by Amy Brent
My orgasm was strong, and I cried out sharply in the room, hearing it echo around me as the pleasure came in long waves. “Blake…Blake…Blake,” I panted as I kept the sensation going with my finger against myself, moving slow and hard as my body started to pulse with the extended release. “I need you. I want you. I need to find a way to fix this.”
I dropped my hands to my sides in the water and took a haggard breath as my entire body went weak. I felt spent yet needy, and I knew that Blake was the only man that would satisfy me at my level of feelings for him. I could make myself cum all I wanted but it wasn’t like him being inside of me, and I let out a small whimper.
I couldn’t get involved with a Seal.
I ached in places that I could not reach.
I finished the wine and did a lot of thinking the rest of the night.
In the morning, after a restless sleep, I rose and took a long shower. My muscles ached, and my body was tired, but I washed and conditioned my hair thoroughly under the hot water before I climbed out to dry off. I had a big morning ahead of me, and it was with a heavy heart that I dried my hair and styled it into a soft lower bun before applying the amount of make-up that made me look professional like I know what I am doing. I almost don’t feel that way, in all honesty. I felt like a hot mess.
I dressed in my black combo of a pencil skirt and blazer with a spotless white shirt underneath and looked myself over before I added some black thigh high hose. That just looked better, as well as looking a bit like I was going to a funeral. I added a dash of dark red lipstick and black heels before I grabbed my purse and headed out to my SUV in the garage. It was my purchase when I knew I was getting this job, though the flawless black interior seemed dull to me at this moment. My perspective was so convoluted due to the way that I was beginning to feel for Blake, and I started the engine with a smooth turn of my key.
I didn’t drive right to my office and in fact, I had left earlier than normal to make a stop before that. I was going to see Blake’s commanding officers to discuss the situation with them as well as just to keep them up to date on his progress, or lack thereof. I felt like the worst psychologist in the world as I parked and got out with a quick press of my hands to my clothes. I entered the base easily with my ID, so I just had to walk into the office and act professional.
Memories of the night before flooded my mind, and I closed my eyes tightly for a few seconds.
I entered the building and made my way to the office of the man I had the most dealings with, being so new. He had given me the files to read and assigned Blake to me, though I’m confident he would be disgusted with my actions as of late. I greeted his receptionist, and she called to let him know that I was there, and I took several deep breaths as I waited.
As the petite raven haired woman told me to go on in, I smiled and stood up as I clutched my briefcase in my hand. Barry Johns was a very nice man, but I also knew that he was an important person in the whole scheme of things. “Good morning, sir.” I greeted him with a polite smile as he ushered me to sit down across from him.
“It’s good to see you, Dr. Thomas.” He replied with a warm smile that reminded me of my father. “I assume that you’re here regarding my favorite Navy Seal, Mr. Landon.”
“Yes, I am. I have met with him a few times so far and unfortunately I haven’t gotten too far at all.” I admitted as he frowned and leaned back in his chair. “He won’t talk about the incident at all. I sense a deflection in his tone with every question and with that being the case, I read the file further to get an idea of things.” I paused and took a small breath. “Mr. Landon has a tremendous record as a Navy Seal. I could not find one thing in my reading that suggested he would attempt to kill any of his own men for any reason. He was a seasoned professional.”
“I have to agree with you, Doctor. I have worked above him for years, and he is my go to man. I see how much he hates being on this break, but it had to be done.” Barry looked at me for a long moment. “I fear that he needs a friend right now, someone to confide in, but he lost his closest one that night. Perhaps he is scared to get close to anybody or just to talk about it at all. I had to send him to you due to protocol, but I knew that he might not open up right away.” Barry shook his head. “Keep trying, Miss Thomas. I am sorry that hasn't gone well for him…and you. I will try and talk with him as well, but that hasn’t been successful so far. Mr. Landon is stubborn and keeps saying that he doesn’t need a shrink.” He gave me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Dr. Thomas. I don’t feel that was, as you know. You are valuable to all of our staff, but I almost want to believe that he doesn’t need it.”
“None was taken,” I assured him since Blake had told me the same thing a few times now. I knew what I was walking into when I chose my major, and the words didn’t hurt too bad unless it was Blake saying them.
“How is your family doing?” Barry changed the subject, and I smiled slowly at the mention of them.
“They’re good. Mom is volunteering as much as she possibly can, and the boys are all set to finish up school this year. They are all talking about enlisting.” I told him as his face fell for a moment. My younger brothers were in high school now, two graduating and the other two sophomores.
“I feel for your poor mother, but I can’t hate their decision.” He admitted as I nodded. “All of you might stick with the Navy. Mike would be so proud of all of you kids.”
“I know he would,” I softly replied as I looked down at the floor. He wouldn’t be proud of all of my choices.
We had made some more small talk before I assured Barry that I would work with Blake some more and left to head to my office. I did intend to do so, but I was wondering if it was best as his therapist. Could there be another way?
All of my experience dealing with military men meant nothing to me right now. My stomach had never been so tied up in knots over any man like it was Blake and it left me feeling uncertain. It left me feeling scared.
CHAPTER 9
Blake
I was waking up after a bender when I heard the doorbell echoing in my skull. “Hold on,” I rasped as I sat up groggily and looked at the clock. It was three o clock. My schedule was going to shit. I looked down to see that I was in boxers, and stood on unsteady legs to pull on some jeans and a wrinkled shirt before I made my way to the living room. “Give me a minute,” I called out as the chime rang through the house again. I opened the door to see a harried blonde standing on my porch with a couple of duffel bags in her hands and a sneer on her pretty face. “Emma.”
“He lives,” she smartly said before she pushed her way into the house with a look of disgust on her face. The words hit me hard, and I slumped against the wall. “Jesus, Blake. It looks like hell in here.”
“I am so sorry that I haven’t been by,” I told her as she glared at me and dropped the bags on the ground.
“Sorry? That’s it?” She stomped up to me, and I looked down at her expanding belly. “You were brothers. You promised each other that you would always be there for the other one if anything happened. My kids adore you, and they have been asking where you are while they have been asking when he’s…coming home.” A tear slid down her cheek, and she brushed it away hastily. “You promised me that you would help me if he were ever gone and you never stopped by. I feel so alone and…I brought you some things of Roger’s. Memories you have with him. There are so many. I can’t believe that it’s all over.” She looked helplessly at me as I ran a hand through my growing hair.
“I’ve had a hard time with it, too,” I admitted as she stared at me.
“I would love to be able to have a hard time with it. I try to be strong for the kids and the baby all of the time, and it just keeps me up at night. I keep hoping you’ll come by and give me a moment of peace now that my family had to go back home, but you never do. You are breaking all of the promises that you ever made to us, and I hate you for it.” Emma told me squarely as she looked into my face. “I had this stuff waiting for you fo
r when you came, and I had to bring it myself while a neighbor watches the kids while they’re finally napping.” Her face was pale, and there were circles under her dull eyes that proved to me what as asshole I had been for avoiding her.
“Emma, I’m sorry. I’ll come by and take the kids somewhere for you.” I started to tell her as she headed towards the door with tears sliding down her cheeks. “Emma, wait.”
“I have to get home.” She told me as she pushed her way back through the screen and ran to her car. I watched her as she started the engine and pulled away before I slammed the door closed and walked into the kitchen.
I had made all those promises. I had every intention of taking care of his family when he died, but something inside had prevented me from seeing his wife’s sad face. I hated the idea of the kids feeling so sad, but I couldn’t face them after what had happened. I looked at the bags on the floor and shook my head as I forced myself to try to find the strength to be the man I promised I would be. I didn’t want anything that reminded me of the past, and I dragged them into the garage and dropped them near the trash can. They could go out with the next pickup because I didn’t want to see his face.
The doorbell rang again, and I turned my head quickly before running into the house. Emma came back! I opened the door ready to tell her I was willing to do anything that she needed to make up for the fact I had abandoned her, but my mouth dropped open instead. “Blake?” Aspen hesitantly asked as I stared at her in shock.
“Why are you here?” I asked her as she licked her lips slowly.
“You don’t want to talk in my office, and I know that you need to let this out. I thought that maybe if I came here, we could talk…I am worried about you.” She told me as I stepped aside to let her in without a thought. Aspen glanced behind me and stepped into my small living room and looked around with distaste at the bottles and cans stacked all over the place.
“I thought you did therapy in your office,” I told her in a cautious voice as she stared at me for a moment.
“I do. I just think you need…more.” Her suggestion intrigued me, and I tilted my head as I looked her over. “A friend…a confidante…I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like you have anyone that you are close to. Am I right?”
“A little. My family is in Colorado, and I haven’t been out there in a while. I work a lot, or at least, I did.” I admitted as she nodded and took another look around the room.
“I can tell you that this isn’t the way to deal with anything.” Aspen waved her hand around the room. “Drinking adds a week to depression if it is severe enough.”
“Is that a fact, Dr. Thomas?” I stepped forward and asked as her eyes widened.
“Yes, if it is real depression.” She replied and smiled weakly. “Here, I am Aspen.”
“I like that.” We eventually sat down after I cleaned up the room, suddenly driven to doing so with a beautiful woman in my house. I was a little ashamed on top of having the guilt that Emma had brought up today. We got to talking about the area and our bikes, and I watched her glow from the inside. It suited her, and it completely turned me on.
I got the bright idea to take a quick shower and go for a nice evening ride, which she agreed to. I noticed early on that she had a clingy pair of chartreuse leggings and a longer fitted gray shirt that would work for a ride, and I craved the feeling of her body wrapped around me as I took her to some of my favorite spots.
I headed into the bedroom with a grin on my face as I closed the door with a reluctant look back towards where I’d left her to strip for my shower. She had seen me naked, mostly, and I didn’t think it would hurt again. I rinsed off quickly and ran some shampoo through my hair before I got out and dried off as I stared at my half-hard cock that could easily become a full erection with the woman that was waiting for me. I dressed in some worn jeans that would work for the ride as well as a fitted blue shirt and leaned down to get my black boots. I noticed that she was already wearing some longer boots, and I assumed that she had ridden her bike here today.
That was a hot image, and I smiled as I opened the door and headed down the hallway. I saw that the living room was empty, and I frowned as I stepped into my kitchen to see her in front of the sink and loading dishes into the open dishwasher. Well, shit. When I looked around further, I noticed that she had cleaned off my counters as well. “Was I in there that long?” My voice was teasing as she blushed for another reason than my constant innuendos. It was nice.
“No, not at all. Small kitchen.” She looked at me with a scared gaze in her eyes. “I figured that I’d help you out a tiny bit.”
“It looks great. I appreciate it, Aspen.” I told her in a grateful voice as she smiled beautifully back at me. “How does that ride sound?”
“Let’s go.” I led her to my bike in the garage, and she looked at it with admiration in her eyes for a long moment. Aspen had told me that her bike had been handed down from her father, and she had slowly fixed it up with some friends. I had chuckled when she told me how irritated her brothers had been when she got the bike, but it was a shared interest with her father as opposed to all of them.
I eased onto the motorcycle and memorized the feeling of her body behind mine, pressed against me tightly as I felt her long arms wrap around my waist. I pictured her on her bike moaning my name, and I blocked off the memory as I tried to focus on the present.
We headed out to take a drive out to a lovely part of the country where I enjoyed looking at stars. There was a big weeping willow tree and a pond located in the meadow with all kinds of flowers and grass in the Springtime. Though it didn’t offer all of that right now, I still found it to be a very peaceful place. I had seen a lot of it in the past few weeks.
Only a bike or a pretty rugged SUV could access the space, and I found that we were alone as I roared up the dirt path. Aspen got off of my bike smiling and coughing a little at the dust I had lifted, but she looked happy. “It’s so peaceful here. I need to get out more.”
“You don’t?” I asked her as she set the helmet down on the seat and looked around for a long moment.
“I grew up with a military dad and five brothers. Even though most of them were younger, they were so protective of me, and I am still used to them always being so worried about my safety. Coming out here alone would make their heads explode.” She laughed softly at the end, and I appreciated her family at that moment.
She was a woman a man should cherish.
That thought made me realize that something was happening, something that could be considered wrong.
We walked around and talked some more as the connection between us grew stronger, and my willpower became significantly weaker. Once it was getting dark, we got back on the bike and went to get some dinner at a little pub that I knew that was close by. More to the point, we were far enough out to where we probably would not run into any familiar faces. It was cozy in there, and we chose a booth in the corner with a red candle that was lit in the middle that made Aspen grin. “I love these in restaurants.”
“They remind me of being younger and eating with my family,” I confessed as she nodded emphatically at me.
“Exactly.” We ordered some cold beer and burgers with fries before she sat back and looked across the table at me. “I have had a wonderful day with you.”
“I can say the same.” I took a long sip of my beer and looked at her across the table. “You look so happy and free.”
“I feel that way.” She stared into my eyes as the attraction between us only grew stronger. “I know that this is a risk on my part, Blake. I know that all too well. I just can’t stay away anymore.”
“I feel the same way, Aspen.” Her name rolled off of my tongue as she blushed and I memorized it. That look on her face had become one of my favorite things in life. We ate and talked more as the flirting increased between us. It wasn’t as raw as it had been the times before in her office, but the heat was still there. It was all over the room; it was in her eyes and her full lips ev
ery time that she looked at me. Even the waitress looked between us as I handed her a few bills for our meal with wide eyes.
We headed to the bike with an urgency as my hand reached down to clasp hers in the cloak of darkness that we felt hidden in. She reached for me at my Harley, and I met her lips eagerly as the heat exploded and fell to pieces around us. The kisses were long and hungry, but we parted to make our way back to my place after several moments. We both knew that this was not going to stop there, right or wrong. I felt her warmth pressed against me as I drove just a little faster and let the memories of her play through my mind.
I pulled into the garage and pulled her from the bike into my arms as she jumped at me. Her lips were open for me, and her tongue was eagerly dancing with mine as I cupped her juicy ass tightly. We stumbled into the house, and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her in my arms down the hallway to my bedroom.
This time with us was not on a bike, and it was not going to be a quickie as that experience had been.
Once I kicked my door open, I let her slide down my body slowly as every gorgeous curve pressed against my body. I slipped my hands over her as she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me with a need that matched my own. I didn’t end that contact as I stroked and squeezed, vowing to remember every moan that came out of her mouth. We stripped down in between our deep kisses and eyed each other without any abandon in the light from the lamp on my nightstand. I was grateful to have left it on last night now that she was naked in my room. I pressed her back against the mattress as I asked her to lay back in a hoarse voice. I was hard and throbbing, and I needed to begin worshiping her sexy body now. Aspen took a deep breath and rested back against the pillows as she looked into my eyes steadily. I loved her confidence, and I stroked the skin of her legs as her knees fell apart and offered the most tempting view that I had ever seen.