by Cheryl Howe
“I’ve missed you. Did you receive any of my letters? Father had been pinching them, but I figured a way to sneak them past him.” She searched his face and could not find an ounce of happiness to see her. His gaze remained dark, unfathomable.
Robert suddenly let her go and stepped away.
“In my letter I told you my father wanted me to marry an earl.” Arianna rubbed her abused wrists, but her pride had been so much more offended.
“But you failed to mention it was my grandfather,” he said through nearly gritted teeth.
“I had no idea until I found out who would be performing the ceremony. Please tell me it’s not true. I’m sure my father is only trying to torture me.”
“Which part of this complicated story did you just become clear on?” Robert retreated to the bridge’s opposite railing. “That you are marrying my grandfather or that I will be performing the ceremony? They are both true.”
“None of this is my fault. My father has planned this all my life. I have been under virtual house arrest for over a month.”
“You were certainly flirtatious for a woman who had a betrothed all this time. Your father should have kept you under lock and key sooner instead of allowing you to roam the halls of Guy’s Hospital, disturbing the sanity of men of science and letters.”
Having backed himself against the railing, Arianna stepped to him and pinned him there. She slid her arms around his waist under his stiff black coat, and pressed her head on his chest. No longer did the scent of ink, ale and musty libraries cling to his neatly pressed clothes. Dear God, he had begun to smell like a minister. Polishing wax, red wine and incense. She lifted her head to look into his face.
Robert did not return her embrace, but neither did he brush her away. He stared down at her, his dark gaze a combination of naked desire and horrified fascination.
“So I disturb your sanity Reverend Fitzgerald?”
“Yes, you do.” He lifted his hands and squeezed her shoulders, then forcefully guided her a couple of steps back. “Are you mad to go traipsing around at night without an escort? I would not have met you at all but I was terrified you would be accosted by Lord knows whom. I’d have gone directly to your father if I knew where you were staying.”
“We’re just down the road at an old inn on the outskirts of the village. It’s shocking my father would stay in such a place, but he wants to be close to Westhaven. He’s literally blockaded the earl, afraid he will sneak off without marrying me. The old man can hardly tolerate my presence.”
“I seriously doubt that.” Robert’s grip loosened and he slid his hands down her arms.
She cupped his face, turned her mouth up to his. “You look different, Robert.”
“You don’t.” He curled his long fingers around the back of her neck, rubbed her throat with his thumb. Arianna closed her eyes and slightly parted her lips. He brushed her lips with his own, but pulled away too soon.
She crushed his stiffly pressed lapels in her fists, stood on her toes while drawing him down. This might be her last chance to be alone with Robert and she kissed him with a fervor she never dared show, tempting him with a soft flick of her tongue.
His hands moved up, closed tightly on her shoulders, and Arianna was sure he would set her away from him. To her shock, he jerked her against him. He pressed a hand against her lower back, dominating the kiss and bending them both over the rail she had had him trapped against. All Arianna could do was hold onto his shoulders. Every nerve ending fired in unison.
Abruptly, just as a hot flush began to spread over her body, up her limbs, Robert jerked away and retreated to the other side of the bridge once more.
“You need to get home before your father finds you missing.” He hung his head over the water, breathing in the mist from the dark brook below.
“He thinks I’m safely locked in my room.” Arianna took a shaky step toward him. If he had experienced anything like what she had, he would have no choice but to kiss her again. “He won’t check for me until the morning. Is there someplace when can go? Where are you staying?”
He turned and she took another step towards him.
“I am staying with your future husband at Westhaven House,” he said too quietly.
“It’s a large house, isn’t it?”
“Yes it is, but not big enough for the both of us. I plan to clean out the rectory and move in there before you arrive.”
“You can’t, please.” She braved his change in mood and grabbed both his hands.
“You ask too much of me, Miss Maddox. Our flirtation is over.” His words rang with harsh finality, but he did not let go of her grip.
“I want to be your lover.”
“What?” He tried to pull his hands from hers, but her firm grasp was hard to break.
“I am no foolish girl. I know what I speak of.”
“No, Arianna. You don’t know me very well at all.”
“I shall be married to a man old enough to be my grandfather. Is that fair?”
“I will not cuckold my grandfather.”
“Then make love to me, now, before the wedding. I want you to show me what it’s like to be a woman. I want it to be you.”
He shook his head and took a step back. “I’m returning you to the inn and your father.”
“I love you.” She hated the desperation she heard in her voice.
“I am sorry if I led you astray.” His hard gaze was that of a stranger. “My feelings don’t run that deep. Come along. I have things to do tomorrow. I’ve no time to spend chasing after a wayward child.”
Robert strode past her towards her equally disobedient mount.
Arianna watched his retreating form, unable to accept his cool dismissal. She knew there were worse things than being forced to marry a grumpy old man. She struggled not to cry, and managed to hold her head high. He secured her horse that had been enjoying the tender grass by the stream, then brought it to her. Robert held the reins while cupping his hands to help Arianna onto the saddle.
Arianna leaped from Robert’s offered step and onto her mount. She kicked her heels into her horse’s side, barely avoiding running Robert over as he tried to grab for the bridle. The horse found the well-worn trail she’d followed from the inn. Arianna grabbed the horse’s mane, hung on and spurred it into full gallop as the reins dangled out of reach. Wind and tears blinded her vision.
The rapid beat of the horse’s hooves could not drown out the ugly truth. Robert did not love her, he never had and it seemed he never would.
***
Ivy listened to Darien slowly climb the pine steps to the bedroom. Dawn’s healing light had deserted her completely as the endless night dragged on. She only had to blink to adjust her sight to the darkened room and spy Melody through the willow branches of her crib. Violin music had drifted from the yard for hours. After a half-hour of silence, Ivy braced herself for Darien to finally come to bed.
The door creaked open and Ivy closed her eyes, feigning sleep. She must be mistaken. Melody could not be Darien’s child. There had to be another explanation. There had to be.
He crept across the floorboards. In their short time together, she had come to recognize the sounds of his movements, a squeak here, a pop of his ankle there. How could she look into his eyes and not tell him her suspicions regarding Melody? If he thought he might have a daughter, he would be fiercely protective, claiming her to anyone who would listen. Unfortunately, such unbridled devotion would wreak irrevocable damage for Melody’s future. But did Ivy have a right to keep such information from him?
Darien paused by the crib and stared down at Melody. A wound opened in Ivy’s heart that could not possibly be closed without losing her basic humanity or Melody forever. Not telling Darien the truth, even if it were just suspicion, was betraying him all over again. But if she left for America with Melody, the daughter he would never know, Darien would truly and justly have reason to hate her.
Darien walked around to the other side of the bed. Diana
wanted Ivy to have Melody and raise her as her own. That had been clear. In recalling her words, she had mentioned the child would only cause the family sorrow. If Darien were the father, Diana had not wanted him to know, that much was clear.
Ivy kept her back to him, forced herself to take deep even breaths. His weight settled on the mattress. He hardly disturbed the covers as he slipped beneath them.
To withhold the truth about Melody, if it was indeed the truth, would ruin any chance of ever healing their long held rift. She would depart for America with a stain on her conscience that she knew would haunt her more than her broken engagement. Darien had made a horrible mistake in ever loving her.
Ivy shut her eyes tightly to stop the tears leaking from the corners.
Darien gently draped his arm around her, spooning behind her. His full erection snuggled against her backside. He sighed deeply and lay perfectly still.
Though his intention was obviously not to wake her, she could not feign sleep any longer. She turned and faced him, entwined her legs with his, parting her legs so his hard cock could find its way between her thighs.
It would have been better if Melody and Darien had never seen each other. They had already developed the tiniest thread of a relationship. How could she deny Melody a father that surely would love her like she deserved?
“Your father seemed upset tonight. About Diana,” Ivy blurted into the dark. She had to know the truth. It was the only way through this.
“I imagine he was. Westhaven abandoned her when my mother became ill.” Darien trailed kisses up her neck, trying to possess her mouth. Ivy turned her head away.
“I wonder if he knew …” Ivy paused, knowing Diana would not want anyone to think her anything but a highly sought after temptress up until the very end. “Of her health problems,” Ivy finally said.
“It’s possible that he didn’t.” Darien suddenly rolled over onto his back. “I didn’t. Or rather I didn’t want to know how bad her circumstances had become. She claimed she moved to the East End to get away from the reporters who hounded her every move. I believed her because I wanted to. She wouldn’t take money from me, you know.”
Ivy braced herself on her elbow so she could study his face. Her eyes had gotten rather used to seeing in the dark. “So you were sampling her services? Did your father know?”
“It wasn’t like that.” He rose on his elbow to meet her gaze, brushed his thumb across her lips. “I went to Diana after I heard the rumors that you had become my father’s mistress.”
“Darien,” she began.
“Let me finish,” he said softly. He rolled her over and poised on top of her. His forearms braced on either side of her head. He used his knees to part her thighs. Despite her need to interrogate him, she let him settle his hips against hers. His heat felt too good. Ivy trailed her fingers down the muscles of his back.
“I went to Diana when I heard the rumors about you and my father. I was so furious and ripped apart. I thought sleeping with her would make us even or something equally absurd like that. She humored me, gave me more whiskey until I passed out. She told me that it was all a lie, a rumor that served the purpose of alienating us from each other.”
“And you believed her?” Ivy held her breath.
“I was not sure, but now I am.” He brushed her lips with his own. “Over the years I realized the truth.”
“I was destroyed by those rumors.” Though she had forced herself to take responsibility for her unorthodox choices, speaking out against that particular injustice was like dislodging a boulder from her throat. “A romantic liaison was not part of your father’s bargain. He paid off my father’s gambling debts that had quadrupled with the promise that he would be coming into money once his daughter married the heir to Westhaven. My father must have started racking up credits the moment news of Philip’s death reached London.”
“And then there was Marcus.”
“You have no idea, Darien.” Ivy shoved his shoulders, but he kept her pinned beneath him.
“Forgive me. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want to fight with you. Perhaps I never should have brought you to Devon. My home. I don’t know what I expected to accomplish.” He kissed her forehead. Nuzzled her ear. His voice right next to her ear sounded distant.
“I love you, Darien. I loved you then. And I love you now.” Ivy shouldn’t have said it. Tried to stop herself but couldn’t. It was obvious that he would never forget the past, never truly be able to forgive her, despite their feelings for each other. Sometimes love wasn’t enough, she knew.
He stared down at her, absorbing her words. Slowly, he lowered his head and kissed her in earnest. She returned the firm press of his mouth. The wild brush of his tongue. His body stirred against her thigh. He shifted his weight and dragged kisses down her neck. Ivy arched beneath him and helped him remove her sheer nightgown. He found her nipple and sucked, slipping a single finger inside her. She bucked against him, riding his soft rhythmic thrusts.
He eased another finger past her tender lips. Her body tightened around him, and she gasped at the flood of pleasure. She gripped his fingers with her inner muscles, aching to be filled, to be swept away until she forgot the past and the future. Be consumed by Darien and only exist in the present moment.
He rose above her, possessed her mouth at the same time he plunged into her slick entrance. Even though she was primed for him, Ivy gasped at his rough entry. Her body responded with a flood of wet heat. He paused above her to gaze into her eyes, his hard cock filling her. He pulled out and thrust again, hard and deep. His gaze never wavered from hers.
The sudden intensity of his lovemaking forced Ivy to hold onto his shoulders. She wrapped her legs around his hips, desperate to take all of him. Darien pounded into her, almost mirroring her need to hold on to whatever they had of each other. Too soon, Ivy felt all her control slipping away, her world focused on the thick desire spreading from their fierce connection. Her sex spasmed around him, and she came with an anguished cry into his neck. When she opened her eyes, he stilled, poised above her. His face strained from his need for release, but remained strangely serious.
“I am afraid to let myself fully love you again, Ivy. But I want you, there’s no denying it. I can’t stop wanting you.”
He moved inside her. Slowing his pace then quickening it. Drawing each stroke out to the last inch, then thrusting forward until he pressed home as far as he could. Ivy braced her feet on the bed and met his raw need with her own. She snaked her hand under his thigh to find his balls tight and ready to explode.
He reacted to her touch with a quick intake of breath and a long moan. He stiffened, then came in racking shudders.
After his breathing normalized, he kissed her cheek in an almost chaste goodbye. He abruptly rolled onto his back, not touching her at all.
Ivy tuned to her side and watched him.
“Was that so bad?” she teased. He glanced at her but didn’t smile. She traced his lips with a shaking finger. “What’s wrong, Darien?”
He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. “I feel like we should be in mourning or something.”
“I had no idea you were so close to Diana.” Though Ivy had schooled herself in the last several hours to not ask any more leading questions tonight, she just couldn’t help herself. Not even the physical sedation of her body could stop the turbulent spinning in her mind. “I don’t know why she never mentioned your acquaintance. Especially to me. She knew how I felt about you.”
“She wanted me to find you. Make love to you until you could do nothing but be my virtual slave. How am I getting along so far?”
Ivy laughed because that sounded so much like Diana. “She had a unique sense of romance.”
“She thought it was a crime that my love for you was unconsummated. I’ll miss her.”
“Me too. When did you see her last?” Ivy asked as casually as possible.
“I don’t know. A year ago or so. After my mother died. Perhaps a few months
after that. I think Diana secretly hoped the earl would come back to her.”
“You two were good friends.”
“As good as you and Marcus.”
“I thought you said you weren’t lovers.”
“I fucked her. Take what you want from that.”
Darien rolled over and showed her his back.
“Why? To get back at your father?” she said angrily.
“Because she was there and she wasn’t you.”
The edge in his voice chilled Ivy. Perhaps she didn’t know Darien at all. She certainly hadn’t known he had a relationship with Diana. And he hadn’t returned her declaration of love, though she tried to tell herself she hadn’t expected it. Darien’s unrequited love was always a hallmark of their relationship, or so she thought.
“Why are you so angry with me? You knew my situation. You of all people should have guessed the pressure on me to find a way to pay my father’s debts. I could not abandon my family.”
“You betrayed me, Ivy. You abandoned me when I needed you most. Yes, I know you did it for your family, but I thought we were more important than even that.”
“So you’ll never forgive me. I can never make it up to you.”
“No, I am afraid I will forgive you. I never thought I would but…I don’t know what will happen to me if I can’t hate you at least a little. I never want to love anything like I loved you. It might destroy me.”
Ivy rolled on to her side with her back to Darien. Melody slept soundly in her crib. The dark night had turned a hazy blue. She should try to get at least an hour’s sleep before Melody awakened, though after Darien’s words, she knew that would be nearly impossible. As if sensing the damage he’d done, he wrapped an arm around her waist and scooped her against him. She leaned into him, unwilling to give up a stolen moment with Darien. He need not worry. Ivy could provide plenty of reasons for him to hate her if he really needed one. She would take his daughter, settle in America and never look back again. She had no choice.