by Anne Tenino
“Yeah,” Toby whispered. He was so freaking eager for this he didn’t think Jock could go fast enough to hurt him. Still, he said, “Take it slow.” He wanted it to last.
Jock wanted to feel Toby around him, gripping his cock. Like, learn the texture of him without a condom, but that would be stupid, so Jock put the idea out of his mind and took one more look at the body splayed open beneath him, waiting, before he got down to business.
Toby had chest hair, which Jock had never thought about, but now he didn’t want to ever not think about. He’d devote every jerk-off session from here on out to furry guys. Swirls of dark around the nipples that spread to his breastbone and then down until it widened across his stomach, thickening into a whole nest where the goods were kept. Toby’s dick bowed up from his stomach, pointing in a perfect curve to his belly button, weighty and veiny and glistening at the tip. His balls, two lopsided little spheres in a sac crowning the shaft, were thrusting up like they wanted Jock to notice them, wrinkling tight in anticipation. A line ran down between them, a continuation of the one that started on Toby’s chest, until it swirled around his asshole, brown hair sprinkled all over, obscuring it in some places and slicked down with lube where Toby’d trailed it when he’d fingered himself open.
Hottest thing he’d ever seen in real life. Jock’s prick drooled like a bloodhound inside the condom, begging to go off leash. He gripped the base tighter, partly to keep himself in check and partly in preparation, and directed it until the latex nipple brushed Toby’s hole, making it flex in reaction. Like it wanted more.
He gave it more. Fed the head of his dick into Toby’s ass, pushing harder when Toby told him to, until it opened for him and swallowed the first half inch or so. “Oh fuck.” Better than a chick or a fleshlight. So hot and tight and slick—even if he couldn’t touch it with his bare skin.
“Yeah,” Toby agreed, sucking in a breath. “Don’t stop.”
He was way ahead of him, already working on getting that next inch in there, then another, watching himself disappear inside Toby with a sense of awe. Like he’d performed that age-old magic trick of hiding the salami without any foreknowledge. He slid back out just so he could see himself burying his dick in Toby’s ass all over, then did it again, working up a rhythm. So much more than the simple mechanical act of sex. If he’d had any doubts about whether or not he was gay, fucking a guy would have cleared that right up. But he’d had no doubts, and that made the experience even more mind-blowing. Validation of everything he’d thought about himself, maybe even everything he’d done to be here now.
Toby laid his hand on his own dick, stroking it in time with Jock’s thrusts, eyes squeezed tightly shut and face contorted as if he were in pain. That must mean Jock was doing it right and then some, because Toby started grunting and urging him on breathlessly, digging fingernails into Jock’s flank.
Please let him come before I do, he prayed to no one in particular. He’d maybe thought this would be one of those things where he’d get off too fast and have to help Toby out after, but now, looking down at him, watching Toby take his dick like this, Jock needed to see his partner come all over his own belly and know it was driven by his cock shoving into him.
Toby’s eyes flew open just when Jock thought he couldn’t make it any longer, that the explosive friction of stroking into hot slickness would make him blow before Toby was ready. But Toby gasped, mouth hanging open, and his whole body arched up toward Jock’s before he started spilling cum onto his abdomen, the muscles of his ass squeezing Jock tight.
“Fuck yes.” Jock planted his hands next to Toby’s head and bent over him, pretzeling Toby’s spine, taking his mouth and filling him fully at both ends, losing control over his nuts. Dumping cum into the rubber and a shout into Toby’s throat. Shaking so hard he nearly came apart at the knees and elbows.
He couldn’t stop kissing Toby, even after he’d filled the condom—not Toby, like he wanted to so much it made him ache—and the last of the aftershocks died. Even after Jock was mostly limp, his hips ground against Toby’s butt cheeks as he sucked on Toby’s lips.
So, yeah, it was fantastic. Better than he’d hoped. He didn’t want it to end. But finally he had to pull himself off of the dude—his arms were shaking too much to hold him up—and throw himself onto his back beside Toby.
“Jesus, fucking, Christ,” Toby panted. “What just happened?”
Jock laughed so hard he lost the breath he’d managed to catch in the last few seconds. “If you don’t know, we’re both fucked,” he gasped out.
Toby chuckled along with him, rolling over and tossing his arm over Jock’s chest, pulling himself closer, until he rested his head on Jock’s shoulder. “No, I’m fucked. I may not be able to sit all day tomorrow, but that was worth it.” He pulled the condom off of Jock carefully, twisting the end and leaning across Jock’s body to drop it over the side of the bed and turn off the lamp on the nightstand. Then he settled back in, head under Jock’s chin and fingers splayed over one of his pectoral muscles.
That was when it got a little weird.
What should he do now? Pat Toby’s back or something? Was this postcoital affection? Another thing he hadn’t thought about before. Did he like it as much as body hair? Toby’s gusting breaths felt good on the skin of his chest, like caresses, and Toby’s hair tangled in the stubble of Jock’s jaw like velcro. Attaching them. So he bent his arm the other way, palming Toby’s back and pulling his warmth a little bit closer. Toby slid his leg across Jock’s thigh and sighed vocally, slumping against him.
“Good first time?” Toby asked in a mumble.
Jock snorted. “Uh, yeah.” Did anyone’s first time suck?
“Mmm.” Toby nodded, or possibly just made his head more comfortable against Jock’s neck. He mumbled something else before rolling over and grabbing a blanket from the other side of the bed, throwing it haphazardly over both of them. Only covering about half of Jock’s body, but it was enough. Then, Jock was pretty sure, Toby fell asleep.
Jock stayed awake forever staring into the dark, thinking about nothing in particular. More alive than he’d been since . . . he didn’t know.
Thank fuck he finally had that out of the way, and he hadn’t even had to field any questions about taking it up the ass.
At two-something in the morning, Toby woke up to find Jock sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey,” Toby murmured, yawning and scooting closer to run a hand down Jock’s naked back.
“Hey.” He didn’t turn, even when Toby touched him. “Where’d my jeans end up?”
Could he really want to leave? Toby’d thought they’d had a good time, and he’d have liked more of it. He had to be misreading this. “If you’re just going to the bathroom—”
Jock shook his head. “No, I need to head back to the dorm.”
Well, that was pretty clear. “Oh, yeah. Of course.” A thump on the wall told him Larry was home.
“Um, your roommate’s straight, huh?” Jock asked, head tilted down like he was searching the floor. Except he was too still.
“Shit,” Toby muttered, sitting up himself. “Did Larry bring a girl home? I can’t believe I slept through it.” Usually he liked to give color commentary through the wall. Larry’d probably freaked Jock out. That bastard was such a thorn in Toby’s side.
Jock shrugged, his shoulders moving jerkily. “They were mostly quiet. I wasn’t sleeping.”
So, like, he’d been lying here awake the last hour or two? Toby didn’t want to read too much into it, but it all contributed to the sinking feeling in his gut. The one telling him Jock wasn’t interested in a repeat visit. He stifled a sigh and forced his voice to sound friendly. “I’ll give you a ride, it’s a couple miles to campus from here.”
“You don’t have to,” Jock said, glancing over his shoulder, spine relaxing now. Because he knew Toby’d let him leave? Then he stood, muscles flexing and gliding in the moonlight, all his actions smooth and coordinated. No wonder he could dance—most big guys
didn’t move that easily. He had to be fast on his skates, too, didn’t he? Toby’d thought hockey players tended to be smaller than that. He watched the show as Jock walked to the foot of the bed, unself-consciously naked, frowning at the floor. The frown cleared and he bent over. When he stood back up he had his briefs in his hand.
God, don’t cover that up, Toby’s libido whined. “You could stay if you wanted.” We could fuck the night away. Or suck, or any number of things. Many times.
Jock looked at him, face blank for a second, then his eyes flickered to the wall behind Toby’s head. Larry. “I don’t really want to run into your roommate over cereal in the morning.”
So maybe it was just jitters over being newly out? Either way, the guy was clearly leaving. Toby slid out from under the comforter, not anywhere near as confident as Jock was. He hadn’t thought about it while they were fucking, but he wasn’t as fit as he used to be. Surreptitiously he looked down, and yes, his stomach totally pooched out, nary an abdominal muscle to be seen.
Suddenly Jock’s hand landed on the exact spot on his body that Toby was inspecting. “I like all this hair. It’s hot.”
Really? He’d been thinking he had too much on his gut, but if Jock wanted to disagree, he wouldn’t argue. “Thanks. But I’m nothing close to as sexy as you are.” Good lord, did he sound as bashful and awkward to Jock as he did to himself? This was the most disorienting postcoital experience of his life, bar none, and he couldn’t figure out how to get it back on track. Self-confidence had never been a major issue for him, just small bobbles here and there, but he’d never misread a guy this completely before. What. The. Fuck? Had he been imagining that spark beyond lust?
“Thank you.” Jock slid his hand around Toby’s body, combing his fingers through the curls there and then squeezing him in a sideways half hug. “And thanks for making my first time fantastic.” Then he kissed Toby’s cheek.
That was the moment Toby definitely knew their hookup had been a one-off. An experience never to be repeated again. He forced himself to meet Jock’s eyes. “Happy to oblige. Everyone’s first time should be good. Now I’ll drive you back to campus—it’s part of my full-service deflowering package.”
Jock grinned at him, tilting his head down for a soft kiss on the lips—a friend kiss, no tongue, just platonic affection. “I like you. You make me laugh.”
Toby coerced his face into a smile. “I like you too.” Much, much more than Jock realized. Too bad the feeling wasn’t reciprocated.
Hooking up was easy, at least now that he’d jumped that first hurdle. The half-dozen blowjobs and handjobs he’d managed to score before had been more accidental than intentional, and most of the time he’d only sort of enjoyed them because he’d been so freaked about getting caught. After Toby broke the ice for him, Jock managed to get laid three times the next week. He was starting to think that he’d been ignoring a lot of signals from gay guys over the last couple years. All he had to do was go to the Slaughterhouse, stand around and check out all the guys on offer until he saw one he liked, then make significant eye contact. After that, the other dude did everything. None of them changed their minds when he said he wanted to top, either. As far as he could tell, everyone wanted to bottom.
The third time kind of ruined it for him, though. It was the Monday a week after he had gone home with Toby, and by then he was starting to recognize some guys from the bar on campus. And some of them recognized him. In the break between his math class and his late-afternoon lab he went to the Beatnick Café in the student union to get a latte before finding a place to study. When the barista handed him his drink, he refused to let go after Jock had wrapped his fingers around the cup.
Jock scowled at him, and he smiled. “Hi, I’m Kenny. I’ve seen you at the bar.”
Ahhh. “Yeah?” He smiled back.
Kenny let go of the cup slowly, brushing his fingers against Jock’s. “My shift here ends at four.”
He’d never really made an assignation with a guy on campus before, but glancing around the café, he could see no one he knew, or anyone watching them. And Kenny was cute—huge smile, carefully mussed blond hair, and the svelte twink body type. He probably didn’t have any chest hair, but a quick survey assured Jock he’d have abs. The apron the dude had on covered them up, but no one wore a shirt two sizes too small if they didn’t have the goods. “I get out of chem lab at 4:25.”
Kenny rested his hip against the counter, leaning closer to Jock. Close enough to spark up that subtle electric charge two attracted bodies created when in proximity. “Mmm, and where do you usually go after chem lab?”
“Well, today I plan to stand out front of Miller Hall, looking for company.”
Kenny straightened, looking at him from under his lashes. “Maybe today you’ll find some.”
The forecast looked good, didn’t it? Jock smiled at him one more time, making an obvious scan of Kenny’s body again—he’d finally clued into the fact that that was sort of like a good-bye handshake in the language of pre-fuck flirting—and went to dump a packet of sugar in his drink. When he set the cup down, he realized Kenny’d written his phone number on it, too. Hedging his bets.
Yeah, hooking up was easy.
Kenny wanted Jock to fuck him, and his eyes lit up in a very gratifying way as he watched Jock get naked in his dorm room, tongue captured between his teeth as if he needed to keep it from going rogue. Jock’s original estimation was right, the guy did have abs. No body hair, though—not anywhere. Jock had been with a chick who’d waxed her pubes, and he’d seen it on guys in porn, but for some reason he hadn’t expected to encounter it in real life. As he was first entering Kenny, for a fleeting second he thought he might actually be with a girl and nearly went soft.
“Something wrong?” Kenny asked, arching to push his hips just a little closer to Jock.
He shook his head and finished the job. Kenny’s tight ass made it easy. It just wasn’t as hot as Jock had hoped. In truth, none of the three other guys he’d been with had been quite as good as Toby. Lack of experience, maybe, his and theirs.
Afterward, when he was sitting on the edge of Kenny’s tiny bed, looking for his clothes, Kenny decided a little postcoital chitchat was in order. “So, what did you think of Toby?”
“What?” Jock nearly ripped his briefs in half. “What do you know about that?” He waited, stock-still, refusing to turn and look at Kenny. Where did this guy get off, talking to him about Toby? If the dude thought he had the right, he was dead wrong.
“I saw you leave the Slaughterhouse with him,” Kenny said in a perfectly normal voice. At least, as far as Jock knew it was normal, based on their very short acquaintance. “He’s a dreamy fuck,” he added with a sigh.
“I wouldn’t know,” Jock said, standing and yanking his underwear up his legs.
Kenny either ignored Jock’s conversation-killing tone or didn’t notice. “You should totally take him for a spin if you get another chance. He really knows how to use his hips. I mean, he doesn’t just shove it in and race toward the finish line, he takes the scenic route.”
Jock’s head got caught in his shirt, or he might have responded to that. Probably inappropriately. When he finally got untangled, Kenny was staring at him, eyes huge and mouth gaping. “Uh, not that there’s anything wrong with hard and fast. Sometimes that’s exactly what you want, you know? Especially for an early-evening quickie.”
Early-evening quickie. Was that supposed to refer to him? Jock dropped onto the bed, shoving his feet in his shoes. “Dude, I’m not that interested in discussing my sex life with you.” He stood up again and scowled down at the figure still lying in the bed. Why the fuck would Toby waste his time on this guy?
“Well, now,” Kenny said softly. He sat up, sheet falling off his chest and showing those abs Jock had thought would be worth seeing. “Don’t get all protectionist, sweetheart. You can’t conduct your adventures someplace as small as Calapooya and think no one’s going to notice, especially if you get around.
Everyone will know you and I hooked up.”
Oh this little prick. “Are you saying you’re going to make sure of that?” Jock’s fists balled up at his sides, so he shoved them in his pockets. Until he needed them.
Kenny just rolled his eyes. “No, I’m saying people saw you walk into my dorm with me. I’m saying you met me in front of Miller Hall when about a hundred other students were passing by.”
He flashed hot, then cold. Holy shit, he’d known he shouldn’t have hooked up with a guy on campus. Now fucking everyone would know, wouldn’t they?
Kenny went on, making it worse “I’m saying the girl on shift with me at the café totally knows what I was doing when I gave you your drink.”
Anybody who didn’t already know he was gay could figure it out from this one fuck. So much for it being his business. Were they gonna start keeping tabs on who he slept with? Gay Hookup Bingo.
“It’s not the first time I’ve met a guy that way.” Kenny smiled coldly, batting his lashes. “I’m sorry, sugar. I hope you didn’t think you were special.”
Jock dropped his head, trying to get his temper under control and make the knot in his chest dissolve. “Yeah, I get it.” Like he fucking cared what this prick thought of him? “You’re not special either. And I need to get going.”
Kenny huffed. “Yes, you do.” Just when Jock was leaving the room, he added in an almost admiring tone, “Thanks for the totally banging fuck.”
He didn’t know for sure, but that sounded like a backhanded compliment to him.
Toby didn’t get the partial draft of his thesis done the week after midterms. In truth, he’d barely managed another 2,000 words. It was asinine to blame it on what had happened with Jock, but he could trace his inspiration-killing ennui right back to that moment when Jock had said “Thanks for making my first time fantastic.” He hadn’t needed to add, “Now that I’ve popped that cherry, I’m going to go out and find other guys to fuck,” because it had all been right there in his voice.