MECHE: You aren’t going to have much success with me if you say such disgusting things, Lituma.
LITUMA: I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have asked you that. But, doesn’t it seem unfair? Josefino behaves so boorishly with women. He knocks them around, they fall in love with him, and when he’s got them really hooked, he sends them out to whore for him. And in spite of that, he still gets the ones he wants. Yet someone like me, who’s an honest, well-meaning, gentlemanly sort, who’d be prepared to treat any woman who loved him like precious china, never gets any attention at all. I ask you, is that fair?
MECHE: It may not be fair. But is anything in life fair?
LITUMA: Is it because I’m ugly that they don’t pay any attention to me, Mechita?
MECHE: (Making fun of him) Here. Let me have a look at you. No, you’re not that ugly, Lituma.
LITUMA: Please be serious with me. I’m telling you things I’ve never told anyone in my life before.
(MECHE looks at him for a moment mistrustfully.)
MECHE: Did you fall in love with me the first time you saw me?
LITUMA: (nodding) I didn’t sleep all night. In the darkness, I kept seeing you. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I thought women like you only existed in the cinema. I worked myself up into such a state that I even cried, Mechita. I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve lain awake, thinking about you.
MECHE: And you say you don’t know how to talk to women. It’s beautiful, what you’re telling me.
(LITUMA puts his hand in his pocket and takes out a small photograph.)
LITUMA: Look. I always carry you around with me.
MECHE: Where did you get that photo from?
LITUMA: I stole it from Josefino. It’s a bit faded – with all the kissing I’ve given it.
MECHE: (Stroking his head again) Why didn’t you ever say anything to me before, silly?
LITUMA: We’ve still time, haven’t we? Marry me, Mechita. Let’s leave Piura. Let’s start a new life.
MECHE: But you’re broke, Lituma. Like the rest of the superstuds. And you’ve never done a day’s work in your life, either.
LITUMA: Because I’ve never had anyone to push me, to make me change the way I live. You don’t think I enjoy being a superstud, do you? Marry me – you’ll see how different I can be, Mechita. I’ll work hard, I’ll do anything. You’ll always have everything you want.
MECHE: Would we go to Lima?
LITUMA: To Lima, yes. Or wherever you want.
MECHE: I’ve always wanted to go to Lima. It’s such a large city, Josefino would never find us.
LITUMA: Of course not. And besides what would it matter if he did find us? Are you afraid of him?
MECHE: Yes.
LITUMA: With me you wouldn’t be. He’s quite harmless, really, he’s just a loud mouth. I know him very well – we were kids together. He’s not from round here, of course – he’s from the Gallinacera. There, they’re all talk and no action.
MECHE: Well, he’s not all talk with me. He sometimes beats me practically unconscious. If I left him to go away with you, he’d kill me.
LITUMA: Nonsense, Meche. He’d get himself another woman, just like that. Let’s go to Lima. Tonight.
MECHE: (tempted) Tonight?
LITUMA: We’ll catch the bus from the Cruz de Chalpón. Come on.
MECHE: Shall we get married?
LITUMA: As soon as we get to Lima, I promise you. It’s the first thing we’ll do. Would you like that? Shall we go? (Pause.)
MECHE: Let’s go. We’ll never return to Piura. I hope I won’t live to regret this one day, Lituma.
LITUMA: (Kneeling again) I promise you never will, Mechita. Thank you, thank you. Ask me for something, anything you want, just tell me to do something.
MECHE: Get up, we’ve no time to waste. Go and pack your suitcase, and buy the tickets. Wait for me at the Cruz de Chalpón bus station. Halfway up Avenida Grau, all right? I’ll be there, just before twelve.
LITUMA: Where are you going?
MECHE: I can’t just leave without taking anything with me. I’m going to fetch my things. Just a few essentials.
LITUMA: I’ll come with you.
MECHE: No, it’s not necessary. Josefino is in the Casa Verde and he never gets back till dawn – I’ve got more than enough time. We mustn’t be seen together on the street though, no one must suspect a thing.
LITUMA: (Kissing her hands) Mechita, Mechita, darling. I’m so happy I can’t believe it’s true. (Crosses himself, looks at the sky.) Thank you God, dear sweet God. From now on I’m going to be different, I’m going to stop being lazy – I’m going to stop gambling, living it up, lying … I swear to you …
MECHE: (Pushing him) Come on, hurry up, we’re wasting time, Lituma. Quickly, run …
LITUMA: Yes, yes, whatever you say, Mechita.
(He gets up hurriedly, rushes towards the staircase, but there he loses his impetus. He slows down – comes to a halt – and slowly returns to the gambling table, weary and sad. The superstuds do not notice him. Once again the central focus is on them, as they continue to gamble, swear and drink toasts to each other.)
Fantasies on a crime
EL MONO: And why not? Lituma’s right, it could have happened like that. Just shut your eyes for a moment and imagine Mechita: she rushes into the house looking frantically around to left and right, her little buttocks all clenched with fear.
JOSE: She starts to throw things into her suitcase at breakneck speed, trembling all over, tripping over the furniture, packing the wrong things, unpacking them again, panic-stricken at the thought that at any moment who might arrive but the Great Pimp himself. Out of sheer anxiety her little nipples have become as hard as pebbles. Scrumptious.
JOSEFINO: (Laughing) And then what? Go on. What happened next?
LITUMA: Then you arrived. Before she finished packing.
JOSEFINO: And I killed her because I caught her packing her suitcase?
EL MONO: No. That would have been your excuse. You killed her because you were furious at the way things had turned out. Remember, I’d practically taken the shirt off your back. Shit, if I ever have another hand like the one I had that night. Holy Whore!
JOSE: Or maybe you got an attack of jealousy. Perhaps Meche told you that Chunga had made her so happy that she was going to come and live with her.
JOSEFINO: I wouldn’t have killed her for that. I’d probably have sent Chunga some flowers. And a postcard saying: ‘Congratulations. You won.’ I’m a bloody fine sport you know!
LA CHUNGA: (From her armchair, yawning) It’s nearly twelve and I’m tired. Last orders.
LITUMA: Quiet, Chunga, you’re ruining my inspiration. When you saw she was in the middle of packing, you asked her, ‘Off for a little holiday then, are we?’ ‘I’m leaving you,’ she said.
JOSEFINO: And why would she leave me? She was completely besotted with me.
LITUMA: (Serious and self-absorbed, not hearing him) ‘I’m leaving you because I’m in love with a better man than you.’
JOSEFINO: Better than me? And where did she dig up this … paragon?
LITUMA: ‘Someone who won’t beat me, someone who’ll be faithful to me, and be good to me. Someone who’s not a bastard or a pimp, but who’s decent and honest. And, what’s more, who’s prepared to marry me.’
JOSEFINO: What a fantastic load of crap. None of you lot can find a single good reason why I should have killed Mechita.
LITUMA: You were beside yourself with rage, Josefino. So you laid into her savagely. You probably only intended to give her a trouncing. But you got carried away and finished the poor little thing off.
JOSEFINO: I see. And what the hell did I do with the body?
EL MONO: You threw it in the river.
JOSEFINO: It was September. The river is dry in September. What did I do with the body? Come on, guess. Tell me how I committed my perfect crime?
JOSE: You buried it in the sand, behind your hou
se.
EL MONO: You threw it to the dogs – those German beasts that guard Senor Beckman’s warehouse. They wouldn’t even leave the small bones.
JOSE: OK, I’m bored with these detective games. Let’s go down to the Casa Verde for a quick one. Coming?
JOSEFINO: Why go so far, when you’ve got Chunga there? Go on, give her a taste of what she likes.
LA CHUNGA: I’ll tell him who he can give ‘a taste of what she likes’ to, Josefino, you bastard.
JOSEFINO: Are you insulting my mother by any chance, Chunga? Now that’s one thing I won’t stand for.
LA CHUNGA: Then don’t you insult me.
EL MONO: Take no notice of him, Chunguita. You’ve got to make allowances. He’s from the Gallinacera, remember.
JOSE: It’s a pity you’re always so bad-tempered, Chunga. Specially with us, who are so fond of you. You know you’re our lucky mascot.
(EL MONO gets up without his friends noticing and approaches LA CHUNGA.)
EL MONO: These tykes are always getting under your skin, aren’t they, Chunga? You’ve got to forgive them – they’re just a bunch of ignoramuses. But I always behave myself, don’t I? I hope you’ve noticed that. I don’t upset you, or make fun of you – and I don’t join in when they’re annoying you either. I love you very much, Chunga.
LA CHUNGA: (Looking at him compassionately) You don’t have to put on that good-little-boy act with me. What’s the point? I’m going to give you a good time, whatever you do. Come, give me your hand.
(She takes his hand and leads him to the staircase. She goes up with him. He looks happy; his eyes have lit up, like a child who’s about to satisfy a burning ambition. The superstuds carry on gambling with El Mono’s ghost.)
A naughty little boy
MECHE: Hello, Monito.
EL MONO: Hello, Meche.
LA CHUNGA: Come in, don’t be afraid, we’re not going to hurt you.
EL MONO: I know you’re both very kind.
MECHE: Come and sit down here, beside me.
(EL MONO sits on the bed, next to MECHE. LA CHUNGA sits on the other side. The two women treat EL MONO as if he were a spoilt child, and he too, in his expression and behaviour, seems to have regressed to childhood. A sigh escapes him. And another. It would appear something is preying on his mind, something he would like to share with them, but doesn’t dare.)
LA CHUNGA: Relax, make yourself at home. Now what’s on your mind? Don’t be shy, you’re the boss. Your wish is our command.
MECHE: We’re here to please you in whatever way we can. Now, what turns you on?
LA CHUNGA: Do you want us to do a striptease for you, Monito?
MECHE: Want us to dance together naked, just for you?
EL MONO: (Hiding his face in horror) No. No. Please.
LA CHUNGA: (Pointing at the bed) Would you like us to go to bed together, the three of us, with you in the middle?
MECHE: Like us to stroke you, until you shout, ‘Stop, stop, I can’t stand any more?’
LA CHUNGA: Do you want us to pose for you?
EL MONO: (Laughing, very nervously) Don’t joke like that, please, it embarrasses me. (Overcome by a sudden attack of melancholy) You’re such good people, Chunga, Mechita. I’m sorry I’m behaving like this, but I’m not like you. I … I’m a shit.
LA CHUNGA: Don’t say that. It’s not true.
MECHE: A bit of a clown, perhaps. But you’re a good boy really, Monito.
EL MONO: You’re wrong. I’m not good at all. I’m one of the worst, filthiest little boys around. And don’t try and tell me I’m not. You see, the trouble is, neither of you really knows. If I were to tell you …
LA CHUNGA: Come on then, tell us.
MECHE: You want us to comfort you? Is that what you want?
EL MONO: I don’t want to force you into anything. Only if you insist …
(LA CHUNGA makes him rest his head on her lap. EL MONO curls up like a frightened child.)
LA CHUNGA: Come on, rest your head here. Make yourself comfortable.
MECHE: (In a soft, caressing voice) Tell us, Monito.
EL MONO: (Nervously, and with great difficulty) I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I was very young, a little boy in short trousers.
LA CHUNGA: Are you talking about what happened with the little girl next door? Dona Jesusa’s daughter.
EL MONO: I was only a little boy. Do little boys act sensibly?
MECHE: Of course not, Monito. So, carry on. I’ll help you. You were keeping watch – waiting for Dona Jesusa to go out to the market, to her vegetable stall …
LA CHUNGA: And when she came out, you went into her house without anyone seeing you. Jumping over the bamboo fence by the banana plantation. Wasn’t that it?
EL MONO: Yes. And there she was, squatting down, milking the goat. She was squeezing its teats. Like this. And she wasn’t wearing any knickers, Chunga! I swear it!
MECHE: Don’t worry, we believe you. So you saw everything.
EL MONO: Or rather she showed me everything, Mechita. Why else would she be knickerless? Why else would she be? So that people would see her little thing, so that she could show it off to the men.
LA CHUNGA: Do you mean that she provoked you, Monito? Then you’re not to blame for anything. She was asking for it, the dirty brazen little hussy.
MECHE: Is that what you wanted to tell us? That it was all her fault?
EL MONO: (Sadly) Well, no. I was a little bit to blame, too. I mean I did sneak secretly into Dona Jesusa’s house, didn’t I? That’s what burglars do, isn’t it?
LA CHUNGA: But you didn’t go in to steal anything, Monito.
EL MONO: No. I just went in to see the girl.
MECHE: Did you want to see her naked?
EL MONO: I was only small, you understand. I didn’t know what I was doing. I couldn’t yet tell the difference between right and wrong.
LA CHUNGA: But you had a knife, this long, Mono. Remember?
EL MONO: I remember.
MECHE: Didn’t you feel sorry for the girl? Not even when she smiled at you, thinking that it was just an innocent little prank.
EL MONO: It was an innocent little prank. But she had no knickers on, Meche. She provoked me. She led me on …
LA CHUNGA: (Admonishing him, not very severely) Come on, tell us the truth, Monito. She did have knickers on. You made her take them off.
MECHE: By threatening to kill her. Yes or no, Monito?
EL MONO: Well, perhaps. It’s a long time ago now. I’ve forgotten.
LA CHUNGA: Lies. You haven’t forgotten. You tore off her dress and ordered her to take down her knickers. And when she did, you saw what you wanted to see. Isn’t that it, Monito?
EL MONO: (Ashamed) Yes, Chunguita.
MECHE: And you fondled her, didn’t you? And you felt her all over. Yes or no?
EL MONO: (Distressed) But I didn’t rape her, Meche. I swear to Almighty God I didn’t rape her. Not that.
LA CHUNGA: You didn’t rape her? Well, what did you do then? Doesn’t it come to the same thing?
EL MONO: (Laughing) How can it be the same thing! Don’t be silly, Chunga. (Lowering his voice and lifting a finger to his lips, going shhht! shhht! as if he were going to reveal a great secret) I put it up her little one, don’t you see? But she remained intact where it counted. There wasn’t a blemish, not even a scratch, it was all in one piece for her husband to break on the night of his wedding. It’s a very important distinction. Ask Padre García if you like. ‘If the hymen isn’t broken, I’ll absolve you. But if it is, there’s no excuse, you little so-and-so, you’ll have to marry Jesusa’s little girl.’ Well, she didn’t marry me, in other words … You women keep your honour in that tiny little treasure chest – that’s why you must protect it, tooth and nail. But we men, on the other hand, keep our honour round the other side. And woe betide anyone who gets it up his little one, because bingo, he’s buggered for the rest of his life. (LA CHUNGA and MECHE look at him, teasing and silent — and he becomes
sad and remorseful. He sits up.)
Yes, it’s true, you’re right about what you’re thinking. It was very wicked what I did to the little girl. I could fool Padre García, but not you. I know that when I die, God will punish me for it.
LA CHUNGA: Why wait so long, Monito?
MECHE: We could punish you now.
(EL MONO takes off his belt and gives it to her. He adopts a position suitable for being whipped.)
All right. Take away all my filth — make me pay for my wickedness. Don’t spare me. Take away my honour, Chunga, Mechita.
LA CHUNGA and MECHE: (As they beat him) Naughty little boy! You bad-mannered child! You beastly little boy! You depraved child! Vicious little boy! Wicked child! Degenerate!
(EL MONO groans, receives the strokes, cowering, sweating with a sense of enjoyment that culminates in a spasm of ecstacy. MECHE and LA CHUNGA sit down and watch him. Satisfied but melancholy, he stands up, wipes his forehead, puts on his belt again and combs his hair. Without looking at them he leaves the room discreetly and takes his place again at the table of the superstuds.)
LA CHUNGA: Are you going without even saying goodbye or thank you, Monito?
MECHE: Come back and tell us more whenever you like, Monito.
Two friends
As soon as EL MONO disappears from the room, MECHE and LA CHUNGA change their demeanour, as if the previous scene had not taken place.
LA CHUNGA: Some are better actors than others. But you only have to scratch a little beneath the surface, and there’s a wild beast waiting to pounce.
MECHE: Do you think all men are like that, Chunga? Have they all got something nasty to hide?
LA CHUNGA: All the ones I know do.
MECHE: Are we women any better?
LA CHUNGA: At least what we’ve got between our legs doesn’t turn us into foul demons.
MECHE: (Touching her stomach) Then I hope to goodness it’s a girl.
LA CHUNGA: Are you pregnant?
MECHE: I haven’t had a period for two months.
LA CHUNGA: Haven’t you been to see anyone?
MECHE: I’m afraid they’ll tell me I am.
Three Plays: The Young Lady from Tacna, Kathie and the Hippopotamus, La Chunga Page 19