He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “For the past two months, every morning when I shave, I look at Dryden Kane in the mirror. It’s either take it or quit shaving.” He gave her a quick glance and a smile.
She didn’t smile back. She couldn’t manage to lift the corners of her lips if it meant her life. She focused out the window, on the street ahead. “I don’t think you look anything like him. Not really.”
Quiet hung heavy in the truck in the wake of her comment. No sound but the hum of tires on pavement broke the stillness. Cord stopped at a red light. She could feel him turn to her. “Are you sure you’re comfortable? You look wedged in.”
Comfortable? Not exactly. But her discomfort had little to do with the seating. “I’m fine.”
“Maybe Ethan should sit in the middle.”
“He’s sleeping. Besides I told you, I’m fine.” Even if he was awake, she didn’t want Ethan to sit in the middle of the seat. The thought of him anywhere near Cord made her stomach seize.
It didn’t make sense. She knew that. It wasn’t that she thought Cord would hurt him. Far from it. He’d saved their son. But she just couldn’t think of the two of them together, as if Cord’s path in life would rub off on Ethan if they brushed each other in the truck seat. It was risky enough to sit next to him herself. “Where is this place we’re going?”
“Along Lake Mendota.”
“Where exactly?”
“We’ll be there in just a minute, if that’s what you’re asking.” His gaze crowded her. His body heat filled the truck’s cab.
She glanced through the back window at the pile of equipment and towels crowding the truck bed and piling up the sides of the topper. She’d probably be more comfortable in the midst of that pile of junk than sitting so close to Cord.
She shifted again on the bench seat. “Is there plenty of room at this place? I mean, Ethan and I are used to living alone. We like our privacy.”
Cord’s lips settled in a resigned line. Turning his attention back to the light as it turned green, he accelerated across the intersection. “You’ll have plenty of privacy. Believe me, you’ll hardly know I’m there.”
She doubted that. Her body seemed to be in tune with his every glance, his every move. She’d felt that way since she’d first walked past him at the high school entrance, the quintessential bad boy leaning against a post with a cigarette dangling from his lips. Her obsession with him had only grown from there, until she was convinced she could change him, help him escape his desperate life. Until she really believed he wanted to get out of that neighborhood as much as she did.
Cord took the next left. The truck crested a hill and the lake opened before them, waves sparked by the moon and city lights. Against the dark gleam loomed the flat hulks of buildings.
Cord nodded to the shoreline. “Here’s the place.”
She scanned the structures ranging from three to six stories, jutting up from the shoreline. “It’s a building?”
“I promised a security system, remember?” He drove down the dead-end street until he reached the parking lot at the very end. Solid brick reached six stories into the sky. Black windows stared down at them like dead eyes.
“It looks vacant.”
“It is.” He brushed past her legs and opened the glove compartment. Withdrawing a remote, he pressed the button and the door to the building’s underground garage began to lift.
Her leg tingled where he’d touched. She gripped her thighs, digging her fingertips into her own flesh. She couldn’t wait for that door to open. Couldn’t wait to get into the building. Anything had to be better than sitting so close to him, the past teasing at the back of her mind. The worry of the present riding heavy on her shoulders.
As Cord drove into the partially underground garage, she twisted to Ethan and moved a hand to his thigh. It was time to wake him. She hated to do it, but he was too big for her to carry anymore, and she wasn’t about to let Cord do it. “Ethan? We’re here.”
His body jerked. A whimper caught in his throat.
She circled his shoulders with an arm and held him close. “It’s okay. You’re here with me, honey. You’re safe.”
He blinked and focused on her.
“We just need to go inside. Then you can go back to sleep.”
He nodded.
She hugged him close again. She could only hope and pray this would be over soon, before it took too much of a toll on Ethan. Or her.
The headlights illuminated dirt-tracked concrete and construction equipment. Cord pulled into a parking space next to an elevator door.
Melanie had the door open before he pulled his key from the switch. The garage smelled dank and cool, like new concrete. With three of them, it didn’t take long to load the supplies into the elevator. Melanie positioned herself between Cord and Ethan while Cord hit the button to the penthouse floor.
“What is this place?”
“It’s a contract of mine. High-end condos. They’re scheduled to go on the market the end of next week.”
“High-end? Why the camping equipment?”
“The units are sold as empty shells. The new owners choose how they’ll be finished.”
As an ex-convict, how would Cord have anything to do with high-end anything? “What is it you do?”
“I’m a window washer. Self-employed. That’s what all that gear in the back of the truck is for. Squeegees, drop clothes, buckets and towels. Shop-Vac. I do all the builder’s window cleaning and construction cleanup. I’m contracted to have this place clean before they start showing the units. And then again after the interior is finished. Construction dust can ruin a lake view, you know.”
The elevator opened into a cavernous space that smelled of chalky white drywall. On the far side of the room, black windows stared out at the lake. “You weren’t kidding when you said they were empty shells. What about that security system?”
He stepped to a keypad next to the elevator and punched in a series of numbers. “Now the elevator is locked. It won’t open on this floor. And if we want to see what’s going on in the lobby, we just hit this.” He hit a button, and the monitor above the keypad came alive with images of the main entrance.
“Why would they have a system like this if the condos aren’t even finished?”
“Vandalism. And there’s still work going on in the lower units. Construction equipment is valuable.” Cord glanced from her to Ethan and back. “If you want that privacy, you can try the area to the right of the great room. Eventually it will be the master bedroom.”
She nodded, but somehow her feet wouldn’t move. As uncomfortable as she felt being near Cord again, the thought of being alone terrified her.
“I’ll stay out here. No one will get near you.”
Heat tinged her cheeks. Dryden Kane might still be loose in the city, but he wasn’t here. He couldn’t hurt her, couldn’t hurt Ethan.
Thanks to Cord.
She handed Ethan two of the sleeping bags and picked up two cots. As her son started in the direction Cord had indicated, she met Cord’s eyes. “Thank you.”
His lips twitched into a frown. He waved off her gratitude.
“Really. Thank you for doing this. And for tonight. For saving Ethan.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Mel.”
“Yes, I do.” She couldn’t even think about what would have happened had Cord not shown up. He might have devastated her in the past. He might have let her down, let himself down. She could never truly trust him again. But he’d come through for her tonight. He’d come through for Ethan. And that was worth all the thanks she could give. “I really appreciate it. More than you can know.”
His lips twitched again. “It’s the least I can do. Don’t you think?”
“Mom?”
Shaken, she turned away from Cord, the possible meaning behind his words buzzing in her mind. “I’m coming, Ethan.” She hurried to catch up to her son.
The bedroom area was an empty shell of bedroom and bath a
nd closet space waiting to be allocated by walls. One end of the room opened into a solarium, the glass walls and ceiling filled with the swaying shapes of treetops rustling against a lighter sky.
She spread out the cots in the area farthest from the solarium’s black glass and unrolled one of the sleeping bags for Ethan.
“Mom?” Ethan opened his mouth wide in a yawn.
“Yes, honey?”
“Is it okay if I just go to sleep? I don’t have to brush my teeth or anything, do I?”
She was sure Ethan was tired. It had been a long day, and with all that had gone on, it was already past midnight. She also knew that he probably just needed to shut out the stress of the day. At least for a few hours. “I think you can get away with not brushing this once.”
She unzipped the sleeping bag a few inches and turned it back, trying to keep her mind occupied with making Ethan’s bed and not with Cord’s comment. She pulled out one of the pillows from the bag of supplies and dropped it on the cot.
Ethan climbed in. Pulling the sleeping bag to his chin, he closed his eyes. “Will you stay with me? At least until I fall asleep?”
“Of course. I’ll be here all night.” She sank onto her cot. Ever since Ethan was born, she had loved watching him sleep. But tonight she needed it. “Do you want me to rub your back?”
“No, that’s okay.”
She wanted to touch him. To hold him close. To convince herself he would be all right. She folded her hands in her lap.
Tears surged at the backs of her eyes, tears she didn’t know she still had in her. Swallowing hard, she forced them back.
“Mom?”
She hadn’t known he was still awake. “Yes, Ethan?”
“You don’t have to worry. Cord will keep us safe. I know he will.”
She’d like to believe that. But after Cord’s comment about this being the least he could do, she couldn’t help but wonder if somewhere in his mind he had an idea of what the most might be. And the desire to fulfill it.
Chapter Seven
Cord looked up from the cot where he stretched out, his chest bare. Thick lines of tattoos etched the contours of muscle and marred smooth skin. “Can’t sleep?”
Trepidation shot through Melanie. She’d spent the last hour listening to the gentle sound of Ethan’s breathing, trying to push Cord’s comment from her mind. But she’d had about as much luck as she was now having keeping her eyes off his bare chest. “What you said before was bothering me.”
“And what was that?” He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the cot.
“I think it would be a good idea to set things straight.” Crossing her arms over her breasts, she leaned back against the doorjamb. She needed the support. “You can’t suddenly step into Ethan’s life and be his father. He has a good life. He doesn’t—”
“Need me?” Cord rose to his feet. He crossed the room toward her. The shadows of individual windowpanes scrolled over his bare arms and chest as he walked, morphing and changing the tattoos. “I know. I don’t belong near a kid. I don’t need you to tell me that.”
“Then what was your comment about? That this was the least you could do?”
“Just that.” He stopped ten feet from her. “I’ll never be much of a father, and I don’t want him using me as some kind of role model any more than you do. But I can keep my son safe. I can kill Kane if he shows his face. You don’t need to thank me for doing the one thing I can. It really is the least I can do. I wish I could do more.”
She bit down on the inside of her lip. Maybe she shouldn’t have thanked him for saving his own son. But since she’d first learned she was pregnant, Ethan had been hers and hers alone. Thinking of him as also being Cord’s son would take getting used to.
She caught herself. She wasn’t going to get used to it. Cord wasn’t going to be in Ethan’s life long enough. “I’m sorry. But I’m glad we had this talk. I’m glad we understand each other.”
“We do.”
She lowered her lids and rubbed her fingers over her forehead, suddenly so tired she could hardly stay upright. It would be hard to get through these next days holed up in this shell of a condo with Cord, but she could do it as long as she knew that Cord would walk away when it was over. That Ethan would be okay in the long run.
And that she’d be okay, too.
When she opened her eyes, Cord was staring at her. The intensity of his blue eyes sparked a tremble high in her stomach. “What?”
He blew a derisive laugh through his nose and shook his head. “I’ve thought about what I’d say to you for the past ten years.”
She didn’t want to hear what he had to say. “Cord…”
“I rehearsed it. Honed it. Even though I never planned to actually say any of it.”
“I don’t think we should talk about this.”
“Why not? If Kane hadn’t included your name in his invitation, you never would have seen or heard from me. But he did. And I can’t pretend you’re not standing here in front of me now.”
“I don’t want to hear it. I can’t.” She turned, the need to get back into the room with Ethan almost overwhelming.
“Wait, Mel. Please. I need to explain.”
She held up a hand. “No, you don’t.”
“I want you to understand why I had to break my promise. Why I went to head off Snake that night.”
She shook her head. She’d avoided visiting him in jail for a reason. She hadn’t wanted to hear the explanations. She hadn’t wanted to hear the excuses. Once he started talking, she hadn’t been sure she could have walked away. And she’d had to walk away. She’d had to escape from that life. She couldn’t let her feelings for Cord trap her in a lifetime of violence and desperation.
The life her mother had lived.
She turned back to face him. “I’m sure you had your reasons. But that doesn’t mean I have to stand here and listen to them. All the reasons in the world don’t change a damn thing.”
“I know it doesn’t change anything. Believe me. I just—”
“You just what? Want to tell me what a good reason you had for killing Snake? I grew up in the same neighborhood, remember? I know what a scumbag Snake was. I know what he was capable of. I’m sure Detective McCaskey would have applauded you for what you did. Of course, he still would have thrown you in jail.”
“Snake was making noises about Leon. He went at Leon with a knife. I had to stop him.”
Of course he did. Cord had always been the leader of that rag-tag gang. They weren’t the Crips or the Bloods. They hadn’t killed people for points or run drugs. They’d been a mixed-race group of misfits that didn’t belong anywhere else. And Cord had taken care of them, protected them, bailed them out. “You should have let Leon take care of himself.”
“Leon? You must be joking. He wouldn’t have lasted ten minutes, and you know it.”
She held up her hands, as if she could block all of it with her palms and push it away. “Then Leon should have called the police.”
“You know that wasn’t an option. Not for Leon.”
“Or for you.” She blew out a strong breath and shook her head. Suddenly her anger and frustration seemed to burn out, leaving nothing but drab gray ash. Cord still didn’t get it. Not after all the years in prison. “I don’t think you did what you did for Leon at all.”
“What are you saying?”
“I think you rushed in to save Leon for your own sake. Just the way you stood up for the rest of the gang. Because protecting them, leading them and being worshiped by them made you feel powerful.”
Cord let out a bitter laugh.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing. I was thinking about Kane.”
She wasn’t following. “Kane?”
“He told me almost the same thing.”
“When?”
“Tonight. In the elevator before I got Ethan away from him.”
She leaned toward him. “What did he say?”
“That I was like h
im. That killing made me feel powerful. Like a god.”
A bitter taste filled her mouth. “Did it?”
He shook his head. “Killing Snake felt like I was killing myself.”
She let his words hang in the air, unsure what to say. His actions had killed her, shattered her heart, destroyed her dreams. Left her all alone to raise their son. But she’d survived. She’d risen from the ashes and brought Ethan with her. And she wasn’t going back to that place.
Never again.
“The gang didn’t make me feel powerful, Mel. You did. The way you used to look at me. The way you believed in me.”
Chills peppered her skin. She should probably feel more, but she didn’t know what. Not devotion. Not love, after all that had happened. Certainly not trust. She had gone through so much ten years ago. She’d loved Cord more than she’d thought it was possible to love anyone. She’d believed in him utterly. And he’d thrown it all away. “Then why, Cord? If my belief in you was so significant, why did you destroy it?”
He pawed a hand over his face and let it fall limp to his side. “I don’t know. I guess I just couldn’t believe back.”
She closed her eyes. She’d spent ten long years wishing things hadn’t happened the way they had. But wishing never changed anything. It was time she accept it and let go.
She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “That’s exactly why you can’t be around Ethan. I’ve brought him up to believe. And I want him to stay that way.”
SUZANNE BELLE PULLED off her boring old suit and blouse and tried to think of what the hell to wear. Friday night out with the girls always gave her wardrobe envy, a condition that her addiction to shopping never seemed to cure. Whatever she chose to put on, another one of the gang was wearing something shorter or sexier or just plain better looking—in short, something that garnered more attention.
Slipping off her utilitarian bra and white cotton panties, she opened her lingerie drawer and plucked out her favorite, the red lace bra that made her breasts look at least one cup size bigger than they really were. At least she had good lingerie. That was a start.
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