faster and I wonder if tonight I’ll get a repeat with the blue-eyed angel now standing in front of me. I eye Cassie warily, searching her face for signs she is going to hit me but she doesn’t waver. In fact I think she is smirking at me. I wonder what’s changed her mood all of a sudden. Then she speaks to me, "This is my best friend Laurel. From what I hear, you two need some proper introductions. Laurel, this is James. James, this is Laurel." I shake my head, is Cassie really going to just pretend it didn’t happen? I didn’t realise it would have upset her so much. My eyes meet the angel’s eyes and I see them glistening. Her smile is breathtaking, and my mind wanders back to our liaison last week. I picture her laid out on my bed, writhing and moaning and I smile to myself. I take her hand and bend down to kiss her cheek, making a show of the introduction just like Cassie clearly wants. My hand lingers on hers slightly too long and our fingers brush as I let my hand fall away. “I told you Cassie, we have already met.” She looks at Laurel, then back at me, and I can tell there’s something I am missing. Her voice turns sweet and she cocks her head to the side. "Well if you're going to give a girl the best sex of her life, then I think you should make sure she is sober enough to remember it in the morning, don't you?"
I frown trying to make sense of her words and look between the girls who are desperately trying to hide their laughter. Next to me, Blake’s snorts are trying to break free but he’s holding back because I’m not catching on. Then it hits me like a baseball bat to my ego. She doesn’t remember me. She had sex with me and doesn’t remember. My cheeks are flushing bright red. I am not just embarrassed, I am fucking humiliated. I mumble something so incoherent I don’t even know what I am trying to say and turn quickly to down my beer. Their laughter makes me cringe inside even more. I’m annoyed she doesn’t remember me; I’m fucking pissed I can’t forget about her.
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Sweet Deception (Truth) Page 14