by Julie Kenner
She longed to throw off her clothes, but the moment was coming too fast. It was like life had sped up the minute she’d started to climb those stairs. Anger had fueled her and she’d wanted nothing more in that moment but to piss him off. He pushed her buttons, too. Sometimes she thought they were gasoline and fire. They could fight until they were blue in the face but neither one would leave.
But this, this was what it had all led up to.
“God, Laurel, you’re so tight.” He gripped her hips and pushed in.
She could barely breathe. “I’m perfectly normal. You’re too big. God, don’t stop, Mitch.”
One of his hands found her hair, tangling in it and pulling her head back. There was the tiniest bite to his hold that had her scalp lighting up with sensation. “Even here you argue with me.”
For a second she felt like he was disappointed, but the moment passed as he forced his cock in another inch. He kissed her again and she held on for dear life as he thrust in using small movements. In and out. Gaining ground with each pass. He was so big. She was stretched and super wet, but he still was almost too much for her.
“I’m not going to last. You’re too tight. Too long.” His breath sawed from his chest. “Gotta make it good for you.”
She bit her lip as he held himself still. His hand made its way between their bodies and then she was the one who was whimpering. His finger slid against her clitoris. He rubbed the pearly button while their mouths played together. His tongue slid inside as though trying to make up for the fact that his cock was still. Over and over he rubbed and played and the pressure built inside Laurel until she came, her body bowing, nails digging into his arms as she rode out the pleasure.
He moved his hand to her thigh and drove his cock deep. It was like she’d let him off the leash and he pounded inside her. She looked up and his eyes were closed, his head thrown back as he shoved in one last time and she felt heat streaming from him to her.
She looked up, ready for another kiss, another caress from him. They had all night. It might take forever to get enough of this man.
Mitch stared down at her. Just for a moment, his eyes were soft, as though he was utterly satisfied. That look was quickly replaced with tension and dawning regret as he took a step back, pulling up his slacks. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
“Mitchell?” She’d felt so sexy a moment before, utterly lost in the moment. But apparently the moment had passed and the Dom had left the building because it was Mitch’s frown on that handsome face.
She sat up, her undies shifting back though they were soaked beyond repair at this point.
Soaked because Mitch hadn’t used a condom.
Oh, god. They hadn’t used a condom.
“Laurel, this was a mistake.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair and turned away from her as if he couldn’t stand to look at her another moment. “God, what did I do?”
She got up on shaky legs. “You simply did what was inevitable, Mitch. We’ve been moving toward this for six months.”
His hands were fists at his sides. “I’ve been fighting to avoid this for six months, Laurel. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want any of this. God, am I ever going to grow the fuck up?”
Tears pricked her eyes and she tried to smooth out her skirt. It was a mess. She was a mess. She could still feel him inside her. Her mind was complete chaos, but her heart was a nasty, aching mess. How could he not have felt what she felt?
“I’m going home.”
He finally turned to her, but he wouldn’t look her in the eyes. “Yes, I think that’s a good idea. We can forget this ever happened. We can go back to the way it was.”
Go back to the way it was? Hardly. But she’d learned where arguing with him got her. It got her screwed. What he didn’t realize was that she argued and fought with him because she cared about him, wanted the best for him.
Now she wanted to curl into a ball and cry because she’d been wrong. She’d thought if she could get him to make love to her, everything would fall into place.
Stupid. She’d been so stupid.
And she might pay the price. She tried to remember when her last period was.
“Laurel?”
She couldn’t look at him. They hadn’t even taken off their clothes. She’d thought at the time it was because they’d been too much in the moment, but now she knew he’d never had plans to slow down. She’d been a quick lay for him, a way to burn off the tension of the day.
He’d warned her. He’d told her he wasn’t good enough for her. She could see now all the times he’d practically begged her to leave well enough alone. He’d told her he was too old for her, too damaged, and she hadn’t listened. Even tonight he’d given her shot after shot of leaving well enough alone, but she had to poke the beast.
She’d learned her lesson.
“I’m fine, Mitch. I just want to get home and take a shower.” Her voice sounded hollow even to her own ears. Devoid of emotion, which was a complete joke because she was weeping inside.
Please hold it together. Don’t let him see you cry. Don’t. Don’t make a bigger fool of yourself than you already have.
“Laurel, I didn’t use anything.”
She was not having this conversation with him. “It’s fine. It’s not a problem.”
For the first time she heard some relief in his voice. “Good. That’s good. The last thing we need…”
She was out the door before he could finish that sentence. Yes, she’d been an idiot. There wasn’t some soft Mitchell Bradford waiting under the surface. All of that had been spent on his two ex-wives, and all that was left for Laurel was a man who meant it when he said he didn’t want another commitment, didn’t want to even try to love her.
Or maybe he simply couldn’t. He sure as hell had never lied to her about wanting marriage and kids. He’d been plain about that. He’d never lied.
She’d lied to herself.
She grabbed her purse and her computer bag. “I’m going to take tomorrow off.”
He was standing in his doorway, his shirt untucked and his eyes grave. “All right.”
“I’ll call and cancel the glass on my way home.”
“Why? I thought it would stop the natural light or something.”
She shook her head. “It’s your office. You’re the boss. I’ll cancel it and you do what you like.”
“Laurel, why don’t we have a drink? I’ve got some Scotch. We fucked up. We should talk about it. Please, I’ll let you handle the glass and stuff. You’re better at that than I am. Come and sit with me and we’ll talk about it.”
He sounded so lost, like a little boy who didn’t know what he wanted but he knew he didn’t want to be alone.
She forced herself to turn away. “No. I need to go.”
He followed her out the door and down the stairs. She didn’t argue. He’d always walked her to her car. He wasn’t going to change. Mitchell Bradford didn’t change and it would do her well to remember that one rule of the universe.
She waited for him to shut off the alarm and then stepped out and into the parking lot. Her Honda was sitting next to his massive SUV. Even his car could rip hers apart.
“Laurel?”
She unlocked her car and turned to see him standing in front of the building. “What do you want, Mitchell?”
It was the question she should have asked before. She’d gone into her whole relationship with him asking what she wanted and having one answer—him. She’d never asked him what he wanted for the simple fact that she knew. He didn’t want her.
He stared at her. “I’m so sorry, Laurel.”
She nodded and got into her car. When she looked in the rearview mirror, he was still standing there.
She drove off, determined to never make the same mistake again.
Chapter Three
Two weeks later Mitch stared at her through the big bay windows of The Legal Defense Aid office. Laurel was talking to some kid, probably right out of law school. He wa
s tall and lanky, with a handsome face and stylish clothes. He probably didn’t wear the same white shirt and black slacks day in and day out. Laurel smiled at him, her face vibrant. And then she turned to her sisters, obviously introducing them to the man. Lisa smiled and gave Laurel a wink that let Mitch know she liked the new guy.
Laurel was good. She was happy.
“Mitch? Are you going to go in?”
He took a deep breath before turning and facing the one person he didn’t want to face. He’d been ducking Will Daley’s calls for ten days, ever since he’d gotten back from Chicago. The demise of his relationship with Laurel was almost certainly the end of his friendship with Will, and damn but he would miss the guy. He turned and shook his head. “No. I was just checking in. I won’t bother her.”
He’d tried to bother her. He’d called and sent her e-mails, and all he’d gotten back was one terse reply.
Thank you for you concern, Mr. Bradford. I’m quite well, but under the circumstances, I think it would be best for both of us if I quit. I’m attaching the resumes of two paralegals who would do quite well in my place. Please know I don’t blame you. You were never anything less than honest with me. I was only fooling myself. I beg your forgiveness for quitting in such a cowardly way, but find I can’t meet with you again. Also, you don’t have to worry about meeting up with me again in a social fashion. I’ve let Mr. Taggart know I’m no longer interested in his club.
Yours,
LD
An e-mail. He’d gotten an e-mail from her. He had to guess that was better than the divorce papers he’d gotten from his last two women.
“I’m having lunch with my sisters, but I can call and tell them I’m running later than usual if you need to talk. I could buy you a drink.” Will gestured to the bar across the street. It looked like exactly the type of seedy place that fit in this part of town. Legal Defense Aid wasn’t exactly a money-making venture, so their building wasn’t in an upscale neighborhood.
He didn’t like to think about Laurel here at night, but he doubted she would care that he was worried. And Will didn’t have to worry either. “No need, buddy. I should get back to the office. She looks like she’s settling in nicely. Like I said, I won’t bother her again.”
He turned to go, but Will stuck to his side like glue. “Yes, you said that. Tell me something. Did she finally push you too far and you fired her? What did she do? Go behind your back and change your lunch order? Because she’s so good at that.”
He’d had two weeks of getting to eat whatever he wanted. Two weeks of no one bugging him about his cholesterol or working too long.
It kind of sucked.
“She quit. She decided I was too surly to deal with.” He was surprised she hadn’t told her brother, but now that he thought about it, maybe he shouldn’t be. She wouldn’t want him to know any more than Mitch did. He wasn’t about to tell his best friend that Laurel had taken exception to his lack of romantic tendencies.
He definitely wasn’t going to tell anyone that he’d shown up on Monday morning and placed a dozen red roses and a box of her favorite Danishes on her desk.
And then waited. And waited. And at ten o’clock, he finally found her letter of resignation in his inbox.
No. He’d go to the grave with that information.
“Did something happen between the two of you?” Will asked. His voice was deceptively soft.
Mitch knew him well enough though. “I told you I didn’t think a relationship between Laurel and I would work. I think she finally understood that I was serious and she chose to cut her losses.”
And he would go to his grave remembering the feel of her wrapped around him. He would remember that for a moment he’d been bigger than himself, larger than he’d been before he’d taken her. For that one moment he’d been a part of her, and it had been the single most intimate episode of his life.
It had terrified him.
Will put a hand on his back as they made it to Mitch’s SUV. “I told you she could be tenacious but once she’s done, she’s done. So you shouldn’t have to worry about her any more.”
“I like your sister, Will. I’m going to miss her.” He already did. He felt alone without her. He was a man who craved solitude, but over the months Laurel had taught him he wanted a partner in his self-imposed bubble. He wanted her.
He simply shouldn’t.
“Laurel is amazing, but she’s so young. She’s just starting out. I think you made the right choice. Mitch, you’ve done so much for her. She never would have gone back to school if it hadn’t been for you. She’s found a real passion and it shows. I don’t think she ever would have found out how much she loves legal work without you.”
“She would be a good lawyer. Encourage her to give law school a try.” He had his keys in hand, ready to make a swift getaway, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. “Are they paying her at the new place?”
Will chuckled. “Not much, but she’s one of the few paid positions. She’s doing a ton of the up-front work so the lawyers who are working pro bono don’t have to.”
A good paralegal like Laurel could do a lot of legal work all on her own. “That’s good. If she ever wants to move back into a more lucrative position I can ask around, maybe find her a job.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. So where have you been hiding? You going to Sanctum tonight? It’s the last weekend before the big reveal. I don’t know if you’ve been working on it lately, but Big Tag has got some crazy shit in the new Sanctum. Did you know he put in a human hamster wheel? I’m a little afraid that’s not for subs. I heard him saying something about shoving Adam Miles in it when he pisses Big Tag off.”
He was certain the new Sanctum was going to be a mind trip. “I’m actually taking some time off. I’m buried in work over this solar deal.”
He was working on the sale of the company Harvey Dixon had taken such exception to. It was one good thing that had come from Laurel quitting. He no longer had to worry about her getting in his line of fire.
Dixon was still in rehab, but weird things had started happening. His tires had been slashed three nights before. He’d called Derek, but there wasn’t much he could do. He’d checked in on Dixon and then explained that three other vehicles had been vandalized in the area that very night. Kids?
He was paranoid, but that didn’t mean someone wasn’t out to get him. At least he no longer had to worry about Laurel.
Except he did. Every single night.
“Is there something I’m not getting here, Mitch?” Will was staring at him suspiciously.
Mitch shook his head and put his best game face on. “Nope. This is a very complex contract and I stand to make an enormous amount of money off it. Once this deal goes through, I might think about retiring, maybe go down to the coast and do some fishing.”
Will’s eyes had gone wide. “You don’t fish.”
He shrugged. “Just because I haven’t before doesn’t mean I won’t in the future. This deal should set me up for a good long while as long as I’m not stupid enough to get married again. Hence the fishing.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Will said with a smile. “I hope you’ll change your mind. I haven’t seen you in weeks. Kai says he hasn’t either. At least come to poker night if you don’t want to play. Though I have heard there are a couple of new sub trainees.”
And that was something he took exception to. “Including your sisters.”
Will had the good grace to blush. His face screwed up as he winced. “That was so not my idea. Laurel and Lisa got interested because of Bridget. They have very romantic notions about D/s. I almost had a heart attack when I found out they’d tried another club. Despite the fact that it’s weird to see my sisters there, I’m happier having them at Sanctum. Thank god, Lila has a boyfriend and neither of them seem to have any interest in kink at all. Although now it seems Laurel has lost interest, too. She turned down her further training but asked if she could keep working there. I guess she likes babies
more than Doms.”
But she wouldn’t always. He intended to leave Dallas in a few months after this deal was done and then everything would be open to her. Her one night with him would be nothing but a much-regretted mistake that would fade away once she found her soul mate. “I think she’ll want to try eventually, but don’t let Taggart put her with someone cold like Smith. Talk to Kai. Get involved. She needs a softer hand. Try someone her age.”
Will was back to looking suspicious. “For someone who’s not interested in my sister, you seem to have thought this through.”
He shrugged. There wasn’t much else to do. “She was my employee for…well, for longer than most. I’ve got to get going. I’ve got a couple of interviews this afternoon.”
“You having a hard time replacing her?” Will asked.
“I’ll never replace her.” That was a stupid thing to say. “You know. I’ll never find anyone as willing to argue with me. See you around.”
He didn’t like the way Will stared at him as he drove away. As though he was a puzzle. Will liked to solve puzzles.
It didn’t matter. He had things to do and plans to make. Plans that didn’t involve her.
* * * *
“Will’s late. It’s the doctor thing,” Lila said with a frown on her pretty face. “They think they’re all gods and we mere mortals should wait at their leisure.”
Laurel thought Lila had been a nurse for way too long. “Or he’s stuck in traffic.”
Laurel kind of wished her brother would get here. She thought she’d seen his car pull up a few minutes before, but he hadn’t walked in yet. She’d skipped breakfast and now she was shaky. She was totally ready for her neurologist brother and trauma nurse sister to pay for lunch. Especially since she’d taken a pay cut in order to salvage her pride.
“Where are we going?” Lisa asked as she stepped up, settling her purse on her shoulder. Her little sister was a senior in college, and she’d done it the hard way. She’d been working part time and going to school full time for most of her adult life, and it was all going to pay off in a few months. Baby sis was graduating with an MBA, and she was already in talks with Bridget’s sister, Amy, about going to work for Slaten Industries.