Music, Ink, and Love

by Jude Ouvrard

  “I know, babe. It’s perfect.”

  The delivery guy brought the last nightstand into the room, still wrapped in the protective plastic wrapper.

  Dad signed the papers. Nix continued to stare, touched and awed at our bedroom. Dad and I had painted a wall in a cherry red that she wanted. With the furniture it looked pretty neat. It added to the excitement of moving here.

  Colleen joined her, and while they talked about how to place everything, Dad and I finished with the last wall. My shoulders were starting to stiffen up and my stomach kept yelling at me to get some food.

  The joy coming out through Nix’s voice echoed in the house. She was laughing and joking with Colleen. Both of them got along really well. I also heard them moving around the furniture. I had that fucking smile on my face, I thought I had never been happy like this in my life. I wished Mom could have met her, but I was pretty sure she had sent Nix my way. To save me from the aching sadness, I tried not to think about it too much, but I thought Mom would have had a good time decorating the house with Nix.

  It made me think that Nix might have felt the same way about her mom. Hers was still alive, but she had never contacted Nix after that day. Unbelievable! Thankfully, Colleen was here to fill that blank and I believed it made it better for Nix. And for me.

  We worked inside the house and cleaned everything. We could finally move in. Everything was ready.

  “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight. I’m way too excited about this.”

  “You better sleep, babe. Tomorrow will be a very long day if you don’t.”

  “I might go out for a run, burn some energy.” She suggested, but it had been raining on and off all day.

  “I can think of something else if you want to burn off some of your energy. Let me know if you’re interested.” I teased.

  “Oh really? What is it?” She said, closing in on me, with the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth.

  Nix had decided to play the game.

  “You and me, clothes off. Anywhere: bed, table, wall, floor.” I paused, looking at her accelerated breathing and the shade of red on her cheeks. “Or shower.” I cupped her face. “You decide.”

  “Hey, kids. Ready to get something to eat?” Dad asked, completely ruining that intense moment. I could almost imagine the feel of her against my skin.

  “Sure, we’re coming.” She said, still looking into my eyes. I could feel her desire for me.

  “Are you kids alright?” The tone in his voice suggested that something wasn’t right.

  I chuckled, if he only knew. “We’re good.” So good.

  She smiled, obviously shy that my dad had caught us discussing sex.

  Chapter EIGHTEEN

  I woke up bright and early. The bed had lost its warmth, its sweet perfume. My Star was gone, I could no longer sleep. I had to find her, hug her, and kiss her.

  Nix had already showered by the time I found her and she had packed half of our kitchen supplies.

  “Good morning, Rock Star.” My morning voice came in full force.

  “Hey, babe. Good morning.” Hers had a different tone to it as well. Thick and rusty. She sniffled delicately. Probably not wanting me to question her.

  “Are you okay?” I questioned her anyway.

  She shrugged not looking at me. “Yes... No... I don’t know. I woke up at 5 am and I had all these things in my mind. I remembered when we first moved here and how hard it was to convince my mom.” Her damn mom!

  “It’s okay, Nix. You’re allowed to feel sad.” But I hated it. In my opinion, her life had to be filled with love and happiness. I hated that her mom still held control over her.

  “I’m not sad. I’m finally living my life how I want to. It’s the end of that chapter, I guess.” She tittered.

  “It is, but we’re about to start the best chapter yet.” I pulled her to me and turned her around so I could see her face. “Come here, babe, let me hold you, hold your hand.” My lips against her soft hair, I kissed her repeatedly. “It’s okay, Nix.”

  “God, I love you.” She whispered, before continuing in a louder voice. “I know I’m not alone, I have you, but all these things are happening to me and I realize how alone I am.”

  “Do you want to contact her, Phoenix?” The question came out of my mouth before I could seriously think about it. It might not be the right timing to talk about this.

  “No... I don’t want to. If I do, she’s just going to try to control everything again and she’s going to be difficult with you. I don’t need that. I know that in my heart, I’m better now, but my mind... I miss having a mom, but I don’t miss mine.” She started sobbing.

  “Hey... It’s impossible to replace a mom, I know that but Bekka, Tiff, Val and even Colleen are here for you. You’re not alone. I think Colleen is really fond of you.”

  “She’s a sweetheart.” Her tender lips swept against mine, and kissed me. “Thank you.”

  She took a deep breath, wiping her tears with the back of her hands and went back to packing. She amazed me.

  “Nix, you can take a break for five minutes.” I could think of a few things we could do in those five minutes.

  “I know, but I just want to get this done and take my break after. I’m almost done.”

  Right! “Let me help you.” I rubbed her ass with my hand and hugged her. Her back to my front, she held my arms with hers. “We’re turning that page together, babe. I’m here with you.”

  “I’m with you, too.” Her heartbeat became stronger against my hand. I felt my body mold against hers. “We should be packing before this gets out of hand.”

  “Tonight.”

  She laughed quietly. The moving truck arrived minutes later. We barely had time to see them moving the boxes around or our washing machine, everything went so fucking fast. They were talking loudly, way too loud for 7 am. They made me dizzy but damn, were they efficient! The rooms were empty, all that was left was the kitchen table and few other things, but we were giving them to charity since we had bought new ones.

  Nix went through all of the rooms to make sure nothing was left. She checked the closets and I could tell, she had a hard time saying goodbye.

  “Okay, I’m done.” She breathed. “We better get to the house before they start unloading the truck.”

  “Dad is there. He just called me.” I kept watching her, studying her.

  She looked through the window, leaning against the wall. “Okay.” She mumbled, barely audible.

  “Babe, come here.” Nix never lifted her eyes from the floor but she came to me, resting her head against my chest.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I wanted to yell at her. “Stop, Nix. You’re just feeling things. It’s normal.” I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the perfume of her shampoo. “Even I liked this place, but I’m just too excited with the new house to really feel something about leaving the apartment.”

  “I know. I’m excited too.” She said, emotionless.

  “Smile for me, babe, I want to see you smile.” She was so gorgeous with that smile of hers. “From now on, it’s a happy day. You and I, in our new home, working on making our own memories. Building our future together.”

  She smiled, hiding in the crook of my underarm.

  “Look at me.” I heard her giggle. “Nix Silverstone, look at me.” She giggled louder. “You’re adorable when you smile.”

  She wrapped her arms around me, squeezed me tight. “Come on, Angel, we have to go. Our new life awaits.”

  For the last time, my mustang left the parking space of the apartment. I would no longer worry about getting my car scratched. I would park my car in the safety of my driveway. How cool was that?

  Dad controlled the situation at the house. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a polo, something I had almost never seen. The moving guys had already cleared half of the truck, and the living room was filled with boxes. I was discouraged just by the sight of them. Nix was outside, getting our clothes out of the
car. She couldn’t wait to get our bedroom ready. She loved the new furniture my dad had gotten us and she already had some picture frames ready to hang. Her happiness had finally won over her sadness and that meant more than anything to me. We both loved this house and we had been looking forward to moving in, I didn't want her past alter our future.

  “Levi?” I heard her calling my name from the outside. “Levi?”

  “What? Are you okay?”

  “Please grab that pile before I drop everything. It’s heavier than I thought!”

  I helped her out but I couldn't control my laughter. “You have more than half of the closet here!”

  “I know. It was fine at first.” She hurried to our room and placed the pile of clothes on the bed. Nix laughed loudly as soon as she had freed herself and circled her arms around me as soon as I had dropped the other pile.

  “I love our room. I never thought I'd own a room like this in my life.”

  I kissed her temple tenderly. “We'll spend a lot of time here. Newly married couples are always filled with passion and spend lots of time making love.” I joked.

  “All about sex, eh? Levi... What am I going to do with you?”

  I knew what exactly, I had plenty of ideas passing through my mind...

  “Son, we need you downstairs.”

  “Crap.” I said loud enough for Nix to hear. Talking about sex with my girl was fun. I could tell she was uncomfortable, but the blush on her cheeks made her so adorable, I couldn’t stop myself. I missed her.

  Nix laughed with her hand covering her mouth. She was trying to subdue the sounds.

  When I met my father, the delivery truck was already here with our kitchen table and living room furniture.

  “I thought they were supposed to get here in the afternoon?”

  “Don’t worry about it, these guys are used to situations like this.”

  With the help of my father, we started dispatching the boxes to the right rooms because we wouldn’t be able to get the couch inside otherwise. Nix tried to make some room in the kitchen for the table. The house was a disaster. Boxes everywhere, empty or full. The floors were all dirty. It sucked after all the time we spent cleaning it yesterday.

  Once everything was unloaded and delivered, the house looked like a war zone. The new couch and TV were placed in the living room, but we had to step between rows of boxes to reach anything.

  Colleen arrived with a homemade lunch just in time. She had prepared chicken salad sandwiches, fresh juice and brownies. I devoured my lunch in seconds. I hadn’t really taken the time to eat or drink anything since I woke up. How stupid was I? I could have eaten another lunch like that. Colleen had sandwich-making skills.

  “It looks like someone was hungry.” Nix, commenting on how fast I ate. She only had eaten half of her sandwich.

  “You didn't feed me, woman.”

  Her jaw hit the table and I started laughing. She, of course, elbowed me in the ribs.

  “That hurt.”

  She stuck her tongue out. “You deserved it.”

  She normally thought about stuff like that, though. On numerous occasions, she had prepared me a lunch to take to the shop, always so thoughtful. My comment was a low blow, I had to admit it.

  The anxiety of moving, and making sure everything was okay, tired me. With my belly full and the exhaustion of the move, I wished I could have taken an afternoon nap. It would have been better than anything this world could offer. My girl looked tired too. She hadn’t slept much either. Even tired, she had worked through all the kitchen boxes. The countertop was filled with cans, plates and bowls. About everything we could find in our old kitchen. She tried to organize in a logical way where everything should go. It almost looked like a puzzle.

  Colleen seemed to understand her and together they made me dizzy. I would need a fucking plan just to find a simple fork.

  I continued with the unpacking process until night came, and then crashed on the couch while Nix took a shower. My body ached. My arms felt like I had lifted weights for three hours straight and my legs were too tired to stand anymore. One thing I knew, the new couch was unbelievably comfortable.

  I woke up to sight of the sun with Nix wrapped around me under a blanket. We spent our first night in the house, on the couch. Without saying good night, without kissing good night, and without christening our bedroom... Damn! We had to fix this.

  After spending the weekend fixing curtains, unpacking boxes and getting familiar with everything, I was in bed with a fever while Nix went away for her classes.

  My head hurt and my body in need of serious warmth. I had never felt like this. Dad said it probably was how my body decided to relieve the stress. I, on the other hand, had no freaking idea, but I felt like shit.

  Thankfully, I only had one tattoo scheduled late in the afternoon so I hoped that I would be able to get rid of that shitty feeling before then. I took medications and went back to bed. I tossed and turned and barely got any sleep. A blanket of shivers covered my body.

  Shit! I muttered. For Nix, I tried to stay strong and give her support, but was I really sick? There was still too much to do. The move was finally done... it had exhausted me, but it was over, and the last details of the wedding were to be confirmed mid-week...

  Shit! I’m getting married. I’m fucking getting married! Yes, I wanted this, but it hit me, it really hit me then. A week from now, Nix would be Nix Munroe. I grinned like a lovesick teenager. I imagined her on the beach with the bikini I had given her. The breeze coming from the ocean making her hair dance in a frenzy. Her baby-blue eyes, the color of the water. God, how did I get so lucky?

  I finally crashed while fantasizing about my fiancée. She was mine, after all.

  The ring of my phone went on and on and on.

  Finally, it hit me.

  “Hello.”

  “Levi, you’re appointment is in ten minutes. Get your ass to the shop.”

  Shit! “I’m on my way.” I removed the comforter, felt the cold air in the room.

  I tried to hurry. My stomach groaned, I felt dizzy. Now wasn’t the right time to be sick. I ran to the bathroom and emptied everything I had eaten today, which was close to nothing. What was happening to me? Cold feet? It couldn’t be it. I wanted this with all of my heart.

  I sat on the cold tile floor, trying to catch my breath. My eyes locked on the bra suspended from the door handle. I missed her, way too much. I grabbed hold of her bra and smelled it. She was the real deal, the love of my life and yet, moving in with her, marrying her, had me in knots.

  I brushed my teeth, washed my face with ice cold water. The fever seemed to have dropped down. Kyle could always cover for me, but I had to work for a living and I wouldn’t be working during the honeymoon, so this client couldn’t be rescheduled. The mustang roared to life while I hurried to the shop. The client was waiting for me and I felt like an idiot.

  “You look like hell, Levi.” Kyle said, and I sensed that he might be worried.

  “I wasn’t feeling well.” Still wasn’t feeling good.

  He scratched his scalp, thinking. “Hung over?”

  “No, I had a fever, I slept in. I think it’s exhaustion.” Maybe the stress of getting married, too.

  In a rush, I looked at my station, making sure it wasn’t too messy before I welcomed my client.

  “Hi, Charles. What can I do for you today?” I asked him. I had no idea what I was in for.

  He took a piece of paper from the back pocket of his jeans. “Your name was given to me by some friends.” He unfolded the paper and I was pleased to see that it wasn't a big piece. The size of my palm, I would say.

  “It's not too complicated, I think. I want a red rose with my mother's name, Charlie.”

  Thank god. “That's a piece of cake. I'll sketch something real quick if you don't mind... it’ll take about five minutes. In color, right?” The image he had was taken from the internet and I refused to work with that. I wanted his tattoo to reflect my creation and not
someone else's.

  He nodded and went back to sit on the couch out front. We had a pile a magazines and Nix had brought some candies for everyone to eat. There was enough to keep him busy for a couple of minutes.

  I rubbed my eyes, trying to remove the heavy feeling in them before I started drawing. I need a Red Bull or something that would kick in and give me some energy. My pencil in hand, I started drawing the petals of the rose. One next to the other, keep the synergy of the flower together. Once the color was added, it would look very realistic. One of the reasons why I loved my job, it didn’t matter the size of the tattoo, a small one could end up being the most challenging one. This one would let me play with realism a bit and with the font of the writing. Few minutes into it, I started feeling better. The lines were perfectly curved and it looked great. I wrote his mother's name in a different ways, since I liked giving my clients a choice. My job was to find exactly what they wanted, and the best way I could do that was to show them the possibilities.

  Someone came in the shop, but I was concentrating too much to lift my eyes away from the piece of paper.

  “Hey, babe.” Nix’s voice startled me and caught my attention immediately. My eyes found hers before I could even say hi back. “Oh my God, babe, you are so pale.”

  God, she was so beautiful. Fucking perfection.

  I nodded, looking her over from head to toe. “Yeah, rough day.”

  She cupped my cheek and then my forehead with her hand in a motherly way, checking to see if I had a fever. “Have you eaten something today?”

  “No, but I would love something to drink if you don't mind.”

  Her hand ran through my hair. “Okay, I'll be back.”

  Her lips found mine for a quick kiss before she walked out of the shop. Nix looked at me one last time through the front window. She was worried, I could tell.