“I’m going next door to call the hospital. I want to check on Charles and Chris,” Shae told Toby. He immediately jumped up from the couch.
“I’ll go with you. I don’t- just don’t wanna be- you know.” Shae nodded because she understood. He didn’t want to be alone in the apartment. They walked next door together.
Mrs. Watts met them at the door and told them how sorry she was about their mother. She’d witnessed it all and still couldn’t believe it. That child had to have been possessed by some demon spirit. What else would make her carry on so? It had to be the devil. That’s why she made sure that she stayed in church and stayed into God and His Word. When you strayed from that, you could easily become prey to the devil and his wiles and schemes. Satan would use anybody he could as a vessel. He’s a liar and he comes to steal, to kill and to destroy. Bertha should have rebuked him in the name of Jesus. Rebuke the devil and he will flee from you.
“It’s a shame, a real shame.” She shook her head. “Bertha was a good kid. I knew ‘em all when they was comin’ up. She was a good chile. It’s a shame she turned out the way she did.” She ushered them into the house. “Sorry to hear about ya grandmother, too. May God bless her soul. At least now she’s at peace. The Bible says, Behold, I shew you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. Read that sometime. It’s in I Corinthians. When nothing else works, you’ll find that Jesus works. Always. Baby, God doesn’t put more on us than we can bear. Remember that.”
“Thank you,” Shae said getting teary eyed. Mrs. Watts patted her kindly on the back and left the room. Shae picked up the phone.
Charles’s condition had upgraded to stable, and he’d been moved out of intensive care. She received the good news that the twins would be allowed visitors the next day. She relayed that to Toby.
“I’m so glad they’re all right. Mama- I just don’t know what to say about her,” he said.
Shae also contacted the detective who’d come to their place earlier that week. The news he relayed to her would have shocked anyone else; it only confirmed all the other horrible stories she knew of her mother.
Her grandmother had died from arsenic poison, too. Her mother had taken out a $100,000 insurance policy on them and wanted to collect the money. She’d admitted it all to the public defender.
They thanked Mrs. Watts for the use of the phone then went back to their apartment. The four walls felt as if they were closing in on them. The air was filled with gloom. The television stayed off because neither of them felt like watching it.
“Shae, do you remember Daddy?” Toby asked out of the blue.
“Yeah, a little. He was hardly around,” she said.
“Probably ‘cause Mama ran him off,” he remarked.
“I know he drank a lot. When he did show up, he was usually wasted.” Shae seemed deep in thought. “I do remember, it’s vague, but when I was about three or four, he used to come home from work. We didn’t live in the projects then,” she added. She wrinkled her face, trying to recall the details. “We lived in a tan colored house near where they built the interstate. Daddy would come home from work. Vivian and I would be waiting, watching for him out the window. When his car pulled up in the driveway, we’d rush outside and throw ourselves at him. He’d swoop us up in his arms and swing us around and around. We’d laugh and laugh. I remember being so happy.” She sighed deeply. “Then, I guess he lost his job. He started drinking and everything changed.”
“It didn’t help thing with me on the way, huh?” He’d done the math; if she’d been about three or four that meant that he wasn’t yet born. Mrs. Byrts had been carrying him.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she said. “He got another job, but it didn’t pay as good as the one he’d been working on. After we lost the house, we moved here. I hated it. I guess the main reason Daddy didn’t move in with us was because of Mama. The projects are made for single women with children. If he lived with us, she’d have to pay a higher rent because he worked.”
“Well, he still didn’t have to just dip,” Toby said.
“I guess three were enough. When Mama got pregnant and had twins, he just couldn’t take it. He split for good. Maybe it was for the best. They used to fight, and Mama would hit him with whatever she could get her hands on. You were too little to remember the fights.”
“I wonder where he is now,” Toby thought out loud.
“I don’t know.” Shae shrugged.
She’d given up on ever seeing their father again. He had written them off and for that she’d never forgive him. Maybe their lives would have turned out differently had he stuck around.
“Was Mama ever nice?” Toby asked.
“Yeah, she was up until we moved to the projects,” she grimaced. “The projects will turn anybody’s heart to stone.”
“That don’t give her no right to kill her family,” Toby said. “She took out a $100,000 insurance policy on all of us. We would have been next.” He shook his head. “I should have known something was up. As greedy as she is, she never ate none of them powdered donuts. Since when did she become all nice and generous, all of a sudden?”
“Somewhere along the way, her mind must have slipped.” Shae really couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened. Once, Mrs. Byrts had actually been a good mother. The projects had changed that. She came home complaining about her job as a certified nursing assistant. She griped about having to wipe old folks’ asses for very little pay. Lifting people made her back hurt. The Director of Nursing was a bitch that had it in for her. It had been one thing after the next. It hadn’t been long before she’d begun drinking. That’s when all hell broke loose. They learned from experience that their mother was a mean drunk and she drank nearly every day.
They reminisced for a while longer then Toby left the apartment. He said he couldn’t stand being there because it brought back too many bad memories. Shae felt the same way, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go. She could call Dana, but she’d rather die a slow death than to be with him, especially after what he’d done to her earlier. Instead, she sat on the couch, letting the deadly silence embrace the pain in her heart.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Two days after their mother’s arrest, a woman wearing a crisp, business suit with her hair pulled up in a French twist, knocked on the door. Shae answered, frowning at the stranger standing there. Every time some fancy dressed person came to their place, it always spelled trouble.
“My name is Mrs. Kendra King. I was sent by DCF,” the woman informed.
“Who?” Shae asked.
“The Department of Children and Family Services. I’m here to discuss you and your brothers’ living arrangements. Can I come inside, please?” Shae let her in with reservations. Taking off her Prada sunglasses, the woman surveyed the living room with a critical eye before she sat down. Noticing that she also carried a Prada handbag with a matching briefcase, Shae deemed her a snob. No one in the ‘hood wore Prada.
“I have some issues that I have to go over with you,” Mrs. King stated.
“Like what?” Shae crossed her arms and waited. She wouldn’t feel comfortable sitting, so she remained standing.
“Like where the boys-” She glanced down at a file as she spoke. “-Charles and Chris will be living upon release from the hospital, as well as Toby,” she added. Her keen eyes rested on Shae.
“I thought they would get to come home.” Shae assumed that Toby, Charles and Chris would live with her, but apparently DCF didn’t see it that way
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible, er-” She looked back down at the file, “LaShae, is it?
“Shae.”
“Shae. That’s not a possibility. Since the boys were harmed while living here, it’s considered an unsafe environment,” she informed.
“But Mama is locked up. She can’t hurt them again,”
Shae insisted.
“I understand,” Mrs. King said, but in Shae’s mind, she didn’t understand anything.
“I can take care of the twins. I practically raised them from birth anyway. Mama was always gone, or drunk. When she was home, all she did was beat them and yell at them. I did everything for Chris and Charles. It was like they were my own kids instead of my brothers,” she shared in a desperate attempt to get the woman to see her side of things.
“I’ll take all that you’ve shared with me into consideration,” the woman said once they’d finished talking.
She’d read the hospital record on the twins as well as the statements given to the police department by Shae and Toby. She didn’t doubt that the mother had been a vicious woman and an uncaring mother. And who could tell how the daughter would turn out? Regardless, it wasn’t feasible in her mind that an eighteen-year-old could raise three children.
“You must understand that we want what’s best for the children. Do you sincerely feel that living in the projects is the ideal life for them? There’s drug dealing, shootings, prostitution, as well as other types of danger.” She gathered her files together, shoved them into the briefcase, and snapped it shut. “I sincerely doubt that the state will give their approval for you to be their legal guardian,” she informed as she stood.
“Why not?” Shae asked.
“Well, first of all, do you have a job?” the woman questioned.
“No.”
“Did you even finish high school?” she inquired with a frown.
“No but-”
“How will you support the children?” she went on.
“I don’t know. I’ll get a job and-”
“What type of skills do you have?” the woman pressed.
“Well- I- I can be a waitress or something,” Shae said in desperation. Mrs. King gave her a pitying look. Shae dropped her head in shame.
“Your brother, Toby, is he here? I have instructions to remove him from the home within forty-eight hours.”
“I don’t know where he is,” Shae lied.
The woman’s sharp eyes didn’t blink even though she knew it was a lie. She’d dealt with this type of situation often and had learned to read people well.
“I’ll be back once the agency reviews your case file. As I mentioned, we will take everything into consideration. We have to look out for the best interest of the children.” She put her shades back on and tucked the briefcase underneath her arm, an indication that the meeting had ended.
Shae walked her to the door, showing her out.
“Have a nice day.” She walked off, and Shae could hear the sound of her high heels clicking down the sidewalk. Apparently she had more than one family to visit in the projects since her car remained parked out front. No doubt, some other family would be torn apart before the day ended.
“Fucked up, huh?” Shae turned to find Toby standing on the stairway. “I heard everything,” he told her. “I ain’t going. If DCF want to take me somewhere, they gonna have to catch me. I know what happens in foster homes. You got a lot of sick, twisted motherfuckers acting like they are about children. They just want to have an easy way to abused and molest kids. They ain’t gonna fuck my life up. Shit, it’s already fucked up enough.” He headed for the kitchen. “None of us will ever see each other again, either.”
“They don’t even care about breaking apart a family. We’re all we got. I don’t want us broken apart, spread all over the place,” Shae said in distress.
“Like I said,” Toby repeated “They’ll have to catch me. And if they do, I’ll run away again. That’s real.” He went back upstairs carrying a large bowl of Fruit Loops.
Shae sat down. She bit the corner of her lip as she thought. What would happen once DCF separated them? Would she forget that her brothers even existed? She didn’t think she could ever forget all that had happened to them. Could she be like her sister Vivian, and never look back? It couldn’t be that easy. Too much had taken place, and it all would remain etched in her memory forever. Her brothers were an extension of her. Losing them would be like losing a part of self. Tears of helplessness slid down her cheeks. She could do absolutely nothing about their situation.
Shae received the news that the twins wouldn’t be allowed to live with her. It came delivered in a large, yellow envelope with the word CONFIDENTIAL stamped on it in bold, red letters. She’d already known, in a sense, but wasn’t ready to accept it. It didn’t help her case when she missed the court date. She couldn’t make it to the hearing because Dana gave her a black eye. Showing up asking for custody of her brothers in that condition would have been a huge mistake.
She opened the envelope and read the letter. The story was the same: she was too unstable to care for them. Of course, the letter reiterated the fact that they were looking out for the “best interest of the children.” She’d thought that telling them she’d practically raised the boys by herself would make a difference, but it hadn’t. The state took custody. Charles and Chris were placed in foster care upon release from the hospital.
Shae was devastated. She had lost everything she ever cared about. At least she still had Toby, and that consoled her a little. He would have been sentenced to the same fate, only he couldn’t be found. When Mrs. King returned to remove him from the home, he and most of his clothing had disappeared. Shae had no idea where he was or how to get in contact with him.
As an adult, she could fend for herself. Just like that, she was on her own. She rented a room at a motel because if she remained at the apartment, Dana would find her. It wasn’t quite the way she had wanted it, but at least she’d finally gotten out the projects.
She hadn’t seen Dana since he’d blackened her eye, and was determined to avoid him at all cost. He’d put his hands on her for the last time. She wanted to leave the past behind her and considered him part of that past. She needed to make some sense of her life, at least what was left of it.
The money that she’d taken with her wouldn’t sustain her forever. She’d left her life savings behind, not wanting to carry such a large amount around. She knew that people broke into hotel rooms all the time, and the maids couldn’t be trusted not to rob you blind. She’d go back to the apartment and retrieve it as soon as the coast was clear. It would take a while before another family was allowed to move into the unit. The St. Petersburg Housing Authority had a waiting list as long as two years for the Section 8 program. Even though families desperately needed housing, the process to get into them was slow and grueling. Residents got placed at different times of the year. It would be at least six more months before that occurred. Shae wasn’t worried because she’d have her money long before then.
The first week on her own, she only left the room to get something to eat. Even then, she didn’t venture too far away from the hotel. Luckily for her, a KFC as well as a Chinese restaurant were located nearby. She kept a low profile because the last thing she wanted was to run into Dana. If he found her, she knew he’d attack her again for not contacting him in days. He’d probably even try to force her to live with him. She’d virtually be his slave. That would be a fate almost worse than death. She would not allow him to dictate her life. Her mother had already done that, and she refused to let anyone else do the same.
She left the car he’d given her parked in front of his place with a note under the windshield wiper. Once he read it, he’d get the point. She wanted nothing more to do with him.
Another week passed. Shae felt she’d wasted enough time wallowing in self-pity. She had to pull herself together and find a job. Once she began working and found an apartment, she’d go before the courts and try to gain custody of her brothers. Being a responsible adult would be proof that she could care for them.
She dressed up in a nice business-casual skirt set and headed out. Even though she completed job applications most of the morning, she didn’t have much luck. Not too many people wanted to hire a high school dropout with no work experience. The real world was harder t
o live in than she’d thought. She now had a clear understanding of what the DCF worker had been talking about. She had thought the snooty woman had been condescending, but now she knew better.
After searching and getting rejected over and over, depression settled over her. What was the problem? Sure, she’d dropped out of high school, but she wasn’t dumb. Why couldn’t anybody see that? Why wouldn’t they give her a chance?
She went back to the hotel and lay across the bed, feeling sorry for herself. If she didn’t find something soon, she’d be forced to result to desperate measures. Dana had taken her to visit many nightclubs where women danced for money. She knew without a doubt that she could get hired as a stripper. She just didn’t want to parade around half naked in front of men who slobbered out their mouths with lust. She shivered from the thought and pulled the sheet over her, closing her eyes in frustration.
She’d almost fallen asleep when she heard a knock on the door. Automatically, she tensed. She feared that Dana had found her and didn’t know what to do. He’d be steaming mad and she didn’t want to face his wrath. Maybe, he’d just go away if she remained silent.
“Shae, are you in there?” She recognized Toby’s voice. “Open up.” She ran to the door and snatched it open.
“Toby, where have you been?” she exclaimed, happy to see him.
“Around,” he answered and ambled into the room.
“Wait. How did you find me?” She hadn’t let too many people know where she was staying.
“Aunt Bea told me, girl. Anyway, I got some good news.”
“What?”
“Aunt Beatrice got custody of the twins. That’s where they’re staying.” Shae threw her arms around his neck.
“That’s great news. What about you?” she asked stepping back to look at him. Toby glanced down at his feet.
“She didn’t want me,” he finally answered. “It’s not that she don’t care- it’s just that I’d be a bad influence on the other kids…selling drugs and all.” He put his hands in his pockets. “It don’t matter none. I can take care of myself.”
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