by Leia Shaw
“I don’t know. Tell us please, love. What’s got you so upset?” What in hell was this? Had she taken a phone call upstairs? No. Couldn’t be that. She’d seemed worried before she went up. Had the ghost frightened her? They hadn’t seen Grace for months though.
Sabrina walked to his side and put a hand on Q’s shoulder. “Q?”
“Honey, come on. Please? You’re worrying me and Sabrina.”
While a few bigger sobs jarred her chest, he waited.
Q breathed in, long and sniffly. She straightened and looked red-eyed at him and Sabrina. “I…I’m pregnant.”
Hell. Straight off the bat, elation and a little bit of scariness rushed in. But… “Fuck. A baby?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears starting again. “I missed my period but I wasn’t sure. I was having these awful mood swings. Well, you saw. Then I remembered there was that time we couldn’t find a condom and you just pulled out instead and… I know the chances are slim but I just took a test upstairs. It came out positive.” She stopped rambling and looked at him. “But more than that, I just know it. I feel it.”
He was a dad. Or was going to be. He’d knocked up Q sometime, somehow. Holy shit.
“A baby!” His hug yanked Q in closer, then Sabrina. “Wow! Oh my god.”
“Yeah.” Q grimaced and smiled jerkily. “I’m sorry. I know we didn’t plan this.”
Oh hell. That was it. “No!” He grabbed her hands and squeezed. “No. This is just…” He struggled. How to express the weird joy filling him. “It’s fucking wonderful. I knocked you up? Jeez. Not planned but I can’t think of anything better than us having a kid.”
She looked up from gazing at the floor and gave him a puzzled expression. “You sure?”
This time he held her face in his palms. “Yes. I am. You’re a wonderful, beautiful girl and I am so happy right now. You two are going to be the best moms ever.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly. “I thought about it when I suspected, yesterday. It scares me but I do want this baby. I’m so glad you’re not pissed or flipping out… and I’m happy I won’t have to raise her alone. Sabrina?”
“Of course! I love kids. I don’t want to have one inside me yet. But…yeah. I’m happy. Happy for you.” Then she leaned in and managed to drag them back into that big hug.
Q snuggled closer, standing between his legs. “Okay,” she said shakily.
Sensing Q wasn’t quite settled yet, he moved them to the couch, keeping Q tucked under his arm while directing Sabrina to turn off the burners for a bit. When all three snuggled in on their overstuffed couch, he kissed Q’s forehead, then Sabrina’s.
Q wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I had almost convinced myself that this was the end of us. I was so scared. We’ll manage, right?” She was trembling.
Jude pulled her closer, trying to warm her up. She shook like she was going to fly apart. Then, her teeth started chattering.
“I need books. I don’t know how to take care of a baby.” She tried to bolt off the couch, but Jude held her where she was.
“That can wait, Q. We have eight months to figure things out before the baby comes. Relax with us for awhile. I want my girls right here.”
“We’ll look online tomorrow. It’ll be okay.” Sabrina grabbed her hand and held it, their clasped hands resting on Jude’s stomach. “Knowing you, you’ll know enough about babies by the time he or she is born that you’ll be able to write a manual. This baby will be very well taken care of.”
But her mouth turned down. “I’m going to be a terrible mother. I’m going to forget to feed her, or change her or something. The kids at the playground are going to laugh at her because I look weird. Maybe Sabrina will have to be the one to do parent/teacher meetings so they don’t assume she was a crack baby. Sabrina looks wholesome. We’ll get her a nice 50’s dress and some pearls, no one will ever suspect her mother looks like Wednesday Adams. That could work, right?” Q’s babbling was accompanied by a wild look in her eyes.
“Q, stop. Your mind is running in circles.” Jude smiled, doing his best to look reassuring. “We’ll get this all figured out. There’s a lot of time to get ready. And no one is going to judge you harshly when you go to school meetings. If you need help picking out something to wear at that point, I’m sure Sabrina would love to take you shopping. But that’s four years away.”
Funny thing was, inside, his head was doing the same thing as Q’s. He didn’t know much about babies, either.
He had a feeling they wouldn’t let him get away with not changing diapers. He couldn’t even get out of doing dishes, even though he purposely did a crappy job – and he was the Dom. Apparently that didn’t excuse you from housework.
But, babies were so stinkin’ cute. A grin overtook him. This was their baby. It was going to be even more amazing than regular old babies. He was damn well going to be the kind of dad that would have made his father proud.
He shifted his arms, making sure they both knew he had them. Then he let out a sigh, put his forehead to Q’s hair and breathed, just breathed. The future was looking awesome. Scary, but awesome.
Chapter 8
Q
The bathroom was quiet, compared to the rest of the house, although the hum from the throng of Sabrina’s family members was audible even through the closed door. Q sighed, leaning forward to look at herself in the mirror over the sink. Straight black hair, blue eyes, white skin… she looked the same as she had a couple of days ago, but she felt like a completely different person. Although she wasn’t, she looked too young to be someone’s mother.
Visions of parent/teacher meetings just a few years down the road flashed past. Her mind kept drifting back to that situation, like it was the defining moment for her as a mother in the eyes of society. The teacher would simper at Jude, smile pleasantly at Sabrina, and merely raise a brow at Q. Would they go to those together – would they come out at the school? The baby probably would if they didn’t.
She looked again, trying to imagine how other people saw her. The tattoos, the dark clothes. She gave the air of being too immature to be a good mother. She hoped the baby wasn’t ashamed of them – of her.
Baby. Her hands flattened protectively over her flat stomach, then lifting her shirt so she could look again – like a little pot belly would miraculously appear between one moment and the next.
My baby. Our baby.
A warmth suffused her. They’d made this baby together, the three of them. Even though Sabrina’s genetics wouldn’t be involved, she’d helped – she was there when it happened, and not just as a spectator.
Although it didn’t look like a baby yet, more like a speck. She’d looked it up. It was amazing to Q how quickly a baby could be built – even stranger that her body would just do it without her having to concentrate on where to put everything.
Sabrina had ambushed Q with the laptop before they’d left the house to look at baby furniture. And shoes! She hadn’t shut up about baby shoes on the car ride over either. If this baby was a boy, he’d better get used to having a lot of pretty things. His mommy had her eye on a round crib with eyelet bedding. His mama had her eye on something a little more sedate – oak furniture that they could use for his or her brothers and sisters.
Q had this weird feeling that it was a girl though. They’d better start talking names soon, because it would take them forever to agree.
And Jude. She’d never expected his reaction. The man was strutting around like he’d won the Nobel Prize. Like he hadn’t been cocky enough in the first place! Q chuckled to herself. Apparently, even more brag-worthy than being a Dom with two subs, or a guy with two girlfriends, was getting a girl pregnant. It was good he was feeling virile, because she’d been so horny lately. Probably the hormones.
God forbid he ever knock both of them up at the same time – his head would explode.
It would be fun to be pregnant with Sabrina some day, if the opportunity arose. Like having twins. And children? Q want
ed a houseful. They’d discussed it before, and they all seemed to be on the same page. It had been a long-range goal, but here they were. Apparently, Santa had decided it was time.
As she opened the door, she deliberately removed her hand from her belly. It was going to be hard not to give away her condition with her body language before they decided to announce it. They’d wait a few months before they shared their news though. They needed time to adjust to their relationship before they sprang this on them.
Jude had told them in no uncertain terms, though, that he would be telling Cross the next time he saw him. He just had to tell another man – someone who would understand. Sometimes she forgot how outnumbered he was in the house. He might have been the Dom, but it was in a house of diminutive Amazons.
One of Sabrina’s cousins waited on the other side of the door with her three-year-old daughter, Ava. She grimaced an apology as Ava scooted past. “Have to go potty now!”
With a smile that made her feel warm and fuzzy down to her toes, she walked to the living room. It had been filled with people moments ago, but was empty now. There was hollering from the basement turned man cave by Sabrina’s dad, and she guessed they’d started the home video of Sabrina’s cousin’s wedding. Hollering while watching a wedding might seem odd, but with the Romanos, it was the polite way to show affection.
She hoped they would truly accept her and the baby into the family. They had Jude’s family – Q adored his mother and brother, but it was such a tiny, polite family. Not the same as how she remembered her own childhood.
The Romanos were loud and affectionate. Children ran wild through the house, patted affectionately by random family members. People argued politics, dogs tumbled around your feet and people grabbed you and kissed you without any warning or apology. This is what she wanted for their baby. A big, messy family.
She was glad Jude had convinced Sabrina to give her family a second chance. It’d been nerve-wracking when they’d first walked into her mother’s house. Sabrina had squeezed Q’s hand so hard she could still feel it. Aside from a few stares and a couple whispered, no one treated them any differently than before.
A small movement caught her eye, and Q realized she wasn’t alone. Sabrina’s mom stood, quiet and still at the window, looking out into the snowy night. She turned, and Q fought the urge to flee. They were going to have to talk to each other someday though, if family ties were going to stay intact.
Momma pursed her lips, then gave Q a tight smile. “So glad you could make it, Q.”
“Thanks, Momma Romano.” She winced. She’d been calling her that for so long it was second nature. Maybe it would grate on her now, considering what she knew.
“It’s okay. You can still call me that.” She smiled vaguely. “I don’t blame you. I know you didn’t aim to ruin my Sabrina. You had no mother to teach you right from wrong.”
Q tactfully chose not to argue. “You really feel like she’s ruined, Momma?” Q felt terrible for her and for Sabrina.
“She’s always been a bit of a disappointment.” Momma sighed. “Not pretty like her cousins, or good in school. I hoped the silly ghost chases were just a phase. I’d say this…this threesome thing is a phase but I know Sabrina well enough to see when her heart is set on something.”
She paused, then looked at Q. “Would you let her go? If it made her life easier? If it meant she didn’t have to experience the hurtful comments over and over again?”
Q wanted to tell her Sabrina was most hurt by her comments, but this was hard enough for Momma as it was. “If Sabrina wanted an easy life, then I would. But she’s brave. And strong. Most people just don’t see it.”
Momma nodded though Q knew she didn’t really hear. “You could choose for her, you know.”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently. “I won’t do that. Momma, I know you think Sabrina’s going to hell, that I am too,” she blinked back tears, “but your daughter is a good girl. If anyone is going to heaven, it’s Sabrina. She’s like an angel. God wouldn’t turn her away because she loves me. I refuse to believe that.” Without realizing it was coming, Q burst into tears.
Momma Romano went into full-on Momma mode. In a heartbeat, she was wrapped in the woman’s strong embrace – her hair was petted and her back was patted. Q tried to pull away, embarrassed, but Momma refused to let her go.
Now, more than ever, Q missed her own mother. Another sob shook her.
“Shh, now. Maybe you’re right, Quimby. You’ve always been a good girl too. You’ve been a positive influence on her, even though it was hard to admit it for the past couple of days. You and Jude ground her. I just wish it wasn’t three of you together.” She sighed. “It’ll be so hard to explain to people. Even harder than telling people she’s… gay.”
Q tucked her chin against Momma’s shoulder. “She’s not gay, Momma, we’re bi. Otherwise we wouldn’t be with Jude. But I understand how you must be feeling. We didn’t mean for this to happen. It just did. We never meant for any of you to get hurt. We had no intention of bringing shame to the family.”
They both went quiet. Q gave Momma time to sort through her thoughts.
Eventually, she heaved a sigh and let Q go. She picked a piece of lint from Q’s black Christmas sweater. “Bah! This family can handle it. There are so many people that most everybody will assume you’re a cousin of so-and-so and you’ll blend right in. You’re like a daughter to me, Q. Even when Sabrina is rude because of my big mouth, you don’t tell this old lady to shut up. Maybe between you and Jude you can finally teach Sabrina some manners.”
She forced herself not to laugh. Teach Sabrina manners? Mmmmm. That thought gave her some ideas for later tonight. She hoped Momma couldn’t read her mind, because it had suddenly gone straight into the gutter.
Sabrina’s mother took Q by the hand and pulled her toward the stairs. “Let’s go watch the DVD and make my sister happy. That Jude can really cut a rug. The camera zooms in on him a lot. That’s what they get for letting Sabrina’s gay uncle do the video.” She rolled her eyes and laughed. Her voice dropped to a more serious tone. “Really, though, you and Sabrina should convince him to go back to medical school. Although construction isn’t so bad. My brother Sylvio made good money at it, until the day he died – God bless him.”
Before they reached the top of the stairs, Sabrina came bounding up and stopped in front of them. She looked upset to see them together. Q guessed her trip to the bathroom had taken too long and made Sabrina suspicious. Subtly, Q gave her a thumbs-up, and Sabrina’s small smile was more relieved than she probably would have admitted to. Q knew that she did care what her family thought, although her initial anger had given her some false bravado.
“You were looking for Q?” Momma said, eyeing Sabrina. “She’s in one piece. I promised your father I would behave. But if she breaks your heart it may be a different story. Come on, we’re going back to finish watching the video.” Momma wrapped her arm around Sabrina’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Just never come to me for advice on bedroom issues, okay? I’m old and I don’t want to think about that.”
Sabrina gave a short laugh. “No, Mom.”
They descended arm in arm, then Momma sent them on to sit with Jude, while she stopped to chat with one of her sisters.
Q slid onto the couch on one side of Jude and Sabrina took the other. He winked at Sabrina, then gave Q a dazzling smile and a subtle stroke to her belly, before turning politely back to face the television. Sabrina’s hand tugged on her sleeve behind Jude’s back, and their fingers linked there secretly, away from the eyes of their prying relatives.
Chapter 9
Sabrina
“Mmm,” Sabrina murmured into her mug. Jude’s hot chocolate was the best. “Where did you learn to make this?”
“Mexico,” he answered, handing a mug to Q, then settling down on a pillow in front of the fireplace. “Me and a buddy worked just outside Tijuana, building houses with Habitat for Humanity. The locals gave me the recipe.”
“It’s got a little kick,” Q said after sipping hers. “What’s in it?”
“Secret ingredient.” He winked. “If I tell you, what’s to keep you from running off with some hotter Dom?”
Sabrina snorted. “How about a baby?” Her heart sunk at the reminder of the news they’d rejoiced over just that morning.
A baby. At first, she’d been excited, thinking only of baby shoes. As a self-professed shoe whore, it was the first thing that came to mind. Even as a child, her dolls would go naked for days but always have the best shoes she could find.
But then…it had fully sunk in. It wasn’t that she didn’t want a baby. Q had been talking family for a few months now. She’d known it was bound to come up sooner or later – just maybe not this soon. In some ways, she was ready. The house was coming along nicely – most of it was refinished and usable. They had steady jobs and moderate income. She loved children. Playing with Jude’s niece and nephew had been a blast and she had to admit, it made her own biological clock tick a little louder. So it wasn’t that. Her reservations about this baby came with being the third wheel. Everything would change. What would her role be with a baby that wasn’t biologically hers?
“We need to start thinking names,” Q said, scooting closer to the fire with a little shiver. Jude had insisted on turning down the heat at night to save on the heating bill. It was romantic because it made for lots of cuddling and roaring fires, but cold toes in the morning wasn’t fun.
“We could go with the letter theme,” Jude offered. “Maybe X? Or Z?”
Q laughed. “No. The baby should have a real name. And nothing that can be shortened to any reproductive organs.”
They chuckled, then Jude looked at Sabrina. His smile faltered. “Come here.”
She scooted her pillow next to his. “What?”
“Something’s up. I know that look. You’re holding back. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
After a glance at Q’s worried expression, she wondered if she should tell the truth or give them what they wanted to hear.