by Steph Poe
"That sounds fine with me. It's actually been quite awhile since I've had sushi. Are you sure you're ready for sushi?" I give her a sideways glance. Last time we went for sushi, Ashton decided to try eel and it made her terribly sick to her stomach. That night, she made me promise never to ask her to go get sushi ever again.
"Yeah, well, sushi is Matt's favorite. And it's been like six months since the eel incident. I think I'll be okay. Just don't let me accidentally order something with eel in it."
"I'm sure Matt would be thrilled to take care of your sick ass," I chuckle and take a sip of my coffee. She narrows her eyes at me and scowls. "I'm kidding, Ash. I won't let you order eel," I laugh and set my coffee down so I can arrange the planners that need to be fanned out for display.
I look up and see Brynna is making some last minute adjustments to her table. She is really taking this project seriously. I walk over to her with every intention of praising her.
She looks up at me with a frantic deer in the headlights look.
"Oh, this table isn't right. The candles should be bigger. The holders just swallow them up." She's holding the black pillar candles in both hands, trying to stare them into being the right size. I've never seen her so hysterical. Usually she's positive and upbeat, while still being a calming presence. She is really freaking out about this. I realize maybe I've been putting too much pressure on her. I want her to be a really great assistant and I know she will be. Maybe I haven't been as encouraging as I could have been.
I put my hand on her shoulder and she looks away from the candles and up to my face. "Brynna, take a deep breath for me." I place both of my hands on her shoulders and turn her towards me. She closes her eyes for a moment and breathes deep, in and out.
"You are doing great. This table that you designed all on your own is exquisite. I am so impressed with you. It's such a departure from what I normally do." She looks down at her feet. I realize that statement may have made her feel awkward. "No, Brynna, that's a good thing. I need someone with fresh ideas. All brides are different and I want to be able to make all of them happy, whether they want traditional," I gesture to my table and then to hers, "or dramatic black candles with a striped table cloth and gold accents. In fact, I was going to wait to tell you this, but I can see you could use something to calm you down a bit. Brynna, I would like to promote you to my assistant." Her jaw drops to the floor and her eyes widen.
"Re-really? You want me to be your assistant? But, what about Ashton?" Oh, right. She doesn't know about the partnership yet. I feel someone come up behind us.
"What are you guys talking about? I heard my name." Ashton stands beside me with a confused expression. Well, I guess there's no better time to tell her.
"Well, Ash, I just asked Brynna to be my assistant." I smile at her and gesture my open palm towards Brynna.
Ashton puts her hands on her hips and scoffs. "Um, so are you getting rid of me?" I roll my eyes at her and look over at Brynna who looks wide-eyed and freaked out. "Brynna, I can't believe you would take this position!" Before Brynna has a heart attack, I grab her arm lightly to get her to focus on me.
"Brynna, she's kidding. Ashton is going to be my business partner. I'm not getting rid of her." Brynna looks so relieved. Ashton pulls her in for a hug and apologizes for teasing her.
Now that my team is all smiles and less worried, I'm excited to hear the doors are open for the show. We have a steady stream of people all day. Seven brides sign up for a consultation while countless others take free planners and our information. I love seeing the excitement on the brides' faces; they're in love and getting ready to plan one of the most important days of their lives. There are a few men who tagged along with their brides-to-be. Most of them are just there for support, although there is one groom who I think is more into the wedding planning than his soon-to-be bride is. That is definitely a rarity, though. I wonder if Cal will be interested in planning our wedding.
Whoa, now I'm really getting ahead of myself. We've only been together less than a month and I'm already thinking about our wedding. But on the other hand, I am a wedding planner and it's only natural for me to be thinking about my own wedding someday. Only, when I've thought about my wedding before, I never had a groom in mind. Now, when I picture my wedding, Cal is the only man I envision as my groom.
I feel like there's a serious conversation on the horizon. Cal and I need to discuss our relationship. I mean, is he my boyfriend? That seems like such a teenage thing.
I'm in love with him, and boy definitely does not describe my man. I'm twenty-eight years old. I mean, do women my age have boyfriends? Or has there been a new name created that I'm not aware of. Like...man friend? That's awful.
Maybe...loverman? Hey everyone, meet Cal, my loverman. Maybe not.
Chapter 25
Our day at the bridal show ran pretty late, so Ashton and I decided to meet our men at the sushi restaurant. The building is new construction, located right next to a casual burger chain restaurant that sits just off the interstate. The building looks Japanese in its architecture. When we walk up to the front door, the path crosses over a small brook. I look over the edge of the railing and see large, gold fish swimming.
When we walk inside, Cal and Matt are waiting for us at the bar. The place is pretty busy, as most places are on Saturday nights. They must be waiting for a table.
When I catch Cal's eye, I feel a big, dorky smile spread across my face. He just lights me up every time I see him. How did I get so lucky to have this sexy man want me? I see my smile reflected in his own. When I walk over to him, he immediately wraps me in a big hug.
"I missed you, baby," he whispers lovingly into my ear before he kisses my cheek.
The feeling of his arms around me is so comforting. It's like coming home after a long, hard day. My head rests on his chest and I inhale his woodsy scent that I can't get enough of. I realize we are being rude to Ashton and Matt, so I turn out of the embrace, but Cal keeps one arm around my waist.
"Nice to see you, Matt," I say.
"You as well. How was the bridal show?" He picks up his glass and takes a sip of his beer.
Cal is flagging down the bartender, I assume to order me and Ashton a drink.
"It was great, actually. We had a lot of interested people. Plus, it was a great opportunity to network with some of the other vendors." The bartender sets down two glasses of red wine. Cal hands the glasses to me and Ashton, and we gratefully accept, needing to relax after our long day.
"Lake finally told Brynna that she is promoted to assistant, and that I'm gonna be partner," Ash says with excitement, as she wraps her arms around Matt's waist.
Cal pulls me closer to him and whispers into my ear again. "Look how happy she is. You are such a good woman. You care so much about her. She's lucky to have you."
I smile at his compliment. It's me who's truly lucky to have her in my life. There is no way I would have been able to make my business successful without her. She's helped me through so much. Three years ago, when I was in a depression because of Chris and what he did to me, I was ready to give up on the business. I felt worthless. I wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground and die, but Ashton wouldn't let me. She was there for me when I had no one else.
I had just lost my mom to cancer, and then the man I loved and trusted raped me. It was a low point in my life. Ashton helped me out of my depression. She was the one to come to my house when I couldn't get out of bed. She was positive when I was negative about every single thing. She helped me pick up the broken pieces of my heart. Ashton has been my rock and, honestly, I should have made her my partner sooner.
I reach out and pull Ashton in for a hug. "I really should have done this sooner, Ash. I've been selfish and I'm sorry. You deserved this a long time ago." She squeezes me tighter.
"I'm just glad to see you finally happy again. I can't wait to start this new chapter in our lives! And, you're right, you should have promoted me sooner. I am amazingly awesome at my job," she gi
ggles at me.
"And let's not forget incredibly humble." Teasing my best friend is one of my ways I show her how much I love her.
"Our table is ready, ladies." Matt holds his arm out to let us pass him and follow the hostess.
She leads us to the back of the restaurant and shows us to a cozy, corner booth. Ashton and I slide into the center of the half-circle shaped booth, while Cal and Matt each take a seat at the outside ends. We talk to the guys more about our day at the bridal show, then Cal tells us about a new client who wants custom furniture for a new mansion he's building. Supposedly, it's going to keep Cal busy for a long time and make him a lot of money.
"How's the life of a divorce lawyer these days, Matt?" I inquire. It's interesting to me that Ashton and I plan weddings that start a couple's life together and Matt basically helps couples end their unions.
"Oh, you know, same old song and dance. He cheated, she doesn't have sex with me enough, he never listens to me. Yada, yada, yada. Although I do have a new client with a pretty terrible situation. I can usually find some humor in these things, but her situation..." He shakes his head. "Just fucking ridiculous. I wanna help her get every penny out of her douchebag of a husband." He picks up his beer and takes a long pull.
"What did this guy do?" Ashton turns toward Matt with interest.
Matt sets his glass down and clears his throat. "Well, they've only been married for a year. She said he wanted to do some kinky shit with her but she wasn't into it. So one night, they were having dinner, and I guess he slipped something in her drink, like a roofie. She woke up the next morning tied to their bed." He drapes his arm on the back of the bench around Ashton.
My heart starts racing. Immediately, I imagine Chris. The memory crashes into me and I start to sweat. My chest tightens and I'm warm all over, on the verge of a panic attack. I curl my hands in my lap, feeling my sweaty palms. I hate that he still affects me. I hate that he stills has this power over me.
He took away my peace of mind. The fact that hearing it happen to someone else gives me freakish anxiety is not okay. I'm not okay with this. I've got to move on from my past, once and for all. Hearing this only magnifies the intense emotions I still hold inside. I thought I was healed. If I were, I would be able to hear things like this and not panic.
I feel Cal's arm tighten around me. He must sense my discomfort and is trying to reassure me with his presence. I take a deep breath and relax my clenched fingers. I'm not going to let this anxiety over the past ruin my night.
"Did she turn him in?" I ask Matt timidly.
"What's that?"
"Did she call the police on her husband?" I clarify.
"Oh yeah, she did. He's been arrested. Pretty sure he's sitting in jail right now." Matt takes another swig of beer. "She didn't waste any time. She contacted me right away. She's hell bent on getting divorced from his ass as soon as possible."
I had so many questions in my head, it was spinning. The police arrested him just based on what the wife said? They believed her? Did she have to have proof? All too often, sexual assault cases aren't treated with the seriousness they deserve. I have heard so many times the stories of women reporting rape, only to have the man deny it and accuse her of being promiscuous or that she was asking for it.
There were so many times in the past few years when I wished I would have called the police after what happened. I regret not having had the courage to report him. Then he would have truly paid for what he did to me.
One thing always stopped me, no matter how close I got to actually calling the police. The one thing that haunts me almost daily. The one thing I can't deny. I sincerely believe that the assault was my fault.
I allowed him to tie me up. I told him to do it. I was okay with it, at first. In fact, I had been intrigued by the idea of giving up control. It all changed the moment he tied me up. I panicked. I was afraid. I wanted him to untie me. I had asked him,— begged him— to untie me. It didn't feel right. It was like my body was warning me that something bad was going to happen. I ignored the signs until it was too late. He ignored me when I begged to be untied. He raped me. And I had let him.
So my internal battle wages on, as it always does. The rational part of me screams at the foolish side of me, "Stop blaming yourself! You are the victim! You trusted him and he violated that trust in the worst way possible," while the foolish side mutters with a voice full of shame, "But I allowed it to happen. I let him tie me up. I gave him permission and then changed my mind."
The rational side of me just bitch slaps the foolish side and says, "Open your eyes! You. Are. The. Victim. Stop. Blaming. Yourself." Rational side wins the battle, for tonight. I only wish that my rational side could always be the side that I accept.
"Well, I sure hope that asshole gets what he deserves." With my expression smug, I grab my wine glass and drain it. Ashton must have caught on to my mood because I feel her give my thigh a reassuring squeeze under the table and, looking up, I catch a sympathetic grin on her face.
Matt looks completely relaxed and I feel relieved because it seems he's pretty clueless that anything is wrong with me. I had thought Ashton probably told him what happened to me. Especially after the night Chris found me and I had fainted. I'm a private person and it was hard enough to tell Cal about being raped. Ashton of course had been the only one there for me after it happened. Thank God she was, because I may not have kept my sanity, what with my Mom dying and then being assaulted by someone I trusted.
Our food arrives and I can't wait to dig into my crazy roll. I look over at Matt's plate and see some pretty adventurous sushi. Like real sushi —super, extra raw sushi. So, when I said I like sushi, I only meant the cooked stuff. My crazy roll consists of fried shrimp tempura and crabmeat on the top with a delicious sauce drizzle. Meanwhile, Matt's sushi has raw tuna, yellowfish, and something that possibly used to have tentacles. Oh wait, I see tentacles wrapped in seaweed too.
Cal, I have learned, is not into sushi at all. Luckily, this restaurant also has some red meat options. He orders a New York strip with french fries. Ashton is like me and prefers the "cooked" sushi. She orders the shrimp tempura rolls.
We finish our dinner with the conversation steering clear of any more divorce tales from Matt. Ashton helps keep the vibe lighthearted, choosing to embarrass me with old stories from high school.
"Freshman year, we were so nervous to start high school. It was like five times the size of middle school and intimidating as hell. We put on tons of makeup to try to look like the senior girls."
I feel the blush heating my cheeks. I shake my head and gaze down at my last crazy roll and poke at it with a chopstick.
"We walked inside, had no idea where we were going, turned down a hallway full of seniors. There was a group of jocks standing by the lockers and they looked right at us. So, Lake tried to look back at them, didn't watch where she was going, and ran right into a wall." Ashton cracks up at my expense and Matt joins her. I feel Cal's chest vibrate with a chuckle, but he presses me closer to him and kisses my cheek.
"Yeah, thanks for that, Ash. But you forgot to mention that, as a result of running into that wall, I got a black eye, and you got a date with a senior guy. So, my most embarrassing moment turned out pretty great for you."
She dismisses me with a wave of her hand. "Yeah, because that turned out well!" she scoffs. "He dumped me when I wouldn't let him touch my boobs. Anyway, remember when we decided to try out for the tennis team, and—."
Before she can get any further, I interrupt. "Okay, I think that's enough 'embarrass Lake' stories for tonight."
"Well, I think we could all use some sake." Matt waves his hand to call attention to our waiter.
"Oh, no. Not for me. Sake is not my friend." I shake my head and raise my palms up in mock surrender. The one time I drank sake, I ended up throwing up in the cab I was riding in. It's definitely not something I want a repeat of.
"Come on, Lake. Let loose. You ladies had a long day," Matt says in the
same convincing tone that Ashton uses to make me do things I don't want to do.
Cal whispers in my ear, "We don't have to, babe. I can take you home and help you let loose and relax." He runs his tongue over the shell of my ear and it elicits shivers down my body. He's very convincing, but I know Ashton won't let me sit this one out.
"Lake! Please? The four of us never get together. Let's have fun!" She grabs both of my hands and pleads with me, giving her best puppy dog eyes. Her argument is ridiculous seeing as how the four of us just got together a couple of weeks ago. Although, we are celebrating tonight. I know she's really excited about her promotion and, quite honestly, I'm excited too.
I shake my head. "Fiiiine." I draw out that one word in an exasperated sigh. "Bring on the sake!"
Four words that I know I'll regret later.
The waiter brings out two small porcelain containers that look like vases for flowers filled with warm sake. Four small white cups accompany them. Cal fills each tiny cup with the clear liquid and passes them around to each of us.
Cal raises his cup in the air and we all do the same.
"A toast, to two beautiful, successful women and their future endeavors." We all take turns clinking our cups together before tipping the cups back like shot glasses.
The liquid burns my throat and I feel it work its way down, leaving a trail of warmth in my chest, all the way to my stomach. I chase it with a big gulp of ice water.
"Woohoo! Damn, that's strong!" Ashton is loud enough to earn us a few annoyed looks from other diners. Ashton doesn't even notice. One thing I love about her is her ability to disregard what other people think of her. She dances to her own tune, and it sounds a lot like a Lady Gaga song.
Cal begins refilling our tiny cups. "Technically, I think we're supposed to sip the sake, not shoot it like Jack."
That earns a giggle from Ashton. "Where's the fun in that, Cally boy?"
Cal glares at her little nickname, but then shakes his head and laughs. "It's your night, Ashton. Guess we do it your way." He grabs his cup, tips it towards all of us, and then drains it in one quick gulp. We all follow his lead, although I hesitate for a moment, not sure how much more I can handle.