After class we walked out together and I hassled her until she admitted that her car was parked back at The Grill, giving me the opening I wanted to offer her a ride there. On the way we arranged the details for the following night, our first date.
“I’ll pick you up at six, so you’d better be ready,” I instructed her.
“And if I’m not?”
I shrugged. “Well then, you’ll miss out on the single best night of your life.”
“You’re not afraid of raising expectations are you?” She lifted her eyebrows in amusement.
“Just stating a fact. I’ve got the world’s best date planned, and you’ll be ruined for all men in the future after experiencing it, but you have to be ready at six, or it won’t happen. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it,” I said as we turned into the parking lot of The Grill.
“Fine. Six o’clock tomorrow. I’ll be ready.”
“Good girl.”
She hopped out of my truck, but before she shut the door she said, “Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not that good. And I’m definitely not a girl.” She smirked at me, shut the door, and sashayed off to her car.
I shook my head and chuckled. Good or bad, girl or woman, I wanted her, and the following night I was going to get her, if it was the last thing I did.
Lyndsey
Saturday afternoon rolled around a lot faster than I was prepared for. When I left work at 4:00 p.m. to go home and get ready, I felt like I was abandoning Leesa and Raoul. I ought to have been there to help them with the Saturday night rush, not out with sex-on-a-stick Nick Carlisle enjoying myself. But of course, as soon as Leesa heard Nick wanted to take me out, she’d given me the night off, and even started hassling me to go home by 3:00 p.m.
“Girl, if you don’t get out of here right now I’m going to fire you!” she railed at 3:52.
“I just have two more things to get ready for the dinner crew and then I’ll head out.”
“No you don’t,” Raoul said as he walked into the kitchen from the bar. “Are you ignoring my wife?” He pretended to be stern as he leaned over the island and grabbed a couple of pieces of jicama that Leesa was slicing.
“I’m not ignoring her, I just need to—”
“What you need to do is take that apron off, move your butt out that door over there, and get yourself home for your date,” he instructed firmly, before he popped the crunchy, sweet root in his mouth.
I sighed. He knew there was no way I was going to argue with him, he was dying for God’s sake. It was an unfair advantage, but I wasn’t to the point where I could joke about his illness yet. “Alright, alright, I’m going!” I moved to get the apron off and hang it on the hooks lining the wall. “I was only trying to help!” I said as I threw my hands in the air in a sign of surrender.
Leesa laughed from her spot by the stove where she was sautéing onions and made a shooing motion toward the back door.
Raoul came over to me and put an arm around my shoulders as he walked me along through the kitchen to the back porch door. “Hey.” He spoke near my ear so that Leesa couldn’t hear him. “I want you to remember something. You’re young, you’re healthy, there’s a whole world waiting out there for you. Things beyond this restaurant and this town. You only get one chance to explore it. Don’t be scared. You deserve every bit of it, and if Nick wants to be the one to show it to you, I can think of worse guys for the job.”
I bit my lip, working to keep the emotions under control. We stopped next to the back door, and I looked at him as he put his hands on my shoulders so I was facing him. “Live life, girl. Live it so you’ll never regret a damn thing when your time is done. I’ve lived mine, sweetheart. I’ve gotten everything I ever wanted in this world, including you. Now you go out there and do it too. It’s your turn.”
I shoved the tears down deep, deep inside me like I had so many other times before and gave him a hug. “Okay, I won’t forget.”
He gave me a sharp nod. “Good. Have fun tonight.”
I smiled and walked outside into the bright Hawaiian sun.
Nick
There were several things I needed to do to get ready for the date I had planned for Lyndsey. It was sort of old-fashioned of me I guess, I mean most guys would have just asked the girl to hang out with some friends at a bar and then taken her home hoping to get laid afterwards, but I wanted to do it right. She wasn’t the “hook up” kind of girl, and I hadn’t done anything special with anyone female in so long it seemed like this date was worth some extra effort.
The first stop I made on Saturday morning was to see Scott. I’d been going to sessions once a week, and he knew most of what was going on with Lyndsey and me. I had asked him for a special appointment today though. I knew I’d need some cheerleading before I tried this.
I jogged up the stairs to his office and down the hall that was darker than usual, a lot of the overhead lights off for the weekend. I could hear 80s rock coming out of Scott’s office when I got closer.
“Dude, Rush?” I asked as I walked in. He looked at me over the top of his reading glasses, his big, bald head shining in the sunlight streaming in the window behind him. Today he was wearing . . . surprise, surprise, a polo shirt and khaki shorts. The polo was red though, so jokes about his masculinity being threatened weren’t an option. However, the musical selection I could go with.
“What’s this, like worst bands of your youth or something?” I chided as I dropped into my usual armchair.
He didn’t answer, just gathered up his notes and pen before he walked over and sat across from me. “Rush,” he said, picking up a small remote control from the side table and turning the stereo off, “is one of the great rock bands in a decade of great rock bands. Eighties metal was overshadowed by all of that stupid New Wave crap, but Rush could not be ignored.”
I snorted and he raised one eyebrow, daring me to push it further. “Fine, whatever, you’re old, they’re old, it’s all good.”
“You know,” he said as he shuffled through his papers. “I think you’re giving me crap to avoid talking about your own crap. I also think for someone who’s getting an extra appointment, on a Saturday no less, you’re damn irritating.”
I laughed. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop.”
“So, what are we here to discuss today young Nick Carlisle?”
I ran my hand through my hair. As many times as I’d rehearsed it in my head, I wasn’t sure how to talk about this. “I’ve got a date tonight,” I blurted.
As usual, Scott didn’t bat an eyelash. “Okay, tell me about that.”
God, I hated his therapist voice. I sighed. “It’s with Lyndsey.”
“No surprise there,” he grinned at me.
“Yeah, I guess not. I mean we’ve hung out quite a bit, and even kissed a few times, but I wanted to do it right, get dressed up, have a fancy dinner, pay for it all.”
“Yeah, makes you feel like the ideal man, doesn’t it? That whole thing of planning it all, doing something really special for someone. I always loved that feeling.”
“Exactly!” I was stoked that someone finally understood. “Gabe didn’t get it, and I know it’s kind of weird these days, but I want to be in charge of making her happy. I want to know that I’ve done something tonight that she’ll remember as being great.”
“Totally understand. Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. Yet, you’re here with me, so there must be some reason.”
I sat up a little in my chair and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. My stomach churned and I wondered if Scott was going to laugh me out of the room for being such a fucking sissy. “Well, between you and Gabe you’ve convinced me that I need to quit worrying about something horrible happening. I know this isn’t Afghanistan, I’m not in a war zone, and no one’s going to be gunning for Lyndsey if she sees me.
“But, what if I let her down in some other way? I understand it’s not life or death here, but it’s people’s hearts. Am I worthy of
handling someone’s heart?” I still couldn’t believe I’d just said all of that out loud. I kept expecting the man patrol to come busting in and revoke my card.
Scott smiled at me a little and cocked his head. “What do you think, Nick, are you?”
I growled in frustration. “I hate the therapist shit, you know that?”
He laughed. “I know. Now answer the question.”
I thought about it for a minute. “I want to be. I’m trying hard to be. I know that I love to make her happy, and I hate to see her sad. I know that I’m willing to do pretty much whatever to help her or to make her happy. But, do I know that I’ll always do the right thing? Hell no.” I watched the gulls flying outside his window in the moisture-laden air and wondered if they felt things like love and fear.
“Do you think the rest of us know whether we’ll always do the right thing in situations like this?” Scott asked.
“I’m guessing you’re going to say no.”
He nodded, shuffling his papers on his lap before starting to click his pen open and closed while he talked. “If you hadn’t had the experience you did in Afghanistan, you wouldn’t even be asking questions like this, Nick. You’d see a girl you liked, you’d go after her, you’d spend whatever time with her you could, and it would develop from there. You have these doubts and ask these questions because you still feel responsible for something really terrible. But just like you shouldn’t hold yourself wholly responsible for what happened to Aubra, you can’t hold yourself wholly responsible for what happens between you and Lyndsey. A relationship takes two people, Nick. Let her be in this with you. You’ll figure it out together.”
I sat and let it all sink in. “You’re never going to break down and give me a straight answer are you?” I muttered.
Scott chuckled, shook his head, and reached across the table and tapped me on the shoulder. “So, what happens at the end of the date?”
I stood up and grimaced at him. “No way, man, we are so not going there!”
He laughed as I walked out of the room waving my hand over my head as I left. If the end of the date went the way I wanted, it wouldn’t be fit for his ears.
Lyndsey
Nick had told me to wear something nice, but comfortable, so I put on a coral silk sundress with spaghetti straps and a little flounce at the bottom. It hit me at mid-thigh, and I paired it with some silver strappy heels. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, but left a few braids hanging down and put some silver beads on the ends to match the shoes. I topped it all off with a stack of silver bracelets and some extra mascara and lip gloss.
As I looked at myself in the mirror my mind wandered to the last time I’d had a first date with someone. It was spring of my junior year in high school, and his name was Chris Mazetti. He was a football star and I was a nobody. I’d spent my high school years working at the local Dairy Queen and getting mediocre grades. I had a couple of girlfriends that worked at DQ with me, and on the Friday and Saturday nights we didn’t have to work we’d sit around someone’s apartment and watch movies or hang out at the parking lot of the McDonald’s near our high school. I’d had approximately four dates in three years and not a one of them had gone well.
When Chris started showing an interest in me, I hadn’t believed it. I thought for sure he was doing it as some prank or on a bet with his buddies. He came by DQ nearly every time I worked and flirted with me until my manager kicked him out. Finally, after about a month of it, he stopped in one night and said, “Hey Lyndsey, you wanna go to the movies tomorrow night?” I giggled like an idiot and then said yes. If only I’d known everything I was agreeing to with that one simple word.
I shook myself out of the memories of the guy and the date, and focused on getting my things together to go out with Nick.
I had a small tan leather handbag packed with my cell phone and wallet when I heard knocking at the door. I opened it and there stood Nick. Six foot two inches of really hot guy, dressed in faded jeans and a thin white linen button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was still damp from a shower and he was wearing that same citrus cologne. I swallowed, pretty much speechless just looking at him.
He held out a single white orchid to me and said, “Can I come in?”
I was prevented from answering by the arrival of Jack who bounded past me and started wiggling all over Nick’s feet.
I took the flower from him as he bent over to Jack. “Hey, buddy, how are you?” he said. “Are you ready for me to take your girl out?”
I whistled to Jack and motioned for Nick to come in as I shut the door.
He looked me up and down and whistled softly. “Wow. You look fucking hot,” he said as he moved toward me and put his hands on my hips. I could feel myself blushing. “I’m really happy you’re coming out with me,” he said softly.
I smiled at him. “I’m kind of happy you’re taking me out,” I answered. “But don’t let it go to your head.”
He let my hips go and grabbed my hand. “It already has.”
* * *
We left my apartment and Nick held my hand all the way to the truck where he opened the door and helped me in. I sighed after he shut the door and walked around to his side. It was going to be a challenging date if he was determined to be this perfect. I had given myself a big pep talk for the last two days about not letting this go too far. He was already making it really damn hard.
“So, where are we headed?” I asked as he hopped in the truck and started it up.
He winked at me as he pulled out of the parking lot. “Maybe it’s a secret.”
“Do you have a lot of secrets, Nick?” I surprised myself with the question.
He looked at me for a moment then turned back to the road, his expression inscrutable. “Only one or two. How about you?”
“More than you could possibly imagine.”
“Someone like you shouldn’t have to keep any secrets, Lyndsey. I won’t push, but if you ever wanted to let some go, I’m always willing to listen. I’ve learned since Afghanistan that it can really help to let somebody else help carry that stuff around.”
“Yeah? You going to share your secret with me?” I sounded a little bitter even to my own ears.
“I’ll tell you what, there are only a few people in this world that know what I keep hidden, but I’ll let you in on it if you’ll tell me yours. An exchange. That sound fair?”
“I’ll think about it,” I whispered. “I’ll think about it.”
“You think.” He reached over and took my hand in his, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb. “And in the meantime I’ll get you some dinner.”
Nick
Lyndsey had taken my plans for a light, fun evening and blown them to hell in about ten seconds. Talking about secrets with someone like me was akin to carrying around a gun, loaded and cocked, ready to have it go off and blow something to bits. But, I tried to play it cool. It wasn’t that I was opposed to telling Lyndsey what happened in Afghanistan, but I needed to be on solid ground before tossing that out there. I knew it could very well be the end of any chance I had with her, and I wasn’t ready to lose my shot yet. I figured the more time we spent together, the more she knew me, the better the chance she’d stick it out. It might have been disingenuous, but I was desperate for this girl to like me, maybe even love me eventually. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
When we pulled up to Kealoha beach and parked, she looked at me sort of strange. “Here we are.” I grinned at her.
“Um, Okaaay . . .” she answered, not moving from her seat.
“C’mon, get out, we’ve got stuff to do.”
“Nick?”
“Yeah?” I got out of the car and started digging around behind the front seat.
“You’re kidding, right?”
I looked up at her. “Kidding about what?” I watched her forehead crinkle in frustration. She was so fucking cute, it killed me.
“Well, I mean, I dressed up, and you said we were going to ea
t dinner. I love the beach and all, but, um, this is not really what I was expecting.”
I held up my finger in a hold-on-a-minute gesture, and leaned back out of the truck, having secured the item I needed and put it in my pocket. It was probably really wishful thinking, but I was not taking a gorgeous woman out on the beach on a warm night without a damn condom. I shut the door and walked around the front of the truck to Lyndsey’s side. She watched me the whole way, looking extra grumpy.
I opened her door and reached in to unbuckle her seatbelt since she hadn’t done it herself. I heard her huff out a little sigh. I could feel her irritation simmering like a low level pulse all around her. Unfortunately, it made me hot, like everything else about her did.
“Goldilocks?”
“Mmmhmmm.” Her lips flattened into a straight line as she looked at me warily.
“A little trust here?” I took her hand and helped her out of the truck.
“Alright, but you need to do a better job of telling a girl what to wear, because I’m going to have to take these shoes off to walk across the sand, and I could have just saved all the hassle of ironing this dress and thrown on my cutoffs—”
I leaned down and scooped her up as we reached the sand along the edge of the parking lot, cutting off her complaints.
“Ohh!” She squealed.
“You know, I think you’re hot with shoes or without, and you look fantastic in cutoffs, but if I’d told you we were coming to the beach and you’d have dressed like you do normally I wouldn’t have had the chance to see you in this exceptionally sexy dress, and that is an experience worth pissing you off for. Now hush up and let me show you something.”
She gaped at me for a second, then I marched off to the beach, the world’s greatest date just a few hundred yards ahead.
Lyndsey
I thought I had Nick’s plan all figured out when he pulled up to the beach—a picnic on the sand at sunset. It was sweet, but not that original. Anyone who’d lived near a beach for more than a month had done the picnic thing at least a dozen times, and I wasn’t dressed for it at all. My three-inch high heels would sink in that sand and it would scratch them up permanently. I wasn’t a fussy, girly type, but I dressed up so rarely that it took on extra importance when I did.
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