by Vella Munn
“All right.” She wasn’t sure she believed him.
He swept the beam from left to right while chanting Shadow’s name. When he disappeared, she rubbed her right arm through the brace while continuing to call to the dog. She didn’t dare take many steps because the drop-off was so close. Despite the just-appearing stars, darkness was tight around her. Even though she could still hear Terron, she’d never felt more alone.
She wasn’t the only one. Shadow had to be experiencing the same all-encompassing black. The dog’s senses were keener, but was that enough to keep him from getting lost or injured? He could have left the path and taken a chance on crawling up or sliding down? Would they have heard him if he’d lost his footing?
What if the wilderness swallowed Shadow, never to let him go? He’d search for a way out this prison until he collapsed. His belly empty, his throat dry, and his paws torn, he’d rest his muzzle on his outstretched legs and whimper until he could no longer do that. His cries to the human who’d put a collar on him would go unanswered.
He’d die alone.
“Shadow! Please, please. I’m here. Shadow!” Terron, find him!
*
Kolina’s fear-laced voice stopped Terron in mid stride. He’d been so intent on trying to find the dog that he hadn’t given enough thought to what she was going through. Clearly she was barely holding on. His family had had a number of dogs while he was growing up so he knew how scatterbrained they could be, but she wouldn’t relax until the mutt had returned.
Him either.
There was a turn in the trail a few feet ahead. There’d be another after that followed by yet another. He could continue to walk until the trail became so steep surely Shadow would change his mind about taking this route but that wasn’t the point. Shadow had to have heard them calling. If he wanted to rejoin them he would have.
If he was able to.
Fighting fear he didn’t want to acknowledge, he reluctantly turned around. He trained the light on the damp ground directly in front of him and noted the marks his boots had left but saw no sign of dog prints. He’d been deluding himself into thinking he was doing the right thing by following the trail when the truth was he hadn’t been able to think of anything else to do. At least his footprints helped him deal with the all-pervasive darkness. They stood as proof that humans could make their way in this part of the wilderness. Maybe more to the point, the marks didn’t belong to a cougar or wolf.
The word wolf was haunting him when he spotted Kolina standing in the middle of the narrow path. She was rubbing her restrained arm while looking so alone his heart went out to her. Much as he was tempted to, he vowed not to hand her empty words of comfort. They’d both see through the lie.
My fault. I pushed you to let him go.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”
“No, you did right. I needed to stay here only…” She wasn’t meeting his gaze. “We can cover more ground if we split up.”
“Which we aren’t going to do with only one light. It wouldn’t be safe.”
She gripped her throat and leaned back as if trying to distance herself from him. “Also because of what might be out there.”
Say it. Don’t evade or pretend you don’t know what she’s talking about. “I didn’t see any predator prints.” Concerned she might fall apart now that the word was out there, he came closer but stopped before invading her personal space. Keeping his distance was easier on him. “And we haven’t heard—”
“Just because a wolf doesn’t howl doesn’t mean it isn’t around.”
“I’m talking about Shadow.” It wasn’t the complete truth.
“What you’re saying is he hasn’t cried out, which he would if he was being attacked.”
No, she wasn’t going to fall apart. She had the strength to keep from plunging over that emotional cliff. Any other time he would have applauded her resolve, but he hated what she was going through too much. He wanted to continue to call and look for Shadow except he’d only be putting off the inevitable.
“We have to go back. Staying here won’t change things.”
She let go of her throat. When her hand became a fist he wondered if she was going to slug him. Guilty as he felt, he didn’t blame her.
“No,” she said after a long silence. “It won’t. Besides—maybe he’s on his way home. He’ll be there waiting for us.”
And if he isn’t?
Chapter Fifteen
Terron’s lungs burned as Kolina and he stood not far from the empty dog house. They’d already checked so knew Shadow wasn’t on her porch. Maybe he should suggest they see if the dog was at the restaurant, but as far as he knew, Shadow hadn’t gone back there since Kolina started feeding him. The depth of his dread and disappointment had him off balance. He hadn’t known he’d care so much for Shadow; had thought he could remain objective. He couldn’t, but now wasn’t the time to tell her.
Leaving him, she approached the structure he’d built. She looked so incredibly alone, an echo of the motherless child who’d longed for someone to embrace her. He’d never pity her but, darn it, she deserved better than this.
Deserved someone who hadn’t let his personal history rule his words.
When she leaned down and reached into the opening, he understood her need to check for the impossible. He positioned himself behind her. “Let it go. Come morning—”
“I can’t leave.”
“What? You can’t spend the night sitting out here.”
“Darn it,” she snapped. “That’s not what I’m talking about. I have to stay at Lake Serene.”
“What about your job?”
“I don’t care about it!”
“Not now of course but after we’ve found Shadow—”
She twisted around and stared up at him. Thanks to a couple of porch lights, he could see her in ways he’d been unable to while they were in the wilderness, but he wished he couldn’t because she looked so profoundly sad. She wasn’t buying his stupid attempt to comfort her and probably wanted nothing to do with him.
“Let’s go get warm.” He held out his hand.
After studying it so long he started to draw back, she placed her left one in his and let him help her to her feet. As soon as she was upright, she pulled free.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Is that what you want me to say?”
“I don’t care.”
As she climbed the stairs to her place, he was again struck by how solitary she appeared. He wasn’t sure what, if anything, he could do to change that. Probably nothing since to her way of thinking he’d done enough damage. He couldn’t argue the point.
Not long ago he’d been looking forward to only being responsible for himself, but a great deal had happened since then. He wasn’t sure how he felt about anything, not that it mattered. Only one thing did. Shadow wouldn’t be missing if he’d kept his mouth shut.
She didn’t seem to notice he’d come inside. She stood in the middle of the too-small living area and stared out the window. Because he’d learned to shut down his emotions while dealing with his parents’ failing health, he returned to that place while he removed her coat and directed her toward her chair. Because she was shivering, he turned up the electric heat.
“It isn’t going to rain is it?” she asked after a long silence. “I don’t want him to be wet.”
“No rain.” He wasn’t sure that was true.
“But it’ll be cold. He’s used to having a warm place to sleep. How could I have been so stupid? I shouldn’t have let him off the leash.”
It took effort not to tell her to make him the enemy, but he didn’t because she might order him to leave. He’d have no choice but to comply with her command.
Leave her alone.
“It isn’t too late to call Alisha,” he said in an attempt to redirect her thinking a little. “Let her know there’s been a change of plans but you’ll hook up with her as soon as you know something about Shadow.”
&nb
sp; “Something?” Her gaze settled on him for the first time since they’d come inside. Her hollow eyes cut through him. “You think he’s dead don’t you.”
“No. Kolina, I don’t know any more than you do. Right now the possibilities are endless.” None of them good.
“I hate wolves. Loathe them. That’s what scares me the most, the thought of that damned beast getting Shadow.”
Let her talk. Don’t allow her to keep things bottled up. “For all we know the wolf’s no longer anywhere near Lake Serene.”
Hope flickered in her eyes only to die. “When I got the call about Brian being in an accident, I clung to the word accident. I told myself since what he was driving was bigger than almost everything else on the road, he was in better shape than the other driver. He hadn’t called because law enforcement was interviewing him. Maybe he was at the hospital waiting for word about someone who’d been injured.”
He knelt beside her chair and rested his hands on her knees. She didn’t react.
“I couldn’t think of anyone to call,” she continued. “The only people I was in contact with on a regular basis were other truckers, but I couldn’t put my mind on how to reach them. Then the owner of the company Brian was driving for showed up. He didn’t say much, just told me he’d take me to the hospital.”
She unbuttoned her shirt and started tugging at the brace’s straps. “I can’t stand wearing this any longer!”
“Wait. Let me do that.”
“I—all right.”
She paid no attention while he removed her shirt and freed her from the brace. He draped the shirt over her shoulders. Much as he needed to hear the rest of her story, he wouldn’t ask. Maybe she’d forgotten what she’d started.
“Do you want a blanket?”
“What?” She closed then opened her eyes. “No. I knew the owner was holding something back. Suspected what it was. The whole drive—it took us a couple of hours that lasted forever to get there—I mentally replayed everything Brian and I’d done together. I, ah, he’d asked me to marry him.”
“Had he?”
“I’d told him I wasn’t ready, but that night I vowed that if he was still alive, I was going to propose.”
“Why didn’t you want to get married?”
Her laugh was harsh. “It’s pretty simple. Shouldn’t take a shrink to figure out. My parents had struck out in that department. Mom couldn’t commit to a man. She couldn’t even commit to me.”
“Don’t say—”
“It’s the truth.” Her attention shifted to the window, and she shuddered.
What had been the attraction between Brian and her, core things they’d had in common? Kolina was a young and vibrant woman. She might not agree, but she could have her choice of men. Maybe she’d been drawn to a man who represented the father figure she’d never had.
“How does your shoulder feel?” he asked because it didn’t look as if she was going to expand on why she didn’t believe she was ready to become a parent.
“All right. Do you think Shadow’s collar might have gotten caught on something?”
The image of the dog struggling to get free chilled him. “I doubt it. You hardly ever hear of that happening.”
She gripped her forearms with both hands. “But the woods up there are so thick and it isn’t a regular collar.”
“We’ll go back in the morning. First light.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.”
“Kolina, I want to stay here tonight. I think I should.”
She studied him. Asked questions without saying a word.
“I don’t want you to be alone.” Me either. “The recliner will work.”
She shook her head. “You won’t fit. You—”
“I’ll be fine. I’m not going to let you give up your bed.” And we aren’t ready to share it.
Instead of responding, she started moving her injured arm about. When she winced, he stepped behind her thinking to massage the back of her neck. The moment he touched her soft flesh, he knew he was risking his sanity.
Don’t think. Just give her what she needs.
See if that’ll ease some of your guilt.
“Do you think we can get others to help?” she asked. Her tension hummed just beneath the surface.
“We shouldn’t have a problem. I’ll call Rey, see how many he can spare tomorrow.”
“Do you think that’s all the time we’ll need?”
“Hopefully,” he answered when she must know he couldn’t make any promises. “Shadow’s belly is going to rule him. He’ll come looking for the woman who’s been feeding him.” If he can.
*
To her surprise, Kolina had nodded off shortly after her head touched the pillow, but she’d awakened around one and spent the better part of an hour trying to ignore her alarm clock’s illumination. She was relatively comfortable as long as she remained on her back. Her shoulder protested every time she tried to change position, but that wasn’t what was keeping her awake.
One minute she was trying to envision where Shadow might be, the next she wondered whether Terron was replaying their time together in the wilderness. It was easier to think about the man than the animal—the man she’d told so much about the only time she’d taken a risk on that thing called a romantic relationship.
The man who’d talked her into letting Shadow go.
Groaning under her breath, she threw back the covers and sat up. She worked her way to the edge of the mattress and lowered her feet to the floor. The room was cool but not cold.
By sticking out her feet, she found her slippers and slid into them. Going after her robe in the closet seemed like too much work. Fighting a thousand thoughts, she went to the bedroom door and opened it. Because the kitchen and living room were basically in the same space and light from the microwave clock reached the edges, she had no trouble spotting the masculine form.
Terron was too big for the recliner. His legs sprawled, and his shoulders were being compressed. At least, judging by his slow breaths, he was asleep.
She slipped through the opening and leaned against the door frame. When she realized she was timing her breathing to match his, she remembered doing the same when they were in the wilderness just a few hours ago.
As everything she’d shared with Terron bombarded her, she spun on her heels and returned to the room that had become her prison. She’d climb back under the covers, shut down her brain, and go to sleep. She wouldn’t wonder what Shadow was doing or whether he was afraid. If he was still alive.
Wouldn’t ask herself if blaming Terron would make things easier.
Wouldn’t waste time regretting being so open.
Not tonight anyway.
Chapter Sixteen
When Nate heard that Shadow was missing, the resort’s plumber and Alisha’s fiancé suggested searchers check all around the trail Terron and Kolina had been on in addition to the trail itself. Echo’s plan called for her hiking cross-country from the resort up to where Shadow had last been seen. Now that it was light, it was possible the dog was trying to find his way home via what instinct told him was the most direct route. Because he was expecting the delivery of some solar panels, Rey couldn’t join the search but in addition to freeing up several of his workmen, he gave Terron the keys to the newest ATV.
There wasn’t room for both Terron and Kolina on the ATV. Besides, as she told him, he’d need what little extra space there was if he found Shadow injured. If he’d guessed she didn’t want to be close to him, that was his problem. Having to get ready with him under her roof had been hard enough.
She nodded in agreement when Terron explained he intended to head for the highest elevation the ATV could handle. Then he’d scan the mountain using the powerful binoculars Henry had loaned him. As Terron took off, jealousy assaulted her. Everyone except for her had a task. Determined not to spend the day doing nothing except waiting to see if Shadow might return on his own, she called Echo.
“Two sets of eyes are better th
an one,” she told Echo who hadn’t yet left. “You’re going to be in pretty rugged country. If something happens to you—”
“What do you have in mind, piggyback me home if my ankle gives out? Aren’t we a pair? Between the two of us, we have one functioning body. Look, I know you’re going crazy. Shadow recognizes your voice, doesn’t he?”
“I hope so.”
“So do I. If you think you’re up to what might turn out to be a day-long hike, I can be at your place in about five minutes.”
“I’m up to it,” she exclaimed and said good-bye.
As she waited for Echo, she put on her hiking boots. She wasn’t sure about being able tie the laces but got it done, after a fashion. She didn’t want to put on her brace but not only didn’t she want Echo to nag, her shoulder needed to be protected.
Last night Terron had removed the brace with her barely noticing. He’d spent the night under the same roof but hadn’t touched her before taking off, not that she’d wanted him to. Now that he was gone, she wished she’d explained that fear for the first living being she’d gotten close to since Brian’s death was the only thing she could think about.
First? She had feelings for Terron. She just couldn’t make sense of them.
At least this morning’s clouds didn’t have the dark and heavy quality that went with a storm. Between daylight and no fog, maybe she could accomplish what Terron and she’d been unable to last night, namely find Shadow. She’d hold onto that possibility as long as possible.
Echo showed up with a backpack that held a couple of sandwiches, water, several hot dogs, and a first aid kit. “I hope we won’t need the kit,” she said, “but we have to be prepared.”
Kolina added the hamburger patty she’d chosen to try to tempt Shadow and offered to carry the pack part of the time.
“We’ll see about that. Today is really going to test that shoulder of yours.”
“I don’t care. What about your ankle?”
Echo stabbed a finger at the ankle she’d shattered while running from a forest fire. “It’ll do what I tell it to.”