I turned my head, brushing his cheek with mine. It sizzled and the sparks scattered down my arm and through my chest. Alex was making this difficult. Maybe if he hated me then he would fire me.
I pushed him back. “Only a rich snob would want something no one else has.”
I was pushing it but he needed to hate me.
“What?”
“You heard me. Don’t think I don’t remember what you said to me over a week ago, Alex. I’m just the hired help. Is that why you want me to stay and work on this mural? Because you get some sick kick out of watching people slave away at your every desire.”
Even I was having a hard time believing the words coming out of my mouth. But something I said hit a spark. He narrowed his eyes as a vein on his neck pulsated.
He was mad. I needed to keep this up, really make him never want to see me again.
“I don’t get a sick kick out of—”
“Don’t lie to me, Alex.” I pushed my hands onto my hip and flared my nose. “That’s why you don’t have any real friends, isn’t it? You get giddy knowing people have to do what you say because they want your money.”
My stomach churned with what I was saying to him. Alex was the nicest guy I had ever met. He genuinely wanted to get to know me, and when he complimented my work it was honest, not to flatter but because he felt it.
I hated saying these things to him but I knew if I stayed there would be a point where I would try something with him. He deserved a woman who wanted him for more than just one night. He deserved better than me.
He deserved better than someone his mother set him up with.
“That’s not true,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair.
It was time to end this. Time I left. But first, I needed to land the final blow. A lump formed in my throat and I wondered if I would be able to get the words out.
“More lies, Alex. I talked to your mother over a week ago and she had some interesting things to say about you,” I said and fought against the bile rising in my throat.
Alex moved quickly and was in front of me, breathing hard. His jaw set and his eyes wild as he grabbed the top of my arm. With a firm grip that told me to watch my tongue but refused to cause pain, he dipped his head to my ear. “Never believe anything my mother says, Aria. She will use you to get what she wants, even if it means telling you lies.”
I tried to step back out of his hold but the back of my legs hit the bed.
“Then she lied about you being a virgin?” I regretted my words as quickly as they fell out of my mouth.
None of this was my business. Alex was right, I was hired help. His personal life had nothing to do with me.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean any of the stuff I just said. This is none of my business—”
“She didn’t lie about me being a virgin.”
I stood there staring at the floor and when I finally gathered the courage to glance at him, he was watching the floor too.
A part of me thought Alex’s mom was lying and when Alex said not to believe what she said I felt relief. No more awkwardness of pretending I didn’t know. No more wondering what it would be like to give him his first orgasm while being inside of me. No more realizing that I couldn’t be with him because he deserved a woman who wasn’t going to run.
But, as he admitted that he was a virgin, I realized what I worried about when I came here this Monday morning ready to work on what he hired me for was ignorant. So what if he’s a virgin? I was a virgin once. Did I want some sweet guy that was gentle with me to take my virginity? Yes, I did but that’s not always what we get.
“That clears that up,” I said unable to think of anything good.
I closed my eyes, embarrassed at how I handled this whole situation. A stronger woman would have got on with her work, setting personal feelings aside.
The last thing I was, was strong.
“Did she offer you money?”
My eyes snapped up to his in surprise. “What? No, she didn’t offer me money.”
He laughed and walked around me to go sit on the edge of the bed. “That’s what she does, you know. My mother has to control everything, even my sex life.”
I frowned and went to sit next to him. “That’s terrible. Why would she go that far? When I talked to her, she mentioned about keeping you safe from people who wanted to take advantage of you. But she can’t keep everyone out.”
“She can, Aria. She has. My entire life has been orchestrated by her hands. Do you know that what the press said about me being with prostitutes was real?”
My hand went to my mouth. How could that be? He’s a virgin. The more information I get about Alex, the more confused I became.
“But you’re a virgin . . .”
“Anytime I socialized in public at an art event or gallery opening there would be a beautiful woman there, someone I was attracted to, that showed interest in me. They would talk to me and say just the right thing to make me want to get to know them even more. Until one night I got enough nerve to ask one of these women to come home with me.”
FOURTEEN
Alexander
Aria was disgusted.
And who could blame her? I’m a pathetic twenty-six-year-old man who couldn’t even have sex with a woman paid to get it on with him.
“They were prostitutes. I found out when I took the first woman home. She kept trying to push things with me. All I wanted to do was get to know her. Maybe kiss her,” I said and gave a side glance to Aria to find out how she was taking it.
Her color was better. She didn’t appear like she was about puke anymore.
“What do you mean she pushed things?”
I turned toward her, propping my knee on the bed. “She kept touching me. Trying to unbutton my shirt and move in to kiss me. At one point, I gave in to kissing her, but it wasn’t long before her hand started to wander. So, I stopped it . . . stopped her.”
That was embarrassing. I never wanted to tell Aria any of what happened but my mother hadn’t given me much of a choice. Either explain things to Aria or completely lose her forever. At least if she left now, she would know the truth and not the lies my mother had said to paint me as the pathetic loser.
Maybe they weren’t lies.
She reached over and placed her hand on mine as it rested on my knee. Her touch sincere, soothing, and I kept thinking if Aria’s hand began to wander I don’t think I would stop her.
“But how did you realize she was a prostitute?” Aria asked, her thumb brushing back and forth over my hand.
“She let it slip. When I stopped her before she could, you know, grab me,” I pointed to the zipper in my jeans, “she mentioned how my mother paid good money for her time. When I told her to get out, the woman broke down, afraid she wouldn’t get the rest of her money. She cried that she had a baby at home she needed to take care of.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible,” Aria said moving her other hand to my shoulder. Every place she touched radiated, sending electricity straight to my crotch.
I was having trouble keeping my attention focused on her eyes. They kept falling to her lips, to her tits.
“It made me realize she was just another victim of my mother. I wanted to help her. I wanted to help them all. So, I let my mother continue her little game of controlling my life, but when I would take these women home, I would help them. Give them money, better housing, and found them good jobs that wouldn’t require them to do what they had been doing. Until my mother found out.”
I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was too late. My hand lifted and I let my fingers drift across Aria’s cheek until one finger trailed to her bottom lip. She was soft and that lip felt plump. My mouth watered to taste it.
“Do you want to kiss me, Alex?” Aria asked, her voice a whisper but rough around the edge.
In my head, I had answered her question a thousand times. But in that moment, I couldn’t utter a word.
I moved toward her, scooting as close a
s I could before I dipped my nose to her cheek. Aria was the world and I inhaled. Instead of the satisfaction I thought I would find from her scent, I desired more. I brushed my lips over her temple and it was like kissing silk.
“God, you’re sweet. So sweet,” I mumbled.
“You haven’t even tasted me yet,” Aria said causing something to snap inside me.
Perhaps it was the years of frustration or how long I had wanted her, but I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want to be the good guy anymore.
My fingers moved from my knee to the back of her head and within seconds, she was moaning as I curled my fingers into her hair, forcing her head back. I lifted my head and found her darkening brown eyes, opening wide for me. Her face was all lust, pain, and fear bound together into a few perfect features.
“Do you want me to taste you, Aria? Is that why you’re here . . . for my tongue?”
Her fingernails curled into my shoulders as she held onto me. Fuck, it hurt but felt so incredible.
She wanted sweet Alex but didn’t realize a monster would come out. I tried to pretend I could be normal. Hoped if I met the right woman I would be so attracted to her that I wouldn’t want to act this way. I wouldn’t be so fucking aroused by all this.
“No,” she said and I loosened my grip on her hair.
I knew I would frighten her. How I desire a woman, it’s not normal. After today, I would probably never see Aria again.
Sitting back, I studied the grooves of the dark wood on the floor. There was something soothing about the natural grain as it meandered lazily. I needed to focus on something to bring me back from that high of tasting Aria.
“Alex, what are you doing?”
She deserved an explanation. Forcing her like that, I didn’t want her to leave scared of me. Even if she didn’t like how I was, the last thing I wanted to do was frighten Aria.
“I’m sorry, Aria. I got carried away. Please don’t think I wanted to hurt you.” I finally got the courage to lift my head and face her.
Her brow wrinkled. “You didn’t hurt me, Alex. I admit I was surprised at what happened but nothing you did hurt.”
That was a relief.
“Good. I know what I did was wrong. I understand if you never want to see me again.”
Everything happened so quickly. Her touch and how she softened as I talked about those past women, it felt almost unreal. I never thought she would understand why I helped those women. The way my mom put it, I was crazy for wanting to help people who could never change.
She believed that, always had, but I never did. I knew there were choices people made in life, tough choices that they didn’t necessarily want to make, but life forced them to do it.
The way Aria looked at me, for the first time in my life I felt understood. In my mother’s eyes, I’m still a sad, foolish little boy. But, for that moment, I was seen as a good person. As a man.
And then I had to ruin it by extinguishing the light and turning everything black.
Her hand moved to my chin, turning it so she could gaze into my eyes. They shone, big and brown, crinkling at the edge with a smile. “Now why would I never want to see you again, Alex? That was the hottest non-kiss I have ever had. For a virgin, you seem to know what you are doing.”
What?
“I didn’t scare you?”
Her hand slipped down. Her fingers trailed down my neck until she placed her palm on my chest. It was warm and I ached for that heat.
“No. I was hoping for more.” Aria bit her bottom lip as she tilted her head.
“What do you want?” I had to ask.
This was all so much. It was better than any fantasy I had.
Her eyes dipped to where her hand rested on my chest. “I should be asking you that. You’re the virgin.”
My mind raced with every thought I had ever had about this woman for the past three years. But one stood tall. It was the worst one because it was never a fantasy but cold reality.
“I may not know exactly what my mother has told you but I have a pretty good idea. If she’s paying you to help me, don’t bother.” I lifted her wrist, removing her hand from my heart.
I wanted Aria but not like that.
She stood and placed her hands on her hips. “Seriously? I know we may not have known each other for a long time, Alex. But I believe I made it clear at several points in our short time knowing each other that my friendship, or anything more, can’t be bought.”
Shaking her head, she turned and glanced around the room. Aria went over to pick up her purse and sketch pad while mumbling, “And here I was trying to get you to fire me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Aria.” I got up and went to grab her arm so she would look at me. “It’s just, every woman who has tried anything with me has been paid by my mother. You told me you talked to her. That she told you I was a virgin. I just assumed—”
“What? That trying to get you to hate me is my seduction technique?” Aria asked, her eyes wide.
“I don’t know. Why did you want me to hate you?”
I frowned because deep down I knew why. There was only one reason. and it wasn’t that I was a virgin, it was my mother. Who would want to be anywhere near a man with a controlling, crazy mother like mine? Sometimes I wish she had been the one to die in that plane crash, along with my father, and left me an orphan.
I hated myself when those thoughts went through my head.
“Because, Alex, look at your life. Look at your family. You have all the money in the world yet you don’t live. That woman controls you and you let her. My father tried to control me. I understand what you are going through but I made a choice. I chose to leave and never look back.” She pushed out of my grasp and walked to the doorway.
Just as she was about to turn the corner she said, “You could make that choice too but instead, you put up a mural.”
FIFTEEN
Aria
“That was delicious.” I smiled as I wiped my mouth with a napkin.
“Yeah, I’ve been craving sausage lately. It’s too bad Drake is in New York missing all the good sausage,” Evaleen said leaning back in her wooden chair.
“Maybe Morgana isn’t.” I wiggled my eyebrows.
We both laughed.
“I miss Drake but being in the office for the past two weeks has been a dream come true since Payne isn’t there.” Evaleen’s smile widened so far that I wondered if her cheeks would crack.
I wish I could be that happy. Since my fight two weeks ago with Alex, the joy had seemed to disappear from my life. I even went back to my job at the bar and picked up a couple of shifts just to keep busy. But that didn’t last long. Word had gotten out that A. Hawthorne bought my paintings. It seemed everyone who ordered a drink from me at the bar happened to own a gallery that would love to show my work.
Eventually, Sally, the manager, had to sneak me out the back to avoid the art groupies.
“I’m sorry, Dixon, I didn’t mean to rub my delight of a Payne-less life in your face. You seem down,” Evaleen said.
“It’s times like these I wish I had Morgana to talk to. Her parents are going to visit her in New York next week, maybe I’ll tag along.”
“You can always talk to me. I’m your friend, too.” She reached over and placed her hand over mine.
Would Evaleen even understand? It’s not like she’s the one-night stand type. But, maybe she could understand Alex’s point of view.
“It involves sex with a wealthy man, Evaleen. Are you sure you want to discuss that?”
She rolled her eyes. “I told you I was a—”
I waved my hand at her. “Yeah, yeah, so you say. Okay, let’s pretend this is a book. The hero is locked away in a tower on top of a high mountain by his evil mother.”
“Stepmother,” Evaleen said.
“No, his mother. Why does it have to be a stepmother?”
“That’s usually how it goes in books; I don’t know why. Especially in fairy tales—like Cinde
rella or Snow White—it is always the evil stepmother.”
I groaned. “Okay, fine, stepmother. So, the heroine of the story makes it up the mountain and into the tower. But when she gets there to kiss the hero and save him, he insults her. Oh, he knew that she would never take money for sex but he assumed it anyway.”
Evaleen’s blue eyes wandered around the room before she narrowed them at me. “I’m a little lost. Are we still talking about the fairy tale or something else? Why would the heroine take money for sex?”
I slammed my hand on the square wooden table. “My point exactly!”
Evaleen stared at me for a moment in silence before she said, “Maybe you do need to speak with Drake about this. I’m so lost.”
Why was I so angry? It made sense that Alex would assume his mother had paid me based on his entire history with women. Yet, I was so angry that he would think that of me.
Because you care for him more than you should, Aria.
It wasn’t Alex I was angry at, it was me. More importantly, my heart. My silly heart and its need to have feelings for a big, sexy man who was born into a crazy family.
“I see him,” Evaleen said through gritted teeth.
“What?”
“That hoodie guy from a month and a half ago. He’s doing a piss poor job of trying to hide behind a plant. What’s he like, six foot three and that plant is five foot at best?”
I turned to see what she was staring at. Evaleen was right. Alex was huddling behind a green potted plant that stood near the hallway to the restrooms.
He looked ridiculous—like a bear trying to hide behind a folding chair. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Alex, is that you?” I called.
His breathtaking gray eyes popped up, widening in surprise. He shook his head.
Evaleen and I stood. We walked over to him, cornering him.
“Yes, it is you. Why are you here?”
My smile faded as he stretched to his full height. Warmth bloomed between my legs and I couldn’t remember anything about our fight. It was something about sex. Why would I fight him on sex?
One Wild Ride Page 8