by Vella Munn
“I can’t ask you to—”
“You aren’t asking. I’m offering.”
“What kind of technique?”
He at least had her interest. In some respects her reaction reminded him of Shadow’s. If he said or did what she perceived as a threat to her safety, she’d bolt. If he was smart, he wouldn’t touch her barriers.
Tonight he wasn’t smart.
“I can’t describe it. I’ll have to show you and I’m not going to do it out here.”
She rotated her head. Then she groaned and her nostrils flared.
“Oh, for crying out loud. I’m talking about a deep tissue massage. I promise not to steal your jewelry.”
“My so-called jewelry isn’t worth the effort. All I have are a few necklaces I bought to remind me of places I’d been.”
“Well darn it. I might have to rescind my offer. Are you sure you aren’t a closet billionaire?”
“I’m a little short of that amount. Besides, I don’t want to be a billionaire.”
“Me either. I can’t count that high. Do you think it’s all right if I leave my truck here?”
“That won’t be a problem but are you sure you want to do this?”
He thought about patting her arm only to hold back. He’d offered to tend to her sore muscles. They weren’t going to have sex, nothing close to it. But running his fingers over her flesh would be a world away from easing his mother’s aches. Not giving away the fact that Kolina intrigued him in ways he didn’t understand wouldn’t be easy, but he had to try.
As for why he hoped to keep his purely physical reaction to himself, it came down to not wanting any relationship that went more than surface deep.
Right?
Right.
Chapter Six
“I still envy you for having decent carpet and a roof that doesn’t leak,” he told her a few minutes later when they were in her kitchenette. “But I’m not sure your place is any larger than mine.”
As soon as they’d stepped inside, she’d headed for the kitchen counter where there was a small plate. She slid her fork into a mound of cottage cheese and brought it to her mouth. “Hard to tell,” she said after swallowing. “Those single wides are narrow but they’re longer than this place.”
“But you can turn around without bumping into a wall. Don’t tell me that’s all you’re having for dinner.”
“I’m not sure.” She took another bite. “I’m running low on food but don’t have a day off until Tuesday.”
The resort had a grocery store of sorts that mostly catered to visitors. If someone wanted junk food they were in luck but that was about the extent of it. Resort employees shopped when they were off the mountain.
“Can’t you grab something from the restaurant?” he asked. “Slip it in your pocket?”
“How can you suggest such a thing? I’d never—oh, thanks for the reminder. Somehow a couple of tomato slices wound up in my refrigerator.”
He chuckled as she opened the refrigerator door. Then he concentrated on her every move as she speared the tomato slices and placed them on top of her cottage cheese. Maybe in rebellion after all the balanced meals he’d prepared for his parents, he’d been eating a lot of food that came out of boxes or cans. Suddenly a salad seemed wonderful and one she’d prepared even better.
He’d already decided he wanted her to sit in one of the two easy chairs in the living area because they were high enough that he could work on her from behind. Her shirt’s neck opening might not be large enough for him to get his hands under it but he’d deal with that when she was done eating.
She looked at him, her eyes seeming to say she wasn’t sure how he’d gotten in here. He’d hoped her hesitancy about letting him into her place stemmed from wondering why he’d offered to work on her and not concerns for her safety. The walls between the units weren’t very thick. A cry from her would bring immediate help, not that she’d ever need protection from him.
Kolina Childs had once made her living as a truck driver. The woman knew how to take care of herself so why did realizing she lived alone bother him? Part of his concern came from acknowledging how close the wilderness was. Hopefully she had the sense not to go out too far, but the forest called to her. It was possible she could get lost or hurt.
Not that it was his business.
“You’re staring,” she said. “What are you thinking?”
Not going there. “I’m again trying to imagine you behind the wheel of a tractor-trailer,” he hedged. “Did you travel all over the United States?”
“Back and forth, up and down.”
“Unbelievable.” He turned his attention to the window.
There was a football field sized space between the row of kitchenettes and the resort’s main building. Outside lights illuminated the resort but not the mountains, the trees growing next to the road, or even the parking area. As far as he could tell, no one was about this cold evening. Just them.
“How do you feel about living in a construction zone?” he asked as he settled himself on the stool next to the one she was using.
She put down her fork. Their knees were close but not touching and warmth bridging the scant space. “It’s interesting and noisy. Crowded a lot of the time. I’ll be glad when the remodeling is over and I can focus on the mountains instead of trying to stay out of the way.”
“You really do love mountains, don’t you?”
“Absolutely. Fortunately Montana has an abundance of them.”
“I can’t argue that. I went to college out of state, southern California. Now that was a different world.”
“You went to college?”
“Two and a half years. I hadn’t settled on a major.”
“Why did you quit?”
I had no choice. “Several reasons.”
She frowned. “College is so expensive. Hopefully you can go back and finish, if that’s what you want.”
I’m not sure it matters. “Do you have something loose that buttons down the front you can change into before I get started?”
Still looking at him, she slipped her finger under her neckline and tried to reach for the end of her shoulder. “Good idea,” she said and got to her feet.
Because the living room and kitchen was a single space, he was able to study her until she shut the bedroom door behind her. She’d done nothing to indicate she was thinking about having a man in her space, hadn’t accidently touched him or let her gaze linger on his body. Why then was he so acutely aware of her absence and the essence she’d left behind?
Like he didn’t know.
*
There was a man in the next room, a man who would soon place his hands on her, a man who didn’t want to talk about why he hadn’t stayed in college.
Feeling disconnected from the person she believed she was, she rummaged through the few clothes in her closet until she found one of her two flannel shirts. She pulled off her work shirt and slipped into the multicolored fabric that looked like something a lumberjack might wear. She rolled up the sleeves but instead of heading back to where Terron was waiting, she went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her straight hair had nothing going for it, her eyebrows were too bushy, and her lips too pale. Oh well, it wasn’t as if she wanted to impress him.
Or did she?
A man. In her space.
His body silently speaking to hers.
“That should do it,” he said when she joined him. “The shirt’s loose all right.”
A tingle she hadn’t felt in years brushed her already alerted nerves. She should have fastened the top buttons except he’d have to undo them and that might prove awkward.
What did she mean, might?
“I don’t like clothes that confine,” she said.
“That shouldn’t be a problem with what you’re wearing. Is it a man’s?”
She reached for the hem that came nearly to her knees. “Yep. I’m not a fan of the fabric in many women’s shirts. It is too flimsy. A
lot of men’s clothes are more practical.”
“I’ll take your word for it. All right, I want you to sit there.” He pointed. “I’ll stand behind you.”
You don’t have to do this. She nearly told him but they’d already been down this road. Besides, she wanted to experience, not just an easing of the ache in her shoulder, but how his hands felt on her flesh.
Being a woman.
Awareness of him as a man stepped up another notch. It took one more leap when he positioned himself behind her and rested his callused hands on either side of her neck. She shivered.
“Try to relax.” His breath warmed the top of her head and started sliding south, making her shiver even more. “It’ll take a while for the tension to leave your muscles. Let it happen.”
She thought he’d start doing whatever he intended. Instead, his fingers remained motionless on her flesh as he told her about the muscles, tendons, blood vessels, and bones in that part of her body. She was impressed by his knowledge, even thought about asking why the words came so easily to him. His voice was low and easy, hypnotic almost.
She suspected his tone was deliberate, part of massage therapy 101. Well it was working, slowing down her thinking and loosening her entire body. He was a man with the ability to make her think and even laugh and hands capable of building a dog house in a few hours, but he was more than that. Somehow he’d connected with her body, taken control of it. She had no reservations about placing it under his care.
Maybe she would tomorrow but not tonight.
Reality slipped to the back of her consciousness as she imagined herself standing in a room dominated by a king-sized bed. The coverlet was pulled back, the sheets exposed. A man—Terron—stood on the opposite side of the bed. He was naked from the waist up and white shorts hugged his buttocks, sheltered his erection but didn’t hide his condition from her. They were here for one reason, one that didn’t need words.
“So tell me,” he said as his finger pads pressed into the hollow above her collarbone, “what, for you, is the best part of being at Lake Serene?”
Stay in the real world! Don’t lose control again. She worked to bring moisture to her throat. “It’s hard to say. I love how the lake keeps changing. Sunsets and sunrises can be spectacular.” She paused. “I’ve taken a ton of pictures of the moon reflected in the water.”
“So have I.” He started a gentle rocking motion using the heels of his hands. “I spent a lot of time trying to get close to the ducks back when the chicks were small, but the parents are pretty protective.”
“I bought binoculars, but even with that it was nearly impossible to track the little ones. They move so fast.”
“Made you dizzy?”
“Sometimes.” Thinking to relax her muscles and thus her mind, she slumped lower and closed her eyes.
It probably would have worked if she could dismiss the reality of who was tending to her. She’d forgotten the impact a man could have on her. The reawakening of her awareness of herself as a sexual being surprised her. Instead of wanting back the sense of being in hibernation, she embraced the change. Feeling alive was good.
Tonight.
“So,” he said after a short silence, “it’s the lake that does the most talking to you?”
His fingers moved in slow waves, seemingly going deeper with each pass. Fortunately it didn’t hurt. Maybe eventually she’d feel him in her toes. How would she handle it when the sensation reached her private places?
“I guess,” she said. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
He sighed. “I’m not sure either. I have the feeling I’ll never forget Lake Serene.”
She understood what he was getting at. The mountain lake and land around it had a seductive quality. Maybe it was the area’s ever-changing quality and the impact the seasons made. Maybe it was knowing humans could never take the wild out of it.
“Do you think about that?” he asked. “Of course you do.”
She struggled to bring herself back to holding up her end of the conversation. “What are you’re talking about?”
He placed his thumbs against the top of her spine and pressed. “Guess I have to be more specific. I’m seriously considering the offer of employment through the winter. They’ll probably still need me come spring but eventually they’ll have to let me go. Maybe I’ll never see this place again.”
The thought of leaving the Lake Serene area twisted her insides and made her heart ache.
“What happened?” he asked. “You just tensed up. Did I hurt—”
“No. I just—hearing you talk—it’s such a beautiful area that…” That maybe I want to stay. Plant roots.
“Maybe it’s more than that.”
What was he saying; that he believed there was something otherworldly about the area? The wilderness was awesome, and sometimes intimidating because there was so much of it. There was the remote possibility that one day she’d come around a turn in a trail and see a wolf but, at the moment, Lake Serene consisted of rocks and trees, sky and lake, Mount Lynx standing guard over everything. Nothing else.
“You think I’m crazy?” he asked.
“Oh, no, I never—”
“There you go tensing up again. I got distracted thinking about what we did or didn’t sense when we were at the top of the inner tube run. It was probably Shadow. Back to my question. At least I think I asked it. Are you going to miss living here or are you ready to move on?”
There was no way he could know that not long ago she’d been waiting for her ingrained wanderlust to call to her. Most of the time that would already be happening.
“Hopefully it’ll be a great winter for the resort,” she said. “Lots of people coming to enjoy the snow and consequently eating in the restaurant. I might be overly optimistic but I’m thinking I could make enough in tips by spring to buy that new vehicle.”
He slipped his fingers under her shirt and started walking them up and down her spine. “Your shoulder might not hold up that long.”
She tried to look back at him, but he was directly behind her. How had she gotten herself into this—intimacy? “What makes you say that?”
“You have a lot of swelling here.” He prodded where just a minute ago his fingers had been gentle. Hot knife points of pain made her gasp. “I’m sorry, but I needed to make my point. Your muscles and tendons are inflamed. There’s extra heat there. Every time you carry weight the way you’ve been doing makes it worse.”
A little scared, she tried to think how she might change how she worked but she’d already tried everything. More to the point, she didn’t want to think, just experience.
“Lean forward a little. I promise I won’t jab you again. I can make you feel better temporarily but my semi-professional opinion is that your waitressing days are coming to an end.”
Don’t say that.
Even as she mentally argued with him, she couldn’t deny his point. She had found a way to support herself after she’d realized she could no longer drive a truck. She’d once more find something, just like her mother always had.
Something that would take her from Lake Serene and the sense that, maybe, she belonged here.
That Terron might as well.
“All right,” he said as he lightly stroked where she’d been hurting the most. “What other job skills do you have? Could you work in an office?”
“Staring at a computer all day? No thank you.”
“What then?”
“I don’t suppose you’ll need help blazing snowmobile trails.”
“Probably but strenuous physical work is the last thing your shoulder needs.” She tensed as he rolled the heel of his hand over the base of her neck, but there was no pain. “Try to relax. This won’t hurt. At least the manual says it won’t.”
“I am trying.”
“I know you are. I’m thinking that’s the problem with being an adult.”
“What is?”
“Having to be responsible for feeding and housing ou
rselves.” He moved his hand a little, touched new nerves and something else inside her. “If there’s something to this reincarnation business I think I want to come back as a horse.”
She chuckled. Right now being with him was easy. “One that spends his life in a pasture? What tastes better, grass or hay?”
“Neither. Unfortunately. I could go for carrots and apples but would prefer cake.”
“What kind?”
“Hmm. Chocolate.”
“Not vanilla?”
“That, too. So if I was a horse and you were my owner, would you make sure I had regular doses of chocolate and vanilla cake?”
“It depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether you promise to never buck or kick.”
“That depends on whether the cake has butter icing.”
They didn’t speak for the better part of a minute. She was at peace with the silence. In many respects they were at the same spot in their lives. She’d been joking when she offered to help him clear trail but spending her days bundled against the cold with snow falling all around appealed to her. Terron wasn’t a doctor but he probably could speculate on what her shoulder was capable of. Maybe he’d give her a list of jobs to consider, open up her thinking.
She slipped lower in the chair, couldn’t begin to pull herself together enough to straighten. He was working wonders on her body. A little more and she’d start snoring.
No, she wouldn’t, she admitted as his hands continued working their magic. Feeling like a woman was such a rare sensation. She’d experienced those sensations when she was with Brian, loved them most of the time. Then he’d lost his life and she’d discovered the only way she could survive was by not thinking about what she’d lost.
Being in love had taught her too much about her failings.
Brian was part of yesterday. This was now. A now she didn’t know what to do with.
Too complicated when she wanted nothing more than Terron’s fingers on her shoulder—and other places.
“So.” Terron drew out the word. “What do you want to be in your second life?”
His voice. Easing into her thoughts. “You aren’t being fair. How do you expect me to think while you’re doing what you are?”