by Daphne Clair
Morris protested but Cade, as usual, got his way.
Carissa booked him a room and he cut short Morris's offer of a car driven by her to pick him up in the morning and take him to the airport.
get a cab,' Cade said shortly. 'Carissa has had enough of me, this trip.'.
Carissa was incapable of making any polite protests, and Morris's hasty assurances that he was sure she wasn't only underlined her silence. He cast her a worried and puzzled glance, then offered to drive Cade to the hotel himself, much to Carissa's relief.
you mind if I go home, Morris?' she asked. 'I'll be in to work tomorrow.'
'Take the day off if you like,' he said. 'You're entitled to some leave.
'I'm sure she is,' Cade agreed pleasantly. 'She's been —more than you said she was, Morris.'
'We'll drop you off,' said Morris, and Carissa had to endure the drawn-out bittersweet pain of riding in the back seat while the two men chatted in front. Or Morris chatted and Cade replied in, for the most part, polite monosyllables.
When they stopped Cade got out and opened her door for her, but she held her bag firmly, not letting him carry it in.
'IA manage, thanks,' she said. She put out a hand' and said Steadily, 'Goodbye, Cade. Good luck.'
He ignored the hand and tipped her chin to drop a brief, hard kiss on her lips. 'Goodbye for now, sweet Carissa,' he said. 'Thanks for—everything.'
She steeled herself not to watch as the car drove away.
CHAPTER NINE
SHE didn't take a day off. She preferred to go to work and try to keep herself too busy to think about Cade.
She kept busy, all right, but it didn't stop het thinking. Morris had acquired a signed picture from Cade before he left, and it had joined the gallery lining the passageway to Morris's office. Every time Carissa passed it the black eyes seemed to gleam mockery at her, and she winced inwardly as she tried to avoid looking at it.
She dragged herself through each day by sheer determination, presenting a smiling if slightly strained face to the world, and although her flatmate asked once or twice if she was feeling all right, she was able to congratulate herself on fooling most of the people most of the time. But sleepless nights took their toll, and about a month after Cade had departed, Morris took a good
, look at her one day and said, 'You know, it's time you had a holiday, Carrie. Why don't, you take some time off while it's slack? I can handle all we have on over the next two weeks, and the lodge is free, if you'd like to use jt. Take a girl friend with you, if you like.'
At the mention of the lodge her fingers tightened on the notebook she was holding. Telling herself not to be ridiculous, she deliberately relaxed them, saying smoothly, 'I'm all right, Morris. The last few weeks have been fairly busy, that's all.'
'No busier than usual. You should have taken a couple of days to relax after that Fernand business, instead of coming back to work. All that must have been a strain for you. That's another thing—we'll have bookings to make for Cade's tour and all the arrangements 'Will have to be finalised in the next month or
so. You take a break and I'll get you on to that when you come back—'
'No!'
`What?' Morris looked blank.
`I'm sorry, Morris ' She was being clumsy about
this, but it had to come sometime. 'I've been thinking. It isn't a holiday I need, it's a change of job. I'm getting a bit—tired of the all constant pressure in this job. I'm—I'm giving you notice, Morris.'
He couldn't have looked more stunned if she had hit him.
`You're—but Carrie, you can't!'
`I'm not indispensable,' she smiled. 'You'll find another dogsbody—'
`But you can't!' Morris repeated. 'What about the Cadiz Fernand contract?'
Trying to prevent her voice from trembling, she said, 'What about it? Someone else can handle the bookings—'
`No, no, no! Haven't you read it?'
With a sudden chill creeping over her, she said, 'No. I just filed it without looking at it. What difference can it possibly
`Look, I don't know what went on between you two at :lie lodge
`Nothing went on, Morris—nothing!'
`Okay, I'm sorry—I know you're a girl with principles, Carrie, but that clause in Cade's contract—I guess he made a pass or two and you turned him down, is that it?'
`No comment,' she said coldly. 'What clause in his contract?'
`He wrote it in when you were there,' Morris said unhappily. 'I thought you knew—he wants you on the tour with him. Carissa Martin to accompany him on the tour as my representative. Otherwise, he could cancel.'
Numbly, Carissa stared. 'Why?'
'How should I know? I thought you did.'
`Well, your new assistant will just have to take my place,' said Carissa. 'He'll have to be satisfied with that.'
'Carrie, you know he won't be. He asked for you by name. It's you he wants.'
It's you he wants. Her mind echoed the words bitterly. For how long? she wondered. A night? The duration of the tour? One thing she knew—Cade's wants were temporary, offering a brief ecstasy and then—heartbreak. For her, it wasn't nearly enough.
'Do you know what you're asking me to do?' she
asked.
Morris looked hurt. 'I'm not asking you to do anything against your principles,' he said. 'So, maybe the man's attracted to you, and you don't want to know. You've dealt with the situation' before. And surely, if you could handle him at the lodge, when the two of you were alone, you won't have any trouble on tour, with his manager and the band and all the other members of the tour party—heck, you know there's no privacy on tour, except when two people both make good and sure they get it ! '
'Morris, I can't! I want to leave '
'Have you another job lined up?'
'Not yet,' she admitted. 'Not exactly.'
'Well, what difference is a couple of months or so going to make? Take that holiday, Carrie, and do the tour for me, and then maybe you'd like to think about it again.'
'Morris, I really don't think—'
'Carrie, I've got thousands of dollars tied up in this tour, and you know Fernand! I like the guy, but there's no doubt he's a tough customer. You know he'll insist on having everything his way, or no deal. He can afford to back out, Carrie. I can't!'
So Carissa gave in, feeling resentful and upset, and angry with herself because in spite of her knowledge of what it would mean for her, her heart was singing at the thought of seeing Cade, of spending weeks with him on the road.
She went to the lodge because Morris insisted, and she half thought she might lay some ghosts there. But there were too many memories. She lay on the sand and imagined Cade's tanned torso lying beside her, his warm hand pulling her up beside him to race into the water again. In the house she heard the echo of his guitar, his voice softly humming a new song. At night she dreamed of his kisses, his hands on her body, and-she woke to stare aching into the morning light while her pulses slowed and bleak reality cooled her heated. skin. After four days she packed up and flew to Invercargill to spend the rest of her leave with her brother. It was not entirely successful, since Clive was away at work each day, but he put her up in his flat and introduced her to some of his friends, and she went out a lot. It passed the time, and at least it was a long way from Kamahi Lodge.
When she returned to work, Morris looked her over sharply and made no comment on her looks, from which she deduced wryly that they had not improved.
'I stayed with. Clive most of the time,' she said defensively. 'He goes round with a fairly lively crowd.'
'You were supposed to be resting,' Morris growled, but he looked vaguely relieved.
'Well, they say a change is as good as ...' she said flippantly. 'Now, what have you got for me today?'
He had plenty, and for the next few weeks she was immersed in work. When it dealt with the Fernand tour she trained herself not to be sensitive about it, and eventually she was able to contemplate his name and the publici
ty photographs without a visible tremor. Morris was promoting the tour in a big way, making
capital of the fact that personal appearances of Cadiz Fernand were rare now. He was justifiably proud of his coup.
She made the hotel bookings, noting that Cade had stipulated a twombed suite for himself. So he still preferred to have Jack nearby, even though he was no longer blind. A third person was to have a single room.
Carissa tried hard to find an excuse not to go to the airport when Cade finally arrived, but Morris took it for granted they would both be there,, and she was needed to help organise the arrangements to whisk Cade off the plane and into the VIP lounge for a brief television interview and then to his hotel.
The meeting was easier than she had anticipated. Morris was hastily shaking Cade's hand when the dark eyes met hers briefly, and she noted he looked lean and fit and relaxed. She recognised Jack Benton and returned his beaming smile, wondering if he remembered her without prompting, or if Cade had casually refreshed his memory of eight years ago. In spite of herself her face burned a little.
Cade glanced about and smiled at someone standing a little behind him, putting out a hand to bring her - forward, and Carissa realised that the pretty, dark—
haired young woman who had been hovering nearby Was with him. She had been told to book a suite and a single room, and had supposed the third person was a secretary or an assistant for Jack, or simply someone who looked after the equipment. Now, as she watched Cade slip his arm about the strange gilt and saw the quality of the smile she gave him, sweet and a little shy, her heart began a slow thumping of forboding.
Then Cade transferred his glance to Carissa, still smiling. 'This is Rita,' he said to her. 'She's shy of publicity. Look after her for me, will you?'
Carissa wondered if her smile looked as stiff as it felt. Automatically she put out her hand and felt
smooth, slim fingers touch hers. Then an airport official was leading them all to the lounge, Cade and Morris together, then Jack, with the two women in the rear. Carissa gathered that she was supposed to keep Rita away from the press, so she quietly led her to a secluded corner of the room while Cade conducted the interview.
She supposed she should be making some kind of subdued conversation, but for the moment speech had deserted her. Rita didn't seem to mind. Her gaze was fixed on. Cade, with a soft light in her eyes compounded fairly obviously of pride and love. Watching her, Carissa was suddenly shaken by compassion. Don't love him so much! she wanted to say. -The girl made it w so obvious, and Cade wasn't capable of appreciating or returning what Rita had to give.
It wouldn't be any use, of course. Love alighted where it would, and Carissa knew only too well the futility of trying to change its direction once it fixed on Cade. She looked ova-at him, sitting at ease in a lounging pose, parrying questions with lazy replies that brought an occasional spurt of laughter from the interviewer.
Deliberately, in case her face should betray her as Rita's did, Carissa removed her eyes from Cade and transferred .them to the girl. Rita was not as young as she had first thought. There were tiny lines at the corners of her eyes, and her hands had not the smoothness of a young girl's. When she was smiling her mouth had a soft sweetness, but when she moved her gaze from Cade to find a "cigarette in her bag, her lips set in a slightly hardened line, and she began to look like someone who had 'been around', perhaps taken some hard knocks in life. In spite of the loose dark hair that framed her face, her casual denim suit, the slim and pretty figure, Rita was not a girl, but a mature woman, probably quite a lot older than herself, Carissa realised.
.
Now, with the cigarette in her hand, blowing smoke with a practised air, her shapely legs crossed casually at the knee, she looked sophisticated and sure of herself. It was only, with Cade, Carissa realised, that the woman became vulnerable.
She was wearing a wedding ring, which gave Carissa a bad moment when she noticed it. She clenched her fingers, remembering the ring that Cade had given her, with the casual information that it was his mother's. Only later, of course, she had realised the reason for his angry indifference to its sentimental value. It hadn't been his mother's at all, but simply a second hand trinket picked up in a pawnshop by Jack, to go with one of his invented stories about Cadiz Fernand. She wondered if Jack had any idea how much that had hurt Cade—and then she wondered how she knew. But she did. The cynicism he had displayed about it revealed the depth of the hurt. It was Cade's way of covering up.
Had he given a ring equally casually to Rita? Or was the ring some other man's token of love? Cade said Rita was shy of publicity. She didn't really look the type to be embarrassed by the fact that she was travelling with Cade—unless she was, perhaps, still married to someone else ...
Other men's wives—for the first time she wondered if Cade had brought Rita along in order. to torment herself. Why else would he have insisted on her coming on the tour, and then casually introduced her to this woman who was surely his current mistress? Had he planned it all simply to hurt her?
Or had he simply met Rita and wanted her along, without giving a thought to the girl in New Zealand whose company he had once wanted enough to write a dause into his contract ensuring she accompanied him on this tour?
She realised that through the cloud of blue smoke from her cigarette, Rita was appraising her with -a
shrewd look. 'Cade said he spent some time with you when he was here last,' she said.
'Did he?' Carissa said cautiously.
Rita suddenly gave her charming smile. 'He was pretty_ cagey about it, though. He said you were clever and efficient and cool. Somehow I had the impression you were a bit older and more—well, more the spinster secretary type. I should have known.
'What should you have known?'
Quite gently, Rita said, 'Am I speaking out of turn? I'm sorry—I haven't been with Cade very long, and I'm curious about him, about what he's been doing, the people he knew before we—'
Jack interrupted her, asking if they were ready to go because the interview was over and they had just an hour and a half to get to the hotel and prepare for a press interview that Morris and Carissa had set up for Cade.
Cade wants you to go with him,' he told Rita. There were two cars waiting, and Morris, Jack and Carissa shared the second one. Carissa had slipped away from Rita's side as Cade opened the door of the cab, and when he looked around for her she was climbing into the other one with Morris.
She saw him turn and smile at Rita as the car moved off aheadof them, and Jack, getting in and shutting the door beside him, turned and said, 'Cade said he'd write and tell you himself about booking for Rita, too—it's all fixed, is it?'
'Carrie?' Morris queried confidently, and She said, with a hollow feeling inside,
'Yes, Jack. Everything's just as Cade ordered. A suite and a single in 'each hotel.'
'Good,' said Jack. 'Surprised you, did it? I must admit the whole thing surprises me, a bit. You wouldn't believe the difference in that guy since Rita's been with him.'
Carissa would have left it there, allowed Jack to turn and face the view from the windscreen, but Morris was curious. 'How has he changed?' he asked.
'Well—' Jack paused. 'I've known Cade a long time. He's a great guy, a great entertainer—and a good friend. But he's kinda sharp-cornered, you know. When he's in a certain mood, you watch your step.'
'He's tough,' Morris added.
Jack made a deprecatory face, shrugging slightly. 'Yeah—yeah,' he conceded. 'He's .a good guy, but he's tough. But, with Rita, it's different. Some of the edges have been taken off. Guess he never had anyone before he really cared about. He hardly lets her out of his sight, you know. You'd think she was made of glass which she definitely ain't! Our Rita's been around a bit, you know. In fact, I wasn't too keen when he insisted on having her with him—a girl with her background. But he pleased himself, as usual, and I have to eat my words. She's been good for him, and she sure is reformed. In fact, it might make good publi
city—it's sort of romantic, Cade finding her working in some sleazy dive like he did. But there's her ex-husband—she-doesn't want him to know—' He paused. 'Of course, this is all off the record,' he said. 'Rita's a great girl, I don't want her hurt—and Cade would kill me. You won't use it?'
Morris assured him they wouldn't. The contract meant too much to him to risk losing it.
When the car stopped outside the hotel Carissa said to Morris, `Do you mind if I go now, Morris? You won't need me again today, and there's heaps to do still before we leave for the tour.'
Reluctantly, he agreed, and she went back to the - office to tie up a few loose ends—it wasn't true there was a lot to do, but she managed to occupy herself—and then she went home. There was to be one concert in Auckland the following night, and two more here at
the end of the tour, after they had been to the other main centres. The backing group who were local musicians had already put in many hours of rehearsal, and tomorrow they would rehearse with Cade before the first show went on. She had no need to see him tomorrow and—she took two aspirins and lay down on her bed, hand against her throbbing eyes. She couldn't go on tour with him, not now.
Probably he no longer wanted her to, anyway. He had met Rita now and .by Jack's account Rita was pretty special. It was rather obvious that none of his other girls had affected him as she did. For once, he cared. She should have been happy for him, for his having at last found love, but instead she felt nothing but a dull anguish. Why couldn't it have been her?
She worked in the office all the next day, finding things to. do. She should have been at the concert in the evening, but instead she told Morris she had a headache and wanted an early night ready for the beginning of the tour the following day. Although by now she had worked out a plan and had no intention of joining the plane they had chartered for Wellington.
She phoned Morris just before the time she should have been meeting him in the morning, and said, 'Morris, I feel rotten. You'll have to send Sandra, or tell Cade' he'll have to manage without a dogsbody. Unless you go yourself. I could cope-with the office once I get over this—this bug I seem to have picked up.'