“Are you sure you’re up for this?” she asked between breaths, as my hands palmed her breasts. I pressed my pelvis into her ass to answer her question. My dick had a mind of its own that took over all functioning whenever Alexandra was around. I began to understand that when people said caring about someone made sex much better, it wasn’t just utter bullshit. I wanted to fall asleep inside this woman. When I was inside of her, she had me. She was the strength to my grip.
I slid my hands down her body to the top of her panties. I tugged on them, and she shifted so that I could pull them over her legs. My fingers went to her slit and she was already soaking wet, waiting for me. I slipped out of my shorts in record time and with some pretty impressive acrobatics, and then her hands wrapped around my dick. Pleasure pulsed through my entire shaft.
“You were pretty drunk last night,” she said, her legs parting slightly to give my fingers better access. “You said some interesting things.”
I nipped her shoulder. “Like what?”
“Like the fact that you told your friends about me.”
“I did.” I rubbed the head of my cock over her bare ass. “What else did I say?”
Her hands continued to stroke me and I pulled her hips back, positioning her.
“You, uh, also kinda mentioned that you were in love with me,” she answered.
It took all of my human strength to gently pull her hands away from my dick. As much I loved the erotic stroking of her palms, I knew that she was ready for me. Her clit was slick against my fingers.
“And?” I moved the head of my cock to her opening, teasing the crevice until my head glistened from her moisture. She ground her hips against me and it dawned on me that the box of condoms was clear across the room. It also dawned on me that I had no intention of getting them. She was mine now and I wanted to feel every aching inch of my pussy.
“I wasn’t that drunk, Alle,” I added. “I know what I said.”
My head parted her lips and she made a low, sexy noise that echoed all around us as I eased into her body. I was losing myself inside this woman, which I didn’t think was possible since I was already so far gone.
“I love you, Alle,” I said, pulling out just as slowly before stroking deep again. My dick was saturated and I groaned as I felt her warmth over every sensitive inch. “I’m in love with you.”
Now, when I say I fucked my woman, I mean I fucked my woman. I fucked her to the point of speechlessness. She didn’t even moan or cry out; our breaths in the air were joined only by the sound of the sheets ruffling beneath us. It was as though I was trying to resurface her pussy, claiming it so that she knew who it belonged to. Who she belonged to. Fuck, so she knew who I belonged to. I was hers in every aspect of the word. In the competition between retaining a little bit of myself and giving myself up to her completely, I conceded to her victory. She had me by every organ that I owned. She held me in the palm of her hand, which meant that she could easily crush me with a closed fist.
Now that the gate had been opened, everything came flooding out. I couldn’t believe the way that I felt about this woman; I’d had no idea that feelings like this were even possible. I was open, completely open, for the first time in my life.
Do you know how terrifying that is? It’s like crossing over an intersection and looking up into the grill of a runaway semi-truck. There was nothing that I or anyone could do at that moment to pull me back. She was made for me. She’d always been made for me.
Her breaths quickened and her hips began to rock. I was nowhere near climax; I wanted to make her come several times over before I even thought about release. I rubbed my finger over her clit and nipped the spot on her neck. Her moans finally broke through, quick and unapologetically loud, and she came with a cry that I was sure, if they were still at my place, Kellen and Tayler clearly heard.
Ask me if I cared.
I slowed so that she could ride out the waves and then moved to my knees behind her, pulling her up with me. I trailed my hands over her hips before I was moving inside of her again. I felt like a man gone mad with how much I still wanted her despite already being inside of her.
She buried her face in a pillow and cried out as orgasm number two began to build. When I knew that she was right on the edge, I pulled out and lowered to flick my tongue over her clit. Another loud cry, which also came with a moaning, “Oh my God,” rang from her throat as she came all over my tongue. I didn’t stop licking until she shuddered, then used my fingers to stroke her inside until she floated back down to Earth.
She was shaking her head, but her words were muffled by the pillow.
“What’s that baby?” I asked, trailing my fingers over her moisture.
“I want –”
I flipped her over and raised her hips. What they didn’t teach in med school was that the nerve endings from a woman’s clit extended into her walls. Angling her just right meant hitting the area that would slowly drive her into sexual bliss.
I pressed my cockhead against her opening. “You want…what?”
I slid inside of her and bit back a groan as her pussy tightened around my shaft. I started to pull out slowly, but she used her legs to pull me back inside.
“Please, Ethan.” Her lids flew open and I challenged her with my eyes. She knew what I wanted to hear. “Fuck me, Ethan.”
I slid in and out of her body slowly for what was probably the next couple of seconds, but the heat of her flesh against mine went straight to my head. I pushed myself deep into her body and watched her eyes to make sure that I wasn’t hurting her by giving her all of my length. She continued to use her legs to pull me deeper, and I gave up on trying to remain in control.
My dick was saturated by her excitement. Her moans were now coming in loudly as though she also decided to no longer care if our guests downstairs heard what was going on. I grew harder with each thrust and she continued to moan my name, breathlessly, which only made me fuck her like we hadn’t seen each other in years. I wanted to come, but I wanted to feel the grips of her third orgasm on my dick. I wanted to give her even more, but her pussy was made just for me: tight, wet, and warm. I wouldn’t be able to handle much more of her sweet torture.
She screamed my name as she exploded, and I couldn’t hold out any longer. I released inside of her body, almost roaring at the intense surge of pleasure that tore through me.
I hovered over her as our bodies descended, beads of sweat from my body dripping onto her stomach in a way that was almost erotic. Then, I lost the next few seconds in her irises before brushing my lips over her eyelids.
When she seemed to gather her bearings, she looked down to where our bodies were still joined. Her eyes suddenly widened and she pushed at my chest until I moved, hopped off the bed, and dashed to the bathroom, leaving me in the middle of sheets just as rumpled as my comprehension.
I walked to the bathroom door and knocked. “Alle?”
“I’m fine,” she called out, her voice thick.
“Are you crying?” I tugged on the door. “Alle, what’s going on? What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
Silence.
“Alle, open the door.”
She still made no effort to unlock the bathroom door, and I searched my mind to try to piece everything together to determine what had happened. It wasn’t an easy to do when dealing with women, however.
“I’m sorry about the condom thing,” I said. “I should’ve asked you first, but I figured that since you’re on the pill…” My words then slowly trailed off. I’d told Alexandra that I loved her, and that I was in love with her, and had yet to receive a response. Now, she was locked inside my bathroom, crying after sex.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I growled. “Alexandra, open this door.”
I stomped across the room, pulled on my shorts and sat on the bed. A few seconds later, the door opened. Her eyes were puffy, red and moist.
“Ethan, I’m sor—”
“What do you think this is? That I’m ju
st some dude that you’re fucking on the side? Is that what this is? Because let me know now and all of this shit, I’ll forget it.”
“I was going to—”
“I don’t even know what I’m doing.” I treaded my fingers through my hair. “I must be fucking crazy. You’re another man’s woman.”
“Ethan, you know that’s not the case.”
“I can’t believe that I was so stupid.”
I rose from the bed and brushed past her into the walk-in closet. My car was still at Chophouse and if Tayler or Kellen were still here, I’d just bum a ride off of one of them to get it.
“You might want to get dressed,” I barked.
She flinched and my chest tugged, but my pride wouldn’t let me buckle.
“I was going to talk to him, but then he hired a dance instructor for us to learn how to rumba,” she tried to explain. “Then, his mother called and said that his father had a heart attack. There was just too much going on and it didn’t feel right.”
I stopped. “Let me guess, couple shit?”
She flinched again. My pain was showing and I made no effort to try to hide it. But, I wasn’t only upset with her. I was pissed at myself. I was never supposed to be the man in this situation. I’d never before gone near an attached woman, but with Alexandra, I had no choice. I just acted. I was drawn to this woman and even in her betrayal, looking at her tear-stained face in my closet entryway still made me want to do whatever I could to make her pain go away. A painful erosion was causing a crater-sized hole in my chest and I was nearly buckling at the sight of her tears. A man like me was never supposed to fall in love. Love was turning me into a fucking psycho.
“Ethan, what do you want me to do?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Nothing. Get dressed.”
“So I can take you to get your car?”
“No. I’m going to ask Tayler. I think Kel needs to get his car too anyhow.”
A fresh set of tears made splotches on her cheeks. “So then, you’re asking me to leave?”
I made the mistake of glancing at her from the corner of my eye.
My defenses melted.
I couldn’t place all of this on her. My assumption was that I was asking her just to be with me, but it was much more than that. She had way more to give up than I did, but I was sick of waiting. I just wasn’t this man. I’d even had sharing problems in grade school. But, I needed reassurance that her words were more than just words.
“Alexandra, I don’t know what to tell you,” I said, defeated.
“I just need time.”
“I’m tapped out, Alexandra.”
I walked past her and back to the front room. I found her clothes folded on the chair near the window and brought them to her. She looked down at them and more tears formed.
“Don’t do this, Ethan,” she pleaded. “I just need time.”
“You’ll need these after your shower,” I told her. “When you’re done, I’ll hop in, we’ll have breakfast and then we’ll go visit my grandfather.”
Her beautiful eyes glistened and she rushed at me for a hug. I kissed the top of her head and an exhale treacherously spilled forth when her arms tightened around me. Like I said, she had me in the palm of her hands, but I was beginning to hate this shit. I wanted her to fall asleep and wake up with me. She’d already met my friends, was about to meet my grandfather, and I’d even considered driving to the Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women to tell my mother that I’d found someone who chose me. To understand exactly how big of a deal that was, I hadn’t seen my mother in the twenty-eight years since I left Baton Rouge.
“Just remember that, in all of the effort not to do something because it didn’t ‘feel right,’ this doesn’t feel right either,” I told her. “I don’t know how you feel about me, but I’ve told you as much. I won’t wait forever.”
Yet, something told me that even if I didn’t want to wait forever, it was inevitable. I wouldn’t ever find this again.
I gently released her grasp and left the room.
-----
Alexandra
Ethan’s pain and disappointment resonated inside of me. I could feel every ounce of the hurt visible in his eyes, but I’d still been weak and stupid. Fucking stupid. All this talk about being free and finding myself was complete bullshit. I was still the same scared, meek, and controlled Alexandra that I’d always been.
My feelings for Ethan were clear as polished glass, and yet I couldn’t even open my mouth to tell him that I loved him simply because it was a step I was too afraid to take. I yearned for this man and felt a connection to him that terrified the hell out of me. He was it for me. Point blank. It was something that I just knew, although I didn’t know how.
He made a good job of saving face over breakfast with Kellen and Tayler, who happened to be an excellent cook. For breakfast, she made us fried eggs over white rice with a side of plantains and café con leche. I followed Ethan’s lead, laughing and smiling as though nothing had gone down in the bedroom, but he was solemn again by the time we were on the road. We didn’t speak during the entire ride to his grandfather’s assisted living facility.
The facility was more upscale than some of the other facilities that I’d seen around the state. The entrance reminded me of walking into a ranch-style home with its dormer windows, quaint porch, and stone accents. It certainly looked to be a step up from how Ethan had described his grandfather’s old home.
We parked in the front lot and Ethan hopped out, walking ahead of me without tossing a glance over his shoulder. I didn’t blame him for being upset; I knew that he was hurting. I was hurting too. I would have given anything to make the situation easier. I wanted to be with Ethan, but I’d tricked myself into thinking that I was strong enough to withstand the same treatment from my family that Gia received. I loved my sister, but I was not entirely sure that I could handle not having their support.
Inside, the facility was just as beautiful. I’d envisioned living facilities to be mundane institutions with white walls that smelled of bleach, and imagined the sound of squeaky wheels moving down never-ending, linoleum hallways. This place was carpeted and had a modern, urban feel to it. Everything was painted in soft colors, and there were signs directing residents to a fitness center, theatre room, and banquet hall. I could only imagine how much it cost to live there, but with the way Ethan credited his grandfather with “saving his life,” I got the feeling that he would still willingly pay the fee even if it meant that he’d have to go penniless.
“Hi Dr. Stewart,” a bubbly, auburn-haired woman at the front desk greeted. She wrapped chubby arms around Ethan’s shoulders and her green eyes looked over him like a mother checking to make sure that her child was eating while away at college.
“Hi Maureen,” he replied. “How have things been with you?”
“Wonderful.” Two deep dimples appeared in her cheeks. “Bryce just got accepted into the LSU School of Medicine, so we’re happy that he doesn’t have to go too far from home. Thank you so much again for your letter of recommendation.”
She finally noticed me standing behind Ethan and her smile grew even wider.
“Oh, who do we have here? Is this her? Is this Alexandra?”
I suddenly felt both miserable and giddy at the same time. There I was, ready to do cartwheels because I found out that Ethan had been talking about me, but the moment was squashed by our earlier argument. The one that I’d caused.
“Hi,” I greeted, extending for a handshake. “Alexandra Miller.”
She bypassed my hand and pulled me in for a hug. Her embrace reminded me of eating warm chocolate chip cookies underneath a fleece blanket.
“So good to finally meet you,” she said. “Even though he tries not to, you should hear Ethan go on and on about you. You put light into those misty grey eyes of his. We were wondering when he would finally bring you by. For as long as I’ve known Ethan, he’s never introduced a woman to his grandfather—”
“Who we’d
be glad to see right now,” Ethan jumped in. “At least, now that you’ve thoroughly embarrassed me.”
Maureen swatted at him and walked from behind the desk. “Nonsense. Women love to hear that the men in their lives have been talking about them to others. It means that even when you’re not together, he still has you on the brain.”
We followed her out double glass doors and through a courtyard before we entered what I presumed to be the living quarters. The front entrance reminded me of a chic hotel lobby with its recessed lighting, decorative plants, and lounge area. There was even a very large, completely filled bookcase along one wall. A man in a wheelchair sat reading in the lounge with a checkered blanket strewn over his legs.
“He’s been reading all morning,” Maureen said, gesturing to the man.
“So, today is a good day then?” Ethan asked.
“It has been so far.”
He thanked her and, for the first time that day, took my hand as we walked over to where the elderly man sat. The man was reading Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The House of the Seven Gables, and the corners and cover were tattered and worn as though he’d read it several times over the years.
“Pick up your feet son,” a voice rumbled. Although now feeble, it had a resonance that suggested that it could once carry across long distances. “You can start fires with the way you drag your shoes across carpet.”
Ethan laughed and reached in for a long hug while I stood off to the side to watch the moment unfold. I also wasn’t sure what would be the appropriate way to greet the man. Technically, I was meeting the family. With an unknown father and incarcerated mother, this was it for Ethan.
“I don’t drag my feet,” Ethan protested.
“I should’ve nicknamed you matchbook.” The man glanced up at me, his eyes like two robin’s eggs. “And who might you be, gorgeous?”
“Hold your horses, old man,” Ethan warned. “She’s mine.”
A flurry was set off in my stomach, traveling outward and down the lengths of my limbs. Possessiveness was usually a turn-off for me as it had been used to control my life from my father, who’d sure-handedly extended the baton over to Roderick. Yet, the way that Ethan had automatically asserted his claim over me in an “I’ll do anything to keep her in my life” way rather than an “I own her” way, left me in a temporary state of paralysis.
Fated: An Alpha Male Romance Page 13