Footsteps jerked him from his reflections. The figure coming up the trail wasn’t Keelee, it was the ranch hand… Clive? No, Clint.
“Dr. Cassidy.” The man stopped at the foot of the stairs and draped his arms on the porch railing.
“Clint, isn’t it?” Adam’s training clicked in and he assessed the man. Six foot, one hundred ninety to two hundred pounds of lean muscle. Before the accident, the man wouldn’t have even been a blip on the radar. Now, he was a threat. And wasn’t that a kick in the ass. Adam vowed to start eating better. He had to get back in shape.
“Yeah. I was wondering if I can have a word with you, Doc.” The man took off his cowboy hat and slicked back his sweat-darkened hair.
“Sure. Need medical advice?” Adam tilted his chin, waiting.
“Nope, kinda hoping I could give you some advice, though.” Clint linked his hands together over the rail and took a deep breath. “Look, I don’t know what you think is going on up here in the evenings between you and Keelee, but in all fairness I think I should. You see, Keelee and I were raised together. I’m going to marry her one day.”
“What does Keelee say about that?” Damn cowboy might be able to take him now, but fuck if he’d sit here like a scolded preschooler.
“Huh. You know, I figured you had some smarts, being a doctor and all. But hey, you want to try to cloud the water, you go ahead. I’m just attempting to save you some heartache.” The man straightened and turned to leave.
Adam blew out a long huff of air. Damn, he hated being a good man.
“Hey, Clint?”
The man stiffened and turned. “Yeah?”
“Dude, I’m not competition. Keelee and I talk, that’s all. I’m still fucked up from my accident. I’m not chasing anything but friendship.”
The lanky cowboy nodded and headed toward the barn. Adam watched him until he entered the structure. He had to give the man credit. Clint felt Adam was sniffing around his woman and had the balls to confront him.
Adam’s snort disturbed the silence. In his present condition, it didn’t take balls. A twelve-year-old girl could take him down. He could smell dinner. Usually, he wouldn’t bother. He needed to bother. Hell, he needed to start living again. The time here at the ranch had been one slow slide. Adam leaned on his forearms and stared at the pine boards of the porch floor. A schedule. He needed to build a program, food, exercise, and yeah… talking to his brothers-in-arms. He’d been avoiding Chief and the twins. The fact was he was avoiding everything and everybody. Fuck. He’d been stuck in neutral since he’d gotten here.
“Hey, you.” Keelee’s greeting shocked him out of his self-realization.
“Hey.”
“You doing okay?” She flopped down in the chair next to him and searched his face with those huge blue eyes. Eyes that should be looking towards Clint, not him. “What’s wrong?”
“Actually there isn’t anything wrong. You ever have a moment of clarity when the entire world seems to come into focus?” He leaned back in the chair and made a swipe of the heavens with his hand. “How in the world have I let this—all of this—pass me by?”
Keelee put her rough, work-worn hand on his arm. “I don’t understand, Adam.”
He smiled. The first real smile in, oh God… forever. “Yeah, Kee. I know. But the fact that I do? Well, damn, that’s just about a fucking miracle.”
Keelee blinked… and blinked… and blinked again. “Are you going to share?”
“Yep. You got a good thing here, Kee. You got a ranch you love. Family. Love and the chance at a life with a good cowboy. I’ve got a chance too. A chance to recover and redeem my life. Make something of what is left of me. It’s about time I started working on that. These nights talking? They have been special, but it’s time to shift out of neutral.”
“Neutral?”
“Yep. Starting when your aunt rings that dinner bell, I’m clawing my way back to normal. Damned if I know what my normal feels like now, but I do know I need to focus. On me. On getting better. And you? Hon, you need to concentrate on the ranch, your family, and that cowboy. Clint cares for you.” The slow, deliberate words took forever to form, but the relief that he felt when he finally said them was worth the torture of getting the thoughts out.
Keelee’s breath caught. He heard the distress in it, although he had no idea why she would react that way. “Oh. Well. Hey. Yeah. I’m so glad you found first gear, Adam. I know the guys are waiting to help, they just need you to extend them a chance.”
She stood up and stretched. “Well, dinner should be ready by the time we get to the house. I’ll walk you, but I have some… things I need to tend to at the barn.”
He walked with her to the house and stopped her when she turned away. “Hey. Thank you. For being a friend.”
Keelee smiled and put a warm hand on his cheek. “I’ll always be here for you, Adam. Go. Eat with our family tonight. They’ve missed you.”
“Our family?” He felt his eyebrows rise.
“Sorry. The twins feel like brothers and Chief is… well, Chief is amazing and… just go eat, Adam. Good night.”
She stuck her hands in her pockets and headed down to the barn leaving him at the foot of the steps. Five steps to the porch. Five steps to the start of his life. Again. His boots were soundless as he climbed up. One step at a time.
Chapter Seven
Aruba, one year later:
Adam sipped his scotch while the warm breeze off the Atlantic played with his hair and ruffled the patio umbrella over his head. It had been two years since he’d been rescued from a cave in a third world country more dead than alive. But life and time marched on. A testament to that fact danced to reggae music across the pool. Joseph King pulled his new bride from the laughing crowd of family and friends straight into his arms. The sounds of guitars and cuíca drums filled the air as he spun the woman onto the dance floor set up on the sands of the private beach. It was obvious watching the couple that no one else existed for them.
“I never thought I would see the day.” Jacob’s voice filled with emotion as his brother laughed and dipped his new bride.
“From what I know, they both deserve some happiness.” Adam considered the private mansion behind him, the infinity pool in front of him and the ocean beyond that. “I could be happy here.”
Jacob lifted a finger and motioned toward his brother. “Joseph has enough money to live this way for the rest of his life, but I doubt he will.”
Adam nodded. “Yeah, thanks to Gabriel, money has never been a worry for any of us.”
“Really? Are you telling me I need to adjust my pay scale?” Gabriel’s voice came from behind the two men.
Doc twisted, peering back before he lifted off his chair and shook Gabriel’s hand. The CEO of Guardian Security smiled and pulled him in for a bear hug. Jacob stood too and offered his hand after the man released Adam.
“No, sir. I’m pretty sure nobody here would be happy with me if I suggested that.”
“Damn, it’s good to hear you talking without that hesitation anymore.” Gabriel slapped him on the shoulder and gripped it in a warm hold.
“Thank you, sir. I appreciate you hiring Ember to help me at the clinic so I could work on my health. The speech impediment was stress induced. I’ve got it under control now.”
“What about your memory?” Gabriel nodded, acknowledging Jason, who had walked up to the group.
“A work in progress.” Doc moved allowing Jason into the conversation, and extended a handshake. “How are you doing? I’m sorry I missed you at Talon’s christening. I wasn’t quite ready to take on a crowd.”
Jason dropped his hand and stared at his shoes for a moment before his eyes rose directly to Adam’s. “I was right there with you, man. It’s hard coming back from what you and I went through. I know I’m ultimately the reason for your injuries. If I could change what happened, I would.”
“You didn’t cause my injuries. The fuckers who tortured the shit out of me caused them. I
don’t blame you. Never have. If you’re trying to shoulder it, then you need to drop that burden, man. The fact is we work in a dangerous world. We all know the risks and we go into every mission with our eyes wide open. I’m in a good place.”
Jason stared at Doc as if trying to determine if Doc was being up front with him. Finally, he nodded. “Good enough.”
Gabriel snorted. “Well, damned glad you two had your moment. Now that the past is firmly in the past, what do you have planned? I got Jacob’s and Jared’s lives scheduled for the next twenty-five years, but you two are wild cards. I don’t do wild cards.” Gabriel’s question caused a momentary pause as the two men regarded at each other.
Jason chuckled. “I’m hanging in Mississippi. I have a good law practice now. I’m working contracts for some new talent in Nashville.” Jason drew a deep breath before adding, “And I’m focusing on staying sober.”
Jason lifted his soda can and pointed to Doc. “What about you?”
“I’m sure as hell not fit for the field. I’ll probably head back to the ranch after the holidays. There’s no one in training now. No reason for me to be hanging around up there. Figure I’ll find a beach and get a tan until training starts back up.”
Jacob turned on his heel and gawked at him. “Excuse me? What the fuck do you call Keelee? That girl, son… is a reason.”
A surge of pissed-off pumped through his veins. “I sure as hell don’t call her a reason to go back! We’re friends, people who talk and play cards on Thursday night. She hasn’t once shown she’s interested in more. I mean, for God’s sake, she’s dating Clint. They are damn near inseparable, always riding or working together.”
Jacob threw back his head and laughed, drawing everyone’s attention. “Doc, pull your head out of your ass. She’s only dating Clint because no one else is paying her any attention. You know you’re my best friend, but damn it, man, you’re blind in both fucking eyes, not just the one with a patch over it.”
Joseph, his wife, Ember, and Tori walked up as Jacob ranted.
“That’s true, you know, Adam.” Ember’s soft voice soothed some of the sting from Jacob’s retort. “Keelee and I became very close while I lived at the ranch over the last year. She’s my best friend and I know she cares for you. Clint isn’t who she’s interested in. It’s always been you.”
Tori stuck her two cents in. “My sister has been gone on you since the two of you stayed at the line cabin. I don’t know what happened. She’d never tell me. Only that you didn’t want her.”
“She was sick! For God’s sake, I told her we couldn’t. How the hell was I supposed to…”
Doc staggered and sat down hard on the chair, dropping the glass in his hand. It shattered, but nobody noticed. Nobody moved. He held his hands in front of him. Both shook uncontrollably. Memories collided, violently filling the void that had haunted him. He knew… everything. He remembered it all, the mission, the ranch, the move of the cattle down to lower pastures.
He lifted his eyes and whispered, “Oh fuck. I remember… oh God…”
Chapter Eight
Adam stared out the copilot’s side window of the G6 jet. The bright glare of the morning sun at 35,000 feet forced him to squint. Oh, hell, he could put a pair of sunglasses over his eye patch, but he’d be damned if he was going to add insult to injury. Literally.
“We may have a problem landing, Doc.”
Adam’s head whipped to the left. Jason King, his pilot, and one massive, mean son-of-a- bitch, hit several buttons on the weather system screen.
“The storm is moving in faster than forecasted. Blizzard conditions already in Denver. If I push it, we can make it into Rapid City. That small airport doesn’t have C3C.”
At Adam’s questioning expression, Jason elaborated, “Instrumentation only landing. And I won’t even try landing at the ranch. No one from Guardian has been at the training facility for days. The runway won’t be cleared.”
Adam noticed his leg was bouncing and consciously stopped the annoying movement. “Push it, then. I’ve got to get back to her, Jason. For two years, she’s thought I… Man, I fucked up so bad. I have to make this right.”
Jason glanced towards him and nodded. After a couple minutes, he reached out and put his huge hand on Adam’s thigh for a second, stopping the leg’s repetitious movement.
“Don’t need a hole in the floor of my jet.”
“Sorry man, I do appreciate you flying me back to the ranch.”
“No problem. It was an excuse to leave the wedding and impromptu family reunion. It was just getting around to the ‘inevitable questions’ phase. Now that Jacob and Joseph are married the pressure is on. Let Jared and Justin field the ‘When are you going to settle down?’ questions from Mom.”
Doc gave a distracted nod and once again started bouncing his leg.
Jason took a deep breath and slowly exhaled before he spoke. “Dude, I can’t pretend to understand what you’ve been through. Lord knows I’m not good with this personal crap, but I’m here if you want to talk about it. We have nothing but time.”
Adam rubbed his palms against his face and held his head in his hands. “Keelee and I didn’t see eye to eye on something. I wish I could tell you I was trying to protect her from a life tied to a transient Guardian. No offense.”
“None taken.”
“Of course, my past with women hasn’t exactly prepared me for someone honest. I didn’t believe her when she… oh, man I fucked up. I tried to do what was best for her.”
“Doc, haven’t you learned not to think for women? It’s too fucking dangerous.” Jason shook his head before he continued. “Women don’t think like we do, man. Their wires have no schematics. There is no straight path from ‘a’ to ‘b’ for them. What possessed you?”
“Fuck if I know, man. Fuck if I know. I remember going to the ranch now—the first time, I mean. We were helping out with a cattle drive. Jacob’s wife, Tori… hell, I guess she was his girlfriend then, wasn’t she… anyway, they took the herd down the mountain to meet up with the girl’s dad. I stayed up at the line shack to take care of Keelee. She was sicker than a dog. Pneumonia.”
Doc peered out of the cockpit, and for what seemed like the millionth time since his fractured memories had returned, he worked to piece the events together. He closed his eye and blocked out the bright sunshine and billowing clouds. God, he could see her on the bed in that line shack.
“How long did it take to get her back down to the ranch?”
“Ahh… five days. She slept the first three.”
“So what happened? I mean, if she was out of it, what could you possibly have done to screw things up?”
Jason held up a hand as Doc started to reply. He listened to incoming directions from Atlanta’s regional air traffic controller. “Guardian four-three-eight-four, confirm turning to two niner three and dropping to twenty-seven thousand.” Jason glanced at him and shrugged. “Sorry, go ahead.”
“I don’t know, man. Things were going good. I mean, she was recovering.” Adam shook his head and once again peered out at the clouds as if they would provide solutions to the things he’d done. He told Jason what he’d said to Keelee.
“Oh, hell no! You did not do that to her?” Jason’s stare held the same disbelief he had seen in Keelee’s eyes that morning.
“Fuck man, I told you I screwed up! I mean, I explained it to her—we fool around, she’d get pregnant. It didn’t faze her. So what was I supposed to think? You know what happened with Bianca.”
But Keelee wasn’t anything like his psychotic ex. There was no denying Guardian’s people were well paid and had a definite status in D.C. In recent years, the number of women seeking to cash in on the type of men Guardian cultivated had escalated. Doc had learned that lesson the hard way. He had been burned severely by that vicious, gold-digging bitch. Once burned, twice shy. In his case, it was once burned, suspicious forever. Damn.
“Yeah, but Bianca was an evil fucking pariah. You said yourself t
hat Keelee’s an innocent. Not like that world-class bitch. Besides man, ever hear of oral, or maybe a handjob?”
Doc dropped his head back against the seat repeatedly. “Yeah. Once I pulled my head out of my ass, I tried to talk to Keelee, to explain why I reacted like I did. She shut me out. She refused to acknowledge I even existed after that. Fuck man, she avoided me like the plague and I can’t blame her.”
“Ah dude, you fucked up. Bad, epic… biblical proportions even.”
Adam winced at the truth. “Don’t I know it. The kicker? I compounded the problem by avoiding her after I came back to the ranch. Joseph, told me when I was out of my head in that cave in Afghanistan… well, I guess I told him that I loved her. Fuck, even after he told me what I said, I didn’t remember it. I’d seen her on the ranch a time or two, but I had no idea I knew her from before. I mean, hell yeah. I was clinically depressed, not dead. I noticed her. Anyway, I talked with her. She seemed nice and damned if she wasn’t hotter than all the fires of hell. But I ended up telling her I wanted to be her friend. I’ve treated her like a little sister since then.”
“So which is it, dude? Are you going back to say you’re sorry to your friend or are you going back to claim your woman?” The largest of the King Brothers glanced at Adam and rolled his hand, gesturing for him to continue.
Adam drew a huge breath and released it slowly. “Even when I tried to treat her as a friend I felt like I wanted more with her. I just figured she wouldn’t want to be saddled with half a man.”
“Oh, what-the-fuck-ever, dude. Whine much? FYI? You sound like a girl. Just how far up your ass did you say your head was buried?”
Adam actually laughed. “Too damn far—for too damn long. I’m going to apologize to my friend and hopefully make love to my woman. I just pray I’m not too late. She’s got that fucking cowboy sniffing after her.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, and to top that off with a shot of ‘Oh, why-the-hell-not?’ I’ve been encouraging her towards a relationship with him.”
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