by Nicole Marsh
“Hey Luke,” I reply, giving him a quick wave and introducing myself, just in case. “I’m Kenzie.”
“Hey,” he calls out, his voice a similar genteel drawl to Collin’s but lacking the warmth. I hold his attention for half a second, then he shifts his gaze back to his brother. “We need to go, I have to study before soccer practice later,” he informs Collin, sounding bored, like the other boys forced him to stand here and gawk at us when he’d rather be anywhere else.
“I’ll meet you at the car,” Collin says then jogs away from his brother without waiting for a response. His feet carry him to the pink bug and he hesitates briefly before slinging an arm around my waist and joining Katie and I, as we lean against the car. I lilt my head, my eyes raking over his handsome face and I’m struck with the urge to plant a kiss on him, right here, even with our audience. He hovers an inch closer, causing the urge to become more persistent. I almost miss when he asks, “Do you need a ride home, McKenzie?”
Snaking an arm behind his back, I give him a one-armed squeeze as I decline with a shake of my head. “Thanks for looking out for me, but I’m headed to Katie’s to hang out for a bit.”
Katie interrupts our moment and chimes in, “I can give her a ride, no big deal… unless you can’t stand to be apart from her for that long.” Her tone is teasing, but still causes a light layer of pink to crest Collin’s cheeks.
I’ve always found Collin Franzen attractive, but blushing Collin Franzen is adorable.
He finally releases me and glances at Katie, then back to me. “I guess I can spare her for a little while. You two have fun.” He winks at me, then steps fully away from us.
I watch as he breaks into a jog across the parking lot towards his SUV and awaiting brother. I’m momentarily lost in my thoughts, wondering why Luke didn’t ride home with us yesterday, but Katie’s long sigh quickly engages my attention. “You’re lucky Kenzie,” she says when my eyes land on her face. “He’s one of the good ones and so fricken’ hot!”
Laughing at her statement, I round the car to plop into the passenger seat. Once we’re both buckled, she turns the volume of the stereo all the way up, rolls both of our windows down, then zips out of the parking lot towards the Golden Oaks neighborhood a few miles away.
The first beats of a pop song come blaring through the speakers as she whips into the driveway of an enormous, pale gray home. The same one we stopped at the other day, to pick up some of the group for tubing. It’s a block and a half away from the Franzen house, in the same lushly manicured neighborhood, but the style of the home is completely different. Where Collin’s house is warm and inviting, despite its size; Katie’s is intimidating and cold. The gray a lackluster color against the greenery outside.
“We have to stay for the rest of the song,” Katie demands interrupting my observations. She bursts into some crazy dance moves, wiggling her arms around the front seat spastically, while shouting the words like she’s in a competition with the car’s speakers.
With a laugh I join in, crooning along with the chorus which has already become embedded in my brain and we’re only two-thirds of the way through the song. When it finally concludes, we both giggle, spilling out onto the plush, grassy lawn and make our way up the paved sidewalk.
I stand to the side while Katie types into the keypad and opens the front door. The inside of her house is almost the exact opposite of the Franzen’s, all sleek modern lines, in gray, white, and black. The entryway is tiled with a dark gray stone, contrasted with stark white walls. The staircase sits inside to the right, boxy with a black, metal rail. To the left, I can see an expansive living room filled with a low, white couch and a large black console table.
Katie kicks off her shoes, pushing them to the side of the door, then drops her bag on top of them. “Come on, let’s go search through my closet,” she yells, then begins to rush up the stairs. I take a second to eye them, they look like they’re made of cement, each step hovering a few inches above the next without a back in between.
Dragging my eyes away, I take off my shoes in the entry, then after briefly waffling, lightly place my backpack on top. There’s nothing valuable in there, but it just feels like I’m leaving a mess in the cold, pristine foyer and I don’t want to upset Katie’s parents. I pause for a second, but no one comes to scream at us to clean up our stuff. Shrugging, I hustle up the steps to seek out Katie’s room.
It’s easy to determine where she’s at, I just follow the sound of her squealing. Entering her room, I stop in my tracks. Eyes wide, I survey the absolute and utter chaos unfolding before me.
Katie has a massive bedroom, about twice the size of my entire trailer. Unlike the rest of the house, it seems to have a personality much like hers. Against the far wall sits a beautiful sleigh bed with a vibrant purple and white floral comforter. Her curtains are lilac and a large, pale pink sofa sits nearby. My eyes stop on the last piece of furniture in the room, a cluttered white vanity, filled with opened jars and tubes of make-up. It looks like it’s never been cleaned, a splattering of eye shadow sitting across the wooden top, fully dispelling the idea her parents are going to shout at us for being messy.
She has the door open to another room, which is also huge, but appears to be a closet. She’s throwing things through the doorway, onto the floor in her bedroom. “Yes, this one!” She exclaims, prior to another garment flying through the door and landing on the heap growing by the second.
Within minutes, she emerges, hangers folded over her arm, as she steps around the mountain of clothes thrown from her closet. It’s impressive she owns so much clothing, but glancing past her, I see the room is still brimming full of items. The ones she’s chosen barely making a dent in the horde.
Inhaling a loud, deep breath, she mutters, “Okay.” Barely managing to fit all the clothes from her arm onto her bed. “How about we begin here and see if we find anything?” She examines the assortment of options determinedly, with her hands on her hips.
I survey the massive pile of mish mashed clothing, then turn my surprised eyes back to her. “You’re worried we won’t be able to find something for me to wear in all of this,” I reply flabbergasted.
Katie giggles, covering her mouth with her hand, after scanning the lot. “Okay, we’ll definitely find something. Honestly, I hardly wear any of this stuff, so anything that fits well is yours to keep.” She claps her hands together. “Oh, I’m so excited. Fashion show, fashion show,” she chants pumping her fist into the air.
Her vibrant enthusiasm has me laughing and I move closer to the bed, intent on starting with the items placed there. Before I reach them, I’m interrupted by a pinging noise, indicating my phone received a new text. Eagerly, I pull the clunky cell from my pocket, wondering if it’s Collin already.
But it isn’t his name showing on my screen.
I read over the message, absorbing the words with an angst-filled sigh. Mr. Mouchard is cutting my shift for Friday.
The fifteenth is quickly approaching and I’ve only worked three shifts—with one more coming up Saturday, if it doesn’t get the axe next--since I last paid the other half of my lot rent. I’ve made just enough to cover what I owe to the trailer park, leaving about $10 to add to my savings. At this rate I’ll never save enough money to move away from this town, or even join the cheer squad, if I were to be selected.
My shoulders slump under the weight of my disappointment. It’s not that I’m upset about losing a shift, they can be pretty disgusting, re: cleaning vile body fluids and used condoms, but I could really use the money. At this point, my tin of savings will run out within two months from groceries, lack of shifts, and expenses from school.
Part of me wishes things with Collin were real, but they can’t be. Mr. Mouchard’s text just serves as a reminder that I lack options and need funds, urgently. If there were another way I would do it… there just doesn’t seem to be one.
“What’s wrong Kenzie?”
I glance up from my ancient, bulky cell and see Kat
ie wearing a concerned frown. She is still, and quiet while she waits for my response, which isn’t normal behavior for her. In the short time I’ve spent with her, she’s always been spastic, constantly speaking and moving.
Trying to be casual, I reply “It’s nothing.”
It’s everything.
Her frown deepens and she appears almost… angry. “Look, I know we’re still getting to know each other, but you don’t have to lie. I swear I’ll take your secrets to the grave and I promise I won’t judge. Sometimes talking about things makes it easier to problem solve,” she says in a serious, un-Katie-like tone.
Wavering, I try to sort through my thoughts to determine what is safe to disclose without outing myself and the deal with Derek. I finally settle on a half-truth, to get her off my back for now. “I’m really broke,” I begin. “And my boss at the motel just cut one of the few shifts I had on the schedule. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to join the cheer team…. Even if I made it, I can’t afford it.”
“Oh, that’s it?” Katie asks and I’m not sure whether I should be insulted or not, that a problem like not having any money received such a flippant response from her.
“Yes…”
Katie waves her hand in the air, as if it will clear away my struggles. “We can just get you a sponsor. I’ll even ask my dad if you want. You don’t have to be rich to join a team in high school, Kenzie. You just have to be good enough to make it. I’ll help you figure out the rest.”
I eye her, slightly suspicious. Do people really pay for other people to join things because they’re talented? It seems too good to be true, but I decide to put my faith in Katie. If she says her dad can help pay, maybe…
Maybe I won’t need the deal with Derek after all.
But if I told Collin the truth, would he ever forgive me?
Katie walks closer to me and bumps her hip into mine. “Tuck your phone and frown away, girlie. It’s time for a fashion show.” She plucks a sultry, slinky, red dress off the bed and holds it up with a wicked grin. “Can you imagine what Collin would do, if he saw you in this?”
Chapter 17
Katie drops me off at random house two blocks away from the trailer park, per my request. It’s not that I’m ashamed of where I live or don’t trust her, or anything. Advertising my entire situation is not something I’m ready to do just yet. Besides, I already told Katie about my money problems from my dwindling work shifts; I think that’s a big enough revelation for one day, without exposing my entire sordid past.
Outside the car on the curb, I wave with my right hand, clutching the overflowing bag of clothes with my left. I’m silently willing Katie to hurry up and drive away before the people that actually live here come out and shout at me for loitering on their lawn.
That’s an embarrassment I don’t want to go through today.
My arm becomes sore as I continue waving, mentally yelling, “Hurry up.”
Katie remains sitting there, completely oblivious. She turns on the overhead light, checking her appearance in the rear-view mirror. I watch, still waving, as she swipes a finger underneath each eye, then turns the light off. Breathing a sigh of relief, I assume she’s going to drive away, but she picks up her phone and begins scrolling instead.
I fight hard to keep the frown off my face. I need Katie to leave, like now. My arm slowly drops, from the wave that does not seem to be giving her the hint.
Is she waiting for me to go inside?
I give one more big, dramatic wave, unsure if she notices me since her face is buried in her phone, then I tentatively begin moving across the sidewalk towards the driveway. I keep my body angled so the car is still in view and take each step slowly, gradually treading up the lightly angled drive. At an excruciating pace, I lift each foot up then inch it back down towards the paved ground, making minimal progress towards the house with each movement. Walking this way, I traverse half the distance to the house before spotting a pink blur zipping away from the curb.
After she finally leaves, I allow my shoulders to relax and basically sprint back down to the sidewalk. I can’t afford to have the cops called on me for trespassing, or loitering, or something.
Once off private property, I begin my trek home, trudging towards the park.
The sun is hanging low in the sky, casting long shadows and I try to stay aware as I return home. Our small town isn’t exactly a hotspot for crime, but Derek and his buddies are no saints either and I feel like I’ve garnered their attention as of late. Well, I know I have considering the deal we made recently.
My thoughts wander, as I mentally explore my options for breaking my agreement with Derek. Technically we didn’t sign anything or make our obligation binding, but that doesn’t really seem like something criminals would do anyways. My biggest concerns are that Derek knows where I live AND he knows I live there alone.
There’s no way of knowing how far he’d be willing to go if he felt betrayed.
He could come after me, or even call CPS.
The ramifications of breaking my word could be serious.
By the time I’m halfway down the dirt path to my trailer, the sun has completely set, bathing me in darkness, but I’ve come to a solution.
Avoidance.
I’m going to avoid Derek until I come up with a better plan. I really need to tell Collin, but I’m afraid it will make him hate me. Not that I would blame him. It was a shitty thing to do, agreeing to a plan to rob someone. But maybe, maybe if I tell him everything; about my mom, Mr. Mouchard, and the raise in my lot rent… Maybe Collin could find forgiveness and understanding of my actions.
At least I hope so.
Until I figure out a time and place to have a heart-to-heart with my new crush, the easiest solution is to avoid acknowledging the problem and stay as far away from Derek as possible. Feeling more settled, I notice my steps have brought me further into the park and I’m nearing my trailer.
My newfound awareness, channels my vision onto my home and I spot a figure leaning near the door. My pace slows and I take a step off the dirt road, into the shadowy back of a trailer nearby. I squint my eyes trying to figure out who’s at my house.
As if he senses my gaze on him, the hazy figure straightens into the light cast by the small bulb hanging off my porch. The light glints off Derek’s dark hair as he steps closer to the battered dirt road.
Pushing myself further into the shadows, I hug my bag to my chest and shove my back against the cool tin, embracing that it may be my salvation. Not wanting to risk being seen, I remain frozen in place, my racing heart the only sound audible in the quiet night air.
I wait. Time passes, although I’m not sure how much. I don’t move a muscle, not wanting to compromise my position and alert Derek of my presence.
It’s like we’re in a contest, trying to prove who will outwait the other. Although I can’t see him, I feel him lingering in the murky darkness separating our forms, and I wonder how long he’ll stay in hopes of intercepting me before retreating, so I can access my home.
“Derek,” a high-pitched voice whines out eventually, interrupting the silence. “Why did you leave to stand in the dark? Come back to the trailer.”
“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m comin’.” Derek’s voice sounds closer than it should, if he were still lurking by my trailer.
Remaining motionless, I hold my breath and strain my ears, attempting to hear his footsteps back to his trailer. Of course, the distance is too far, and my hearing isn’t bat-like, so nothing reaches my ears.
To be safe, I stay in my hiding spot until my muscles begin to ache. Only then do I slowly step forward, away from the trailer. My feet and legs tingle as they wake up from being locked in place for so long.
I peek around the corner tentatively, my shoulders relaxing when I don’t see any forms lingering in the darkness between me and my trailer. As quickly as I can on my dead legs, I run to my door, fumbling with my key in my haste to unlock the door.
&
nbsp; Once inside, I leave the lights off, readying myself for sleep in the dark. Just in case. I don’t want to risk revealing I’m home to Derek. He might return to his post by my trailer and see my lights are turned on.
After a few minutes of fumbling around in the dark, I climb into bed.
The high I was feeling earlier in the day--from shopping in Katie’s closet and learning it may be possible to join the cheer team, thanks to a sponsor—has completely faded. Instead, my mind races with thoughts of the future.
I know I can’t avoid Derek forever, but I need to buy more time. To figure out how to divert his attention to something else. Then, maybe, I can call off our deal, be honest with Collin, and have a normal senior year.
Chapter 18
Tonight, I’m attending dinner at the Franzen’s. Just the sentence makes a swarm of butterflies take flight in my belly, the movement threatening to displace my lunch. I take a few deep, calming breaths and rub my palms across my abdomen before facing off with my closet.
“If you map out their house this time, you’ll never have to go back,” I mutter to myself. Instead of providing relief from the butterflies, my words transform them into a ball of dread in the pit of my stomach.
I have it bad.
I’m not ready to give up Collin, yet. I might never be.
The deal I made with Derek has become a thick, black cloud hanging over my head. Collin Franzen is… different than I expected him to be. Not to be one of those girls that puts a guy on a pedestal, but he’s completely out of my league. Except… he doesn’t act that way. He’s so sweet and considerate and I’m falling, hard.