by T. A. Foster
It wasn’t that I didn’t know what he wanted. I knew. I felt it. I saw it. He promised he wouldn’t mention the magic again. He wouldn’t ask questions or try to pry into the part of my life that was secret.
Last night, I felt as if I were asking too much of him. He wanted answers, but I couldn’t give them to him.
Why I chose now to trust someone, I don’t know. But when I was with him, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted him to try to kiss me again. I wanted him to hold me so I could hear his heartbeat. I wanted to stare at the blue in his eyes and forget that everything else in my life was dark. But he didn’t make a move. He let me walk out of there every time.
I pushed the fries around in the basket.
“What’s wrong? Bad grilled cheese?” Vix asked.
“No, it’s good.”
“Then besides the end of the world nearing, what’s wrong? Zac?”
I blew into the air. “That’s too complicated right now.”
“From what I saw, it looked pretty simple. He’s all about you.”
God, I wanted to be all about him, but it was too much of a distraction and certainly too dangerous. Case almost killed him once.
“I don’t want to talk about Zac. Ok?”
She shrugged. “All right.”
“My focus is the Nox right now. You all are what matter most to me.”
“We know that, Dare. You don’t have to prove it. It’s ok if you have fun from time to time. If the world is going to end, do you want to be the one girl who said she never had a life?”
“Of course not, but I can do life later. The Nox need saving right now.” I sucked on the end of the straw, shaking the ice in the bottom of my cup. “I think I’ve been so focused on protecting what we have that I’ve forgotten what it is I need to do.”
“I’m not following.” She chewed a mouthful of fries.
“The Nox. Case is going to keep moving Eva and Tegan. We’re chasing our tails trying to find them. Ian can’t keep up. We’re going about this the wrong way.”
I heard the short order cook shout that a burger was ready.
I continued. “When I first started this crusade against the council, I was looking for other girls like us,” I whispered over the table. “And once we had the Nox, I stopped. I focused on us, instead of building our territory. I stopped my mission too early.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need to recruit more. We need to up our numbers.”
“And how are we going to get more girls right now?”
I whispered across the table, “I’m going to track down some more she-panthers.”
“You’re going to leave town in the middle of this?” Her eyes widened.
“I’m going to build an army.” I shoved the basket out of my way. “I’ve let things distract me. I should have been doing it all along.”
“Where are you going to go?”
I looked at her. There was one place I could attack. A place that would catch Case off guard. Somewhere he would think was out of my reach.
I grinned. “Tennessee.”
I didn’t like leaving Sullen’s Grove. It seldom happened. The last time I left, I brought Maya back with me. She was from Virginia. It was safe to say my travel radius was short. That’s part of my oath to the city. I can’t protect if it I’m gone.
Vix promised she’d ditch her dates with Jason as long as I was gone and she would patrol nonstop. Maya had dedicated herself to Abi’s recovery. They were tucked away in the lair. And with Holly’s cloaking spell, I knew it was a safe place for them to sleep.
I planned to drive straight there, roll into Tennessee by nightfall, spend the weekend building the Nox, then be home before Monday.
I called Zac from the road.
“Hey.” He answered on the second ring.
“Hey. I’m headed out of town for a few days.”
“Out of town?” My heart sank at the disappointment in his voice. “Did something happen? Are you ok?”
“I’m fine. It’s just a road trip. It’s for class. I’ll be back by Monday, but I wanted you to know so you wouldn’t worry.” All of this sounded stupid. I wanted to tell him what I was doing.
“Should I worry?” he asked.
“No. I promise I’ll be fine.” I hesitated. “I’m sorry I’ll miss our training.”
“I’ll miss it too.”
“Can we do it when I get back?”
He laughed. “Sure.”
We lingered on the line. I wanted to say more, but the connection was bad. He started to sound like a robot, and I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t sound confusing.
“I’ll call you later. The signal is really bad.” I hit end, tossed the phone in the passenger seat, and focused on the road.
I had six hours of driving ahead of me. I turned up the radio. The girl sang about riding off into the sunset with the love of her life. The lyrics were about magic and fireworks, a love that consumed her.
When this ended. When I took out the Tribe. That was when I would be able to think about the future. That was when I could let love in. Yeah, I wanted that. I definitely wanted that. Right now, I still hoped Zac wanted it too.
I pulled into a motel on the outskirts of town. Case had told me he was from Clint. There were so many lies he told, this could be another, but he was proud of his territory. I was certain this was a truth in the sea of deception.
He revealed the council had given him the order of his marriages, starting with me. I was lucky wife number one. That meant, if there was a she-panther in the area, there was a good chance she wasn’t married. Case would keep his territory clear of any encroaching shifters.
Clint was a lot smaller than Sullen’s Grove. It seemed like the kind of town where people knew their neighbors. People waved as they passed by.
I opted for dinner in a diner on the corner near the motel. I had to wait for nightfall before I could start tracking the woods. I had made record time.
I sat in a booth near the back of the diner. The leather seat bounced as I slid to the center.
“What can I get you, honey?”
I looked at the waitress standing ready to take my order.
“I’ll have a tea and a grilled chicken sandwich.” I handed the menu to her. They had a lot of my favorites from Cartwright’s. I wished Vix were with me on this trip.
I looked up. “I’ll get that right out to you. Holler for Shayla P. if you need something.”
“Oh, is there another Shayla here?” It wasn’t a common name.
“Yes. I’m Shayla Paulson, but there’s a Shayla Maddox who has the tables at the other end.”
“Did you say Maddox?” I almost spilled the water she had placed in front of me.
“Yeah. Down there.” She pointed, and I sank at little lower in the seat.
It was possible there were multiple people with the same last name in this town, but I could see her. Her hair pulled back in a bun, wisps of gray running over her ears. And she was delicate with her movements. Deliberate with how she arranged the silverware on the tables. There were other girls I knew as graceful as Shayla M. I watched, my mouth turning dry.
“Honey? You ok?”
I nodded at Shayla P. “Yeah, I’m good. But maybe I could get my dinner to go?”
“I’ll box it up for you when it’s ready. Be right back.” She moved on to the next table where a couple was struggling to get their toddler to stop throwing straws.
There was always the chance Case didn’t talk to his mother anymore. Now that she was non-magical, no longer a shifting she-panther, she might not know what was going on in her son’s life, but I couldn’t take that chance. I slid my sunglasses perched on my head back to my nose and held a discarded newspaper to my face.
I didn’t know how I was going to walk out of this diner without her knowing what I was. She may have lost her magic, but she would know another panther. My mother said it was the one thing she had left after I was born. It was the onl
y piece of her shifter side she recognized.
“Here you go.” Shayla P. brought my ice tea in a Styrofoam cup. “Your order will be right up.”
“Thanks.” I smiled.
I wouldn’t be able to duck out of here until Case’s mom went to the back. The longer I observed her, the more I was convinced she was the woman who had given birth to my worst nightmare. The only thing I was worried about right now was making it out of here without her having information that could tip off Case.
Everything about my plan was built around the element of surprise.
She greeted everyone who came through the door. Helped an older gentleman with his jacket. Rearranged the menus in the front bin.
“You can pay Shayla M. at the register.” My food was wrapped in a white plastic bag.
“Can’t I just give you some cash?”
“She has the receipts.” My waitress was suddenly less helpful.
I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. It more than covered the meal. I slapped it on the table. “I don’t need a receipt.”
This might be my only chance. Case’s mom had turned behind the counter and was talking to someone in the kitchen. I bolted out of the diner. I didn’t look back. I didn’t bother to see if she had seen me. I pulled out of the parking lot and drove back to the motel.
The leaves crunched under my paws. I had wandered through the forest for hours and hadn’t picked up anything. I was starting to think my idea wasn’t going to work. Maybe there weren’t panthers here anymore.
My ears twitched. I heard a hissing sound behind me. I was careful to turn around slowly. I didn’t know what kind of shifter I would be facing.
My eyes landed on a thin, lanky she-panther. She had fine brown lines on her legs. Her eyes glowed green like mine.
“Who are you?” She growled.
“Take it easy.” I tried to calm her. “I’m Dare. I’m not here to fight you. What’s your name?”
She didn’t adjust her posture. Her front paw was cocked, positioned so she could pounce. “Bey. What are you doing here? This isn’t your territory.”
“I know. I’m from Sullen’s Grove. I was hoping to find other she-panthers like me. Are there more of you in this area?”
Her eyes narrowed a little less. “I’m the only one in this territory. But I know a few. Why?”
This was normal. All my conversations with the Nox started this way. Panthers were territorial. They would fight to kill if it meant protecting their land.
“May I sit?” I asked. I hoped it would take the edge off. I had no interest in attacking her.
She nodded.
“I know this probably seems strange. Well, I don’t know what it seems like, but I’ve come to find you, hoping we could help each other.”
“I don’t need help. I take care of my territory.”
“I’m sure you do. I didn’t mean to imply anything.” I watched as she walked back and forth, tracing the same path. “I’m here as the Queen of the Nox. I’m here on their behalf.”
“Queen?” she snarled. “There’s only a king in this region. And he’s not really the type who shares.”
“I know.” I had to be careful. There was no telling what type of brainwashing Case had done. “The Nox are different. We’re a special band of she-panthers. We help each other. We stick together.”
She was listening so I continued.
“Look, we all have the same thing in common. The Nox do. We don’t want to give up our panther life. We don’t want to marry whom the council matches us with. We don’t want to have cubs and give up our magic. That’s what this is all about. We want to make our own choices. Live the lives we want.”
“Good for you,” she snarled. “What are you doing on my land?”
“Do you know the king, Case Maddox?”
Her ears twitched before she could steady them. “Case? Yes, I know him. His territory borders mine. This will all be his region.”
I smiled. It was exactly the scenario I was hoping for. “I’m supposed to marry him.”
She finally sat on her hind legs. “So, you’re wife number one.”
“It sounds like you know a lot about him. Are you in his line up too?”
“Number four.”
“Tell me. Do you want to marry him? Be his freakin’ fourth wife?”
Her tell flicked. “No, but it’s not like I have any options.”
“You do have options, Bey. You can join the Nox. You can be a part of something. Help us take out Case and his tribe. You don’t have to adhere to some ancient ridiculous tradition. You should be able to decide if you want to get married. Decide if you want to give up your panther side.”
“You’re going to defy the council?”
“Yes. We already have. I’m not marrying him. And neither are my friends. But we need numbers. He has kidnapped two of the girls as hostages until I agree. One girl he tricked into bonding with another in his tribe. We need more she-panthers to stand against him. We can’t do it alone.”
“How many others are there?” She finally sat and settled next to a tree.
“There are seven Nox. You would make eight. I’m hoping to recruit some others before I return home.”
“Have you faced the council yet?”
“No. I don’t think I should have to. I’m a queen. The magic has been in my family for generations, probably like yours. It should be my choice what to do with it.” I could feel the tenseness in my words. Just thinking about the council irritated me. I didn’t want to get into all those details with Bey. I only needed her support for our mission.
“I realize this is out of the blue and I’ve trespassed on your land without invitation, but lives are at stake. Futures are at risk. Our freedom to make choices is being stripped from us. I need to know, Bey, will you join us? Will you be a part of the Nox?”
It was a heavy question. It brought gravity and conflict. I was asking her to defy, to unite, to fight. I gave her time.
“Will I have to leave my territory?”
“Only temporarily. Case and his tribe are in Sullen’s Grove. I know they can move more freely than we can, but you’ll have to leave for a while. Until we can shut this down. We have to do it together. I know it’s not easy, and I’m asking a lot from you, but you’ll be able to keep your land and protect the people here as long as you want. You just have to be willing to leave for a little while.”
She didn’t want to leave. I got that. It was her nature to stay here and protect her borders, but we couldn’t take down the Tribe if we were split over two states. It had taken the other Nox a while to get used to the idea, but eventually they settled in at The Grove and focused on what we had to do.
I’d like to think we would all be friends regardless of how we came together. Maybe I was naïve that way, or too wrapped up in my mission, but we were more than friends out of necessity. I wish I had some kind of window into our lives to show Bey. It would make the decision easier if she knew what she was gaining in becoming part of the Nox.
“And what happens if I don’t go? What if I want to stay here?” she pushed.
“You want to marry Case? You want to be human? It’s your choice. That’s what I’m fighting for—the choice. But right now, it’s actually not up to you. If you change your mind or have second thoughts, there’s nothing you can do.” I walked around her slowly.
“Picture your life as a full human. Not being able to prowl at night. No more protecting the people in your area. No more power. No more strength. A life without shifting. A life without the night.” I let the words sit with her. “And you’ll have a cub. Probably a girl. We both know how rare it is to have a boy. And she’ll take your magic. You’ll give her every last ounce you have, and then you’ll have to raise her to be a shifter. You’ll have to teach her how to control the animal in her. How to stop the anger when it comes. How to stop the shifting from happening when she wants it the most. Then when she turns twenty-two, you’ll watch this powerful woman you’ve raised giv
e it all up. Everything you taught her—gone. And why? Why do we have to do that?”
I sat in front of her, my eyes piercing the air between us. “It never ends. This is your chance to stop it. To change things. To make a difference. Take some control.”
“What happens if we don’t succeed? Can you protect us?”
“It’s never been done before, so I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I know, but I have to try. The Nox are trying. I’d rather live my life like this than wondering if I could have done something.”
I didn’t know Bey’s story. I didn’t know her mother or how she was raised. I didn’t know if her father ever came to visit or had so many children he forgot their names. But she was one of us. It didn’t matter what the stories were; they were all going to end the same way. In total submission.
“Ok.”
“Ok? You’ll come with me?” I hadn’t been able to gauge which way she would lean.
Her ears twitched and her front paws slid forward as if she were bowing. “Yes. I don’t want to leave my territory, but I turn twenty-two next year. I’ll be waiting for Case to make his way to me, and then it will be stripped from me anyway. This might be a way to save it. I’ll follow you to Sullen’s Grove.”
“It is. We’re going to save it.”
She stood, stretching each leg. “I’ve never been a part of a group before. Not even as a human. I wanted to try out for cheerleading in high school because I knew I could do more flips and jumps than anyone on the squad, but the thought of spending that much time with all those girls…” Her words trailed to a growl.
“Don’t worry. It’s not as hard as you might think. It took a little adjusting for each of us, but there is something empowering about being with others like you.”
We walked side by side through the forest.
“But they listen to you? They have to obey? Since you’re the queen and all.”
“There has always been a royal hierarchy in the shifter world. You know that. Most of the kings take it seriously. They give orders and expect everyone to follow them like lost little puppies.” I stopped on the trail. “When my father died, I vowed I wouldn’t rule like that. I’m a part of the Nox, but when the hard decisions have to be made or when they need someone, that’s when I’m their leader. Make sense?”