by Sadie Moss
He shrugs. “Maybe on the small scale, yes. Taking you back to my room where anyone could find out right after the fight you just had. But on the large scale? No.” He tucks some of my hair behind my ear. “Not at all.”
I can read between the lines here pretty damn easily. Our relationship, this thing between us, is real enough to him that he doesn’t care if everyone knows about it, if everyone’s talking about it, if he gets fired.
Our relationship is real. What we have is real. It’s not going anywhere.
Not even with all the insanity that faces us.
I feel warm all over, safe all over, and I wrap my arms around Roman and hold on tight, and I let him hold me close in a way I never have before. We don’t say anything—but then, we don’t need to. I’ve kept him at arm’s length this whole time. I’m the one who’s been pulling away, and he’s the one who’s been trying to get closer.
Now I let him. I let him hold me, and I hold on too, as tightly as I can, and I pretend that we’ll never have to let go.
Honestly, I always thought it would be like falling off a cliff, but instead, it’s like turning on a light in a dark room, illuminating what’s always been there.
Roman’s in my heart, and it looks like he’ll be staying there.
Chapter 16
You know, I didn’t really have a lot of friends before this whole “magic stealing” thing. My only good friend besides the guys was Raul, and we all saw how that damn debacle went.
But it was different when I was just choosing not to talk to people and we were all still existing peacefully together. People would nod or smile at me in the hallway, and there was no problem if I had to team up with someone in class for a project or sparring.
Now, it’s like there’s a goddamn scarlet A on my chest.
Or maybe a T, for “thief”.
Everyone is shunning me. People avoid meeting my eyes, or their gazes slide right over me like I’m not even there. The former are the people who’re now scared of me, terrified I’ll rip out their magic. The latter types are people like Alyssa who clearly want me to know they’re pissed at me and blame me for all of this but also don’t want to do me the courtesy of acknowledging my existence.
The guys are rallying around me, and I’m absurdly grateful. I’ve always been kind of a loner—but there’s a huge difference, I’m realizing, in being alone because you decide to be and being actively shoved out by everyone else.
Even Dmitri’s sticking by me, to my shock. We’re still not talking, and that still sucks, but he walks me to and from each of my classes and glares at people, which is definitely something.
He might not have romantic feelings for me, and I might have misread that whole thing, but Dmitri’s a decent person. I like to think he knows I wouldn’t do something as awful as steal someone’s magic, and I know he’s a good guy who’ll stick up for someone who’s being unfairly accused.
But the question that keeps floating around in the back of my mind is… am I being unfairly accused?
As much as I want to… I can’t entirely dismiss the idea that I might be the cause of all this. How, I don’t know. I wasn’t even there for most of the attacks, just the two in Tamlin’s class. But I’m the only lead anyone’s got, and it wouldn’t be the first time something weird happened around me. Do I have a flashing neon sign above my head saying Chaos and Calamity Welcomed Here or something?
The next two days are awful, what with everyone either flinching away from me or glaring daggers at me in the halls. The professors are all on edge too, and even though classes usually ramp up in the second half of the semester, everybody seems to be having trouble focusing.
Even though a bunch of people saw Roman escort me from Wellwood Hall with his arm around me, we’re still playing things cool in public. There’s a good chance a lot of people know or suspect something is going on between us, but that doesn’t mean we have to broadcast it and eliminate any doubt in their minds.
God, I hope he’s not in trouble.
Roman might have no problem with burning bridges for my sake, but I care about him, and I don’t want him to lose a job he’s worked very hard to get and is damn good at.
We’ve just finished Tamlin’s class a few days after the incident, and the four of us are headed down the hallway—Cam, Asher, and Dmitri acting like bodyguards around me—when Hardwick’s administrative assistant, Cheryl, walks up.
“Miss Sinclair?” She gives me a smile I hope to God is sympathetic. “The dean would like to see you in his office, please.”
Oof. Why am I not surprised?
“Alone?” Cam demands, stepping forward protectively.
“It’s okay,” I blurt, before any of the guys can get into an altercation with her and land themselves in hot water.
Asher helps me, grabbing Cam and Dmitri by the elbows and tugging them back.
“We’ll get to class,” he says quietly. “Find us after?”
He might be playing the peacekeeper, but the look he shoots me tells me he’s just as worried as the other two. Squaring my shoulders, I nod at him. I’m not going to let them know I’m scared, or they’ll never leave me. And I have to go to this meeting.
Might as well get it over with, right?
I follow Cheryl out of Wellwood Hall to the west side of campus where the administration buildings are.
To be honest, I’m bracing myself to possibly see Aurora sitting in Hardwick’s office. She’s the administrator from the Circuit who came to our house after Maddy got her powers to offer her a spot at Neptune Academy, the school for water elementalists. She came to talk to me in the hospital after my sonic boom sparked too—she was the one who told me about Griffin Academy.
She’s also, I’m guessing, the person they’d send if it was time for me to have my magic stripped.
I take a deep breath and follow Cheryl into Dean Hardwick’s office. There are a few people standing around, but none of them are wearing Aurora’s familiar power suits or have her pale blonde hair.
She’s not here.
My legs nearly buckle in relief.
When it first manifested, I really wasn’t sure I wanted to keep my magic, but I love it now, problematic as it is for me. I don’t want to lose it.
Although I might have to, if it turns out I’m the one responsible for people losing their powers.
The room’s occupants all turn to look at me when I enter, and I recognize them—it’s Tamlin, Professor Binns, and a third-year professor named Emmitt Macombe.
Hardwick stands as well, nodding at me from behind his desk. “Ah, Elliot, thank you for joining us.” He’s clearly going for a slightly lighthearted air, probably to soothe me.
“Did I have a choice?” I point out.
I can’t help but notice that Roman isn’t here. I’m not sure if I should read anything into his absence, but it makes me anxious for some reason. He was at the faculty meeting during my first year after my wall walking ability manifested, so I wonder if he was deliberately left out this time.
Man, I hope not.
Hardwick sighs, looking troubled. “I’m sure you know why we called you here today. We’ve been hearing concerning reports from several students that you’re the one who’s been stealing other people’s magic.”
“I’m not!” I blurt out before he can say anything else. I realize my hands have balled into fists, and I try to relax them. “I would never do that to anyone. I wouldn’t hurt anybody like that.”
Now I know why these specific professors are here. Macombe teaches Advanced History of Magic, while Binns teaches Theory of Magic. Whatever new power they think I might have, it’s probably rare or unheard of, and Hardwick must’ve wanted their expertise.
As for Tamlin… Well, she teaches Combat, overseeing my sparring class. If anyone could take me down if I went crazy, even without magic, it would be her.
My stomach tightens with nerves as I gaze around the room.
The moment I told Cam, Dmitri, and Asher what’d happened that day i
With these four, though, I don’t see that.
And it makes my palms feel a little clammy and my heart beat harder in my chest.
Hardwick nods at Cheryl, and she leaves, closing the door behind her. I sit down, since what the hell else am I gonna do, and Hardwick clears his throat.
“Elliot, you’ve shown remarkable growth since you arrived at our academy,” he says. “You represented us well in the Trials and overcame quite a lot in the process. More than you should’ve had to, as we now know. We were all relieved to hear that you recovered from your ordeal over the summer. And before that, you saved countless lives when you stopped that unfortunate student from stealing the Brimstone Orb.”
Nobody knows who compelled Raul to try and steal that artifact, or what exactly they planned to do with it once they got it. Whoever it was, they manipulated his frustration and feelings of anger toward the magical establishment to radicalize him against his own kind. Then they put some kind of binding spell on him so he couldn’t spill the beans.
I feel bad for the kid, honestly. Even though my relationship with magic has improved a lot, I can understand his anger. There but for the grace of Maddy, I might’ve gone.
“All that is to say, we trust you, Elliot. I don’t think you’re the kind of person who would do something like this intentionally,” Hardwick continues. He folds his hands together, interlocking his fingers, and rests them on the desk. “I hear nothing but good things about you in your classes. That you’re focused, fair-minded, and driven. That you work hard and keep to yourself.”
Yeah, all true. Notice I’m not winning the most popular student of the year award.
“But there is still the possibility that you’ve been doing this without realizing it. Forgive the cliché, but it’s like the werewolf who transforms on the full moon without knowing it, goes out and wreaks havoc, and then wakes up in bed human again and none the wiser.”
Hardwick has a thing for speeches and metaphors, in case you couldn’t tell.
“It’s why we call Unpredictable magic… unpredictable.” He shrugs. “I don’t think you want to hurt anyone, but it’s the only lead we have, and we have to take precautions. We’d like you to please submit to some testing to see whether you are in fact the cause.”
Do I want to be tested? Have my magic poked and prodded? Hell, no. But it’s better than them just hauling me off and yanking my magic out of me. And it’ll be good to get official confirmation that no, I’m not doing this. Some students might still gossip, sure. I bet Alyssa will be one of them. But it’ll stop most of the nasty rumors from spreading, stop people from looking at me like I’m either a murderer or the dirt under their shoe.
“Okay,” I say, and I’m impressed that my voice doesn’t shake. “How does that work?”
“Josephine?” Hardwick asks, looking over my shoulder. “How will it work?”
I swivel my head around, my heart dropping into my stomach.
Wait. Tamlin’s going to be the one testing me?
Oh, fucking hell.
Chapter 17
I meet up with Tamlin a few days later in her office. She wanted a few days to prepare, I guess—to set up the equipment and all that.
Truthfully, I can’t help but wonder whether she also needed a few days to get over what she knows about me and Roman.
Tamlin is one of the people I didn’t set out to like on this campus, but who I ended up liking anyway. We’re not friends, mainly because we’re professor and student, and partially because I’m not all that good at making friends. Big surprise, I know, considering the whole school currently hates me and thinks I’m some magic stealing psychopath.
I don’t like to think I’ve hurt her, even if I didn’t mean to. And I really don’t like the idea that she might dislike me now.
Tamlin looks impeccable as always—I really don’t know how she does it. Her hair is done up, her makeup is light but perfectly applied, and she’s wearing a powder-pink top.
“Elliot, thank you for coming. Right this way.” She holds the door open for me, and I enter her office.
It’s neat and organized, just as beautiful and stylish as Tamlin herself. I assume I’m just going to sit at the desk, but instead, she walks around and opens a back door. I thought it led into a closet or storage space or something, but it actually leads to a small back room.
“Follow me.” She walks through.
I do, sweeping my gaze around the space as I enter. It actually does look like it might be a small storage room, but whatever is normally stored in here has been emptied out. Now there are just some runes on the walls and a table in the middle, with cushions and paper laid down on it like in a doctor’s office.
Tamlin offers me her hand. “Climb up.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Do I have to strip and put on a paper gown?”
Usually, I can amuse Tamlin in class. She never laughs at my dumb jokes or anything, but I often see her mouth give a small twitch as she struggles to hide a smile.
Not today. Her face is still serious. “No.”
Oh God. Awkward.
Trying to tame the unsettled feeling in my stomach, I hop up on the table and lie down with my head on the small pillow at one end. Once I’m settled, Tamlin picks up what looks like a wand or some kind of futuristic video game controller. She mutters something, and the wand-device-thing starts to float into the air, glowing with a soft blue light.
She directs the wand to start scanning me, and it starts at my feet, hovering about two feet over my body. All around us, the runes on the walls start to glow the same color as the wand.
“This is going to take a while,” she says. Her voice sounds strained, and I can’t tell if it’s because it’s taking a lot of effort to use the enchanted equipment, or if it’s because of the sheer level of awkward in the room.
I lie here, and Tamlin wheels in her chair from behind her desk in the office, and for a few minutes, we just sit silently together.
A while, she said. How long is that, exactly?
All I know is, it feels like an eternity when the person I’m stuck in a tiny room with is my boyfriend’s ex… who still has feelings for him… and is also my teacher. Oh, and my boyfriend is my teacher too, and I’ve been accused of basically ripping people’s magic from their souls.
So, you know, just normal mid-twenties stuff, right?
Staring up at the ceiling, I get lost in my thoughts as the wand works its way slowly over my body. I don’t know how to make things right with Tamlin, exactly. I can’t take away her feelings for Roman, after all, and he’s not interested in her anymore—so it’s not like I can say, “okay, here, have him back,” and even if I could, Roman’s not a toy. He’s a person, and it’s his choice who he wants to be with.
But I also… I don’t want her to think I don’t care about her or respect her. I might be somewhat dating three men right now—and fuck whatever Dmitri is, my reluctant acquaintance? Who even knows at this point?—but I’ve never done that before, and I’m not a cheater. I don’t collect guys like Pokémon. I’m not just after as many men as I can get, and I would never help someone to betray someone else.
So I take a deep breath, knowing this is probably a mistake but forging ahead anyway, and clear my throat. “Um, Professor?”
Tamlin blinks, her eyes going a bit wide. I think I startled her—she must have been more deep in thought than I’d realized. Crap, am I the only one who thought this was awkward?
“You never call me Professor,” she says, her posture relaxing again. “Not unless you’re sassing me.”
Ah, guilty as charged. “Maybe I wanted to be a little more respectful to the person conducting a weird magic examination on me?”
She doesn’t smile, but she doesn’t look upset, either. Might as well get this over with, I decide.
“Look, um, I wanted to let you know—nothing happened between Roman and me until after you two had broken up. I mean, I didn’t even know he was my professor at first. He wasn’t, actually; I hadn’t even gotten my magic yet when we hooked up. It was at a bar, and then… then I ended up here. But you two had already—I would never—”
“I know,” Tamlin says. She winces, but her tone is tentatively reassuring. “Roman isn’t the type to cheat; he just wouldn’t do something like that, it goes against everything he is. And I’m fine with it. I’m not sure how… others might feel, but you’re both good and responsible people. I don’t judge either of you.”
She might not be judging us, and she might trust us, sure, but I have a feeling it’s not quite true that she’s “fine” with this. I’ve seen too many glimpses of Tamlin looking at Roman to believe her. She might understand in her head that things are over between them, but it doesn’t change the fact that her heart still has feelings for him.
And I can’t help but feel kind of like crap for that. Even though I know it’s not my fault and it’s out of my control.
“I would just like…” Tamlin leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “This isn’t a speech about how Roman is full of darkness and is complicated and you can’t handle him, or anything like that. He’s a perfectly good man, a wonderful man, and I think you two are good for each other. But there is…”
She pauses for a second, tapping her joined hands to her lips. When she looks back up at me, I feel like I’m seeing more of the “real Tamlin” than she normally shows in class. The one I might get to know if we ever went out for a drink or something. The one who’s not that much older than me, and who—despite her put-together facade—doesn’t have her whole entire life figured out.
“There’s what?” I prompt, because she’s got me dying of curiosity and a bit of nerves over here.
A small line appears between her brows. “I’m not sure I should say anything; I don’t want to insert myself into your business. But I feel like I should warn you, because I worry you’ll start to feel the same way I did—left out of something.”
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