The guy threw up his hands. “Calm down, man. I was just asking.” He jumped on his bicycle, pedaling off.
“That nigga on a bike and trying to holla. Why would you want a broke pimp?”
Shae laughed. “Why did you lie to that boy?”
“Just made myself feel good. I wish I could have a lovely girl like you. That’s an impossible dream.” Shae just smiled and walked ahead of him. She cared about Larry more than he knew. But, some things were better left unsaid.
Shae’s ass immediately enraptured the old man behind the counter. He failed to notice three kids stuffing candy bars under their shirts. Larry caught wind of it though and chuckled.
“Yo Pops, EBP?” Larry asked when the man continued to eye Shae up and down. He was smacking his lips like he was getting ready for a tasty treat.
“W-what was that, boy?” The man stopped staring at Shae and turned his attention to Larry.
“I said, EBP?” Larry repeated.
“What’s that, some new kinda drug?” he asked in a suspicious tone. “Ain’t gonna be none of that up in here, son.”
“No, it means, do you have an eye ball problem? I see you sweating my lady. What’s up?” He held up his hands in a questioning gesture.
“Aw boy, all I can do is look.” He waved Larry off good-naturedly. “I’m too damn old to do anythin’ else. No harm intended. You got ya self one fine young lady.” He leaned closer to Larry and lowered his voice. “You got that yet?” he whispered.
“Got what yet?”
“You know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout boy. You ain’t dumb, is ya?”
“Old man, you a border line perv. Do you order women’s panties on-line?” He saw Shae walking toward the front of the store. “Hey Shae, guess what this man just asked me?”
“What?” Shae placed the items she’d gotten on the counter top.
“You don’t even wanna know.” Larry laughed. “He asked me if I got me some yet?”
“That ain’t his fucking business,” Shae said. The kids that had been stealing stood at the front of the store edging toward the door. They giggled loudly. The man paused from ringing up Shae’s items and pointed at them.
“Y’all sticky fingered lil bastards, get on outta my store,” he yelled. They gave him the finger and ran out. He leaned over the counter, craning his neck to yell behind them. “I knows all ya folks. Don’t get it twisted.” He turned back to Shae as if he hadn’t stopped talking to her at all. “I know it ain’t my business, but you sho look mighty fine. Mighty fine.”
“Stop foaming at the mouth and finish ringing her up,” Larry snapped. He didn’t care if the man had one foot in the grave; he was flirting with his woman.
“Alright. Alright. You ain’t gotta yell. Shit. Fucking young ass fuckerss these days ain’t got no damn respect,” he mumbled as he threw the stuff into a brown paper bag.
“What’s up, old man? You want me to come cross this damn counter?” Larry challenged. Shae knew that he was joking, but she wasn’t sure if the old man knew.
“Larry, come on and stop messing with that man. He might have a heart attack,” she said.
“Only thing gone make me have a heart attack is you, Sugar,” the man responded, winking at Shae. “I’ll try that Viagra drug for you. You one fine, sweet young thing. Make a man like me wish he was fifty years younger.”
“Please. If you was fifty years younger, you’d still be about sixty,” she said. She grabbed her purchases and sashayed away.
“Grandpa got a lot of nerves, trying to hit on me. He’d probably give me worms,” she said. Larry laughed.
“Besides, you’re not in the market for a sugar granddaddy.” He shook his head. “Girl, if you belonged to me, I’d have to lock you up. You get too much attention. I’d be too jealous.”
They watched as a white Chevy Caprice pulled up in front of the store. It was eye-catching, with spinning rims and loud music blasting from the amps in the trunk.
“Damn Red.” The guy on the passenger’s side leaned out the window. He had big teeth and resembled the actor that played JJ on Good Times. “What’s yo name?” He ignored Larry who scowled at him.
“Come on, Shae. You don’t need to mix with them kind of people,” Larry said lowly.
“Go on Larry. I’ll catch up with you. I won’t be but a few minutes.” Larry stood there with a defiant look on his face. “Go on, shit. I ain’t no damn baby needing to be watched,” she snapped.
With reluctance, Larry headed off. He moved slowly and looked back several times. Finally, he just threw up his hands and walked at a normal pace. He turned the corner and was out of sight.
“What’s up, Red? What’s yo name?” the guy asked again.
“I’m Shae. Who wants to know?” she answered.
“What you ‘bout Red? Like having a good time?”
“That depends on what kind of a good time you talking ‘bout.”
“You know, sniffing a lil powder, getting high?” the guy said.
“No. I ain’t with it.” She walked off.
“Hey wait.” She heard a different voice and turned around. The driver had been hidden behind his partner, blocked from her view. “Can you step ‘round here to my side for a minute?” he asked.
“Hell nah.”
“Girl, stop trippin’. My dawg said step to him.”
“So? He ain’t God. He wanna say something to me, he can get out the car.”
“Obviously, you don’t know who I am,” the driver spoke again. He nudged his friend aside and she got a clear look at him.
“No. Is that supposed to scare me?” she asked, glaring at him. He held her gaze. She had to admit he was one of the most handsome men she’d ever laid eyes on. Her heart pounded crazily in her chest.
“Get in the car.” His eyes seemed to hypnotize her. Against her will, she moved toward the Chevy.
“Wait a minute. I don’t even know you,” she said, stepping back.
“You will.” It sounded like a promise. Shae looked away and gained some control.
“I have to go. My mama’s waiting on me to get back with this stuff.” She indicated the bag she held.
“I’ll take you home. Where you live?” She didn’t answer right away. “Where was that?”
“The projects,” she finally said.
“The projects,” the other guy exclaimed. “As fine as you is? Damn.”
“Yeah. What of it? Y’all got something against the projects?” she asked.
“No. I don’t,” the driver answered. “I go there to conduct business all the time. By the way, my name is Dana. Dana Russell.”
“Better known as D.D.D.,” Mouth said.
“What?”
“Diamond Dog Dana.” If the car hadn’t convinced her of the danger, now the red flags went up. With a name like that, he had to be a drug dealer. Yeah, she just bet he conducted business in the projects. Shae couldn’t be bothered with a low-down drug dealer. All of them were male-whores that slept with everything on the block, street, or corner. Chicken heads, dirty-foots, maggots, scallywags: a drug dealer didn’t care who he let lick his balls. Her opinion of them was just as worse as her opinion of male strippers.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, Dana. I gotta go. See you around,” she said.
“Wait. Can’t I get a number?” Dana asked.
“No phone,” she tossed over her shoulder.
“Can you give me an address? Somethin’?” he pleaded.
“Just come to Jordan Park and ask for Shae. You’ll find me if you really want to,” she said, hurrying off before the guy could stop her again.
Larry sat on the porch and waited for Shae to arrive. His fists clenched and unclenched. Why did she want to stay behind and converse with some no-account drug dealer? No good would come of that; he was sure of it.
When she got there, he scowled her way. “It took you long enough,” he said.
“Since when did you become my daddy?” She placed her hands on her hips and glared
at him.
“I’m just trying to watch ya back. Girl, that nigga is a notorious drug dealer. You have no idea how ruthless he can be,” he said.
“I can take care of myself,” she told him. “Besides, it ain’t none of ya business.” Larry’s head dropped and his bottom lip jutted out causing her to feel a stab of regret. She knew that he was soft on her, and she didn’t want to hurt him in any way. When she actually thought about it, he really was the only real friend she had. Oh, there was James. Unlike James, Larry never tried to get between her legs.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Should she apologize? He was always so nice to her and she really appreciated his friendship. “Larry, I’m—sorry,” she said. “Give me a minute to take this stuff to my mama and I’ll be right back.”
He gave her a quick glance, nodded then looked away. Any moment that he got to spend with her was priceless. He didn’t know if he could let her know that though.
When Shae went inside, her grandmother came out.
“Hello, young man,” she said.
“Hey Ma Violet. How you doing this evening?” he asked.
“I can’t complain. Blessed. Just wonderfully blessed,” she said, sitting down in a chair near the door. “So, you determined to make Shae fall fer ya, ain’t ya?” she asked.
Larry laughed, as his face flushed. He didn’t know if he should answer her out-of-the-blue question. “I think that’s impossible. She and I are just friends.” He exhale and averted his eyes.
“I can tell you wish it was somethin’ more. Hmff. If you didn’t care ‘bout that girl, you wouldn’t keep comin’ back for the abuse.” She cackled like a hen and Larry shook his head. Ma Violet was so right in her assessment. No matter what Shae said or did, he always wanted to be around her.
When Shae returned, Larry could barely look at her. What if she figured out how he felt? Was he walking around wearing his heart on his sleeve? If Ma Violet could see it, maybe Shae could too.
He wondered if she knew from the first day back in elementary school. He met her in the second grade when he moved to St. Petersburg from Philadelphia. He fell in love at first sight. She’d looked so pretty with her long pigtails and fair-colored skin. She wore a blue, frilly dress with white bobby socks and shiny black shoes. Looking at her had melted his heart. To him, she resembled a delicate, china doll. From day one, he wanted to protect her.
During recess on that first day of class, he found out that she wasn’t delicate at all. And she definitely didn’t need anyone to protect her. She’d proven that she was tough as nails when she whipped a boy named Billy’s butt after he pushed her out of the swing.
Once the fight ended, she gazed down at her skinned knee. All the other kids gathered around Billy, taunting him. Larry didn’t care about teasing some sissy who got beat up by a girl. It served him right.
Instead, he went over to where Shae sat on the ground and inspected her wound.
“Does it hurt?” he asked.
“Of course it hurts, stupid.” Her eyelids blinked rapidly as she fought back tears.
“Well, I have a Band Aid. You want it?”
“Why you carry ‘round Band Aids?”
“I don’t,” he said quickly. He didn’t want her to think he was a weirdo. “I jus’ happen to have one ‘cause my finger got cut.” He’d held up a wrapped index finger and wiggled it.
“Okay. Give it to me. And hurry up.”
“You sure are bossy. But, I like you.” She gazed at him quizzically then her mouth turned upwards. He retrieved the Band Aid from his pocket, opened it, and gingerly placed it on her sore knee. He helped her up, and they’d walked into the building together.
Back in the classroom, the kids teased them and sang: “Shae and Larry, sitting in a tree K- I- S- S- I- N G…” Shae blushed down to her roots and Larry felt a warm sensation wash over him. Neither of them demanded that their classmates stop chanting the song. They just stared at each other with silly grins on their faces.
Yes, Larry thought as he reminisced. He looked over at Shae who sat next to her grandmother. His eyes softened. I’ve loved Shae for as long as I can remember. He never got up the nerve to tell her, though. He figured if he hung around her long enough she’d get the message. Ten years later, she still seemed to have no clue. Since he’d be leaving soon, he felt he should reveal his true feelings.
CHAPTER THREE
“To the windows! To the walls! ‘Til the sweat drop down my…”
The thin walls of the apartment vibrated.
“God, Toby. Turn that music down. People can’t even sleep.” Shae groaned and rolled over. The alarm clock on the nightstand read 5:14 AM. “What the hell he doing up this damn early?” she mumbled and reluctantly got out of bed. She found the robe she’d flung on a chair earlier and slipped it on.
“Get low! Get low! Get low!” The song continued to pound into her head. Her face tightened as she stumbled toward Toby’s room.
She charged in without knocking. “Toby, what’s yo problem, boy? You know people trying to sleep this time-” Her hand flew up to her mouth and her eyes widened. Marijuana and cocaine covered the bed spread.
Toby jumped, causing some drug paraphernalia to fall off the bed. “Man, you forgot how to knock?” he yelled. He didn’t bother covering up the drugs.
“What you doing with this shit? So, you gonna start selling drugs like the next common thug, right?”
“I ain’t just started- I been doing this So what? Just mind ya own business,” he told her. “Touch ya nose.” Now Shae understood why Toby could afford the latest urban wear and the newest, most expensive shoes.
“What the fuck wrong with you and this noise early this morning?” Mrs. Byrts’ voice boomed louder than the music. She parked herself in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb. She held a glass filled with brown liquor and ice.
Toby’s mouth opened, forming a circle. He unsuccessfully tried to pull the comforter over the drugs before she saw them.
“Toby, what is that?” she asked. Her eyes swept the floor where the small plastic baggies littering it. “And what’s under that bedspread, boy?”
“I, uh, I c-can explain,” he stammered.
“Just shut ya damn mouth. You must think I’m a fool or something. I can see what’s going on. I ain’t blind.” Her eyes were cold and hard. “You know damn well I don’t play this shit. You must have lost what lil fucking brains God gave you.” She entered the room, threw back the cover, and picked up some of the crack. “Look at this shit.” Before Toby could blink, she caught him upside the head with an open hand slap. “No, you didn’t start this. You taking ya ass back to school. That’s what you gone do and I mean that. Now get this shit out of my house.”
Toby kicked the edge of the bed. He gathered up the drugs and paraphernalia from the floor.
“Big ass bitch,” he mumbled, low enough for only Shae to hear.
“What the fuck did you say?” Mrs. Byrts screeched. Her eyes turned red. “It ain’t gonna take too much mo’ for me to get on ya ass. So, ya best bet is to shut ya fucking mouth. I will rearrange this room up with ya sorry ass.” Shae felt the fear that always came when their mother went on one of her rampages. In the end, someone always ended up hurt. She prayed that Toby would just be quiet before he ended up getting tossed to the floor and kicked unmercifully.
“Mama, I’m tired of you yelling and cussing at me all the time,” Toby yelled. “You always telling me what the hell I can and can’t do, and I’m sick of it.”
“Toby, what’s wrong with you?” Shae asked. Her eyes darted from Toby to Mrs. Byrts. Mrs. Byrts face tightened, turned a few shades darker, and the hand not holding the glass clenched into a fist. A large jugular vein throbbed.
“Ain’t nothing wrong with me. I’m just sick of this shit. I’m tired of living in these sorry ass, roach infested projects. I’m tired of being poor.” His eyes narrowed before he continued. “Mama, something’s wrong with you. You ain’t like nobody
else’s mama I know. It’s one thing for kids to get beatings, but hell, we get beat downs. That’s messed up. It ain’t supposed to happen.”
Shae inhaled, anticipating their mother’s wrath. Mrs. Byrts just shook her head. “Look, you can stand here and run ya mouth all you want,” she said, “but you getting out of here with that mess. I’m not going to jail behind ya sorry ass. And if you get me kicked off of Section 8 because of this, I will tear up the sidewalk with ya ass.”
Shae’s brow lifted. Was that it? All she was going to do was give Toby a slap on the wrist? But, he was selling drugs. “Mama, tell him not to sell drugs,” Shae pleaded.
Mrs. Byrts had already turned back to nursing her drink. Ice clinked against the empty glass. “I can’t make that hardheaded boy listen. He just like Vivian.” With that, she turned and left the room. The slam of the door reverberated in their ears.
Shae stood, mouth wide opened. She still couldn’t believe Toby had escaped their mother’s fury. Not only had he brought drugs into the house, he’d been totally disrespectful to her.
“You got off lucky,” she said. “Mama must be too tired or hung-over from hanging out last night and drinking.”
“So what? I ain’t scared of her.” Yet, his voice cracked and he visible trembled.
Shae felt that Toby couldn’t possibly understand the danger of what he was doing. Selling drugs could not become a career choice for him.
“Toby, don’t throw your life away,” she said. “You are too smart for that. Go back to school. Finish your education. Be somebody.”
“I am somebody right now,” he said. “Shae, I know what I’m doing. Just stop nagging me, will you? I can handle this.” He broadened his shoulder and stuck out his chest. But, she still saw a lost little boy standing before her.
“It’s your life.” Toby put the cocaine and marijuana into a large, zip lock bag. A knot formed in her chest as he walked past and down the stairs.
Shae tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t. After tossing and turning for the next hour, she groaned and sat up. Thirty minutes later, there were grits, eggs, sausage, hash browns, and pancakes on the table for Ma Violet and the twins. Shae tried to swallow down scrambled eggs, but they only got lodged in her throat. She couldn’t shake the enormous sense of dread she felt.
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