Well we dreamed about it tonight and she woke up in a sweat, scared to death, then realized it was a dream – but it did happen in reality years ago.
Thursday is Thanksgiving – our greatest blessing is you and all that you are and we will thank God for you as we often do and ask Him to shower you with His blessings. We never met an Angel till we met you – we love you and appreciate you more than words of the tongue can say, God Bless you.
Gloria’s Helper
Later
Dear Adam, Hello,
God blesses you every day; I’m very impressed by all the work you’re doing. Happy Thanksgiving and bless you.
The Guardian
NOTE:
Here, Gloria’s Helper gave me the inspiration to shout with glee and jump for joy while clicking my heels as her decade’s old protective walls began to crumble and she started to tolerate remembering shocking traumatic memories and emotions as opposed to avoiding and denying them in protective amnesia and dissociation.
And her deep and profound insight that it was a “healing process” to remember her dreams and better for her to tell me about them. Now that she had found someone she really trusted who listened and believed in her, she could dare to face the truth—to face the monster in her nightmares, the “Other.”
To top it off like a hot fudge sundae dolloped with a cherry on top, I received a warmhearted pat on the back and good wishes from the Guardian who kept a loving eye on me and our progress.
AUTOMATIC LETTER 143
Thursday night
Hi,
Here we are again. I was just thinking of something that Gloria’s father said about inspiration, once – he said, “Don’t expect inspiration to be any stronger than dreams – you know how they are: you wake up feeling something very important happened to you – you reach out to it and maybe grab a hold of an image – by noon it’s hazy, by evening it’s gone – don’t let that happen to your ideas – keep a notebook.”
Well what he said about dreams is true – like last night we had an important dream about Gloria’s mother and a golden key and I went and forgot it – now I’ll keep a notebook and jot down important words.
We had the best Thanksgiving of our lives, it was like the magic of childhood – the whole family agreed on that – thanks to you for a lot of it.
Now about our dream of tonight – I see a room with green linoleum – it is nearly bare. The furniture is gone only black drapes – in the center of the room under a harsh spotlight tied to a chair much too large for her, is a little girl. She looks unharmed, her eyes are tightly closed, I can tell she is frightened and she looks so vulnerable tied to that big chair.
It’s a strange dream because that’s all I can remember of it, except that a man says, “We’re waiting for some more sophisticated equipment to arrive,” and Gloria woke up. Guess this is not much help will have to take notes or stop remembering don’t you think?
Gloria’s Helper
Continued
Hi again,
I just remembered something – the sophisticated instruments was ten razor sharp knives that the “Other” had – one knife for each finger – one knife for each toe because all the fingers and toes were different sizes he said – wish I hadn’t remembered – oh well it was just a dream and we have all ten members.
Me again
AUTOMATIC LETTER 144
Wednesday night
Hi, My Nice Person,
Tonight we had one beautiful dream where Gloria was about to fall in a large roaring river and someone pulled her back and it was Greyson (Gloria’s husband) and she asked, “How did he happen to be there?” and he said he was her Guardian Angel and would always be there. What a lovely dream.
Then I had another dream where there was a white house and hollyhocks were standing in front of the house like tall, thin, plant people and I went in using a golden key made like a heart – I went up to my room to take a nap when a little girl came in and said, “Guess what?”
I noticed a door near the stove that I had never seen before and I got up to see where it would go. It opened into a narrow passageway and at the end of the hall there was another door and when I opened that door, I was in a huge sunny room I had never seen before.
The walls were not yet plastered and I wondered why the room had never been finished. “And I was beginning to wonder if the little girl would ever be finished.” She continued, “It was such an interesting room with a great magnificent view of mountains – I found another door to the room and I opened it and found myself standing on a beach – there was a beach with roses all around it and a lady with three eyes set amongst them and smiled, she held a shell in her hand and handed it to me and I held it to my ear and heard no sound – she pointed to it and I saw the words “Ben Gay” and thought I was seeing “things” but then I found myself back near the stove – and the little girl said, “What do you think of that?” She stopped here.
I didn’t want to say what I really thought “of that” because I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of a nice little girl so I said, “maybe you had a dream,” and she said, “Oh no, you mustn’t think that or you’ll make a big mistake.” – “Ben Gay” I thought must be some man I’ll meet someday – I doubt that since Ben Gay is a medicinal lotion used for pain.
Well enough of our dream world. In case I didn’t tell you before – I sure appreciate your being here for me – thank you and God bless you for caring and sharing and letting me be me and share so much – see you soon.
Gloria’s Helper
AUTOMATIC LETTER 145
Sunday night
Dear Adam,
In my dream tonight, I heard a voice which said, “There you are Gloria dear!” and saw the Pyramid Lady’s face light up with pleasure. Tonight I caught a good look at her and caught my breath at her loveliness. Here is exactly the kind of unforgettable beauty that has inspired great poets and artists for centuries. No one could remain unmoved by it for long. And once again found myself entirely captivated by my friend.
She said, “I’m so glad I found you today. I was dying to see you again and to talk to you.” “Yes, so was I,” I responded. “It’s about the Little Lamp that I want to talk to you.” “I’m enjoying it so much,” said I. “Yes, but you mustn’t ever be afraid when you get visions during your meditation.” “I’m not afraid exactly but know visions sometimes have to do with mental problems,” I told her.
“Not in this specific case. These visions are mainly to enlighten you about the future. I’m very proud of the progress you and Adam are making and you don’t want anything to back you up, so don’t be upset by anything that happens out of the ordinary,” the Lady said.
Then she showed me a light that she had and it was there just like mine, and shortly after bade me goodbye and said, “We’ll meet again soon and I’ll put your worries at rest. Till then dear friend, God Bless,” and she disappeared.
I woke up wondering how strange this dream had been, her referring to the light as if she had known about it without my talking of it. How could she have known? Strange isn’t it?
Gloria’s Helper
AUTOMATIC LETTER 146
Saturday night
Hi,
Two little children are sitting on steps of a porch and they’re talking about running away. One of the children a girl is saying, “I’ve started to learn when he is on the verge of exploding. When we’re someplace, and his fingers start to move curling and uncurling, and all of a sudden the fingers stop it happens.” “That’s true,” the other answered, – “and after that happens some poor person is on the floor and the veins that have been bulging in the “Others” head, neck, and temples are gone and you couldn’t guess in a million years it had ever happened because he is completely at ease almost indifferent to where he is as if he had a secret that mildly amused him.” – “Yes and he is so quick, I’m very afraid of him, afraid to look at him and I want to scream at him.” “Are you crazy? How could you do that?” �
�But he would only ignore me or hurt me again.” “Let’s go away. I’m scared because I just realized something awful – his violence has little connection with anything we do, it comes out of himself without warning often when I least expect it and that is the spooky part.”
They stopped talking because the “Other” came out and asked if they were discussing him. He said to the little girl, “I’m sick and tired of you trying to control me.” “Please,” she said, “someone will hear you.” “I don’t care and don’t move,” he said. She saw his finger curling and uncurling, it chilled her and she started up the stairs but before she had gone a step, he was before her, “I told you,” he said. “Don’t move.” He was holding a pair of scissors, “you move and you get this.” There was a noise behind him – it didn’t make sense she thought – he didn’t use weapons just his fists and guns to scare – their eyes locked though and she knew he wasn’t kidding – she remained absolutely still – do not move a muscle she told herself – suddenly he said, “You moved!” It all happened in a blur. She felt the stab and then saw the blood spurting from her hand. She cried out – as soon as she did the door was jerked open and a neighbor who lived down the road grabbed a hold of the “Other” who said, “She ran right at the scissors crazy girl now she’s hurt herself and I don’t know what to do.” The neighbor made a tourniquet and asked the girl what happened, she was too scared to tell him and the doctor he took her to.
What was the use? No one would believe her because the “Other” showed such remorse and compassion and made it seem the way it had not happened.
Gloria’s Helper
AUTOMATIC LETTER 147
Thursday night
Dear Adam,
I’m all excited because tomorrow I’m going on a trip with the “Other” and he promised he’d see to it that we’d both be good – we’re going to an amusement park far away with a couple of cousins of his.
I see Napoleon and his sword is reaching toward my shoulder – a woman is giving birth to a baby – Washington and Lincoln are fighting a dual it’s getting darker and there are monkeys and tigers and lions all stuffed – he forgot me here and the man locked the door and all I can do is bang and yell – I can’t stay here all night with all those wax figures or I’ll go crazy – what am I going to do – too tired to figure it out – I’m going to sleep and yell in my dreams.
Me again – Gloria’s Helper
AUTOMATIC LETTER 148
Tuesday night
Dear Magnificent Brawny,
Tonight’s dream went back to the other night’s dream when the little girl was stabbed by scissors. There was one person who didn’t believe the “Other”. When the neighbor showed up from the hospital with the little girl, he was hardly inside the door when his wife tore into the “Other”. “There was no excuse for what you did,” she said, and added, “How could you actually stab her,” but the “Other didn’t respond – he told her to go home – and he walked right by her into the bedroom and lay down. It was as though he hadn’t heard what she was saying. The man showed the woman out telling her it was an accident and don’t get involved and they left.
The “Other” stayed that way for an hour or two staring at the ceiling, then he got up and yelled, “You moved,” and stuck needles under the little girls fingers till all were bleeding – then he went to stare at the ceiling again.
I’m retelling about this to forget it and because I understand something important tonight – the “Other” went into what was practically catatonic states often after that night. Can’t write anymore too tired emotionally. Sorry, I can’t help more but I’m so tired trying to figure it out.
Gloria’s Helper
AUTOMATIC LETTER 149
Sunday night
Dear Adam,
Do you believe the things that happen to you in a nightmare? The dream Gloria had tonight started out real good. She was walking with another girl and she told her, “I feel as if the world is about to open up for me and give me everything I’ve ever wanted. Only the secret word needs to be said and I know what it is.” The girl said, “but you haven’t said it,” and she replied, “Not yet, but I will.” They keep joking and walking till they meet this tall man and Gloria knows him and leaves with him. Here the dream changes and Gloria has now become a man and she and her male friend are both in the service in Korea and they’re in the middle of a battle, they’re with a demolition squad attaching explosives to a bridge and Chinese soldiers are coming in a train – they’re supposed to halt the train in the middle of the bridge then blow it up to prevent the other Chinese soldiers from coming across but as soon as they halt the train – civilians see the train stop and scramble to get aboard and they’re forced to blow up the bridge with all those civilians trying to get on the train, nearly all old people and children.
Gloria is very bothered about it! After, it’s all she can think about all those civilians they had to kill. Gloria (the soldier) is sitting on a rock not being able to eat when an Army chaplain comes to him and says, “It’s got to bother a man some, a thing like that but not so it gets in his way. I want to tell you about the principle of double-effect, in case you’re interested.” Gloria nodded yes. The priest said, “In many actions there’s the intended good effect and the unintended bad effect – if the intended good effect – say the blowing up of a strategic bridge – is justifiable, then the unintended bad effect – say the death of the civilians – can be considered moral.”
Gloria looked at him, “That’s it in a nutshell?”
“You don’t seem convinced. We we’re American soldiers, we think about what we do – we stake our lives on the difference of right and wrong. We bring men in who want to make a difference. That’s what this war is all about. You want to be a burp-gun with legs join the other side. You want to make good decisions even in the heat of battle, always looking out for your buddies, then stay right here.”
“I see what you’re saying Father but it doesn’t matter much to the people who got blown up.”
“We pray for the dead but we watch out for the living. It sure matters to your buddies that you didn’t leave them in the lurch for the Chinese to slaughter,” said the chaplain.
And then we were thick in the battle again, this time fighting Chinese dug in and hiding in mountain caves – it was pure hell!
I woke up in a cold sweat and have decided if Gloria ever goes to war she leaves me behind. It sure was one crazy nightmare – see you later.
Gloria’s Helper
AUTOMATIC LETTER 150
Wednesday night
Hi again,
What a nightmare we had tonight. Gloria and I went to a zoo – lots of people were there and then an announcer yelled, “Danger, all the animals have been freed and they haven’t been fed yet.” Soon everyone was gone except the two of us – we tried to run but our legs wouldn’t move – we noticed a strange thing though animals would come to us and move away. Gloria said, “They’re fussy about who they eat,” but her voice trembled as she spoke. Then we saw our lady with the three eyes standing by the entrance and she beckoned for us to go to her. We started to but a big boa constrictor blocked our way, we went around him and he didn’t make a move – then a large lion met us and let us go by him – the same thing happened with other animals till we reached the lady. She took us by the hand, patted our head and said, “From now on make sure the animals are fed when you go to the zoo,” and we all laughed with a shaky laugh – talk about nightmares and talk about luck at being helped out.
Gloria’s Helper
AUTOMATIC LETTER 151
Monday night
Hi again,
We’re in a doctor’s office – Gloria is a little girl of eight years old and he’s asking her about her dreams. The little girl tells him, “I was someplace black as night for a while. Then several small dots of light, like stars poked through until it was all light and I was peaceful and happy. I saw a child and I knew it was me.
I was running across
a field my feet barely touching and my father was there. He picked me up and threw me into the air and I was flying, happy, and excited and I could see all different lights and stars.”
The doctor said, “That’s enough to get you admitted to the Bellevue Hospital.” We didn’t know it was a mental hospital till we entered. Gloria said, “I thought you said I’d never be locked up again no matter what happened and here I am not only locked up but locked up in a nuthouse. Nothing ever changes.” I tried to talk to Gloria but she was scared to death. She said, “Once they get you, once they say you’re crazy, you never really get away.”
The room behind her was buzzing with the sounds of chattering, moaning, crying out, and shouting. As though each instrument in a huge orchestra had decided to play a different tune. Gloria covered her ears and big tears rolled down her face. Then she began to feel paranoid. Each time she saw a patient with a white-gauze wrapped head and an intravenous line coming out of his neck she’d tuck her own neck deep down into her hospital gown like a turtle.
She was sure soon they’d get to her head because it seemed that each time a new patient came within minutes they’d be taken upstairs to the operating room and then returned to the floor bald, bald and bandaged. She didn’t want her brain tampered with because she felt her brain was not only the site of her illness but also the tool of her healing.
She felt she could heal herself better than all those medical procedures. Outside it was getting blacker. The wind was blowing hard and it had started to rain. In the dusk, the bars of the windows of that big brick building made it look like a prison. I wanted that little girl out of their as soon as possible so I woke up Gloria.
Gloria Rising: A Story of Hope and Survival In Dark Evil Places Page 23