by Leia Shaw
Silence enveloped the entire restaurant. It felt like all eyes were on her. The tears would spill over any moment.
She pushed her chair back. “Excuse me,” she muttered and stood then fled the restaurant just in time.
She felt someone at her heels. Soft footsteps. It was Q. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she speed-walked straight to the car.
Once in the privacy of the back seat, she let loose. Q wrapped her arms around her and forced her head onto her lap. Deep sobs wracked her body as she soaked through Q’s jeans. What had she been thinking? That Q would be welcomed with open arms? She was so stupid. She’d put Jude and Q through this nightmare, trying to do what she thought was right. Who knew what was right or wrong anyway? The world was a mix of grays – even when it came to religion. God still loved her. She knew it, felt it every day. Why couldn’t everyone see it? Why couldn’t they see God in love? In Q? In Jude?
“I’m blubbering all over your pants,” she said between hiccups.
“Shh,” Q soothed. “It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.” She looked up through watery eyes. “I’m so sorry about what they said.”
Q chuckled. “I’ve been bi a long time, beautiful. I’ve heard it all.”
The car door opened and Jude shoved in on the other side of Sabrina. He pulled her from Q’s grasp and hugged her tight into his chest.
“You did great, love,” he cooed. “Such a brave girl. I’m so proud of you.”
“That was a disaster.”
“No. Once you left, your father stuck up for you. He said you were their daughter no matter who you loved and that me and Q are welcome to all the family events.” He chuckled. “You should’ve seen him, Sabrina. I think there’s an inner Dom there.” He stroked up and down her back. “Your mom will come around. You did the right thing.”
Did she? She turned to look at Q. Her Q. Sexy, funny, loving. “I wouldn’t give you up for anything,” she told her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.
Q smiled.
“And I’m not comfortable going to the family Christmas party if they don’t accept you.”
“No, Sabrina –”
“It’s my decision.” She pulled away from Jude and straightened out her hair and dress. “I won’t expose you to their scathing looks. Either they behave or we’re not going.”
Jude opened his mouth, presumably to argue.
“Don’t bother arguing,” she snapped. “I’ve made up my m–”
A hand clamped over her mouth. She glared at Jude.
“I was going to say…” He shushed her with the Dom eye. “That you’re not one to make demands about good behavior.”
Q laughed. “I was thinking the same thing.”
She rolled her eyes then pulled his hand away. “Ha, ha, very funny. I’m ready to go home.” Wiping her tear-streaked face, she sighed. “Can we cuddle?”
Jude nodded. “Movie night?”
Q and Sabrina exchanged a sly glance. “Christmas movie night,” Sabrina said, beseeching Jude with her eyes.
“Yes!” Q cheered as Jude groaned.
Maybe if they gave him a blowjob during the movie, he’d start to see the joy of the holidays. Maybe she would too. She was going to try to forget today for a while at least.
Chapter 5
Jude
Hubert, the doorman to the Archway Towers waved an officious yet friendly goodbye and the elevator doors glided across silently, cutting him from Jude’s view. Now that was a smooth, efficient five-million-dollar-per-apartment door glide if Jude had ever seen one. The elevator began to rise.
“Made it past the Doorman at the First Gate. Onward to the Second Gate,” he droned, hoping the solemn tone would shake Sabrina from her jittery mood. He understood why she was nervous. This was the first time he’d brought both girls to a family event other than his dad’s funeral.
“Will they let us through?” Q looked down at her clothing – all black and all Q. “With me dressed like a mentally disturbed goth freak?” She smirked at Sabrina. “Isn’t that what you call me?”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly. You don’t look mentally disturbed in that dress. You look pretty.” Her gaze dropped to Q’s shoes. Mary Janes, he’d learned on the train ride over, and the buckles were shaped like little bats. But there’d been a fight about them. It was Q’s one requirement for wearing what she’d called a “grown-up dress.” Sabrina had argued round and round but Q’s stubbornness had won out.
With a pointed glare, Sabrina said, “Those are what make you look like a goth freak.” Then with a sigh, she stepped in and fussed with Q’s hair.
It surprised him that Q didn’t bat her away – until he saw her gaze glued to Sabrina’s cleavage. He chuckled. “Good view there, Q?”
Only a flicker of embarrassment crossed her features before she shrugged. “What? It’s mine to leer at too.”
Sabrina caught on. With a huff, she yanked up her purple and black dress and tossed Q a stern look. “Maybe we should trade roles tonight since you can’t seem to behave.”
In less than a second, Q had Sabrina pressed up against the elevator wall. “I’m the only switch around here, little girl.”
The elevator dinged and Sabrina’s eyes flitted nervously to the door. “Let me go, Q,” she whispered as if someone outside were listening.
Q released her and Sabrina straightened out her hair and dress, avoiding eye contact with either of them. That little show of dominance had put Sabrina right into sub mode. He could see the tension ease from her shoulders as her eyes drifted shut a moment. She inhaled, then exhaled a deep breath. Sub mode did tend to settle her down. Had Q done that on purpose?
As the elevator doors opened, he shared a glance with Q and she winked. In these situations, Q always seemed a little more relaxed than Sabrina. Years of feeling like a disappointment had toughened her. He was still struck with the impulse to hunt down Nico and do bad things to him, but ending up in jail wouldn’t help Q any.
“This is our floor,” he said, then held them open as the girls walked out.
Sabrina stared at the patterned red and gold rug as they made their way down the long hallway.
“I feel like there should be dark, ominous music playing in the background,” Q said. “Sabrina, our resident DJ, any suggestions?”
Her head popped up and her bottom lip was red from biting it. “What if they don’t like me?”
Q’s attempt at lightening the mood didn’t work. With a sigh, he stopped in the middle of the hallway and took Sabrina’s face in his hands.
“It’s just my brother, his wife and kids, and my mom. You’ve already met –”
“At a funeral!” She pulled away. “That’s not a very good introduction.”
It was obvious her family’s over-the-top reaction had scared her into thinking his family would do the same. Last year, when he’d walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to him, his mother had been the one to set him straight. She knew about Sabrina and Q – their relationship – and she accepted it. Jude suspected she was just happy he’d fallen in love at all. She’d always been a romantic, wanting for her sons to have a strong, enduring relationship like she’d had with his dad. Matthias had been the first. Seven years ago, he’d married Vanessa and now he had two kids and probably plans for more.
“My brother is a very open-minded person,” he said. “They live in New York City. I’m sure he and his wife have seen every mixed up, unconventional, crazy combination of pairing out there.”
A hint of a smile on her face made him grin.
“Maybe you’re right.” She glanced around the empty hallway. “Though the swanky apartment complex in the Upper East Side doesn’t inspire confidence. What’s he gonna think of Q covered in creepy tattoos?”
Q arched a brow. “Nothing, because he’s not going to see them.” She wrapped her arms around Sabrina’s shoulders. “And they’re going to love you. Everyone who meets you does.”
“Sure,”
she mumbled. “Can I just sit at the kids table? Kids usually like me.”
Jude chuckled. “Okay. If that’ll make you feel better. Now come on. We’re late already.”
He knocked on door #49 and it swung open. They were met with Matthias’ cheery grin. “Merry Christmas!”
Coats were taken, hugs exchanged, backs were pounded and cheeks kissed. Everyone was smiling, even Sabrina when he checked.
“Your beard is gone,” Jude said, taking a good at the brother he hadn’t seen since the funeral. From a long way back, Matthias had persisted in growing some sort of facial hair. A big man, his frolicsome wavy mass of reddish hair on top of his head had often matched his face.
“It is, alas, brother,” Matthias boomed, scrubbing his clean chin. “I’m impressing the interns, so it had to go.” He winked at the girls.
“Thank god,” Vanessa whispered loudly, twitching her peach skirt aside like a cat swishing its tail. “I hate scratchy beards. I even threatened to put on a fake one made of scrubbing brush once, soon after we married. It didn’t work.”
“Of course not, hon. If anyone’s wearing a scrubbing brush beard, it’s me.” He grabbed his wife around the waist, swept stray locks of her auburn hair out of the way, then leaned her back in a grandiose kiss.
Jude grinned. Knowing Vanessa, she would’ve really done the prank too. The pair of them had been drama geeks back in college. Shakespeare was still probably Matthias’s favorite author.
“Come in! Come in! The food awaits us.” After sweeping his hands forward to encourage them, Matthias casually remarked to Sabrina and Q as they flanked him. “You two are far too beautiful for my brother. If you ever want to leave his harem, I’ll be happy to add you to mine.”
For a second, Jude froze. Fuck. The man was as ridiculous as when he was twenty. But, he’d broken the ice. Sabrina giggled and went pink. He eyed her. Shy mode tonight.
He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Surgeons. All bluster and your socializing manners are as bad as your bedside manners. You can’t have either of them, Matthias.”
“Jeez. And you’re lucky I know you inside out, mister.” Vanessa tsked at her husband. “But, as you said, the food’s waiting. Organizing harems can take a rain check. And the head, umm, what am I? Harem girl? Gets to have a say, and I say no vacancies.”
“Thank you, my chief harem girl. Seriously, Sabrina and Q, there’s no judgy-ness in my house. Anything goes here. Discuss religion, politics, sex.” He peeked at Vanessa as if double-checking. “As long as we keep it sane and nobody pulls out brass knuckles, go for it.”
Mom must have prepped them, Jude figured. He was so damn proud of his family.
While Q and Sabrina stood looking bemused but happy, his mother came forward. Elegant, in a chic skirt and blouse, she looked one hundred percent healthier and happier than when he’d last seen her.
She looked at Sabrina and Q. “Merry Christmas!” Like Vanessa and Matthias, she embraced them and warmth flooded his chest.
Beyond her was a large, arched doorway leading into a dining room. The table was set with serviettes and dishes and goblets. As she spread her arms to receive his hug, two shrieking children, about three or four years old, ran past either side of her.
“Daddy!” They each clung to a leg of their father, hopping up and down a little to get attention. The twins.
“Wow, they’ve grown, Vanessa.” When he’d seen them months ago, they’d been damn smaller and not so fast. Kids were like weeds. Adorable weeds, though. The girl, he remembered, was Trinity, and the boy, Jax.
“You have no idea.” Vanessa beamed at her children. “They’ve outgrown their winter clothes already!”
“Sorry, they scampered past me. Last I saw they were playing on the floor.” His mother frowned. “Do we need a crowbar, Matthias?”
“Probably.” With his kids shrieking, he turned and set off for the dining room like a giant stiff-limbed robot with them still latched onto his legs. “Or explosives.”
“They’re so cute.”
Sabrina had said that? He hadn’t known she liked kids. All her mutterings about her baby-crazy aunts had given him entirely the opposite impression. Though kids certainly loved her. Babies in grocery stores often grinned at her when she made silly faces at them.
They had drinks after lunch in the living room, with all of them seated on the three couches that were arranged in a big ‘U’ so they faced each other across the glass and steel coffee table. A little jungle of plants grew inside the globe under the glass of the table. Some classical music that might’ve been Beethoven, wafted from the sound system.
“How’s the business going, bro?” Matthias asked, stretching back into the couch cushion, one arm across the armrest. “Need a hand at all? You know it’d be a pleasure for me to give you some investment funds.”
“It’s going well.” He nodded, glancing from his brother to where Jax was driving a plastic car over his mom’s knees, closely followed by Trinity who drove a green bus. “Thank you for the offer, but no.”
“And you wouldn’t take it even if you were drowning in debt, would you?”
“Uh. Probably not. But we’re okay.” He swept his hand toward the girls. “Three wages, you know.”
Matthias chuckled, then added quietly. “So that’s it. You sneaky bastard.”
“That too.” He grinned.
Matthias just shook his head in dismay.
“But hey, thanks for making them comfortable when we got here. I appreciate that.”
“What?” A frown rolled up his forehead. “Saying your girls and you were welcome? That was nothing, man. Nothing.”
“It…was cool. You have no idea what they’ve been through. Not everyone is okay with this.”
“Ahhh.” Matthias’s sigh seemed to bring in a gentle peace as they watched the children play. “Does that mean…”
“What?”
“Do I get one for my harem?”
“Hell, no!” He looked at how happy Matthias was and there was something he needed to say. “Just... you can do something for me.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t be like dad too much, you know? Keep your family at the top of your priority list. Not work.” He smiled lopsidedly. “Hope that doesn’t get me kicked out?”
“No. I know exactly what you mean. I’m on that already. Believe me.”
“Good. Good.” Jude nodded.
The women, even Q, had been talking animatedly about something but they’d all stopped to watch Jax, and he was watching them. He’d reached the end of the familiar knees for his road and stood poised, car on mom’s knee, swaying on his little legs. His eyes were locked on Sabrina who was the next in line on the couch. Q was next to her and she’d leaned in a bit to see.
It was like some sort of posed montage.
“Beep. Beep,” said Trinity, and she poked Jax in the back. “Go!”
At that, Sabrina bent down and lowered her forearm slowly to make a bridge across their knees, complete with mechanical sound effects. “All set for your crossing, sir,” she said in a silly announcer’s voice.
Jax and Trinity giggled.
“Brmm. Brmm,” spluttered Jax, driving the car tentatively onto Sabrina’s hand and over her wrist. Trinity followed and by the time the boy reached the end of Sabrina’s “road,” Q had put her arm down too.
“Hmm.” Matthias looked from the girls back to Jude. “Kids are like crack, you know? Need intervention? There’s a friendly psychiatrist I can refer you to.”
“Huh. No. Kids are not for us. Not yet.”
“Yeah? Next thing you’ll be volunteering to change diapers.”
“Christ. If I ever do that you can get me that shrink.”
The train trip back to Cobalt Harbor – though only an hour or so long – gave them all time to think. They were too tired to talk but somehow he knew they'd all taken something good away from being with his family. Being together – the three of them as a family, around vanilla people – it co
uld work. And the longer they stayed together, the easier it would be for people to accept. The rocking of the train as the girls leaned into him seemed to meld them into a greater, more wonderful whole than ever before.
***
Three days until Christmas and the girls were trying to pull the wool over his eyes. Or was that the tinsel? Jude grinned as he studied the Naughty and Nice list on fridge. Morning rivaled evening for being the best time of day for him. Wake up with a hard-on, stir the girls, and have lazy morning sex. Today he’d decided not to disturb them, seeing as how they were curled up together so beautifully. His heart truly ached when he saw Sabrina tucked under Q as he often found her.
But this…he laid his palm on the fridge door beside the whiteboard. The scores were messed up. Not only did Q have zero naughtiness in her column, but one of them had gone ballistic on him sometime last night. Written crookedly, he’d been declared Jingle Balls the Naughty Christmas Elf for... he squinted to read the blurred letters... for not letting Q and Sabrina make-out at every kissing scene in the movie last night. After the long day with his family, they’d watched the new Batman movie and ate popcorn. He’d barely been able to handle the two of them squirming around in their cute PJ’s, curled up next to him for a whole two hours. And he’d been too tired for a play session. So now he had twelve naughty faces below his name.
They’d all crashed in bed around midnight. When had they had time?
He swallowed the last two inches of orange juice in his glass, set it down, then rooted out the sheet of sticky gold stars from a drawer. These should stick to girls, and discovering the culprit would be fun. Especially since it looked like Q’s writing and he rarely saw her bratty side manifest anymore. A far cry from this time last year. But Q had the most submissive spirit he’d ever seen in a woman. Though tough on the outside, inside she was sometimes as fragile as a butterfly. And so eager to please. Once he’d proven his dominance physically, and that he was there for her emotionally, she was all his.
When he entered the bedroom, they were still asleep and in the same position. Damned if he’d ever admit to being mushy but a smile crept onto his face and he quietly sat down on the chest at the end of the bed to admire his women. As the Dom, he’d exercised his rights last night and had them both go to bed naked apart from their public collars, though he wore boxers. Since they’d insisted on teasing him all through the movie, this was a bit of a message not to forget that he was boss.