by Ayesha Patel
“I know. We discussed that. There’s no getting through to her.”
“All the heartache and stress has caught up to her. She’s been messing up at work.”
“What?”
“And she’s been having panic attacks more and more. Today, everything just exploded into one major panic attack, and she passed out before the engagement ceremony.”
“Is she going to be okay?”
“Physically, yeah. Mentally…”
“What does that mean?”
“Tyler?” Mr. Patel asked as he approached us.
Vicki backed away and left us alone.
I offered his hand and spoke in Gujarati, “I came as soon I heard about Priya.”
“Your accent is better.”
“I’ve been practicing. How is she?”
“Sounds like Vicki filled you in. She…” He cleared his throat. “Tyler, she loves you. More than any of us realized.”
I nodded, tears stung my eyes just as tears filled Mr. Patel’s eyes.
“I lost my wife already, Tyler, I can’t lose my daughter. We thought she was making a mistake by choosing you, that this was some silly crush, that you weren’t good enough for her.”
“You were wrong.”
“I see that.”
“We can’t help it if we love each other. Believe me, we both tried to stay away. Neither one of us can live like this. Please, Mr. Patel, talk some sense into her. She’s doing this for you, for her mother, and it’s killing her.”
He looked away. “In the end, it’s her decision. If she believes she has to keep her word to her mother, we can’t change her mind.”
“I’m begging you,” I pleaded. “I don’t want to lose Priya, either.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose as the dentist eyed me from the waiting room. My fists turned white. I was going to kick his ass.
“Don’t,” Mr. Patel said.
“What?”
“Don’t waste your energy being mad at Manuk. He has nothing to do with these decisions. He’s a nice boy who got caught up in an emotional war. Spend your time on Priya. Go inside.”
I didn’t question him. I rushed into Pree’s room and found her asleep. Monitors beeped around her, haunting in the silence. I brushed the hair from her forehead and ran my hand down her arm, to her hand.
She didn’t move.
I stood there for a long time as a part of me died with every passing second. I thought I could leave her, let her make her mistakes, but I was wrong. I could never leave Pree.
I moved aside and sat in the corner when a nurse came in to check on her. Pree twitched and made slight, mousy sounds. Was she in pain? Was she having bad dreams? I slouched into the chair and chewed on my nail, something I never did. But what else was I supposed to do?
I watched her sleep for a little while before she stirred. The second she opened her eyes, I jumped to my feet and was beside her before she even looked up at me.
I wrapped my hands around her face and leaned in to press my forehead against hers. She didn’t budge or move away, and I wished life was this and only this: me holding Pree.
“Babe, what the hell? You scared me,” I said, my eyes closed.
“What are you doing here?”
Pulling away, I answered, “Vicki told me you passed out and were in the hospital. I drove as fast as I could to get here.”
“You drove all the way here?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Why do you think?”
“Ty, we’re over, remember?”
I gently kissed her dry lips.
“Why? I don’t mean anything to you.”
“You’re so effing stubborn, Pree. You probably shouldn’t mean anything to me, but you do.”
“Where’s everyone?”
“In the waiting room.”
“They just let you walk in here?”
“Like they’re going to keep me out? I have half a mind to go out there and tell them everything.”
She gripped my hands. “Don’t.”
“Babe, you scared the hell out of all of us. You can’t keep doing this, running from me, from us.”
“Ty, don’t.”
“Stop fighting me. You’re getting sicker.”
“I don’t care.”
“Well, I do, so get your head on straight and let’s talk to your dad.”
“And break his heart again?”
“You don’t think this is breaking his heart, that he doesn’t know what caused this?”
She closed her eyes. She knew I spoke the truth.
I kissed each eyelid and stood. “I can’t bear to see you like this. I already spoke to your dad. He’s waiting for me outside.”
“Ty, don’t!”
“Sorry, babe, this has to end.”
“Just don’t. Stop trying to interfere.”
“And what? Wait around and watch you die?”
“No one cares.”
I landed beside her and took hold of her shoulders harder than I intended. I asked, “You don’t think I care if you live or die? Or that it won’t kill your dad? Your friends? All for what? So you can keep your family’s honor?”
I let go of her. “You think this crap makes your dad happy? Even the dentist knows something’s wrong. And what about your mom?”
“Don’t talk about her,” she snapped.
“If she were alive, you’d be killing her by doing this. It’s killing all of us. So get over your pride and your misguided belief that you’re doing your parents a favor, because you’re not. You’re not doing anyone a favor.”
She rolled her eyes and flinched.
After a few minutes, I asked in a gentler tone, “So what happened?”
“I had a panic attack and passed out.”
“You’ve been hurting before this?”
“Yes. Chest pains started the day before.”
“Here?” I rested a warm hand over her heart.
The machine to her left beeped faster in accord with her heightened pulse.
I leaned down, kissed her cheek, and whispered in her ear, “You still love me.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Priya
“The doctor said you wouldn’t tell him what’s been stressing you. He said this is a serious result from stress and depression,” Papa said.
I didn’t respond.
“You have to talk to me.”
“The last time I talked to you, you nearly disowned me,” I said without thinking, and now I regretted the pain those words brought with them.
Papa didn’t say anything after that.
“Is Manuk at the house?”
“Yes,” he replied. “He picked up your medicine.”
Papa parked in the driveway. I unbuckled my seatbelt and started to open the door.
“Wait. Tell me the truth, beti, knowing that I will never hate you.” Papa stared at the dashboard.
“You hated me last time.”
“We were disappointed, hurt. We thought you were making a serious mistake. We could have handled it better, talked about it.”
“You want to talk now?”
He nodded.
“It doesn’t matter now. Mummie made me promise.”
“Even if it kills you? She didn’t want this. We thought your feelings for Tyler were temporary, fleeting. You’ve never had a boyfriend, right?”
“No.”
“And you never gave boys much attention. This was something parents expected to fight with their children about during their teenage and college years. We knew you’d like boys, but never so much and so strongly as you like Tyler. But you love him, and love is worse. It clouds your judgment, makes you do things without thinking, things you wouldn’t normally do. Love passes, sometimes.
“You tried to make it pass. It didn’t work. You made a decision before. You changed your mind. Make a decision now and stick to it. If you really want to marry Manuk, then forget Tyler.”
“I did forget him.”
“Your heart didn’t. And what happens when you see him again? What will happen five years from now when you’re married, maybe have a child, and you run into Tyler? Will all these feelings of love come back? Will it make you do something worse? Turning Manuk away before the engagement is bad, but leaving him after the wedding is much worse.
“I know the answer without you saying it. I saw him at the hospital,” Papa said.
“Did he say anything to you?”
“Of course he did. Tyler’s a courteous man. No matter what’s going on, he’s always approached me to greet me and to give condolences or congratulations for the situation. He bought me coffee and breakfast and we talked.”
A lump formed in my throat.
“He told me what I already knew.”
“How did you react?”
“I respect Tyler.”
I gawked at him.
“He knows everything about you and our relationship. He knows our culture and religion, he’s even read the scriptures.”
“Really?”
“He’s picked up some Gujarati and Hindi. He admitted the Hindi came from Bollywood movies. He knows all the things we’ve been through these past couple of months. He’s maintained distance like you asked, yet he’s always right there when you need him the most.”
“How respectful is he when I asked him not to talk to you and he did, anyway?”
“Because he’s concerned about your health. Just like me, he’s scared that you’ll die if you keeping doing this.”
Tears filled my eyes. I shuddered. “You think I could die because of this?”
“I know you will. I don’t want that. Mummie wouldn’t want it, either. Tyler’s proven himself on many levels. Mummie and I were wrong,” he choked out.
We sat in silence. Manuk walked outside but waited on the steps.
“I can accept any decision because both men are good. Don’t make a decision that you can’t live with, one that will kill you in the end.” Papa climbed out of the car.
I sat there a while longer, dazed. Had Papa really just said that, and did he mean it? Or had he said that to make me happy, therefore healthy, while he wasted away? I couldn’t allow him to go through what I went through, what Mummie had gone through.
Manuk shifted on his feet when I approached. “My parents are going to head home. I know you’re still not well, but do you want to reschedule the engagement now or later?”
“Can we take a walk?”
“Only if you take your medicine first.”
I agreed. While he fetched my pills and water, his parents came out. Worry and a hint of accusation crossed their features.
“Are you feeling okay?” his mother asked.
I shook my head.
“When shall we reschedule the engagement? How does next week sound? The priest agreed to come then.”
I shook my head again.
“Well, when then?”
“Now’s not the time to think about rescheduling.”
“When is the time?”
I controlled my anger. Manuk’s parents pushed it. “You can go home and rest.”
I took the water and medicine from Manuk when he returned. “Thanks.”
“Talk some sense into her,” his mother muttered to Manuk as they gathered their things into the car.
“Let’s go for that walk.” He called back to his parents, “We’ll be back.”
Manuk walked alongside me without a peep as we strolled through a few streets and hit the subdivision park nestled in a wooded area. Kids played in sand, on the monkey bars, and on swings. A few families enjoyed picnics on the grass.
I sat on a bench with Manuk beside me. His gaze bore into my side. “Talk to me, Priya. What’s got you so stressed?”
“I can’t marry you,” I blurted, the easiest way of giving him the news.
“What?” He jerked back. “Why? Things were perfect.”
“They were never perfect.”
“Let’s talk it over. We can fix this, work it out. Be honest with me. What’s not working for you? Is it living in Dallas after the wedding? You’d rather be in Austin closer to your dad? We can do that.”
“No. You’re great. Another girl will be lucky to have you.”
He took my hand in his. “But you’re that girl.”
I pulled back. “You deserve a woman who’ll love you and is grateful for you. I agreed to this because my mom had her heart set on it.”
“It was too soon after her passing to make a decision.”
“I’m in love with someone else.”
This he didn’t jerk back at. He pressed his lips together. “That American who was at the hospital? Tyler?”
“Yes.”
“You’re going to throw away everything for him?”
“I tried to let him go. I tried to do things the way the family wanted. See what happened? I was fine last night. I hadn’t thought about Tyler or seen him, and I woke up with chest pains and ended up in the hospital because my heart was breaking.”
“Love doesn’t last. What does he have to offer you?”
“A lot,” I snapped. “I didn’t say I’m leaving you for him. I just said I’m not marrying you. I need some time without either of you.”
“This is your decision? No changing your mind?”
“No. I’ll return your gifts. You should give them to your future wife.”
“Yeah. Mail them to me,” he muttered, then stood and marched off.
I remained where I was and watched kids play, couples smooch, and families eat. A few toddlers chased a ball. The squealing, flopping, and tripping made me smile and forget things for a few seconds until my phone beeped.
Vicki: Are you okay?
Priya: Yes.
Vicki: We need to leave soon.
Priya: Go ahead and go. See ya at home.
Vicki: Are you sure? Where are you?
Priya: In the park. Need some time alone. No worries. All good.
Vicki: Manuk and his parents left. He’s really mad. Did you finally tell him?
Priya: Yes.
Vicki: OMG! Did you tell Tyler the good news?
Priya: No.
Vicki: Are you going to?
Priya: Eventually. When I’m ready.
Vicki: See you at home?
Priya: Yep.
A few leaves scattered around my feet as I kicked them away. The sun descended. Manuk didn’t come back. No one came by, not even Ty. He didn’t text or call.
I gnawed on my lip as I tapped the side of my phone to text Ty.
Priya: Home safe and sound.
In the end, I decided not to send Ty the text. I needed a break from everything and everyone, and I knew just where to go and who to go with.
I strolled through the wooded areas and went back into the neighborhood. Only Papa’s car and my car remained in the driveway. All the shoes were gone from the front porch. The door was unlocked.
“Beti?” Papa asked from around the corner.
“Hi, Papa.”
“By the look on Manuk’s face, he’d either seen a ghost or you turned him down.”
“Yeah. He wasn’t happy.”
“He wouldn’t be, but he handled it well. He didn’t tell me. And his parents didn’t yell, so maybe he’ll tell them later, huh?”
“Yeah. Papa, when are you going to India?”
“This week.”
“Can I come?”
He creased his brow. “What about residency? Also, the price is expensive getting a ticket this late.”
“I…um…have messed up at work.”
“No, Priya. It’s been this bad?”
“They want me to clear my head before I endanger someone else. They’re right.” I took his hand. “Let’s go to India, Papa. It’s been too long.”
“It will help you, huh?” He ran his hand over my head.
“Yes.”
I spent the following days searching for affordable last-minute tickets to India, ignoring the cost
and the time it took to get to Mumbai from Austin. I lucked out finding seats on the same flights as Papa. Maybe a nice stranger would exchange seats so we could sit together.
I plopped down beside him on the couch as he read the paper. “I found a ticket, Papa. I’m all packed and ready to go.”
“And your director approved the leave?”
“Yes.” I leaned my head against his shoulder. “What are we going to do in India?”
“First, we’ll see Mummie’s family. They’re excited to see you.”
“I’m excited, too.”
“You made a decision, yes?”
“In regards to Manuk?”
He nodded.
“Yes, Papa. Do you accept it?”
For the first time, as far as I could remember, Papa kissed my head. “I know you’re smart. I trust in your decision. As long as you are happy, healthy, and successful, my heart will be full.”
I fought to keep tears back. “Papa! I’ll never hurt you like this again.”
“I don’t believe you could ever hurt me again, beti. Have you spoken to Tyler?”
“No. I need some time to get over everything, especially to cope with Mummie. I still feel like I let her down.”
“As long as you are happy, healthy, and successful, we raised you right and you won’t let us down.”
“Will everyone else think that?”
“Who cares, huh?”
I smiled. Finally, Papa didn’t need to make his twisted family happy and do things to be approved by strangers.
“We have a long day tomorrow,” he said.
“Good night. See you at four in the morning.”
I set the alarm on the clock and on my phone before snuggling a pillow beneath the covers. I ran over some things and contemplated on calling or texting Ty.
I chickened out and texted Vicki instead.
Priya: Guess what?
Vicki: Are you and Tyler together again?
Priya: No, I’m going to India tomorrow with Papa.
Vicki: What! Are you coming back?
Priya: Yes. My idea. Not getting married. Will be back in 2 wks.
Vicki: I’ll miss you.
Priya: I have to do this.
Vicki: Closure?
Priya: In a way, and time alone in a different world.
Vicki: Does Tyler know?
Priya: No.
Chapter Forty-Three
Tyler