by Tessa Teevan
Closing my eyes, I could practically see her “girls,” as she called them, and it wasn’t long before I was sliding my hand into my boxers to take care of the situation. It’s been a long damn while since I’ve been with a woman. I’m used to a little self-love, and usually, I pull out my laptop and find my favorite porn website to help get the job done.
This morning, though? I didn’t need it. All I had to do was imagine her pretty, plump lips wrapped around my dick as she sucked me dry. In my mind, my hand was her hand, and I came in an embarrassingly short amount of time. But who has time when your ten-year-old can burst in at any time?
So when she showed up this morning before I’d had time to get dressed, I still had that post-orgasm, lust-filled, muddled brain and couldn’t help but flirt with her. I saw the shock cover her face, and I knew she hadn’t expected it.
Hell, I hadn’t expected it. This wasn’t me. At least, not with her. Actually, not really with anyone. So why was I joking about my package?
Why did I give in when she asked for a kiss on the cheek?
Why did that simple contact make me want to throw her over my shoulder, take her back to my bed, and do so much more than that, regardless of the fact that my daughter was in the next room?
And why couldn’t I deny it when Lucy said that whatever the hell was going on between us was inevitable?
That’s a lot of fucking whys, and instead of trying to figure them out, I turn up my radio and blast the music to drown out all thoughts of the gorgeous girl who’s going to be spending a helluva lot of time in my home in the foreseeable future.
ONCE I step into the training room, where we’re going to go over the schedule for our next field exercise, I put my game face on and do a pretty sufficient job of rerouting my thoughts. At least, I think I do, but then Kale walks into the room with a weird look on his face. He plops down in the chair next to me and studies me. My jaw ticks as I wait for him to say something. Instead, he just sits there and stares. Finally, I’ve had enough.
“I know you like what you see, but I already told Lily she was never going to have two daddies.”
He chuckles then raps his knuckles on the table. “Funny, Cruz. You wish you could get a man who looked like me.”
A man who looked like Kale? No. But his younger sister with long, auburn hair that hangs down her back, deep-brown eyes, and a smile more breathtaking than even the most beautiful sunset? Oh hell yes.
Kale Montgomery is my best friend, and he has been since before Lily was born. We met in boot camp, both had pregnant girlfriends, and bonded over that shit. Little did we know that both of our worlds were going to change so much. Lily’s mom left me, and Kale’s girlfriend had an abortion. To say that it devastated him would be an understatement. For a while there, I wasn’t sure how he was going to move on. But when Angela walked out, he moved right on in and helped me raise Lily. He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ve ever had, and I’ll forever be grateful for him.
But in the past year, he and two of our other Army buddies, Jace and Knox, have all fallen in love and settled down. I’m the last of the bunch to remain unattached, much to their chagrin. It’s like some sort of fucked-up domino effect with these guys, and they can’t stand that I’m still unattached. One fell, and then the rest of them did, one after the other. Now they think everyone should be happy and in love. Me, included. So I’m never surprised when we’re supposed to be meeting for pool and there’s some woman there I “just have to meet”—usually Lucy’s words.
It’s not that I don’t want love or a commitment. It’s just that, for so long, I’ve thrown myself into being a dad and a soldier. I haven’t had time—or even wanted—to focus on anything else, especially a woman. But now that Ma planted the seed about how Lily is getting older, I’m starting to realize that maybe it is time to have a life. To get back on the proverbial horse and put myself out there.
Easier said than done.
“I just got off the phone with Lucy,” he says, interrupting my thoughts.
Shit. What did I say about meddling women?
“Jesus Christ, it’s been a whole hour since you’ve seen her. I knew you were whipped, man, but I didn’t know it was that bad,” I quip. I resist the urge to tug on the neck of my T-shirt even though I feel like it’s choking me.
“Funny, Cruz. I know you’re just taking out your blue balls on me, so I’ll let that one slide.”
If he only knew I’d just jacked it to the image of his sister this morning. Somehow, I bite my tongue, not wanting to open up that can of worms. One of two things would happen. Either he’d kick my ass—well, he’d try to, at least. There’s no way he can take me. Or he’d be back on the phone with Lucy in a matter of seconds, passing on the news, starting a game of telephone that would end with Kalli knowing she was the object of my sexual perversions this morning. So I keep my damn mouth shut.
“As I was saying, I just got off the phone with Lucy, and she had some kind of interesting news.”
My heartbeat quickens, and I brace myself for him to ask me what the hell I’m thinking. Instead, he sits there with a goofy-ass grin on his face.
“Spit it out, Montgomery. The suspense is killing me,” I deadpan.
He just rolls his eyes at me. “Apparently, our mothers want us to go to Vegas for New Year’s.”
What? That’s the last thing I expected him to say.
“What the hell? Ma just got there yesterday. How could they have come up with this so quickly? Not to mention, it’s only the end of June.”
“No idea, and as soon as I get off work, I’ll call Mom, but I’m supposed to see how long we could get leave for and when the best time would be.”
Before I can respond, Knox and Jace walk in.
“Guys, Vegas for New Year’s. You in?” Kale asks.
“Dude, it’s June,” Knox responds, echoing my sentiments.
Jace runs a hand through his hair. “New Year’s in Vegas would be pretty epic, but I don’t know how Lexi will feel about leaving the baby.” His wife, Lexi, is pregnant and nearly to pop, and it reminds me of Lily and how, when she was little, I hated any time I had to spend away from her.
Kale looks at him contemplatively. “Lucy said the same thing about leaving Jacob, but he’ll be six months by then. Mom’s already giving us the guilt trip of not getting to see him often, and she wants nothing more than to spend a weekend with her first grandson parent-free.” He turns to me and grins. “And your mom says the same about Lily. Apparently, they came up with the bright idea to take our kids and ship us off to Vegas. As much as I love my little guy, a few days away with my girl and you assholes for New Year’s sounds pretty damn perfect, especially after all the holidays we’ve spent in the desert. I’d say we deserve it.”
“You got that right. I’ll talk to Charlie and see what she says. We have our honeymoon in August, but we may be able to swing it for a few days,” Knox says.
I can practically see the excitement in Kale’s eyes because one guy’s in. Again, it’s going to be a domino effect, and now that one of us has agreed, it’s inevitable that we all will as long as we can coordinate our leave. Except Jace. He’s head-over-freaking-boots in love with Lexi, and now that they’re expecting their first child any day now, I know they’ll be sitting this one out. Not that I blame him.
“I still think it’s weird, and I’m going to talk to Ma, but if she and Ginger want to keep Lily for a few days, I guess I could use a break.” As soon as I say the words, I feel like an asshole, knowing that every single second spent with my daughter is precious, especially after multiple deployments, but Kale’s also right. If anyone’s earned it, it’s us, and I’ve never been to Vegas, so what the hell.
As the guys start talking dates, someone across the room barks my name. I look up to see Captain Cook standing in the doorway. He has a folder in his hand as he gestures for me to join him.
Kale looks up at me. “Ooooh, Cruz, what’d you do?” he asks.
I simply s
hrug, having no idea, but I stand and follow Captain Cook out the door and into his office, where he tells me to take a seat. Panic surfaces as I wonder if I’m about to be called up again. Not that I don’t love serving my country, but I already missed almost the entire year last year with Lily, and the last thing I want to do is deploy again so soon. Just as I think he’s going to give me the bad news, he takes something out of his drawer. When he hands over a file that says “Cruz Family Care Plan,” I’m confused.
“Sir, may I ask what this is about? I updated my family care plan just a few months ago. Nothing’s changed.” I tell him, knowing we’re only required to go over it annually and my time is definitely not up.
“Don’t worry about it, Cruz. We’re doing self-inspection for our members with family care plans, and I just want to follow up with you on some things.”
Swallowing hard, I nod and wonder what “things” he wants to follow up on.
“So, let’s see here. You still maintain sole custody of your ten-year-old daughter, Lily, is that right?”
Raking a hand through my hair, I look down at my plan before meeting his eyes. “Yes, and my mother has power of attorney and is Lily’s appointed guardian whenever I’m away. The paperwork is all right here, sir.”
“I’m aware of that, Cruz. I just want to make sure we cover all our bases. The Army takes family care plans very seriously, and we wouldn’t want something to happen if you were gone, now would we?”
“No, sir,” I breathe out.
“I’ve noticed there is no official custodial judgment in your file. Is her mother deceased?” he asks.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked this question about Angela, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
“No, she’s not deceased.”
He frowns at my terse answer. “Do you mind if I ask where she is?”
“I have no idea where she is. Shortly after I was sent to my first post, she decided being a mother wasn’t for her. She left one day while I was at work, and I haven’t heard from her since. That was ten years ago.”
His eyebrows knit together, and he looks back down at the paperwork. “Well, that explains why there is no court order. Have you considered looking into terminating her parental rights by claiming abandonment?”
I sit back in my chair, unsure of how to answer that question. “With all due respect, sir, like I said, it’s been ten years. If Angela hasn’t wanted to be a mother by now, I’m not sure what spending the money on getting an attorney to terminate her parental rights would do.”
He leans forward and rests his elbows on the desk. “You’re probably right, but you can never be too careful, especially when it comes to your kids. It would just ensure that you’re covering all your bases. Hypothetically speaking, let’s say something happens to you. While you have it appointed that your guardian would get custody, if her mother—for whatever reason—showed back up with nothing on file showing she abandoned her, a judge could possible award custody to her.”
Holy shit. My heart sinks at his words. I’ve never even entertained the possibility. I’ve blissfully just assumed Angela was done for good and that was that. Getting it in writing never crossed my mind.
“To be honest, sir, I’ve never thought about it that way, and it’s definitely something I’ll take into consideration.”
He gives me a brief nod and makes a note in my file before closing it. “It’s all just a precaution, Sergeant Cruz, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t discuss this with you. Here,” he says, handing me a card. “This is the contact information for the JAG office. They’ll know more about the laws than I do. I suggest you make an appointment and see what you can do to get it on paper that you retain sole custody and your mother is to take it in the event something happens to you.”
“Thank you, sir. I definitely will.”
As he dismisses me from his office, my mind is reeling. Part of me knows there’s no way in hell Angela would ever show back up again. It’s been ten damn years, and every time we’ve been sent to a new post, Ma’s made sure that Angela’s mother has our contact information, but we’ve never heard a peep from any of them. The last thing I want is to have a court case in which it’s possible Angela would be summoned. It’s been so much easier to live in my bubble, pretending she no longer exists and that Ma and I are all Lily needs. What if I open up the case and Angela decides that it’s time? What would that do to Lily? What would that do to me?
But at the same time, can I really run the risk that if—heaven forbid—I die, she might be able to take Lily from Ma? That’d be a far worse fate.
For the rest of the day, the JAG card burns a hole in my pocket, and by the time I’m heading home, I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do. The only thing that keeps my spirits up is knowing that Kalli will be there when I get home.
And about that?
I have no idea what I’m going to do, either.
LILY AND I spent almost the entire day with Lucy and Jacob, which equated to Lily entertaining the baby while Lucy and I caught up on the past couple of months. By late afternoon, Lily was lounging on the couch because “taking care of kids is such hard work.” As much as she loves her little cousin, I have a feeling she’ll be okay if they don’t come back over for a while.
Feeling antsy and not caring to watch reruns of Full House with her, I get up from the couch and venture to the kitchen, deciding to repay the favor of dinner from the night before. I still haven’t had a chance to get groceries, and while I don’t want to push my luck on dinner twice in a row, I need something to occupy my time.
When Xavier pulls into the drive, my heart nearly skips a beat. After this morning’s flirtation and kiss on the cheek, I’m unsure of how to act. Last night, I was so ready to cool my jets, and then he flipped me upside down and inside out. I have no idea which Xavier is going to walk in that door.
I’m at the stove stirring Mom’s famous marinara sauce when I hear him greet Lily. Her squeals bring a smile to my face. I close my eyes, and for a split second, I pretend they’re mine. That this is my life—making dinner for my family, in a home filled with laughter and love.
It’s probably unhealthy the way I’m already becoming attached, but I can’t help it. I let out a deep sigh, and just as I’m about to open my eyes, I feel two strong arms slide around my waist as a chin comes to rest in the crook of my neck.
“Making dinner?” His whisper tickles my neck, and I can’t help but tilt my neck some more.
My heart pounds as I try to maintain my composure. He’s touching me. He’s breathing on me. He’s in my space, and I can barely think straight.
“Were you promoted to Captain Obvious today?”
He chuckles, the vibrations sending tingling shivers down my spine. “You start spoiling us like this and I might start getting used to it.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?” I whisper, biting my lip.
The room fills with silence as I await his answer. Instead, he takes a deep breath and gives my waist a squeeze. “I know it’s only been a couple of days, but dammit, Kalli, I’m glad you’re here.”
Something in his tone worries me, so I turn the burner down and shift in his arms until our eyes meet. “You okay?”
“I don’t know,” he answers honestly.
“Bad day?”
“You could say that.”
Our faces are so close, and it would be so easy for me to press my lips against his and make everything better. As much as I want to, I resist.
“Wanna talk about it?”
His eyes flick back and forth between mine, and his jaw tenses. Just as I think he’s about to answer me, though, the over timer goes off.
Definitely not saved by the bell. He pushes back from me, and I miss his closeness immediately.
“Maybe later.”
“I’ll hold you to that, Cruz,” I warn.
“I bet you will,” he responds playfully, officially ending the serious moment. “You sticking arou
nd for dinner again?”
“Am I invited?”
“What kind of guy would I be if I didn’t allow the cook to stay? Just don’t think I’m going to start paying you more for making meals.”
“Oh, Cruz. Don’t worry about it. We can talk about another type of payment plan.”
His eyebrows rise, and suddenly, I realize that maybe it’s too soon for all the innuendo.
“The food! I mean sharing the food, you perv!”
“Sure you do, Montgomery. We’ll go with that. You’re in it for the ‘food’,” he says, using air quotes.
I throw a dish towel at him, which he ducks, of course. “Get out of my kitchen!” I yell.
He chuckles. “Don’t you mean my kitchen?”
“Arg! Whatever. Go away!”
And he does just that, leaving me unable to take my eyes off his ass. You know that whole saying “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away”?
Yeah, they invented that with Xavier Cruz in mind.
ONCE XAVIER reenters the kitchen wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tight Army T-shirt, his demeanor has changed. It’s as if he hadn’t just had his arms around my waist, his chin on my neck, his hot breath tickling my skin. It’s probably only been about a minute since we were even touching, but my body is still tingling from the memory. If I don’t get a grip soon, I have no idea how I’m going to last the entire summer.
“Need any help?” he asks.
I turn, giving him a smile. “Nope, all good here!” I tell him, even though I have half a mind to ask him to come scratch the sudden itch I have on the back of my neck. And the other itch I’ve had since I met him. I refrain, however, and mentally pat myself on the back. “Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.”
He nods. “Sounds good. I’ll go get Lily to set the table.”
“Geez, you’re such a hardass, Cruz. Don’t you know she’s on summer vacation?”