The teacher walked to the front of the room and I focused all my attention on her, grateful to have something other than my own thoughts to fixate on. Quite frankly, my thoughts were making me uncomfortable in my own skin.
All of Trent’s judgements and criticisms came back to haunt me. I’d told him over and over again that by being this new version of me I wasn’t denying who I was, I wasn’t trying to be someone different. So what was that back there?
It was Drew Remi’s fault, all of it. I’d never meant to lie. I shouldn’t have had to.
It was official. Drew Remi was ruining everything.
I watched the teacher talk but realized I hadn’t caught anything she’d said for the past five minutes. My mind kept insisting on replaying my parting words and the feeling of shame grew with each passing second. Much as I wanted to be angry at Drew, I couldn’t fool myself.
It wasn’t Drew who’d ruined everything in that moment… that was all me.
Chapter Four
Drew
I threw another pitch and watched as it veered wildly. I don’t know what I’d been thinking. I hadn’t been thinking.
The catcher scrambled to catch my failed pitch. Damn, I was off my game today. I’d been off my game all practice and there was one reason why. Veronica Smith. I couldn’t stop replaying what she’d said, what I’d said, what she’d meant, what I’d thought.
Ugh. I was boring myself.
Except that I wasn’t. For days now Veronica had been front and center in my mind. The topic of Veronica seemed to be endlessly fascinating to some part of my brain. A part of my brain that I couldn’t control. It was also the part of my brain that couldn’t care less about the playoffs, apparently.
It was beyond frustrating. Ever since the whole April disaster last year, I’d sworn off dating. I mean, hookups were one thing but the last thing I needed was another chick messing with my head.
I had enough going on in my life without getting all twisted out of shape over a girl who I’d probably never see again once I went off to college. High school relationships didn’t last. Just ask my parents.
Of course, they’d had two kids and a seventeen-year marriage before they came to that realization but I figure I’d learn from their lesson. Watching their marriage fall apart was all the lesson I’d ever need in why young love didn’t last. My parents may have been in love at some point, but no longer. They might have been friends once, and maybe they’d even had something in common, but these days that was hard to imagine.
And if my parents hadn’t made it clear that high school relationships were doomed to fail, April had driven the point home. We’d been going out for more than a year when I’d left. By the way she’d carried on when I’d said I was leaving for California, you would have thought her world was ending. We’d agreed to try the long distance thing, mainly because I’d hated to see her cry, but also because everything in my life was falling apart and having one consistent relationship had been appealing.
I should have known April couldn’t do long distance. Our relationship had barely survived at Atwater, where we had all the same friends and saw each other every single day. Honestly I’d thought that was part of our problem. We saw each other all the time and her tendency to gossip and stir up drama had driven me crazy. I’d honestly thought that maybe long distance would work for us.
But then, less than two weeks after my move to California, I found out that she’d started seeing my former friend and teammate, Lee. She hadn’t told me, I’d seen pictures on Instagram.
Yup, social media. That’s exactly how a guy wants to find out he’s been dumped.
Part of me wondered if she’d regretted her decision when I ended up moving back before the school year was even over. I could have gone back to Atwater, but my parents gave me a choice. We all knew the Briarwood team was better and they wanted me. Maybe if things hadn’t gone so badly with April and my other friends at Atwater I would have opted for a lifetime of friendships over baseball. But between the better team and a chance to start fresh without the drama and mind games, Briarwood had been too tempting to pass up.
I threw another ball, hitting my target perfectly this time, and some of my anxiety eased up. Maybe I wasn’t so far off my game after all. And maybe my ex and my former friends had done me a favor.
I’d learned my lesson and had cut out girl drama. All of my attention was on my game these days, and that laser focus had helped take our team to playoffs. Life was so much easier now that the family tension had died down and my social life consisted of baseball and hookups. No close friendships and no girlfriends. Life was so much simpler this way.
Besides, I had to focus on baseball if I wanted to get into a good school. My mom was depending on me to get a scholarship to college, and I wanted that too. I wasn’t a bad student but I didn’t have amazing grades, so I needed this.
Not to mention, I wanted to win.
With that thought I focused on the ball in my hand, forcibly blocking out all thoughts of a tall, sexy, mystery girl named Veronica.
Thwack.
Thank God. I let my head fall back in relief. Tomorrow night was our next game and I couldn’t afford to fall into a losing streak now. My team was depending on me and I needed this win.
I don’t like sports.
Her words rang in my head making me furious for some reason I couldn’t quite figure out. Who cared if she was into sports or athletes?
I do.
But I shouldn’t. Obviously we don’t have much in common if she turned her nose up baseball. I live and breathe this sport.
This was a good thing, I decided. If she was one of those girls who was too girlie to break a sweat or couldn’t find anything interesting in a game that required skill and dedication, then I was better off not getting close. It wasn’t like I was looking for a relationship, anyways, and this just helped rule out temptation.
I stared down at the ball in his hand. Why did that mental pep talk do nothing to make me feel better?
Probably because I had an image of her in his head that he couldn’t shake. It was the way she’d smiled at Alex. It was that little smile she’d given me for a half a second when I’d teased her about trying out for track.
That smile had slayed me. I don’t even remember having a moment like that with April and we’d been together for ages. It wasn’t just the smile, it was the connection.
And yeah, it had only lasted for a heartbeat, but in that moment life had come to a stop. Kind of like that moment when her eyes had met mine when she’d fallen into my arms.
There was something familiar about her, like I’d known her in another lifetime. Her smile made me want to hear her laugh—not the polite little giggles I’d heard when she was talking to Alex, but an honest to God laugh.
I wanted to be the one who made her laugh. I wanted it so badly it hurt.
I wanted to hang out with her and talk with her. The closest I’d gotten was eavesdropping on her conversations with Alex. I’d heard enough to know that I loved her voice, kind of husky and sexy as hell. I’d heard her joking with one of our classmates in English Lit the other day and her humor had been teasing but warm. In that moment I’d desperately wanted to be her friend.
That sounds weird, but it’s true. I’d lost a lot of my close friends when I’d left Atwater. No, that’s not true. I lost them when I found out that April had moved on to my friend before I’d even unpacked in California and neither of them had the decency to tell me.
Ever since I’d come back to town I’d managed to avoid them and all our other friends. Word spread that I was back at Briarwood, but I’d made excuses about having to catch up on schoolwork and needing to hang out with my new teammates.
I don’t think anyone bought it. It was probably totally obvious that I was just avoiding running into April and Lee. And I had been avoiding—I’d unfriended them on Facebook, stopped following them on Instagram and SnapChat. I didn’t want to know about the drama going on without me. Thou
gh I had a feeling April and Lee weren’t together any more. How did I know?
She’d been texting. Cute little friendly messages at first that I probably should have ignored, but I hadn’t wanted to get into a fight with her. April was tough to navigate like that. If I was outright rude, she’d take it as a cue to start fighting with me. If I was too nice, she’d think I wanted to get back together. So I’d replied just often enough to avoid being rude, but not too much to give her any ideas.
But lately her texts had been more forward, asking if I wanted to get together, inviting me to parties. No mention of Lee or any other guys. I knew her well enough to know what was going on, but I wanted no part of those games anymore.
But all that being said, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss having friends. I mean, I had my teammates at Briarwood but I didn’t have any good friends, not ones I could talk to about my messed up home life.
But why I thought Veronica would be a good friend? I don’t know, I just did. There was something warm and real about her. And she seemed… nice.
To everyone except me, of course.
I threw the ball so hard the catcher cursed as he caught it.
Maybe that’s why I was so obsessed. The fact that I’d been singled out for this rude treatment—that would be enough to drive anyone crazy. The thought calmed me a bit. Yeah, that had to be it. I’m not crazy egotistical or anything but I’m a normal male and I have an ego. Of course it was going to suck when the new hot chick looked at you like you’re a leper. And sure, it stung that she liked Alex even though her whole excuse for treating me like a creeper was because I’m into sports.
So she didn’t like athletes—which was weird on its own—but she liked Alex? He was about as stereotypical as one could get. He was a total jock who lived for sports. His grades sucked and his conversations almost exclusively revolved around the latest game for whatever season we happened to be in. And football had just started, which was his favorite. Actually, it was messing with our playoff run for the summer league, which was pissing me off.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I liked the guy but he wasn’t exactly deep.
The shallow jock appeared at my side as if I’d called him with my thoughts. “Hey man, you going to the party tomorrow night?”
I didn’t answer right away. For some reason Alex’s mere presence pissed me off.
“You gotta come, man, it’s the first big rager of the school year.”
I threw the pitch and once again it veered off course. God damn Alex and his interruptions. He ignored the bad throw and I shook off my irritation. He’d done nothing to deserve my anger.
“I’m taking Veronica,” he said.
When I faced him his smile was smug. I could beat the crap out of this kid.
Why? He asked out Veronica before I could. Not that she would have said yes, but… Nope. No buts. Even if I’d asked first, she clearly didn’t like me, not even as a potential friend, and she obviously liked Alex. I should just get over it already.
That was so much easier said than done when my body felt it like it’d been struck by a weird infatuation version of the flu. Not just my crush on Veronica, but the jealousy that came up every time Alex mentioned her name, the way I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her, the way she’d gotten under my skin...
“Veronica Smith!” He called her name out and I glanced over in shock. How did he know I was thinking about her?
But then I followed his gaze.
No way. No freakin’ way.
Veronica, Miss “I hate sports” was clad in soccer attire and she was walking with some teammates across the parking lot. She didn’t seem to hear Alex’s shout and for a second I was too stunned to say or do much of anything. I just stared.
“Veronica plays soccer?” I stupidly asked.
Alex shrugged. “I guess so.”
I tried to tear my gaze away from her, but honest to God, it was painful to look away. But then again, it was painful to look at her, too.
She’s hot wearing skinny jeans and a T-shirt in the hallways, she’s freakin’ sexy as hell when she wears skirts and sundresses, but seeing her strutting around in those short shorts that reveal long, toned, tanned legs?
Holy crap, she was breathtaking. Like, literally. I couldn’t breathe. Her long brown hair was pulled up in a ponytail that revealed a slender neck and her profile, which was stunning without makeup. She looked so natural, so genuine.
And she looked hot.
The catcher had walked over to us at some point and I heard him whistle. “Dude, you are so lucky.”
That finally broke the spell because I realized that he wasn’t talking to me. He was talking to Alex.
Alex, the uber jock, who for some unknown reason was taking Veronica to a party.
“You’re taking Veronica,” I said, repeating his earlier words.
His grin made me want to shove my fist into his throat. “Yeah, man. Don’t be jealous just because your favorite outfielder’s got game.”
“Won’t Tina be at the party?” I asked.
Alex’s grin turned knowing. “Of course. Why do you think I’m bringing the hot new girl?”
The hot new girl. He didn’t even use her name. Rage boiled up inside me. Alex was just using Veronica to get to Tina. I might not have been at Briarwood for a while but it hadn’t taken long to figure those two out. On-again-off-again and addicted to their little mind games.
Just like me and April.
I shuddered at the thought. But now wasn’t the time to worry about the past. Veronica might not be nice to me but she seemed like a good person. And she was the new girl. Alex was exploiting both of those traits by turning her into his unwitting accomplice.
I had to tell her. Without really thinking it through, I turned to chase after her.
“Where are you going?” Alex asked.
“I need to talk to Veronica about something,” he said.
Alex laughed behind him. “Dude, give it up. She doesn’t like you.”
I ignored him and his laughter.
He was right. She didn’t like me, and that sucked. But that didn’t mean I shouldn’t help her out. One new kid to another.
That’s what I told myself as I chased her down. This wasn’t a pathetic attempt to squash her date with Alex. Nope. I wasn’t that jealous.
Lie. Lie. Lie.
“Veronica, wait up!”
She came to a stop and I watched her expression register shock and then… horror.
Jeez, what had I ever done to her?
Before I could ask, a car pulled up beside her and she said something to the girl she was talking to before jumping into the Prius like it was her getaway car.
A guy was driving, but I couldn’t make him out. The girl she’d been talking to—the one from the soccer team—looked back at me in confusion.
Okay, so at least I wasn’t the only one who’d seen it. She’d looked terrified at the sight of me. Or maybe just horrified. Neither was terribly good for my ego.
Hell, I just wanted to be her friend. My mind helpfully called up an image of those long lean legs in those itty-bitty shorts. Fine, maybe I’d prefer to be more than friends. But I’d settle for friends.
At this point, I’d settle for an honest answer to the question—what had I done wrong? Why was I the only person in school who got the cold shoulder instead of that sunny smile?
I wasn’t sure how long I stood there, obsessing for the millionth time even though I’d just promised myself I’d let go of this particular line of thought. But then a car honking next to me pulled me out of my funk.
My little sister, Eloise, was behind the wheel of the beater we shared. Our parents hadn’t been able to afford a new car for one kid, let alone two of us, and now that me and El were both of age to drive, we’d decided to go in on one together.
Unfortunately this clunker was all we’d been able to afford between our part-time summer jobs and birthday money.
El gave me a little wave. It st
ill felt weird to see my little sister driving. Maybe everyone else in the world saw her as a mature sixteen-year-old sophomore, but in my mind she would always be a little kid.
The little kid in question waved again, clearly losing patience that I was keeping her waiting. All around me my teammates were piling into cars or getting into their rides.
Crap. I’d wasted an entire practice on the great mystery that was Veronica Smith.
I muttered a curse as I slid into the passenger side. I half expected El to give me a hard time about making her wait but she was squinting at the empty spot ahead of us where Veronica had dove into that car.
“You didn’t tell me Ronnie Smith transferred to Briarwood.”
I stared at her.
Ronnie Smith. Ronnie Smith. Ronnie—the name clicked into place, finding the context in my memories.
I was too stunned to talk. Too shocked to breathe. I stared at the empty space too. No, it couldn’t be.
Ronnie. Veronica. Was Ronnie a nickname for Veronica? How had I never known that?
I shook my head. Really? That was the detail my brain focused on? I tried to summon up a mental image of Ronnie. Ronnie Smith, as in the tomboy who’d been in my class forever. The one who’d played with all the boys when she was younger and then, as she’d gotten older… I struggled to remember what happened to her when she’d gotten older.
My mental image of her was fuzzy, but it didn’t gel with Veronica Smith, the hot new student. It was like trying to mesh together two puzzle pieces that just didn’t fit. The result was a fuzzy mishmash.
“You didn’t recognize her?” El asked. There was laughter in her voice. Like this was funny. As if this was a joke.
I groaned as I dropped my head into my hands. That was Ronnie freakin’ Smith. Veronica Smith was Ronnie. Holy crap, how had I been so blind? No wonder she hated me. How could I have failed to recognize her? We’d known each other forever. She must think I was the worst sort of self-absorbed jerk.
But then again, she didn’t look like Ronnie—not the Ronnie I remembered, at least. She looked so different, so grown up, so…hot.
Out of His League Page 4