Holly heard his knock at her door and made one last appearance check in the mirror. The fact that Jerry saw through the exterior to the woman inside proved how special he was.
For someone who had said they were going to make up, Jerry seemed awfully quiet. Holly figured he was probably still a little embarrassed about some of the things he had said to her the other night and decided it would be best not to talk about it at all. Instead, when they got back to her apartment, she would show him that he had been wrong about the depth of her love.
Needing an injection of courage, when they stopped by the fraternity house after the movie, Holly indulged in several glasses of wine, something she'd never done before. On the way to her apartment, Jerry was slightly more talkative, but his conversation centered on the team's chances of winning the championship that season. With her head buzzing from the wine and preoccupied with building up her nerve, Holly barely heard what he was saying anyway.
At her apartment door, she put her key into the lock and was about to turn it when he stopped her.
"Wait a minute," Jerry said, as he brought her hand up to his lips for a quick kiss on her fingertips. "There's something I heard about in psych class that I want to try. You'll have to really trust me for this to work. Can you do that?"
She laughed at how serious he looked. "Of course I trust you, you know that." He let out a breath he must have been holding until she answered. It made her stomach flutter to know she had the power to make him nervous.
"Good. The theory is that if someone loses one of his senses, like his eyesight, his other senses become more acute, or at least the person learns to tune in on them better. You know, like how a blind person seems to hear little things you or I might not notice."
"Yes, I know what you mean." Holly angled her head a little, waiting to find out what he had in mind, and wondering why they couldn't go inside for this conversation.
"Well, there's a, um, what was that word? Oh yeah, he's a pa-ra-psy-chologist. Anyway, this guy believes that if our ability to communicate with our usual senses was eliminated, we would learn to use mental telepathy."
"Hmmm. I don't know about that."
"C'mon. Try it with me. It'll be fun. Who knows, you and I have gotten real close. Maybe we could read each other's minds if we did what that guy said. Unless you're afraid of the dark."
Holly stifled a laugh. It suddenly occurred to her that this was probably an elaborate ruse to sneak past her defenses, including the traditional challenge to her courage. What Jerry didn't know was that the joke would be on him, since she was already bent on surrender.
"Okay, but there's something important I wanted to talk to you about."
"You could have talked to me for the past hour," Jerry grumbled. "Sorry. I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I have this, uh, paper due and... well, if you don't want to help—"
"You don't need to pout, honey. We can play your game and we'll talk afterward."
"No. I mean, not tonight. We'll talk tomorrow. Once we start, neither of us is allowed to use our voices or turn on a light for the rest of the evening. No talking, no humming, nothing." He pulled out a white handkerchief and shook it loose of its folds. "I'm going to blindfold you until we get inside. I figure we can use your bedroom since there aren't any windows in there, and then I'll take the blindfold off. Ready?"
Holly nodded her head and smothered another laugh. Did he honestly believe she would fall for such a harebrained excuse to get into her bedroom and throw her off balance? He was just lucky his plans went along with her own. Later she would tell him he hadn't fooled her for a minute, but for now she'd let him think he was terribly clever.
He removed her glasses and handed them to her. Without her glasses the world became a murky place, but she was accustomed to dealing with that shortcoming. The instant he secured the makeshift blindfold around her head, however, a surge of panic welled up inside of her.
She felt the keys being tugged from her clenched fist and had to force herself to relax. The lock clicked back into its chamber. A slight puff of air blew into her face, notifying her that Jerry had pushed the door open. This experiment could prove to be interesting after all, she thought. Jerry grasped her hand to guide her.
"Oh, wait," Holly said, thinking of the bottle of wine in the fridge that would help them both relax. His fingers pressed lightly on her lips, reminding her not to speak aloud. Forget the wine.
The game had begun.
It was her apartment; she should have been able to maneuver around the few pieces of furniture without difficulty. Instead, she found herself taking shuffling steps and clutching Jerry's hand tighter than necessary, as he led her into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
As promised, he slipped the blindfold off with his free hand. It made no difference whatsoever. Her eyes were open, but there wasn't a single speck of light.
Remembering her glasses, she pulled Jerry further into the room, until her knee nudged the bed. Feeling her way along its edge, she was able to locate her nightstand and place her glasses in their assigned position. Only once before had she failed to be so careful, and the result was an inch-by-inch, two-hour search of the apartment. Some lessons were learned the hard way.
A slight pressure on her shoulder suggested she sit on the bed. The mattress bounced again as Jerry settled next to her. Lifting the hand he was still holding, he pried her fingers loose one by one then shook her wrist until she let those fingers dangle. Holly giggled softly. She had not even realized how tense she was. A deep slow breath helped but his comforting touch unwound her the rest of the way.
Jerry's fingertips found her face and slowly traced each of her features. When he outlined her lips and paused there, Holly understood he wanted a kiss. This game was more familiar and she flicked her tongue out to lick his fingers. His response was two taps on her nose. Behave?
From her nose he moved to the center of her forehead and tapped again. Apparently he wanted to try the experiment in earnest.
Holly concentrated on the one thing she had been thinking of all day. Perhaps he could read her thoughts, because his fingers grazed her scalp then trickled through her long hair to the ends. She heard him inhale slowly and guessed he was smelling her hair by the way the strands moved along her cheek.
Her own fingers followed the trail of her hair to where it ended at his nose, and she drew a picture of his face with gentle hands. The tiny stubble on his jawline revealed his beard had begun to sprout. It struck Holly that, although Jerry's intentions may not have been completely honorable to begin with, this experience of seeing without sight was one she would always remember.
He sat very still for her loving exploration. His breathing was so shallow, she could barely hear it. He seemed to be waiting for her to decide which direction this game would take. So she did. Keeping her thumb on his mouth for guidance, Holly leaned forward until her mouth contacted his. Her kiss was sweet and he responded in kind. In the past Jerry had always been the aggressor, making all the first moves. Could she take the lead, tonight of all nights?
Holly kissed him again as she closed the small space between them. Her hands moved to the back of his neck and pulled him closer. He parted his lips and teeth when her tongue asked for a deeper kiss. Yet still he remained passive.
Her stomach contracted when she realized he wanted even more from her before he would act. Perhaps the experiment was working because she was sure she knew what he wanted her to do.
She moved her hand to his shoulder and traveled down his arm to capture his hand. Slowly, trembling inside with uncertainty, she brought his hand to her breast and held it there, until he kneaded the flesh on his own. Relaxing his fingers a moment later, he rotated his palm over the tip with a restrained patience he had never before exhibited. Holly sighed as she felt her nipple harden for him. His sound of masculine approval melted into her mouth and the pulse between her legs sprang to life.
This much she had permitted before. She needed to show h
im he did not have to stop this time. Her hand shook slightly as she searched for the buttons on his shirt, clumsily opening them from collar to belt buckle.
Jerry removed his hand from her breast and lay back on the bed, as if to say, Do with me as you will. She pushed the shirt aside and discovered the thick mat of springy hair on his chest. She had never seen him shirtless and was pleasantly surprised by what her touch learned. Hard muscles reacted to her unskilled movements. She had not known a man's nipples were as sensitive as a woman's but his flinch and the tightened nubs quickly educated her and made her smile confidently in the dark.
Holly suddenly understood why Jerry had planned the game. In the darkness she could do things she would never dare if she could see him watching her. Her cheeks warmed just imagining it but she was greedy to know more of his secrets. Her nerve was bolstered when his sharp intake of breath followed her stroking of his flat stomach. She moved her hand lower and lower still.
Through the thickness of material and zipper she found the part of him that she would soon welcome into her body. She straightened and shaped him beneath his slacks, and felt his sex grow in length and breadth. She firmly shut out the knowledge that this would be an instrument of pain before the pleasure.
After a moment he moved her hand away, gave it a reassuring squeeze and got up off the bed. The rasping sound of a zipper being lowered echoed through the room, formally sealing her fate. Other sounds inspired her imagination. In her mind Holly saw him removing his shirt, slipping off his shoes, and discarding his trousers and underwear. She supposed she should do the same but couldn't bring herself to be so nonchalant about it.
Jerry's hand brushed her arm then, grasping her elbow, he helped her rise. She felt the heat radiating from his body as he brought her close for another passionate kiss. His male scent would have warned her of his fierce arousal even if his erection had not been pressed against her stomach.
He proved quite adept at undressing her in spite of the lack of light and in no time he was lowering her nude body onto the bed. His hands kneaded her generous curves as his mouth loved one breast then the other. The pounding heartbeat in her lower body grew stronger and she felt the dampness of desire accumulate.
She almost felt relieved when he moved his heavier weight onto her, pressing her into the mattress. His breath was coming in short, erratic puffs in between urgent kisses on her mouth and neck. Holly had planned to savor her last virginal minutes, to memorize each wonderful sensation, but his actions suddenly became hurried, almost desperate, and she was so swept up in his passion that she didn't dwell on her innocence.
When he pushed her thighs apart and the tip of his shaft nudged at her opening, she instinctively bent her knees up along his hips. She could not prevent her soft gasp or the tension that invaded her muscles, but her own lubrication made his progression velvety smooth—until he struck her natural barrier.
He stopped. Rigidly holding himself on his elbows above her, Holly absorbed the fact that he was struggling for control. He hadn't known she was a virgin!
She could feel him pulling out and clenched her unpracticed vaginal muscles. It was not the game that kept her silent now. She did not want to have to say this aloud. Her hands ran down his back and grasped his buttocks, holding him in place. She pressed wet kisses on the shoulder above her face and arched her back in an effort to make him continue despite his discovery.
A moment later he pushed forward, breaking through her membrane in one determined thrust. Holly relaxed as soon as she realized the pain was slight and quickly diminishing. The novelty of having him inside her was worth the temporary discomfort. But he didn't seem to notice her tension or subsequent acceptance. Plunging to her depths was all he had on his mind. A few jerky movements and he collapsed on top of her with a muffled groan.
That was it? All the love songs and whispers in the girls' room were about that? Holly's body was achingly unsatisfied. She knew there had to be more to this business of making love. Perhaps she needed more experience to reach the mysterious climax as fast as she was supposed to. Or perhaps—Jerry lifted himself up on his elbows and took a deep breath. He was still engorged and throbbing inside her and she didn't know if she wanted him to go or stay. Taking her finger in his hand he used it to draw a cross over his heart. He was promising something.
"What—" Quickly his hand covered her mouth. He still wanted to play the quiet game.
He had her make another cross then stroked her sensitized flesh. He was promising it would get better.
And it did. Before he began again, he repositioned himself so that he was on his knees with her legs wrapped around his waist and his fingers performed the climactic service she required. A soft cry escaped her throat as her whole body shuddered its relief.
She heard his muffled chuckle of masculine triumph and thought it was over. But his hands and body began to stroke her inside and out and waves of pleasure lapped at her again. This time, she knew what her body strived for and had no trouble grasping the orgasm when it approached.
A short while later, when he wordlessly showed her how to use her hands and mouth to make him ready for her again, she was anxious to learn everything he had to teach her.
This was what it should be like, this closeness, this shared passion was worth any sacrifice she had to make to be with Jerry forever, from this moment on.
Holly couldn't actually remember falling asleep but her internal alarm told her it was morning. God, she was sore, but at the same time, she felt marvelous. She was certain no other woman had ever had such a unique introduction to sex. They would probably still smile about it on their fiftieth wedding anniversary. That thought made her want to make love to him all over again.
Stretching luxuriously, she felt Jerry stir beside her. As she did first thing every morning, she reached for her glasses and switched on the lamp.
Holly turned back to wake her future husband with a kiss, and froze.
The dark-haired man lying naked in her bed was a complete stranger.
Chapter 5
"Excuse me. Miss? You'll have to stow your briefcase under the seat for landing."
Holly blinked at the flight attendant hovering over her and the world came back into focus. Her insides were quivering and her upper lip was damp with perspiration. She should never have allowed herself to fall asleep.
When she had first gone home from Dominion, she constantly escaped into sleep. For a while it worked to keep her from thinking. Then the nightmare had come and she stopped sleeping altogether.
It had been several years since the dream had last haunted her, but she should have known that recalling the details might bring it back. It always started the same, in the dark, feeling terrified of something she couldn't see and trying desperately to find a way out of the room she was in. Then a light comes on and she sees what had her so frightened. Occasionally it turned out to be an animal of some sort, a snake or giant spider. Sometimes it was a grotesque monster. Once or twice, it was the face of someone she had seen on television before she went to sleep.
Most often, however, she saw a mutation of Tim Ziegler, as he had looked that morning in her bed.
As the plane taxied down the runway at the Greater Pittsburgh International Airport, Holly hoped that April was right—that this visit would be a step toward eliminating the nightmare permanently.
She fought off the feeling that automatically came over her every time she returned to the old house. Tonight, she couldn't allow her personality to regress back to that of the shy, overweight girl with glasses she used to be. Tonight, she needed all the maturity and confidence the years had given her to apologize and explain why she had been so hateful all those years ago.
Back then, the sheer helplessness of her situation had her searching for someone she could safely strike out at. Her parents' fear of losing her made them the perfect target. Somehow, in the aftermath of trauma, Holly had decided they were at fault. She had determined that their overprotectiveness had kept her
naive enough to believe in Cinderella stories and fall for Jerry Frampton's lies. Knowing the truth of why they were so protective of her made her behavior toward them that much more unforgivable.
Bernie and Viv Kaufman had originally been blessed with three holiday babies. Their son arrived on Lincoln's birthday, so he was named Abraham Lincoln Kaufman, nicknamed Link for obvious reasons. Seven years later Holly was born on Christmas Eve and two years after that, a week after Easter, Viv delivered Bunny.
Bunny was nine when her life was stolen. She and her father had been walking her new puppy when she accidentally dropped the leash. The little dog dashed into the street and Bunny took off after it—right into the path of an oncoming car. Before Bernie even knew what his baby's fate was, he caught the puppy and broke its neck.
Holly remembered the awful funeral, her mother crying continuously for months, and the subsequent move to a different neighborhood where they wouldn't have to look at the street day after day where the accident had happened.
While their parents grieved, Link enlisted in the marines and was sent to Beirut. A month after he arrived, the marine headquarters was bombed causing the greatest casualties the corps had ever endured in peacetime.
Bernie had never fully forgiven himself for failing to prevent Bunny's accident, then he blamed himself for Link's enlisting the way he did. Instead of withdrawing into grief once more, though, he focused all his love and attention on the one child he had left—Holly. And she had thrown that love back in his face rather than trust him to be supportive.
Her parents were already waiting for her when she pulled the rental car into their driveway. No sooner did the headlights shine into the living room window than the front door opened and they hurried out to greet their little girl. Holly always wondered how two people with their excessive girth managed to have so much energy. Other than her father losing his hair and her mother's blonde hair turning white, the years had barely taken a toll on them.
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