‘So he’s in the wrong for phoning you and he’s also in the wrong for not phoning you,’ said Zoe, looking out of the bay window onto the street. ‘Poor sod, can't win.’
‘I just can't believe how wrong it’s all gone. I was trying to keep things separate but they seem to have collided with catastrophic consequences.’ Anna joined Zoe at the window. ‘If I could just pause everything for three or four weeks, that way the house sale will have gone through, the divorce started and Tex’s restaurant opened, then start again. It would be perfect.’ Anna gulped away the lump that came to her throat. Every time she thought of losing Tex for good she felt physically sick and tearful. The desperation was so bleak, it was painful.
By Friday, she and Zoe had viewed several different flats and apartments, finally whittling it down to two possibilities. One contender was in the town centre, just a few minutes’ walk from Anna’s current house. A modern apartment, two bedrooms, a small kitchen, living room and bathroom. Not huge, but it would do for her and Luke. The other was the ground floor of a converted house. Again two bedrooms, but with the added bonus of a small garden and off-road parking. It was the cheaper of the two but it was further out from the town centre.
‘I thought I'd let you have a look and see what you think,’ said Anna, perched on the end of Luke's bed. He had stopped playing his guitar and was idly plucking at the strings.
‘I don't want to move to a poxy flat.’
‘Neither do I really, but we don't have any choice.’ Anna put on her best cheerful face. ‘Anyway, the flats are quite nice. We can have a look tomorrow.’
‘But the house won't be sold properly for weeks yet.’
‘I know, I'm just getting organised so there's no mad panic at the end.’
‘What about Dad?’ Luke had stopped plucking the strings, his arms hanging limply over the edge of the guitar.
‘What about him?’ Her best cheerful face slipping.
‘Is he coming with us?’
‘Oh, Luke, no. No, he's not.’ Anna felt so sorry for her son. He was obviously still clinging to some hope that his parents might get back together.
‘Are you still seeing Tex?’
‘We're both a bit busy at the moment. I've got the flat to sort out and he's got the new restaurant opening.’ No matter how she phrased it or tried to reason it, the pain was as acute as ever. She knew she was probably losing Tex for good, but she didn't see any other way at the moment.
‘That's a no then. So you and Dad … could possibly … you know … ’ There was a small spark of hope in his eyes. Anna knew she had to quash it.
‘No.’ Her response was firm and unwavering. She got up to leave, signalling the end of the conversation and finality of a reunion between her and Mark.
‘Mum!’ Luke called after her as she reached the door. ‘Dad didn't hit you the other night, did he?’
Anna looked at Luke, seeing the desperation in his face, and knowing he was trying to hide behind the casualness of his voice. He didn't want to believe his dad could do that.
‘No, he didn't hit me. I fell and caught my face.’
‘Tex hit Dad.’
‘A knee-jerk reaction. I'm sorry you had to see that.’
Luke shrugged. ‘Tex must really care about you to react like that.’
Anna couldn't answer, the lump in her throat took her by surprise. Nodding, she closed the door behind her.
Just what the hell else was going to go wrong? Tex ran his hand down the side of his Ford Ranger, following the line of the deep scratch. It stretched from the front wing all the way down to the rear light. One deep cut, right through the paint down to the metal. Definitely intentional and definitely malicious. He hadn’t noticed it last night when he drove home from work, but this morning as he went down to the car park below his apartment, there it was, clear as anything. It must have happened some time during service last night while he was working in the restaurant. Someone sure as hell had it in for him.
‘Hi, Anna, it's Jamie. You okay now?’
‘Yes, fine thanks,’ she replied, trying to sound upbeat. It had been two weeks now since she had returned from the States. Two weeks since her and Mark's big row. Two weeks without a word from Tex.
‘I need you to collect some papers and deliver them. You up for that?’
‘Yeah, sure,’ Anna replied. She didn't really feel up for it at all but she needed the work. Since agreeing on the flat in the centre of Chichester last week, she was now trying to scrape together the deposit.
‘Now before you say anything, just hear me out,’ began Jamie. ‘You need to pick up some paperwork from Tex's Arundel apartment and take it round to his fitters at the Tarrant Street restaurant.’
‘I don't know … ’
‘No, listen. Tex isn’t there, otherwise he could easily do it himself. He's in Guildford but his fitters are crying out for this plan and can't get on without it, so I need you to go like ten minutes ago.’
‘Okay, but I don't have a key.’ She couldn't really refuse, not if she wanted to keep her job.
‘Apparently the neighbour at number fourteen has a spare. Now, the papers are in an envelope on the coffee table. Give the neighbour back the key when you leave, drop the papers off and Bob's your uncle, job done.’
‘You make it sound very straightforward,’ sighed Anna.
‘That's because it is,’ said Jamie, then in a softer tone, ‘Look, Tex said things between you two are a bit tricky at the moment, but try not to let it affect your work, eh?’
‘Sorry, you're right.’ She knew he was, but it was difficult.
Anna punched in the familiar code to the car park barrier underneath Tex's apartment block. Parking her car, she saw that the space where his black Ford Ranger usually stood was empty. So he really wasn't here.
Miss Purdy, long-time occupier of apartment number fourteen and unofficial keyholder to a couple of the residents on the top floor, greeted Anna at the door.
‘Hello, my dear,’ she smiled warmly at Anna. ‘He's not given you a key yet then? I expect it won't be long though.’ She chuckled at her own joke. ‘He's a nice young man, you could do a lot worse than him. There you go. I'll leave you to it. Just drop the key back when you're done.’
Anna cautiously opened the door to Tex's apartment. Stepping inside, she called out, just to make sure it was empty. There was a silence and a stillness that only empty properties can generate. A small lump came to her throat. Normally at this point Tex would be greeting her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her. Oh for those lovely kisses.
She ventured into the living room, looking for the papers. Jamie had said they were on the table. No sign of them. Anna scoured the room and then the kitchen. No, definitely no envelope, no plans. Perhaps they were in the bedroom. She paused at the door, the memories of her and Tex spending loving hours together in bed came flooding back. Oh the pain in her heart as she thought of those beautiful times that would no longer be. Her hand shaking slightly, Anna pushed open the bedroom door.
The bed was immaculately made, as usual, the clock on the bedside table as it always was. Everything neat and tidy. No sign of any drawings in here. She'd have to ring Jamie.
Tex stood silently in the living room, watching her search her bag, presumably for her phone, fishing it out from the bottom as she always did. He had felt like an undercover surveillance cop earlier as, parked out on the street a safe distance away, he had watched her drive in and park up.
She stopped searching her bag, looked up and then jumped and shrieked before a small gasp of relief escaped as she realised it was him.
Chapter Twenty Seven
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,’ he spoke softly.
‘I was getting some paperwork. Jamie asked me. He said you were in Guildford. I can't find the papers though. He said they were on the table. I was just looking to see if I could find them.’ She was gabbling. Tex waited patiently, it might have been amusing under different circumstances.
‘Okay. You?’
Tex nodded. ‘Okay.’ It was a lie; he hadn't been okay at all. He had been worried sick about her, but he had been patient and given her the space she'd asked for. How much space did she need? He couldn't wait any longer. He looked at her face, no sign of the graze now. She looked so small, so uncertain standing there. He wanted to sweep her up into his arms, take her away, but he knew he had to tread slowly. Carefully. ‘Is Mark still here?’
Anna nodded, twiddling the rings on her finger rapidly.
‘Has he been behaving himself?’ Tex couldn't disguise the tension in his voice that the thought of Mark with Anna brought to him.
‘He was drunk.’
‘That's no excuse.’
‘You shouldn't have hit him.’
‘He deserved it.’ Hell, what was wrong with her, defending the son of a bitch? Tex was fighting to keep calm, the anger rising inside of him as he remembered the mess he had found her in.
‘Tex, please, I don't want to talk about it. It's over and done.’ Anna looked hesitant and unsure of herself. Or was she unsure of him? She'd had two weeks with Mark. Had they made up? Was that why she’d been avoiding him?
‘So when were you gonna ring me?’ It came across harsher than he intended. ‘I've been worried about you.’
‘I was going to but with all that's been going on … ’ She looked down at the floor, staring at her feet. ‘I just need a bit more time.’
‘More time! Why do you need space at all? What is there to think about? We had a great week together, you come home, Mark is there, you fight, you end up with a grazed face and after all that, it's me you need space from. Tell me, Anna, just what the hell I am missing here?’ The frustration spilled over as Tex angrily thrust his hands to his head, trying to keep in control. He checked himself as he saw Anna physically flinch at the tone in his voice.
‘He didn’t attack me. I told you before. I tripped over a book and caught my face.’ She didn’t look up as she spoke. Was that because she couldn’t look him in the eye? Was she covering up for him?
‘I’m meant to believe that, am I?’
Now she looked up at him. ‘I'd better go,’ she said quietly, walking across the living room.
‘Don't go, not yet.’ He stood in her way, unsure whether he should hold her. Instead, he rested his forehead on hers. He could feel the heat of her skin, smell her sweet scent, almost taste it. ‘I've missed you,’ he whispered, gently sliding his hands down the length of her arms, feeling for her hands, holding them in his, rubbing the tops with his thumbs. Tex pulled away slightly. Her gaze lowered, a tear trickling down her face.
‘We can work this out,’ he whispered softly. Just being in contact with her stirred him. He wanted her so badly, in every way. Still she stood there, not speaking, more tears falling.
‘Anna, we can make this work. I know we can. You must believe me. Trust me. Put your past, your marriage, him, behind you. It will be okay. I promise.’ Tex kissed her on the mouth, a small gentle kiss. Another one. He felt her respond, lift her head and return the kiss. Thank the Lord, they were going to be okay. He drew her to him, stroking her head as it rested against his chest. ‘I can fix this.’
Well, he could fix the house sale, he just wished Spencer Hogan would hurry up and get back to him. Al had phoned yesterday to say that Spence was working on something, but it was going to take a while longer. Trouble was, Tex didn’t have much time left. His deadline with Mark was looming fast.
Without warning, Anna suddenly pulled away. ‘I’m sorry, Tex,’ she began. ‘I can’t do this.’
‘Can’t do what exactly? Trust me? Why can’t you trust me? I can fix this for you.’ Jeez, what was it going to take?
‘How exactly do you propose to fix it?’ It was an accusation, a challenge, not really a question.
‘I can buy the house myself. That way he gets his money, goes back to America and you and Luke can carry on living there.’
He thought she would be pleased. Delighted even. How wrong he was.
‘No! If you buy the house, I will then be in your debt. Don’t you see?’ She was almost shouting now, pacing back and forth. ‘I am in this mess because I am reliant on him for a home. If you buy it, nothing changes for me. What happens when things between us are over? I will be in the same position I am now. I don’t want to need anyone. Not even you.’
It stung him to hear her say that and with such conviction. She really meant it. Now he was angry with her.
‘What does that mean?’
‘It means I’m sorting this out myself. Don’t get involved.’
He couldn’t keep the anger at bay. The strain of trying to make her see sense, the frustration at her stubbornness and the pain of her rejection cut him to the core. ‘I am on your side and yet you push me away.’ The frustration surged through his body. He wanted to shake some sense into her. ‘I thought we had something special but I was wrong. You clearly don’t want me. Maybe it was him you wanted all along.’ It was a gamble. He was forcing her hand, leaving her no option but to deny it. He sounded desperate. He was desperate.
Anna looked at him for what seemed an eternity. Staring intently. When she finally spoke, her voice was hard and cold. ‘I thought we had something special too. If you truly believe that I was just trying to get back with Mark, then, like you, I was wrong about us. About you.’ With that she was across the room, breaking in to a run as she fled down the hallway, dropping the key, not bothering to close the door, such was her haste to escape.
‘Anna!’ Tex shouted, chasing after her. His gamble hadn’t paid off. It had failed, big time. He leaned over the bannister, he could hear her feet pattering on the staircase. ‘Anna! Wait!’ He hurtled down the steps, stopping at the first floor and again leaning over the bannister as he heard her feet clattering across the foyer, and then the clunk of the door as it shut behind her. She was gone.
Tex didn't think he'd ever experienced the feeling he had now. A feeling of complete and utter helplessness and hopelessness, his feet heavy on the steps as he went back up to his apartment. She's gone. She's gone. The words going round in his mind, tormenting him. He had a vague image of Miss Purdy standing in her doorway, asking if he was all right. He didn't answer. He couldn't answer. Anna was gone.
He stalked around his apartment angry and despondent, as if he were going to find the answers to it all hidden away in one of the rooms. Every nook, cranny, corner and space of the apartment reminded him of her.
She was gone.
‘For fuck’s sake!’ he shouted at the top of his voice. The pent-up frustration no longer under control, he swept his arm across the worktop, sending cups, kettle and coffee pot crashing and smashing to the floor. He kicked them for good measure, scattering them across the tiles.
Desperation and despair overwhelming him, he leaned on the worktop with his hands, dropping his head, taking long, deep breaths in an effort to regain control. The anger was only masking the pain he could feel burning in the pit of his stomach. The more the anger subsided, the more the pain intensified.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Tex tightened his shoelace as Nathan took a call.
‘Thank you very much, Titch.’
Tex’s attention was immediately piqued but he carried on fiddling with his shoe, not wishing to alert Nathan to the fact that he knew it was Anna on the other end.
‘Erm, I’m with a client actually.’
He obviously wasn’t going to elaborate. Tex made to adjust his other shoelace.
‘Zoe? Something planned? You must be joking. She scribbled her name on the birthday card the kids made but that’s about it.’ Nathan sighed.
Still Tex
didn’t look up, but he was sure Nathan was glancing his way. His voice was lower as he carried on, but not low enough that Tex couldn’t hear what was being said.
‘Lunch sounds great. I could be with you for, say, one o’clock. Is that okay?’ Nathan shut his phone and turned to Tex. ‘Sorry about that.’
Tex toyed with the idea of asking after Anna, but changed his mind. What was the point? The less he knew, the less it hurt. He had the restaurant to occupy himself with now. The opening was only a few days away, and he had discovered that, sharing his time equally between the Arundel and Guildford restaurant, he was usually too busy or too tired to dwell much on Anna. Although he couldn’t avoid the dreams.
‘Happy birthday,’ Tex said without much enthusiasm as the two men stepped out into the sunshine ready for their morning run.
‘You heard then?’ said Nathan as they began their stretching exercises. ‘Look, Tex, I know it’s none of my business…’
‘If you know that, then don’t bother.’ Probably uncalled for but what the hell, this conversation would only go places he had no intention of exploring.
If Nathan was going to protest, he wasn’t given the chance, as from across the road, Christine jogged over to them.
‘Well, hello you two,’ she smiled, standing on the forecourt, hands on hips. ‘Now there’s a sight for sore eyes.’
Tex nodded a small acknowledgement.
‘Hi, Christine,’ answered Nathan.
‘I have a confession to make,’ Christine said to Nathan, giving him a hug. ‘I’m really sorry but I forgot your birthday. Sorry Natty.’
Tex couldn’t disguise the scoffing noise he made at Christine’s pet name. He looked at Nathan, who at least had the decency to look embarrassed.
The Little Shop of Afternoon Delights Page 88