“Are you having unprotected sex?” she asks again, but slower this time.
“Well—yes, but like I said, I’m on birth control.”
“The pill isn’t one hundred percent effective. The only thing that works one hundred percent of the time is abstinence. You wouldn’t be the first to get pregnant while on birth control, and you won’t be the last. Now, here’s a cup. You can go to the restroom to your right, and we’ll get this cleared up real quick, okay?”
I nod in response, words nowhere to be found. When I get into the restroom, my hands shake as I fumble around with the cup.
What will Sean say?
What will he do?
Oh my God, how is this happening?
My leg bounces up and down as I wait for the results to come in. When the door to my room finally opens, I stop breathing and I’m pretty sure my heart stops beating.
“Well, it’s negative.”
I blow out a relieved breath, my blood pumping to my whole body again.
“Are your periods irregular?” I shake my head. They usually come like clockwork. “Do you think you’re late or you just can’t remember?”
“I think I’m late.” A new possibility dawns on me that has panic rising all over again. “Could that be a false negative?”
“If you’re a couple days pregnant, yes. Can you give an estimate on when you should’ve started?”
I pull out my phone and look at the calendar. I know I’m on a new pack of pills, so I should’ve started two weeks ago. When I tell the doctor this, she says the test would’ve shown I was pregnant.
“We’ll do a vaginal ultrasound to make sure you don’t have an ectopic pregnancy. Sometimes that won’t show up with a urine test. If that’s clear, we’ll do your pap and see if there’s a reason you’re missing your period.”
The ultrasound comes back negative and the pap is uneventful if not a little uncomfortable. She tells me they’ll send it off to the lab and will call me when the results come in. With no other information to give me, I’m free to go and meet my friends.
Me: Hey, guys. I’m leaving now. See you in twenty.
The whole drive to Scarlett’s I spend reflecting on my appointment. While I’m beyond relieved to not have a bun in the oven, the other explanations for my missed period have me somewhat worried. The urge to look it up on my phone has my fingers twitching, but I know that’s a terrible idea. No matter what symptoms you have, the internet will always have you convinced it’s a tumor and you’re going to die.
Pulling up to Scarlett’s place, I take a deep breath and try to push my concerns to the back of my mind. Hopefully I can count on my friends to keep my mind off of things for a while. When I walk in, they’re already deep in conversation, each with a glass in their hand.
“I’m here,” I say in what I hope is a singsong voice.
I’m greeted by everyone and immediately handed a glass of wine. I resist the urge to down it in one gulp to keep from alerting my friends that something may be wrong.
“What are you guys talking about?” I ask.
“Lydia was asked to be partner at the firm.”
“Wow, that’s amazing! Did you take the offer?”
Lydia has worked for one of the premier interior decorating firms in the Apex and Raleigh area for several years now. I’m actually surprised it took her boss this long to ask, especially since he’s getting older and has no one to give the company to.
“I’m thinking about it,” she responds.
“What is there to think about? Isn’t this what you’ve wanted since you started?” I’m looking at her like she has three heads. The fact she hasn’t jumped all over this is beyond me.
“Well, that’s because there’s one teeny tiny detail I haven’t told you guys about yet.” She looks down, a wide grin overtaking her face. Scarlett, Charlotte, and I all look at each other confused.
“What detail?” Scarlett asks.
“Marcus and I are having another baby!” She hops up and down with excitement and it’s contagious. We all give her a huge hug with lots of congratulations. My eyes travel to the glass she was holding and she says, “Juice.”
“How far along are you?” I ask her.
“I’m only ten weeks. We just told our parents last night. It’s been killing me keeping this from you guys.”
“Are you hoping for a boy this time?” Charlotte asks.
Lydia shrugs. “Honestly, I don’t care as long as it’s healthy. I know that’s such a cliché answer, but it’s the truth.”
“So why can’t you be partner after you have the second baby?” I ask her.
“I love my job, don’t get me wrong, but it requires a lot of long hours. If I’m not at the office having meetings with potential clients and drawing up designs, then I’m at home doing research and searching for specific items. I’m missing a lot with Ella and I’m starting to have mom guilt.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty for having a career while being a mom, Lydia, but you have to find a balance,” Scarlett tells her.
“That’s the problem. If I work less, I get behind. If I stay on top of my workload, I miss out on time with Marcus and Ella.”
“Have you thought about taking on fewer clients?” Charlotte suggests.
“Most of these clients have requested me. I already have a backlog of people waiting for me to design their rooms. If I take less, I’ll have to step down anyway.” The conflict in her eyes is apparent. I know this is a tough decision for her.
“What does Marcus say about all of this?” I ask.
“He’s supportive either way and keeps reminding me that I don’t need to work, but he’s leaving it completely up to me.”
Marcus and Sean are trust fund kids, but choose to work and make their own way. Marcus could quit his job as a police officer and they’d have more than enough to live off of.
The conversation soon switches to Charlotte and her baby and then on to Scarlett and her dry spell with men. I never thought I’d see her go so long without a fling, but she seems to be turning over a new leaf so to speak. Lydia and I show each other what we’ll be wearing to the Rileys’ dinner party this weekend and she reassures me I have nothing to worry about.
By the time I glance at the clock, it’s late. We’ve finished off two bottles of wine, and I can’t walk a straight line if my life depended on it.
Me: RF- I’m drunk.
Me: RF#2- I can’t drive.
Me: RF#3- I need a ride home.
His response is quick.
Sean: Where are you? I’m on my way.
If there’s anyone who can take my mind off of things, it’s this man. And I’m looking forward to it.
Sean
“YOU LOOK NERVOUS, bro,” Marcus says as he slaps me on the back. Lydia and Paige decided they were going to get ready for my parents’ dinner tonight together, so Marcus stopped by to kill time.
Looking in my empty fridge, I make a note to go to the store tomorrow. “I’m fine.”
“Really? You keep looking in the refrigerator like it holds the answers to world peace or something.”
Closing the door, I roll my eyes. “I’m just worried about Mom. You know how she can get and I don’t want her running Paige off.”
“Dude, you’re constantly handling Paige with kid gloves like she’s going to bail at any moment.”
Because that’s how I feel. She thinks she hides it from me, but I see it when she thinks I’m not paying attention. Panic hits her at the most random times and over the smallest of things. I’m hanging on to her with my fingertips, unwilling to let go.
“I don’t know why you’re always giving me shit. You went through the same thing with Lydia if I remember correctly.”
Lydia was worse than Paige if that’s possible. Where Paige is leery of me, Lydia was leery of all men.
“Yeah, but I didn’t act like a pussy over it.” I throw daggers at him with my glare, causing him to laugh. “I’m kidding. Lighten up. Want me to ask
Mom to not be her usual, meddling self?”
“No. If you make a big deal about it, it’ll only make it worse.”
“It won’t be that bad. It’s not like they haven’t met before,” he reminds me.
“Only in passing. Plus, this is different.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, already dreading the evening.
“You’re me two years ago,” Marcus remarks.
“How so?”
“Absolutely miserable at the idea of going to this thing.” Laughter laces his words, but I don’t find it funny.
“Don’t you need to get ready or something?” I reply, sick of his smartass comments. He’s not helping and only making it worse. I suppose payback is a bitch. I had given him enough shit about Lydia, I’m sure he couldn’t wait to return the favor.
He looks down at his watch. “Yep, gotta go get my monkey suit and fake smile on.”
I shake my head and press my lips together in mock disappointment. “Well, if the cop life ever gets boring, you could always come to the corporate side.”
Marcus visibly shudders, like the idea of working for Dad’s company repulses him. It actually makes me laugh. “No, thanks.” With those parting words, he turns around and leaves.
My nervousness over Paige being introduced to my parents as my girlfriend was soon overshadowed by my anxiousness to see her. Images of her in that dress have toyed with my mind since I saw her in it two weeks ago. Now that the driver is pulling up to her condo, I’m afraid the urge to pounce on her will be too great to resist.
I rock on the balls of my feet as I wait for her to answer the door. When she does, it was well worth the wait. Her hair is pulled up with a few loose curls framing her face. She’s radiant and absolutely gorgeous—no, stunning—no, there’s not a word to adequately describe the way she looks right now.
“God, Paige, I’m speechless.” My mouth parts as my eyes travel up and down her body before settling again on her face.
“Well, that’s a first.” One corner of her mouth quirks up, and all I want to do is kiss the smartass right out of it.
In one measured move, I loop my arm around her waist and dip her back. Her hands fly to my shoulders and grab on, a little yelp escaping her lips from the sudden movement. My lips capture hers in a slow and passionate kiss that’s sure to have her toes curling. When I pull back, she’s slow to open her eyes.
“Now who’s speechless?” I ask, a cocky grin of my own firmly in place. That earns me a swat on the arm and I stand her back upright so we can be on our way.
With my hand on the small of her back, I guide her to the car.
“A driver, huh? Well aren’t you fancy this evening.”
Kyle, our driver, opens the car door for us. “Only the best for you.”
“I’d call you spoiled, but we don’t have time for the punishment right now.”
“Punishment?” I ask, my eyebrows rising up my forehead in amusement.
She leans in close so only she and I can hear. “Every time I’ve called you spoiled, you’ve fucked me senseless for it.”
A growl vibrates in my throat as my grip on her waist tightens. “You better get in the car before I drag you back inside and we don’t leave the bedroom until tomorrow.” When she climbs in, I swat her ass for good measure.
“Are you nervous?” I ask her when we get on our way.
“Maybe a little,” she admits as her fingers fumble with the strap on her small purse.
“You’ve met my parents before, and you’ll have Lydia and Marcus there, so there’s no need to be nervous.”
She gives me a weak smile in response, and this is exactly what I was afraid of. She’s getting into her own head and freaking out. She turns away from me and looks out the window, effectively shutting me out.
“Hey,” I say to bring her attention back to me. “If at any point you’re uncomfortable, just say the word and we’ll leave, okay?”
“I know this is important to you though. You need to be there.”
“No, I need to be with you. The company isn’t going to fall apart because I’m not at some stupid dinner party.”
She nods and I see the relief in her eyes. The tension leaves her shoulders, and it helps put me at ease as well. Leaning down, I give her one more reassuring kiss.
About thirty minutes later, we’re pulling up to my parents’ home. While they started in modest beginnings, they’ve done well for themselves. With grand pillars and a large porch, their home has a colonial feel that’s accentuated by a circular driveway framed with a perfectly manicured lawn. It may appear stiff and pretentious from the outside, but Mom has made it warm and inviting on the inside.
“You ready, gorgeous?” I ask when we get to the front door.
She smooths her hands down the front of her dress. “As ready as I’m going to be.”
With a wink, I place my hand at her lower back and open the front door.
A steady murmuring of conversation meets my ears, followed by the soft tones of classical music in the background. My mother’s face is the first one I see. She’s smiling and working the room like normal and when she sees me her eyes light up.
“Sean, you made it.” Her arms are open wide as she walks toward us, enveloping me in a hug when she’s close.
Her comment makes me chuckle. “You act like you weren’t sure I’d show up.”
“Oh, stop it, you know what I mean.” She swats at me before turning her gaze to Paige. “It’s so nice to see you again.”
Paige smiles wide and holds her hand out to her. “It’s nice to see you again too, Mrs. Riley.”
“Around here we give hugs, darlin’,” my mother drawls out, accentuating her Southern accent. Paige seems taken aback at first, but quickly recovers and hugs Mom back. “It’s not every day we get to meet one of Sean’s girlfriends. In fact, you’re the first one he’s ever brought over. Do you know I’ve got a plethora of embarrassing stories to tell and no one to listen?”
“Do you now?” Paige glances at me with a mischievous gleam in her eye.
“Did he ever tell you how he got that tiny scar on the bridge of his nose?”
Paige doesn’t look away from me, grin firmly in place as she says, “No.”
“Well, he was about five years old and decided to stick both of his arms in his shirt. He was chasing Marcus around outside and tripped over his feet. Because his arms were in his shirt, he wasn’t able to put his hands out to catch himself. Needless to say, his nose broke his fall on the pavement.”
Paige has the decency to wince before she laughs. “Oh my God, I could listen to stories like these all day.”
“I’ll tell you what, he was a mess. Always keeping me and his father on our toes.”
“Alright, that’s enough stories for one evening. Let’s spread them out before she realizes how lame I really am and leaves me, okay?” Grabbing Paige’s hand, I pull her close to my side.
“We’ll have to grab lunch sometime so I can dish the dirt.”
“I’d like that,” Paige replies. Through the embarrassment, a smile creeps across my face. I’m close to my family and it’s important to me they like her. Of course, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker because I’m fucking crazy about her, but it helps.
Before any more damage can be done to my reputation, I lead Paige across the room to the safety of my brother and his wife, Lydia.
“I thought about rescuing you, but watching you turn every shade of red was much more entertaining,” Marcus tells me.
“Thanks, dick,” I mutter.
The evening runs fairly smooth, and I realize all my earlier worries were for nothing. Seeing Paige interact with my family and people from the company makes me see how much she belongs in my life. Over the course of the night, she charmed the hell out of my mother and had my father eating out of the palm of her hand. But I’m not going to lie; watching her hold her own with some of our office’s best was a major fucking turn-on. I knew she was smart, but she’s way more knowledgeable about this business
and over qualified for her position.
“Want another drink?” I whisper in her ear when there’s a lull in conversation.
“Sure, thank you.” She smiles, and it goes straight to my damn heart like an arrow.
I walk over to the bar on the other side of the room and order a glass of champagne and a whiskey neat. While I’m waiting, I spin around to catch a glimpse of my girl, but as soon as my eyes find her, I know something is off. Her stance is stiff and her facial expression is tight. With brow furrowed, I look next to her to see David Sanchez. She’s always spoken kindly of him, so her reaction is a bit unusual and has me on high alert.
Forgetting our drinks, I walk around the perimeter of the room so they don’t see me approaching and come up behind David to catch what he’s saying.
“Don’t get me wrong; I’m impressed. You skipped right over me and went straight to fucking the CEO’s son. Very clever. Depending on how good you are, you should do well here.”
Her lips part and all the color drains from her face the same time my fists clench at my sides. Grabbing his shoulder, I spin him around. His surprised reaction lasts but a second before I punch him in his smug fucking face.
“What the fuck did you say?”
Punch.
“Don’t you ever talk to her like that again.”
Punch.
“You hear me, asshole?”
Punch.
I’m seeing red and I don’t know if I can stop. Who the fuck does he think he is talking to her like that?
“Whoa, whoa! Sean, stop!” Arms wrap around and pull me from behind.
“Don’t even look at her, you son of a bitch!”
David falls to the floor, but I’m not done with him. I want more.
“Stop!” It finally registers that my brother has me in some sort of arm grab that keeps me from getting away. Probably some shit he learned in the fucking academy.
The red fog starts to dissipate as my chest rises and falls rapidly. I take my first glance at Paige, but part of me wishes I hadn’t. Tear-filled eyes stare at me in horror as she shakes her head and looks around, desperate to get out of here.
At Her Own Risk Page 8